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Help me, help me, help me

by TimCastleman
22 replies
I've seen an increase recently in the number of "help me make money" threads and I figured after a nice cup of coffee and a morning cigar I'd put a few words to "paper" about it.

For everyone who wants to make money on the internet - it's not about you.
For everyone who wants to make $3,000,000 in 30 days - it's not about you.
For everyone who dreams of a better life through IM - it's not about you.

Stop thinking about yourself, and start thinking about others first. Think about a relationship. Are relationships successful if each person puts themselves first and doesn't think about the other person? Today for instance, my bride to be is on her way over to pick me up so we can go cake shopping for our wedding. Think I want to do that? No, there are a million things involving poking my eyes out with a dull knife that I'd rather do - but it's not about me, it's about us.

The same thing goes for being a parent. At my age my parents are still active in my life and still to this day give of themselves. Just last week my dad came over and installed a couple of fans for me (cause I am about as mechanical as a pig). Why did he do that? Because it wasn't about him, it was because he wanted to help his only son.

So what is the key to making money in life? It's not about you, it's about your customers. If you truly want to make money in life put others before yourself. Find a group that needs help and help them.

"You can get anything in life you want by helping enough other people get what they want." Zig Ziglar

So stop making your quest for money about you and start making it about other people. Give of yourself first and money will follow.

Wife to be is at the door, gotta go cake shopping, cause it's not about me.
  • Profile picture of the author SundayOff5th
    Great post! I totally agree. I think it is easy to forget about the customer in IM since we do not actually really "see" them and in many forms of IM we do not really have any communication with them at all. That is when it all becomes about numbers and we forget about actually helping the customer.

    Maybe if we change our focus a bit when marketing, it will help others and help ourselves. Great post!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Kaye
    You know what the most effective word in advertising is?

    FREE? Nope
    NEW? Uh-uh
    QUALITY? No way Jose...

    It's YOU! Y-O-U. People don't buy products, they buy solutions to problems.

    This product will help YOU _______.
    This product will make YOU ________er.
    This product will be a benefit to YOU because _______.

    Thanks for the great post!
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  • Profile picture of the author fun90012000
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author my_addict_mind
      so this thread will really put off guys who engage in ppi. they just do it for the money no matter what.
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  • Profile picture of the author IMChick
    Exactly. I got so fed up with it all over after the first few opened a floodgate on the forum for requests for what I call personal bailout assistance.

    It's alot like the store that Ned Flanders owns on The Simpsons that sells widgets to left-handed people. A great niche? Or an 'eye roller'?

    It all comes down to planning and marketing with emphasis on the pecularities of the niche. Hey, Ned, how about sponsoring a household tips show on one of the cable networks? Just think of how many left handed paint buckets and brushes you could sell to that desperate market with the right exposure.

    You decide what your business plan should be, and figure out the steps to get to that goal yourself. Keep in mind that the search for customers takes the emphasis off of 'you' and puts it onto them.
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  • Profile picture of the author talfighel
    I actually got an email with the header and this person asked me to help him to make money online BUT he has no money to do anything.

    I am clearly not going to waste my time with people like these.

    After all, IT TAKES MONEY TO MAKE MONEY.

    Great post by the way...

    Tal
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  • Profile picture of the author jglover
    You know, this for me was the biggest turning point in my business. I kept hearing over and over, "you have to help others first", and I honestly believed that. The only problem was that just because I believed it, didn't mean I was living it. You know even the "free reports" I was giving away were completely focused on me. I would base the information that I was giving away on something that I knew nothing about just because I could throw in a better paying affiliate link.

    When I finally got it, and just "let go" of the money all together, my entire life changed. It's difficult to communicate this to someone getting started, but I can promise you that if you can really understand that it is not about you, and you begin to develop a true passion for helping people rather than making a buck, then you will make more progress than you ever thought possible.

    Great Post Tim! Thanks
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    • Profile picture of the author TimCastleman
      It is a hard concept for some people to get in business. I read a great book which talked about the friend concept and it finally clicked for me. The cliff notes of it is this - if you treat your customers like your friends you'll find a closer bond between you to and you go from just another person doing business to an advisor and trusted friend.

      So many people want to walk in the door and walk out with a check. Imagine going to a bar walking up to a girl and asking her to go home with you right then? Not that smart if you ask me.

      Instead why not go into a business and just have a chat, like you would with a friend and learn more about them and how they could use your services.

      Make friends and turn those friends into customers. Help them and they will help you.
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  • Profile picture of the author anonymous123567
    Its something I was lucky enough to grasp early on in my Full Time sales job, if you give people a chance to express themselves/take a genuine interest in what they've got to say, they'll keep coming back time and time again. You've got to really want to do it though
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    • Profile picture of the author Rendix
      Very Good Read,

      Being a newcomer myself I know what It's like to be in the shoes of someone anxious to make a buck online, I'm there. But I've always been accepting of any information anyone might have to give me, and try to give my best in return.

      I always use an analogy from another facet of my life. When I decided I wanted to play guitar, I didn't learn that overnight. After 1 painful year of breaking in my hands and 3-4 years of practice with "broken" hands I am finally a "competent" guitar player.

      Making a dollar online must be the same beast. Yes I want to learn it, and it's every mans dream to get something for nothing. I try to realize though, that this is like anything else, and I will get out of it what I put into it over the long-haul.
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      • Profile picture of the author BrianTubbs
        I agree 100% with the points in this forum. Newbies with a "feed me, feed me" mentality won't go very far. Internet marketing is a business, not a bailout program or an opportunity for handouts. And I acknowledge this as a newbie.

        That said...I think there IS a distinction to be made here. And if you all disagree with me, I'd like to hear it (nicely, preferably, of course ).

        Newbies looking to put together their first squeeze pages, websites, WSO offers, etc. are still going to need guidance as to how to word things, how to structure things, and - yes - whether what they are planning to offer contains enough VALUE.

        I understand the advice that the market determines the value, and we need to test things, but...

        Newbies like me don't have a lot of $$$ to "test" things. That's why we come here - to get advice from experienced IMers who can help us avoid some (not all, of course) mistakes and pitfalls.

        So....I agree that the "Help me make $1000 in 24 hours" posts are inappropriate in that they smack of self-centered desperation.

        But there is a difference between those kinds of posts and ones that are similar to one I recently did, where I'm asking for help in putting together my first PLR-related WSO.

        It's reasonable for a newbie (IMO) to ask opinions from experienced marketers as to what the "market value" might be for certain product offerings. It's reasonable for a newbie to ask questions along these lines.

        I should also add that, in some cases, a desperate "Help Me" post may be justified. People do go through crises. As a pastor, I counsel people in these types of situations all the time. Some compassion is warranted. Yes, that includes tough love at times. Again, I agree with the sentiments raised in this forum. But...I hope that everyone will remember that behind many of these "Help Me" posts is a human being genuinely in need of help and who is reaching out to the folks here at WF.

        Please don't flame me. If you disagree with me, that's fine. I welcome your comments. But I thought I'd stick my neck out as one newbie here who appreciates it when veterans offer up suggestions, tips, advice, action plans, etc.
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  • Profile picture of the author learnfromthebest
    excellent post! You truly help someone get what they want, and it comes back to you over and over.
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    • Profile picture of the author TimCastleman
      I should also add that, in some cases, a desperate "Help Me" post may be justified. People do go through crises. As a pastor, I counsel people in these types of situations all the time. Some compassion is warranted. Yes, that includes tough love at times. Again, I agree with the sentiments raised in this forum. But...I hope that everyone will remember that behind many of
      these "Help Me" posts is a human being genuinely in need of help and who is reaching out to the folks here at WF.
      If someone is in need I have no problem reaching out my hand and helping them. One of the most defining moments of my life was setting up an emergency shelter after a storm and manning it for an entire week while we feed thousands and sheltered hundreds.

      What I have issue with is people expecting everything for nothing. There is so much great information on the Warrior Forum and other places for free. Look at the Simple Cash Cow thread. David, Andrew, and Shaun along with others gave of their time to help people out there. I'd be all of those people got more sales of their products because they did something for "nothing" and gave freely and were rewarded.

      As far as people not having money. Look if you were told you were going to be evicted from your house unless you came up with $1,000 I bet most people would work from sun up to sun down to make the money needed.

      People have the power to make things happen in their lives, sometimes it requires sacrifice and going without in the short term to achieve your dreams in the long term.

      Live your life like no one else today, so later you can live like no one else - who said that?
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianTubbs
    Like I said, Tim, I agree with you. And I hope nothing I wrote is taken by anyone to suggest that I support people "expecting everything for nothing."
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    • Profile picture of the author TimCastleman
      Brian -

      I bet if someone came to a an IM and said look I'm a total newbie, I don't know jack about squat but I do have the time to learn what I need to and I'd be more than happy to help you with your business while you teach me what I need to know someone would take them up on it.

      And I understand that people want to set goals and making them public pushes them along with people pulling for them. Trust me, I've read the same books, and understand it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Josef Kane
    Very true words Tim. In fact that may be the reason why so many don't "make" it in internet marketing. Can't blame some people as in fairness helping other people nowadays almost seems old fashioned and they have been brought up with the Me,Me,Me attitude from the greed is good days. Relationship marketing always brings in better long term gains then the quick profit grab but some you just can't tell that to.
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  • Profile picture of the author MichaelPaul
    I agree, if all were doing is looking at that next person as a pay check then I think were headed in the wrong direction...

    If you want to have real success online you need to think of the customer or prospect first...

    Build a relationship with them and help them in any way you can. If you do this you will build trust with them and the cash will flow for you...

    You can then set back and feel good about what your doing online... Making friends and money at the same time is a great concept.

    To Your Success,
    Michael Paul
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  • Profile picture of the author lcombs
    Way to go! You "spilled the beans".

    Now every IMer in the world will be helping people...

    Wait a minute... that's a good thing...

    Great post!

    LC
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  • Profile picture of the author twannahiga
    Top post! Agree with that definitely, it can be easy to forget about the customer because we sometimes do not have direct contact with them. We can sometimes treat customers as numbers and we forget about assisting them with their needs. If we focus a bit more on who we are creating products for it will help both parties in the long run! Nice post!
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    • Profile picture of the author bethsuzi
      mmm, I just posted a thread that start with "help me" and it was to ask if I was doing something wrong in my article marketing strategy.

      Erm, I thought that was one of the factors of a forum. We help each other.

      I am very much aware of the reader/customer. I write about health and I genuinely want to help people, but there comes a time when the work put in is disproportionate to the return taking into consideration the alruistic motives.

      I have posted on many forums to help people in various situations and it has never crossed my mind to say what are you asking for help for?

      I just don't get it.

      Maybe you have forgotton what it is like to be battling against the grain, with months of work but nothing to show.
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      • Profile picture of the author bethsuzi
        P.s I take it you have never asked for help?
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  • Profile picture of the author Mac the Knife
    To all:

    I want to suggest a book. The Go Giver by Bob Burg. The book is a parable that describes one man's journey to success through finding out how to help others. It is a fantastic read, and a fantastic way to live. Bob came out to PerfectNetworker.com's first live event, and the good words he spread pretty much energized everyone in the room.

    Thanks for the great topic and post. This concept is lost on so many people, and they walk away feeling like THEY got screwed, no one is buying from THEM, no one is helping THEM...as soon as folks learn to spread their help outward, it really does come flooding back.

    Much success to all,

    Mac
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  • Profile picture of the author laurelwachtel
    Great post! I would have to agree, we need to be more aware of what are visitors and customers want and cater to their needs to establish a profitable business in the internet marketing area. If you continually offer or promote services or products that are completely beneficial the customer, and assist them every step of the way, you will not only earn the respect of the customer, but develop a rapport and trusting relationship with them for the future!
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