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WHY DO I SEE INFO. PRODUCTS THAT SOUND LIKE HORROR FILMS

by callmestrip
50 replies
I came across GURU ASSASSIN the other day somehow and there is like knives and a cut off foot I think. Blood everywhere.

Now I am not trying to bash this product in any way, shape, or form but I think it is hilarious when I see this stuff. The thought of me buying these products like Google bloodshed massacre.....never crosses my mind.

For GURU ASSASSIN, what is it?

You target a guru, find his home address, sneak in and sucker punch him and then steal his computer, flash drives, etc???

But somehow these products seem to sell very well...

So now I would like to announce my latest and greatest product that will be available to the general public SUMMER OF 09

Here is the preview

CAMTASIA CARNAGE

Inside this bloodbath you will discover how to create KILLER camtasia videos that will have your audience screaming FOR THEIR LIFE!

-Taylor Striplin


OKAY, so I am pretty bored and thought you guys might get a little chuckle out of this.


#films #horror #info #products #sound
  • Profile picture of the author ADAMw3
    Guru Assassin... I am sorry, but that is a stupid name. I think Jonny Andrews has come out with some decent products too... I have no idea what the name relates to the product. Guess we will find out.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gary M.
    I know what you mean. I personally find it unappealing and full of hype, but I guess it works okay since I've seen more than a few marketers do it.
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  • Profile picture of the author callmestrip
    After Camtasia Carnage everyone can be on the look out for...

    CLICKBANK CARNAGE
    "Inside you will discover how to scare your niche market into buying products through YOUR affiliate link. with INTIMIDATION AND A CHAINSAW!
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Lockwood
    Sounds like a killer idea.
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    • Profile picture of the author Learnanew
      Originally Posted by Chris Lockwood View Post

      Sounds like a killer idea.
      I c wut u did thar.
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  • Profile picture of the author Headfirst
    oooohhh.. The Mailing List Meatgrinder.... Customers go in and gold plated sausage comes out.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Fladlien
    I want to create a report called:

    "How to scare the shit out of your prospects so they feel like they HAVE to buy from you or they will die in 24 hours or less... 105.99% guaranteed!"
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    Co-creator of WP Twin. Perhaps the most expensive yet most reliable wordress cloning tool on the market. We've definitely been used more successfully than all other options :)

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    • Profile picture of the author Dixiebelle
      Times are really hard when you have to turn out "products" like that. Glad I'm in growing, recession proof niches.

      I think garbage like that is one thing that has helped to ruin the MMOL niche. Those of you who are in it should start doing what you can to try and clean it up, before there is no money left to be made or customers willing to spend money for your products.

      Dixie
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      • Profile picture of the author floridatroy
        Now that was funny! I agree with you, it seems that there are alot of products with names of that nature. I guess certain people think titles like that will increase sales. The only thing they are successful in killing are our bank accounts! LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author ChrisByrns
    gurumassacre.com is available - could be the next killah product..
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  • Profile picture of the author callmestrip
    To make it a trilogy of absolute carnage

    I will announce the release of my 3rd product that will be available sometime late next year.

    BLACKHAT BRUTALITY

    This amazing and blazing software will create unblockable windows and once the user sees the page they will be faced with a video an optin form.

    Since they cannot exit the page, it leaves them with only one choice.

    To enter their name and email. or watch the video.
    Once the video starts playing the software will automatically turn up the volume to max.

    The video will warn them that they must enter their name and email to exit the window... if not... the video will then warn them that one of those zombies is about to jump out and put them on their ass!

    BLACKHAT BRUTALITY
    "100% CONVERSION RATES....GUARANTEED"


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  • Profile picture of the author ryanman
    haha...This is actually true. A lot of them use such call to action.
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    • Profile picture of the author damienb
      lol...

      I never saw this product, but from what I hear many people say about "Gurus" only trying to suck money out of their wallet and then runaway...I think the idea of killing these people might sound good to them...

      Basically entering the conversation they're having inside their heads.

      And many info products play on the popularity of movie "hits"...this one could very well be using the "Saw" theme

      Damien
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  • Profile picture of the author tommygadget
    This kind of thing appears when so many people are jaded about the claims of MMO products that you feel the need to do this just to stand out.

    TomG.
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    • Profile picture of the author Eric Lorence
      These product names serve to stroke the ego and greed in people, and it works.

      Blockbuster Hollywood names and hype, grab attention better than titles like "Google Explained" (if that were possible).

      Here's one...

      "The Genghis Khan Google Crushers"
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  • Profile picture of the author warner444
    There is a set of people who are attracted to that sort of thing is why those product names exist. Some people like to think of themselves as badass and like to say mofo.

    Everybody has their style and some people ride Harleys and some people ride Vespas.

    The this is all fine unless people use those differences to hate each other or puff themselves up. The Vespa riders call the Harley riders crude meatheads (under their breath) and the Harley riders call the Vespa riders sissies and the world sucks a little more.

    In the end each seller has to decide if their product titles and sales page presentation speaks to the buyers they want to target.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kevin Riley
      We were planning a product in the Labs called Nuclear Annihilation. With one strike, you wipe out all your competition. Sounded good but there was a drawback. Since nukes aren't selective, you also wipe out all your customers. Back to the Devastation Drawing Board.
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      Kevin Riley, long-time Warrior living in Osaka, Japan

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  • Profile picture of the author mainstreetcm
    So would I be crazy to just call my product "A Beginners Guide To Making Money Online -- 20 Step by Step Video Tutorials Inside!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Kevin Riley
      Originally Posted by mainstreetcm View Post

      So would I be crazy to just call my product "A Beginners Guide To Making Money Online -- 20 Step by Step Video Tutorials Inside!"

      Oh no! Way too staid. Here's a re-write (you'll receive my copywriting bill later).

      "A Braindead Zombie Beginner's Ultimate Deathray Conqueror Guide To Pulling Gazillions Of Dollars Off The Internet Every Minute -- 20 Supersized Megatronic Power-Teaching 3-D Video Tutorials With Osmotic Learning System Included"
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      Kevin Riley, long-time Warrior living in Osaka, Japan

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      • Profile picture of the author Bill Farnham
        Originally Posted by Kevin Riley View Post

        "A Braindead Zombie Beginner's Ultimate Deathray Conqueror Guide To Pulling Gazillions Of Dollars Off The Internet Every Minute -- 20 Supersized Megatronic Power-Teaching 3-D Video Tutorials With Osmotic Learning System Included"
        Unless there's a 'turbo' version of this course I'll pass. I need to see the word "turbo" before I'll buy. :rolleyes:

        Btw, how did a one and a half year old thread come back to life...:confused:

        ~Bill
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        • Profile picture of the author Tom B
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Bill Farnham View Post

          Unless there's a 'turbo' version of this course I'll pass. I need to see the word "turbo" before I'll buy. :rolleyes:

          Btw, how did a one and a half year old thread come back to life...:confused:

          ~Bill
          Zombie Postings. New ebook about making money with bring back dead forum posts.
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          • Profile picture of the author Bill Farnham
            Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap View Post

            Zombie Postings. New ebook about making money with bring back dead forum posts.
            Thanks, that explains it

            I notice Zombie appears to be the new catch word. I wonder when "cadaver" will come into vogue...

            ~Bill
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            • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
              Originally Posted by Bill Farnham View Post

              I notice Zombie appears to be the new catch word.
              I think CD started it and now the "gurus" are copying him.
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              Dan's content is irregularly read by handfuls of people. Join the elite few by reading his blog: dcrBlogs.com, following him on Twitter: dcrTweets.com or reading his fiction: dcrWrites.com but NOT by Clicking Here!

              Dan also writes content for hire, but you can't afford him anyway.
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            • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
              Originally Posted by Bill Farnham View Post

              I wonder when "cadaver" will come into vogue...
              Cadaver Blogging... Learn the secrets of the dead blogger. He makes $1,000 a day rotting in his grave. If he can do it, you can too! Make money online, that is. Rotting optional.
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              Dan's content is irregularly read by handfuls of people. Join the elite few by reading his blog: dcrBlogs.com, following him on Twitter: dcrTweets.com or reading his fiction: dcrWrites.com but NOT by Clicking Here!

              Dan also writes content for hire, but you can't afford him anyway.
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          • Profile picture of the author Alfred Shelver
            Alot of this was funny ...but this one made me laugh out loud

            Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap View Post

            Zombie Postings. New ebook about making money with bring back dead forum posts.
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  • Profile picture of the author christopherNV
    Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author mainstreetcm
      Originally Posted by christopherNV View Post

      I think you should go with Affiliate Headhunting : Get Ahead Of The Competition
      Nice! I'm stealing it. Keep it quiet though, I'm a stickler when it comes to paying royalties haha. How'd you think of that anyway? I would have never even imagined a name like that.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by callmestrip View Post

    But somehow these products seem to sell very well...
    ...to men.

    Women, not so much.

    Please, keep ignoring that half of the market. I like not having competition.
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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    • Profile picture of the author Nick Lotter
      [SARCASM]

      Maybe we can should start using those magic emails we get to inspire our marketing efforts too. You know, those ones that come with magic attached.

      For example,

      You could send an email to your list with a nice message and an affiliate link and pictures of angels and things inside, and then tell them that if they don't forward this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

      Always end your email with a couple of fake people you invented who have typed in different fonts and colors saying "I tried this and its real"

      Also, for an additional bonus, add an extra incentive by saying this email is part of a special Microsoft / AOL email program and Bill Gates will send you $5000 or a laptop for every 50 people you forward the email to.

      Be creative people.

      [/SARCASM]
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  • Profile picture of the author christopherNV
    Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
      Why does this happen?

      Because a significant percentage of people in our society think that violent imagery is cool.

      And because we have so much of it floating around that we get desensitized to it. After all, how many times have you seen "a killer sales letter" and stopped to wonder who or what is getting killed?

      Then people decide to up the shock level so the desensitized folks notice it.

      It's sad, in my opinion.

      It shows a remarkable narrowness of imagination.

      Marcia Yudkin
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      Check out Marcia Yudkin's No-Hype Marketing Academy for courses on copywriting, publicity, infomarketing, marketing plans, naming, and branding - not to mention the popular "Marketing for Introverts" course.
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  • Profile picture of the author Online Bliss
    This kind of thing appears when so many people are jaded about the claims of MMO products that you feel the need to do this just to stand out.

    TomG.
    I agree with Tom, They simply want to stand out from the crowd.
    Most products are not aimed at the warrior crowd but newbies.
    In a sea full of marketing products Eye Candy sticks out.

    Heck, some product images look better than their video games.
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  • Profile picture of the author AlexNavas
    This is hilarious, but true. Maybe there will be an opposite crossover. Rather than horror coming to IM, IM going to Horror

    Texting Chainsaw Massacre
    Night Of The Living Domain Names
    The Missing Linkbuilder
    Dr Jekyll & Mr. Hide Your Affiliate Links
    The Killer Google Crawlers From Outer Space
    I Know What You Did Last Teleseminar
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    • Profile picture of the author proactive1
      Originally Posted by AlexNavas View Post

      This is hilarious, but true. Maybe there will be an opposite crossover. Rather than horror coming to IM, IM going to Horror

      Texting Chainsaw Massacre
      Night Of The Living Domain Names
      The Missing Linkbuilder
      Dr Jekyll & Mr. Hide Your Affiliate Links
      The Killer Google Crawlers From Outer Space
      I Know What You Did Last Teleseminar
      And of course...

      Night Of The Living Internet Marketers

      Or, the sci-fi thriller...

      Planet Of The Apps

      Oh sorry, someone's already working on that last one, lol.
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      Chuck Anthony
      "You can always better your best."

      Home Business Hints
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    • Profile picture of the author Tamer
      Originally Posted by AlexNavas View Post

      This is hilarious, but true. Maybe there will be an opposite crossover. Rather than horror coming to IM, IM going to Horror

      Texting Chainsaw Massacre
      Night Of The Living Domain Names
      The Missing Linkbuilder
      Dr Jekyll & Mr. Hide Your Affiliate Links
      The Killer Google Crawlers From Outer Space
      I Know What You Did Last Teleseminar
      LOL,

      Alex.. that was a quality laugh
      Thanks,

      Tamer
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    • Profile picture of the author bigalan6622
      Originally Posted by AlexNavas View Post

      This is hilarious, but true. Maybe there will be an opposite crossover. Rather than horror coming to IM, IM going to Horror

      Texting Chainsaw Massacre
      Night Of The Living Domain Names
      The Missing Linkbuilder
      Dr Jekyll & Mr. Hide Your Affiliate Links
      The Killer Google Crawlers From Outer Space
      I Know What You Did Last Teleseminar
      The Killer Google Crawlers From Outer Space sounds like something about Google eventually taking over the world. You know, like when USA eventually becomes the United States of Google. Oh wait, that's already happening... hahaha
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  • Profile picture of the author MichaelHiles
    IM went to horror quite some time ago.

    But that's a completely different discussion.
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  • Profile picture of the author Imran Naseem
    Banned
    Welcome to Internet Marketing.

    It is all about creating a unique brand/product and position it in the minds of the consumer.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    I've registered this URL to launch my next product but maybe
    the I'm following the wrong trend?

    UltimateGuruKillTwitterAhnihilatorSecretDeathMachi ne.com

    What do you folks think? Have I mis-read the market?
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  • Profile picture of the author mcmahanusa
    "Guillotine Marketing" Keeping one chop ahead of the competition.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fun to Write
    Invasion of the Google Snatchers

    Hey wait a minute . . .

    What am I DOING in this thread?
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  • Profile picture of the author Online Bliss
    This is hilarious, but true. Maybe there will be an opposite crossover. Rather than horror coming to IM, IM going to Horror

    Texting Chainsaw Massacre
    Night Of The Living Domain Names
    The Missing Linkbuilder
    Dr Jekyll & Mr. Hide Your Affiliate Links
    The Killer Google Crawlers From Outer Space
    I Know What You Did Last Teleseminar
    I See Dead People.
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    You've got it Made
    with the Guy in the Shades!
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  • Profile picture of the author kswr123
    COMING TO A NEWSLETTER NEAR YOU:

    THE CLICKBANK CHAINSAW MASSACRE

    Watch as clickbank is brutally beaten, cut, bruised and mutilated in front of your very eyes. Then, as easy as pie, STEAL all of clickbank's money, just like that.

    Rated S for Scam
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