Do you feel guilty for your success/or possible success?

23 replies
It just occurred to me...

Perhaps a 'barrier' to some people being successful is perhaps they feel guilty about it... Many catholic schools (incorrectly) teach certain values about money (i.e., forgetting to say that the "love" of money can cause problems, or talking about "giving away all your possessions", but not putting in the proper context)... most north americans born & raised in n.a. have probably gone through the Catholic system...

So...

1. If you did feel guilty for your success, how did you get over it?
2. If you currently feel guilty, perhaps analyze/figure out where that is coming from, and you'll be able to overcome it...
#feel #guilty #success #success or or
  • Profile picture of the author ArthurRose
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    • Profile picture of the author Danc1122
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      • Profile picture of the author PaulLivingston
        I was raised strict Catholic and don't recall being taught anything negative about making money.

        However, I do think that recently, in U.S. society, it is popular to spread the belief that people with money...

        • Cheated
        • Stole
        • Were born into it
        • Got unfair breaks
        • Were just lucky
        • Ripped other people off
        etc, etc...

        Don't believe me? Just look back on how in the early 1900's people like Rockefeller were idolized as heroes. And look now at how people feel about Bill Gates. He didn't earn anything...he stole and swindled his way to the top. How do people type "Microsoft?" Micro$oft. As if there's something wrong with it.

        I heard a speech by Edward Kennedy once. When he mentioned "the rich," his face was red, he shook his fist and pounded the podium. He said 'rich' as if it were a dirty word. (He was probably the richest guy in the room.)

        IMHO, this is designed to create class envy and convince people they are stuck where they are. Don't worry, the government will take care of you.

        Frankly, I want the government to stay the hell away from me. I'll take care of myself, thank you. And I'm gonna do that by making as much $$$ as I can.

        But that's just me.
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    • Profile picture of the author Raydal
      Originally Posted by ArthurRose View Post

      No, never. Religion thought that to people so they do not try to raise above their level and can be kept in control. Those times are over. Religion was just a tool realized for power over the people by leaders.
      Talk about a broad statement! Whoa! Which religion did this?
      Everybody has a religion. Even if you reject all "religion" then
      your region is "antireligion"

      -Ray Edwards
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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        Originally Posted by Raydal View Post

        Talk about a broad statement! Whoa! Which religion did this?
        Everybody has a religion. Even if you reject all "religion" then
        your region is "antireligion"

        -Ray Edwards
        I completely agree Ray. Broad and cynical statement. Religion can be a wonderful and liberating thing. And I personally have a lot of respect for Christians because for me that's one of the more challenging religions.
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        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author ashleybaker
    No, we choose to go down this route because we all have a interest in lets face it, money.

    However, thats not to say I don't donate to charities often, because I do, and it certainly keeps me going. Hand pick your small maybe even local charity and help them out!

    However, for lottery winners etc, I would feel guilty, because its given to you on a plate!
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      Originally Posted by ashleybaker View Post

      No, we choose to go down this route because we all have a interest in lets face it, money.

      However, thats not to say I don't donate to charities often, because I do, and it certainly keeps me going. Hand pick your small maybe even local charity and help them out!

      However, for lottery winners etc, I would feel guilty, because its given to you on a plate!
      Howdy! How's it going? Good to see you here, Ashley

      I wouldn't even feel guilty if I won a lottery ticket. I would feel extremely grateful and I would spread the wealth around with family, friends, and certain charities.

      I think most of us have had these limiting beliefs ingrained in us by society. It feels wonderful not to feel bad about having money, to embrace the prosperity that the Universe/God/ has intended for all of us. We are meant to enjoy life's bounty. The moment we truly believe that, our situation will change to reflect it. If you feel guilty about having money, I will guarantee you that whatever money you get will disappear fast, and you will never be able to hold onto prosperity.

      I have a very dear friend who has said to me many times that money is evil. Guess what? Her family are always broke. Yes, they are rich in love, but they always have financial stress. And that is not a good life. Because being broke all the time is preventing them from being the best that they can be and experiencing all that they can of life.

      Money is not evil. It is what people do with money that can be evil. When people use money to enrich their lives and the lives of family, friends, and others, it is good. Very good. Money is energy. It flows in and out of your life like the tide. Enjoy it, use it for the good of all, and don't feel at all guilty about it.
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    There are many people who are in online business that do not believe they are worthy of massive financial success...

    ... and that's one of the major reasons why many people sabotage themselves by succumbing to not having or then getting a plan or online business model which leads to info-overload and confusion but I'm not one of them.

    TL
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    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

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    • Profile picture of the author Jim Hallmark
      Actually this is a very common problem but not always recognized. Our conditioning from childhood on plays a huge role in how we respond to things in life.

      If for example a parent always said "Rich people are greedy" or "To make alot of money you have to screw people" their thoughts influenced you even if on a subconcious level.

      Other thoughts that can come up are "I can't make more money that my parents" or "How can I make a lot of money with so many people in poverty." The list in endless.

      Now obviously we can answer most of these objections logically but that is the rub. Our conditioning is embedded on a suboncious level that causes us to respond more from emotion rather than logic.

      Many times we are unaware that these experiences keep us where we are financially. We become "comfortable" where we are at and can sometimes subconciously feel like that is where we belong.

      Obviously the first step is in doing an inventory to see if there may be hidden aspects that keep us blocked financially and then taking action to remove them.

      Recognition is the key, otherwise we continue along the same path we are on, oblivious to the financial cost our conditioning can have on us.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gimme4Free
    I personally am not religous and see it as a setback to other people having to rely on something.
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  • Profile picture of the author freecashman
    The only success to feel guilty about is the kind that comes from the abuse of others. Other than that, life is for living it up, and prosperity and success make that possible. No guilt, just good feelings.
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    • Profile picture of the author futuredan
      You should never feel guilty if you are selling really good quality stuff. Having said that I sometimes feel guilty about some marketing techniques, like scarcity (even if it's genuine, as it should be) that make people buy anxiously rather than with careful thought...
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  • Profile picture of the author steve305
    Steve Robison here.

    If a person feels guilty about being successful, that person needs to go back and join the 95% who simply want 'a job'.

    The 95% who simply want 'a job', would never have 'a job', if it were not for the 5% who are out there creating commerce.

    Never feel guilty about creating honest, productive business. You are feeding the masses.

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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    Sometimes I feel undeserving of success because I've spent a lot of my time dealing with failure. Fortunately I've pretty much solved that problem and now I mostly feel deserving of success. Because I've been patient and put a lot of work into becoming a better person. I've made leaps and bounds in personal progress. And when I see something that I want I think: "Yeah I deserve that too."

    For me money is a tool to be used. They say that knowledge is power and I think that money is power too. You can use that power to do great things like improving people's lives, helping people in need, and even saving people's lives. Think about that. The possibilities are endless. I'm planning on making $10 Million by the time I'm 30-35 which I think is reasonable and I'm going to use a massive percentage of my wealth to help people. With that kind of money maybe I'll even be able to set up a foundation. We'll see.

    Mark Victor Hansen's life purpose has been documented as: "To create and inspire one million millionaires to each give $1 Million to their Church or charity." And I think that's a good way of looking at money. Remember, it's what you do with your wealth that counts. You can start helping people right now by tithing or donating a percentage of your income.
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    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Moffatt
    The first time I made $50,000 in a day, I felt a bit weird about it. Kinda sad actually

    Don't ask me why, I just did. I felt like I had done something wrong. It just seemed way too easy and I wasn't sure if I deserved it. Of course I did nothing wrong and provided killer value, but it still seemed so odd to me.

    I grew up frowning upon those with money.

    When I moved into a house worth more then $2,000,000 million dollars, I really felt more at home when I lived in a small shack. Once again, I had to question whether or not I really deserved it.

    I'm still a bit confused as to why I feel this way. If I didn't have this limitation I'm confident I'd be making much more then most of my buddies, but I'm pretty content with just being kinda rich.

    Maybe one day I'll go for the gusto.
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    • Profile picture of the author R Hagel
      I'm quoting Jason's post here, but the "you" in my reply mainly refers to the collective you, not Jason personally...

      Onward --

      Originally Posted by Jason Moffatt View Post

      I'm still a bit confused as to why I feel this way. If I didn't have this limitation I'm confident I'd be making much more then most of my buddies, but I'm pretty content with just being kinda rich.
      I think some of the other comments here touched on why you -- and indeed, lots of people -- feel this way. (Paul and Jim had great comments, among others.)

      Just spend some time thinking back to comments you heard growing up. Or even think about comments you hear now. Like you're sitting with your buddies having a beer, and someone says something about another friend who's not there... something like, "did you see Joe's new car?"

      But it's not a casual question. The question has a certain "tone" to it that's instantly recognizable. That tone that says, "Who the hell does Joe think he is? Buying new cars, flaunting his money... he thinks he's better than us!"

      Later on Joe joins the group, and someone asks, "So who did you have to kill to get that car?"


      Point is, we hear stuff like this all the time. A little comment here, a little comment there -- individually it doesn't mean much, but when you add up a lifetime of hearing these comments (with that "tone"), you come to believe there's something wrong with having money.

      Cheers,
      Becky
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        Banned
        Good point Rebecca. Although I can never remember anyone saying anything like that. Probably because I ignore that stuff. Being a woman could mean that you pay more attention to it.

        People can think what they want. I have a step Father who believes that business is all about money and "cheating" people. And there's a certain amount of quiet, non-conversational satisfaction knowing that's he's completely wrong.
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        • Profile picture of the author keyaziz
          When me and my boyfriend created our own products we intitially started to doubt them...I don't know why - we were really happy with what we had done because we had worked hard, and then suddenly we felt like they weren't good enough. Then when we started to get sales and great feedback and no refunds we felt great..but we knew this would happen anyway, we just doubted for a little bit.

          It;s weird and I definitely believe its how you are brought up. If you are punished or don't get to fully express your feelings when younger you become a dweller. Dwelling on something can leasd to negative thoughts, putting yourself and it becomes a part of who you are. If you aren't given the opportunity to get over it, it stays in your memory.

          We are doing well and are successful but aren't right way we want to be. We have started addressing these issues that hold us back and are seeing more and more progress.

          You really do need to have confidence in yourself and potentially take opportunities you wouldn't if you lacked that confidence.
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    • Profile picture of the author Raydal
      Originally Posted by Jason Moffatt View Post

      The first time I made $50,000 in a day, I felt a bit weird about it. Kinda sad actually

      Don't ask me why, I just did. I felt like I had done something wrong. It just seemed way too easy and I wasn't sure if I deserved it. Of course I did nothing wrong and provided killer value, but it still seemed so odd to me.

      I grew up frowning upon those with money.

      When I moved into a house worth more then $2,000,000 million dollars, I really felt more at home when I lived in a small shack. Once again, I had to question whether or not I really deserved it.

      I'm still a bit confused as to why I feel this way. If I didn't have this limitation I'm confident I'd be making much more then most of my buddies, but I'm pretty content with just being kinda rich.

      Maybe one day I'll go for the gusto.
      I don't think this feeling is unique to you. It is the human condition.
      It is the ANTICLIMAX that comes from attaining a goal and wondering
      why you didn't feel better. You thought that it would be more exciting
      and lasting than it was.

      It happens to ALL of us whether we admit it or not. It's not a verdict
      against money, riches, fame etc. It's just that all these things have
      their place EXCEPT they don't really satisfy the soul.

      Work hard. Live joyfully. Serve others. But don't expect these things
      to do what they were not designed to do.

      -Ray Edwards
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      The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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      • Profile picture of the author Johnathan
        Hi Ray,

        Actually I'd have to disagree with you here.

        I wouldn't say that it is true of all people. It may be true in some cases, but in many cases people do 'feel bad' about being 'too' successful.

        Originally Posted by Raydal View Post

        I don't think this feeling is unique to you. It is the human condition.
        It is the ANTICLIMAX that comes from attaining a goal and wondering
        why you didn't feel better. You thought that it would be more exciting
        and lasting than it was.

        It happens to ALL of us whether we admit it or not. It's not a verdict
        against money, riches, fame etc. It's just that all these things have
        their place EXCEPT they don't really satisfy the soul.

        Work hard. Live joyfully. Serve others. But don't expect these things
        to do what they were not designed to do.

        -Ray Edwards
        Signature
        Make money from writing, find out how now.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jason Moffatt
        Originally Posted by Raydal View Post


        It happens to ALL of us whether we admit it or not. It's not a verdict
        against money, riches, fame etc. It's just that all these things have
        their place EXCEPT they don't really satisfy the soul.

        Work hard. Live joyfully. Serve others. But don't expect these things
        to do what they were not designed to do.

        -Ray Edwards
        Totally.

        I think that I've experienced so much joy and abundance from other things in my life that any monetary gain really couldn't even compare. And when the money came, it failed in comparison to more important things that brought true value into my life.
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  • Profile picture of the author DennisM
    Hey Jason,

    Those are normal feelings. I don't know if you're aware but Warren Buffet (Now the world's richest person) lives in his original ranch house in Omaha, NE and STILL brown bags his lunch every day to the office.

    Regards,
    Dennis
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  • Sometimes money is everything, sometimes with friends I could throw my wallet in the trash and not care, it's up and down.

    When your flush, it's never as good as it seems, and when your down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on...

    I only feel guilty when I realize most of my friends are still doing the college grind, and I can go weeks without doing a lick of work and still earn great money.

    But I feel that either I got lucky enough, was smart enough, or put in enough work to be here, so it doesn't cross my mind often.

    Good thread
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    Money isn't real, George. It doesn't matter. It only seems like it does.

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  • I believe warren also still drives his old Lincoln continental, but I could be wrong.
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    Money isn't real, George. It doesn't matter. It only seems like it does.

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  • Profile picture of the author uniteklasers
    Yes, I often come up against this irrational fear of financial success. I didn't grow up with religion though, so I'm not sure where it came from. I think it's more indirect perhaps, having more to do with other beliefs that I have. Maybe that if I'm too successful I can abuse my power or harm others? That's the closest I can come up with so far.
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