Need Help With Squeeze Page Please

mmmm sorry hun...

there is something I don't love about it. but can't actually say what it is...

there is something in the voice... it doesn't show the natural emotion related with what it is saying.

makes sense?

RDG

A couple of things... You need to present your messege in text as well as video. I'm not at all fond of video messages and much prefer reading. There are a lot of people out there who feel the same.

I did watch your video though. The info you put out is very vague and general. People want to know more specifics about what you're offering before investing time in checking out an opportunity.

Also, the entire tempo of the message is way too slow. The music and the narrator almost put me to sleep. The guy who delivered the message would be well suited to hypnosis recordings. I'd say you need something far more energetic.

That's my two cents. Good luck!

The headline immediately caught my eye and just as I start reading (and I was drawn to read it) the audio starts...kind of like someone walking up and rudely interrupting a conversation already in progress...

Hi,

I just visited your site and I hope you don't
take this the wrong way but the audio in
the video sounded REALLY sleazy.

I get lots of wrong images with the music
and stuff going on. Might just be me.

Asher

Hi Ron,

Looks okay to me except your speaking in the video sounds
too slow. Hope this does not offend you.

Anyway Ron, I wonder if you'd like some nice squeezepage
template graphics and audio you can have for fr'ee inexchange
for perhaps a small ad or link in your membership site promoting
my free membership site at:
www.giveawayclub.net

However if you don't want to do this, I'll still give you these
professional graphics and audio for free

Just PM me back and I'll PM you back the download link.

Something doesn't seem to fit.. I think it is the video.

Maybe you can make a more energetic video and do provide more info on what your business is all about.

Regards,

Muhammad Noor

OK, to be brutally honest, I mostly agree with the above posts and just don't like the video, music, and graphics.

IMHO, it would be a lot more effective if you just talked to the listener/viewer like you were having coffee with them. If you've had some results with your information, share that, share your excitement. It doesn't necessarily need to be all fast-talking and energetic - passion can come through even when you're talking slowly.

Don't worry about the style of presentation, just be real.

But just having a regular guy look into the camera and say, "Hey, thanks for stopping by. You know, I've had some great results with these techniques on two of my websites [or whatever], and I'm sure they'll do wonders for your online business. Just fill in your info and click the button, and I'll send you the info right away. Don't worry, I won't spam you every day with a bunch of junk, and I will NOT sell or share your information with anyone. I'll look forward to hearing from you."

Just my thoughts - take 'em or leave 'em.

Bill

I think it is a good start and will be fine with a little tweaking.

The video starting automatically distracted me while I was trying to read the text. The tempo of the video could be a little more upbeat/enthusiastic in fact you may do well to test w/out the video when you start to promote.

Same with the header graphic the text "Making Money From Home is Easy" is a little fuzzy and could be clearer with a little more snap. I would test w/out the header also.

Just some suggestions
Tom

Hey Ron-
It's the same weary, boring voice. I only listened to about 5 seconds and clicked away.

Ron you can actually hire professional voice talent for $50 for a 60 second voice over commercial, that should be all you need. Hope this helps.