email subject lines that suck

Hey Loren,

Unfortunately without tracking, you can't be sure it's your subject line that sucked.

You don't know your delivered rate and your open rate, so how will you actually know if it was your subject line that bombed? It could be that your email didn't resonate with your readers or they were turned off by how you described the link.

Did you track your landing page? Again, it's possible they landed on your page but just didn't opt in.

There are many things that could have gone wrong, but if you don't track you won't be able to pinpoint it. Lesson isn't that you suck at writing headlines, the lesson is to track your marketing.

Also, use Aweber - They track everything meticulously. Gotta love'em.

- Derek

Hey Loren,

What about using a "cliffhanger"

subject:
"I don't really suck at guitar but you...

[email]
Would be surprised how long I struggled at getting [!specific guitar skill here] down pat.

Yeah, it's funny looking back at it considering how naturally it comes to
me now without even thinking about it, but for whatever reason, it seemed like one of those things I just couldn't 'break through' for awhile.

When asking a lot of my friends who play or are just getting started,
they told me it was one of the hardest challenges with their playing too.

But you're actually not going to have to struggle with that like we did
because I created a video that shows a little "shortcut" for doing
[!guitar skill here] that will have you [!guitar skill here]'n with the best of them like you'd been doing it for years.

Go ahead and check it out now...

and if you like the results,

be sure to check out this special offer I've created just for

my subscribers and customers that has a whole set

of these 'shortcuts' for just about every [!guitar skills] challenge

you'll face...and believe me, you WILL face them.

Here's the link to check out the video and remember to
take a look at the special offer I've prepared for you too.

(I think you'll like it ;-)

Until next time,
Loren
************************************************** ****

That way, when you see the subject line,
it's got that curiosity building "but" and then what really
sets me over the edge is seeing the you

It makes me think,

"But ME what? Is he saying I suck? He better NOT be saying that! I'm going to open just to see what he's talking about!"

And then once I open I see you've taken the time

to obliterate the very barrier I was struggling to get the hang of.

Not only that, but you've provided me a shortcut for every conceivable

struggle I'm likely to face and even gave me a taste or sampling

with this first video to whet my appetite, build desire and anticipation.

That one would get me every time.

Got to go now, someone just sent me an email with a similar set up
and I've just got to see what's on the other side

dont try to sound negative, it has to inviting and believable

Cliffhangers can be important... but ultimately, you want your readers to feel like they know you. Tie that in with cliffhangers every now and then.

"actually, I don't suck at guitar"

Re read that over and over and let the negativity resonate, so you'll never do it again.

This one I learned from Mike Filsaime... use parenthesis around your subject line in some of your emails (but not all). He ran a test and found that a substantial amount of subscribers open emails with parenthesis before they open ones without.

You seem to be on the right track though, after all - you're the one who identified your mistake in the first place!

I think the "I don't suck at guitar ... " line comes across as negative in tone.

"Do you suck at guitar?" would be more inviting to me (cause I DO kinda suck at guitar!)

Thanks for the input. It's not a guitar-niche list at all.
Anyhow - I did have tracking on the other end that shows
a bit of activity on the URL itself.

Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought - I was looking at
the AWstats - showed about a 3% clickthrough rate -
which doesn't have me jumping up and down but it's
not out of line considering a lot of subs have been on the
lists for years.

Must be the offer? no.

Anyway - things like this are not always bad - they have
a cumulative affect of engaging subs, even if I sometimes
do a lousy job of getting any action.

I'm trying things out - that's all.

Loren,

So what, you had a dud... everyone has an off day. (Thanks for the useful thread tho... some great discussions going on here.)

The subject line left me more confused rather than curious... I didn't really know what you were talking about... should I think, well I guess this guy doesn't suck at guitar... so what? or should I think, this guy is replying to something I said online about him sucking at guitar? I don't even go to any guitar forums, and I have never said that this dude sucks... it must be spam.

I was confused, not curious. When I am confused about an email, I usually delete it without opening. Spam headlines usually confuse me, so they go right to the trash.

At least you didn't completely offend anyone and end up having half of your list unsubscribe...

Don't be this guy:

http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...ect-lines.html

Jared

Thanks for posting that I've learn more from what you did. I can see that a cliff hanger might be a better way of writing your subject line.

And yeah, this one is horrible.

The overall thing I'm working on here is to build more
affinity. For years I've had subscribers discovering I
play music and asking about it because they play too...

It's a powerful affinity factor. I've never put any of
my music stuff online because I don't know much about
recording - I'll be changing that in the coming future
because of a video product I'm working on where
original music makes sense - (mixture of techno and
Flamenco, more or less).

But also - portraying my life and activities in a more
well-rounded way is something I've been thinking about
for awhile... after all what are the major benefits of
working from home on the internet?

...other than getting rich, I mean...

It's that you can have a lot of freedom when you figure
it out - to stay up late playing out, fool around during
normal working hours, drink on the job - which I'll
admit sometimes greases the old engine once in awhile
when the words aren't flowing well.

Anyway, this furtive attempt to interest a list of
"make money" subscribers is my eccentric hobbies may
or may not be appropriate marketing. What I do know
is that it may be more fun for me to do it this way so I'm
giving it a shot.

a tool that can be used not for email subject lines, but also for copy headlines is: Advanced Marketing Institute - Headline Analyzer.

Veterans of IM may already know about this free tool, but for newbies especially, it can be helpful.

I want to make sure I am a giver and not only a taker. I learned about this from another newbie, so I thought I would pass it on.

At least it didn't sat %%FIRSTNAME_FIX%%, I suck at guitar LOL

Make it a point to run the mail through some kind of spam checker before you mail. I use lyris's free tool

ContentChecker anti-spam utility from Lyris

-James

Sometimes if I'm not sure whether or not an email will pass spam filters, once it runs through aWeber's spam checker (assuming you use AW), I also run it through XMail Write - www.xmailwrite.com (free - just have to give them your name and email but after a couple basic mails they don't contact you anymore). It checks for things that might set off a spam filter.

Hope this helps!

(edit) - The email subject line I hate most of all, beyond (so-and-so is in the hospital) was one I got once that was something like "Your [mother/husband/etc] has been in a terrible accident"