How to Close Your Warrior Forum Account

It seems that, from time to time, people may wish to close their Warrior Forum account. Maybe they've gotten rich and retired to an exotic locale and won't be visiting the forum anymore; maybe they've lost interest in Internet marketing; or, maybe, Paul Myers gave them the "evil eye" and they feel the need to make themselves disappear. Or, maybe we embarrass them.

Whatever the case, the question comes up from time to time, so, based on my years of experience here, I thought I'd do my bit to help. Now, considering that countless studies have shown people prefer lists over easy answers, I've put together this list of methods for getting your account closed.

1) Contact the Help Desk and ask them to close your account.

2) Open a second account. Open a thread and start a conversation amongst your two accounts. Be sure to go back and forth thanking each of your personalities. Since you're not allowed to have multiple accounts, this will likely get both accounts banned. You could also open a WSO and have the second account praise the product offered by the first account. That'll get your accounts closed too. But, that option costs forty bucks.

3) Start spamming threads like a madman.

4) Start new threads in the wrong sections. Talk about PPC in the Main Forum and go into the Copywriting forum to talk about link sharing. Be creative. When your threads get deleted or moved, open a post in the Main Forum asking why your threads keep getting moved or deleted. Use ALL CAPS.

5) Contact the Help Desk to have your name changed to some fictional name no one would ever associate with you. That way, when people stumble across old posts of yours, instead of seeing that you were a Warrior Forum member and, thus, obviously a scammer of some sort, they'll just see someone named Ooga Booga Marketering instead and have no idea you were ever here. Bonus points if you actually stick around and post under your Ooga Booga Marketering name.

6) Post on some well-known anti-WF sites. Leave inflammatory comments. Write guest posts. Do it in ALL CAPS. Make sure your Warrior Forum name is prominent so that it gets attention.

7) Send a bunch of PMs begging people to send you money to pay your rent or hospital bills or to buy some really fancy shoelaces you've had your eye on. Be sure to pick people likely to report you.

8) Start threads with ideas on how the moderators should run the forum. Start a new thread every hour. Save copies on your computer so you can repost them if they get deleted.

9) Put affiliate links in your signature. When the moderators delete them, put them in again. Use a big font or a non-standard font. Use different colors. When your signature privileges are suspended, start a thread in the Main Forum about it. Use ALL CAPS.

10) Go eat something. Something sticky and crunchy, like perhaps a peanut butter (crunchy, not smooth) and jelly sandwich. Make sure the peanut butter is thick--a minimum of 1/4" (that's 6.35 mm for those still using the metric system). The more, the better. Measure it, if necessary. While eating, make a video of yourself offering comments on making money in Internet marketing. Post the finished videos on YouTube. Post these videos as replies to different threads in the Main Forum. Bonus points if you have dentures and they occasionally fall out while filming.

Any of these methods will allow you to get your account terminated. Some are less work than others, but you can take your pick.