Critique my landing page. comments needed

monitorit · 08-20-2008, 04:40 PM

Hi take a look at my acne landing review page and please post your opinion, its on Home as this is its temp home whilst being reviewed im currently enabling its new domain which is more relevant.

Thanks

distinctionsforlife · 08-20-2008, 04:48 PM

You need a better headline. I'm not sure what you've got even qualifies. How about something like:

"Is is really possible to be acne free in 3 days?"

Followed by yes it is.

Then prove it to me. Testimonials would be best.

"what it says on the tin"

What does this mean?

napoleonfirst · 08-20-2008, 07:59 PM

You need a more catching headline. Get emails of your visitors.

Rob Canyon · 08-20-2008, 08:08 PM

Chris,

If its an opt in page its too long and if its a sales letter its too short.

WOW. My Fox Houston is big time in the social proof/credibility dept.

I'd tend to want to get it above the fold.

Cheers,

Rob

Corwinnx · 08-20-2008, 08:12 PM

Hi there,

You don't have a headline or header graphic
Really really don't like the 'gray' background
and where's your opti-in form?

Marcus

Jose Delgado · 08-20-2008, 08:17 PM

You need a better headline for sure.

Check your spelling...

And also, If that is a "Review" site,

Post some negative points too. (Pros and Cons.)

You're just praising that thing. Which makes it NOT believable.

08-20-2008, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monitorit

Hi take a look at my acne landing review page and please post your opinion, its on Home as this is its temp home whilst being reviewed im currently enabling its new domain which is more relevant.

Thanks

I agree with everyone above my reply.

You need a better headline...

If that's a video, move it above the fold and swap it with your ebook on the left side of the page.

Place a contact form to the right of your video- also above the fold...

Place your ebook just under your contact form- also above the fold...

Contact a web designer and upgrade your ebook/ecover graphic...

The purpose of a landing page is to capture the visitors name and phone number only-not to make a sale. That said, eliminate the price and relocate it to your sales letter.

Lastly, your background is too dark. Gray is fine but, consider a much lighter shade.

I hope this helps...

Have a wonderful day!

Peace...

p.s. send me a PM if you'd like a reference for an excellent web designer.

jhongren · 08-20-2008, 11:15 PM

Hi, good effort for the attempt. I think it would be good to model after successful landing page in your niche. You can find them from clickbank.com

Cheers,
John

valerieSONORA · 08-20-2008, 11:21 PM

Good start, but it needs some work to be more appealing.
I would look at other review sites you like and get some ideas.

monitorit · 08-21-2008, 06:00 AM

I have edited my landing page please let me know what you think.

Sarah Harvey · 08-21-2008, 06:05 AM

Overall the text is the main problem on the site. There is no consistency.

Bold text like that actually looks unprofessional like someone just did it on a free webhost.

Get a nice font that is clean and consistent.

LivingCovers · 08-21-2008, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marcanthony

Contact a web designer and upgrade your ebook/ecover graphic...

The purpose of a landing page is to capture the visitors name and phone number only-not to make a sale. That said, eliminate the price and relocate it to your sales letter.

Lastly, your background is too dark. Gray is fine but, consider a much lighter shade.

You have to do something about your ecover report. It doesn't look professional nor catchy. You can have a look at the ones in my portfolio,

EcoversAlive.com: Giving 'Life' To Your Ecovers Like Never Before...

and let me know if they are exactly what you'd like placed in your capture page. Matching headers are also included.

Olatunde.

08-20-2008, 04:40 PM	#1
monitorit Advanced Warrior Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: , , . Posts: 658 Thanks: 3 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	Critique my landing page. comments needed Hi take a look at my acne landing review page and please post your opinion, its on Home as this is its temp home whilst being reviewed im currently enabling its new domain which is more relevant. Thanks

08-20-2008, 04:48 PM	#2
distinctionsforlife Warrior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Kingwood, TX, USA Posts: 22 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed You need a better headline. I'm not sure what you've got even qualifies. How about something like: "Is is really possible to be acne free in 3 days?" Followed by yes it is. Then prove it to me. Testimonials would be best. "what it says on the tin" What does this mean?
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08-20-2008, 07:59 PM	#3
napoleonfirst Advanced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 916 Thanks: 20 Thanked 24 Times in 23 Posts Contact Info	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed You need a more catching headline. Get emails of your visitors.

08-20-2008, 08:08 PM	#4
Rob Canyon HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Collingwood, Ontario Canada Posts: 284 Thanks: 44 Thanked 24 Times in 20 Posts	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed Chris, If its an opt in page its too long and if its a sales letter its too short. WOW. My Fox Houston is big time in the social proof/credibility dept. I'd tend to want to get it above the fold. Cheers, Rob
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08-20-2008, 08:12 PM	#5
Corwinnx Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida Posts: 853 Blog Entries: 7 Thanks: 108 Thanked 172 Times in 81 Posts	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed Hi there, You don't have a headline or header graphic Really really don't like the 'gray' background and where's your opti-in form? Marcus

08-20-2008, 08:17 PM	#6
Jose Delgado ★★★★★ War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,319 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 25 Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed You need a better headline for sure. Check your spelling... And also, If that is a "Review" site, Post some negative points too. (Pros and Cons.) You're just praising that thing. Which makes it NOT believable.

08-20-2008, 11:15 PM	#8
jhongren JohnYeo.name War Room Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Singapore Posts: 2,639 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 454 Thanked 237 Times in 123 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed Hi, good effort for the attempt. I think it would be good to model after successful landing page in your niche. You can find them from clickbank.com Cheers, John
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08-20-2008, 11:21 PM	#9
valerieSONORA formerly annoyedgirl War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA. Posts: 1,337 Thanks: 161 Thanked 183 Times in 122 Posts Social Networking	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed Good start, but it needs some work to be more appealing. I would look at other review sites you like and get some ideas.
	Don't be defined by someone else's opinion of you. All I really need are minions. فاليري

08-21-2008, 06:00 AM	#10
monitorit Advanced Warrior Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: , , . Posts: 658 Thanks: 3 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	EDITED PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I have edited my landing page please let me know what you think.

08-21-2008, 06:05 AM	#11
Sarah Harvey Chaos-Incarnate Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: United Kingdom. Posts: 347 Thanks: 0 Thanked 33 Times in 29 Posts Contact Info	Re: Critique my landing page. comments needed Overall the text is the main problem on the site. There is no consistency. Bold text like that actually looks unprofessional like someone just did it on a free webhost. Get a nice font that is clean and consistent.
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