Another 1,000 posts in the books: how about a story?

So, another 1,000 posts down. That was a lot faster than last time, eh ? Unfortunately, I haven't really had any profound realizations or learned any IM "secrets" to share with you. I'm still doing what I was doing at post 1,000, and I'm happy with that.

What I can offer however, is a story from my childhood. My pappy used to tell it to me every night after I spent the day running around the fields and hills of New England.

You might find some parallels to what some "IMers" are dealing with today . Hopefully one of those who is facing a slapped down business can heed the lesson that I took from it as a little boy...

Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Internetiah, there lived a talented young man by the name of Johnny Marqueteer. Johnny grew up in a village of farmers; but knew that he was destined for something more. At the age of 9, a nobleman had visited the town and told Johnny tales of the fabled entrepreneurs. These larger than life men earned their living by helping the people of the world solve their many problems.

The idea enthralled Johnny, and although his parents tried to raise him in the ways of the village, Johnny knew that he was destined to be something more. On his 18th birthday (much to his parents disappointment), he announced that he was setting off for the bustling town of Googlia to make his fortune as an entrepreneur.

Knowing that he could not prevent his son from following his dreams, Papa Marqueteer instead gave his son the only advice he could: "Give the people what they want, Johnny. Help them. If you worry about the people first, success will come."

Johnny wasn't paying attention though, as he was eager to begin his trip. "Sure, sure Dad." he replied. He gave both of his parents a quick hug, and was off to begin his brand new life as an entreprenuer.

[At this point, Johnny engages in many exciting adventures on the way to Googlia, including a fight with a dragon. Sounds boring, right? We'll just skip that part over.]

Upon arriving in Googlia though, poor Johnny realized that things were not going to be all fun and games. For weeks, he tried to find the prime spot to set up shop, and to find the perfect service to offer the people. After being kicked out of another occupied spot, poor Johnny resigned himself to moping on a street corner.

It was here that Johnny was confronted by two strange men: Sean E. Optimizerman and GUs RUsterson. They told Johnny how they had watched him struggle for weeks, and how they had all the answers he was looking for.

Thinking he had found his saviors, Johnny went along with everything they said. For a small cut of his profits, Sean set him up with the best storefront in town (although he would never directly answer how he got it). Gus fashioned a product for him to sell, and although Johnny felt a twinge of guilt when he saw the lack of quality, he still went ahead and sold it.

Things went well for Johnny the next few months. He truly believed he was on his way to becoming a true entrepreneur. That is, until the day that Googlia's sheriff Cat Mutts came into the store. He explained that countless citizens had gone to the mayor complaining about the poor quality of the shops in town (with Johnny's being mentioned more than others), and that the mayor had been forced to draft the Panda decree. Johnny was to be immediately evicted from his store and sent away from Googlia until he could provide something of value to the citizens.

Sitting on a log outside of town, Johnny was seriously considering going home and resigning to his fate as a farmer. Just as he was about to set off, Sean E. Optimizerman came running towards him. It seemed that Sean had a plan to get Johnny back in his store. As he walked back to town square, Johnny was met with a horrifying sight. A gang of barbarians was ravaging the town, chasing the citizens out of their homes and stores. Sean gleefully proclaimed them his "backlink army", and told Johnny he was free to reopen his store.

Although he felt slightly guilty about the way he had regained his store, Johnny was happy to be getting sales again and did not think much of the men, even though they stayed around town causing trouble.

It turned out that Johnny's reemergence would be short lived though. After a few months of solitude, Sheriff Mutts came back into the town to reclaim it for his citizens. The backlink army laughed at him. There was no way that one man could defeat their entire gang! What did he think he was going to do?

As if to answer their question, hundreds of black and white clad men popped up on all of the roofs in the town square, their bows and arrows fixated on the backlinkers. They were surrounded and heavily outnumbered; but still they tried to fight. "For the easy rankings and sales" they screamed as they prepared to attack.

Unfortunately, getting worked up was the last thing they would ever do. The self proclaimed "Penguin Squad" made quick work of the gangsters, and Mutts retook the town square within minutes. With the help of the Penguin Squad, Johnny, Sean, and GUs were quickly and forcibly removed from Googlia, this time for good.

The three found themselves once again moping on the outskirts of town. GUs eventually stood up, deciding that he was done peddling crap products and was going to pursue his real dream of being a ballet dancer. "We didn't need him" Sean muttered, "I've got a new plan to retake Googlia. Just you and me pal."

But Johnny had had enough. He did not come to Googlia to be a gangster, he just wanted to be an honest entrepreneur, to make the world a better place, and yes to make money while doing it. He socked Optimizerman right in the face and set off on a new path of his own.

As he wondered what would happen to him next, Johnny suddenly heard the voice of his father, as if it was being carried by the wind. "Give the people what they want, Johnny. Help them. If you worry about the people first, success will come." Of course, it made perfect sense! How did Johnny not realize it before!

Now that he knew the way forward, Johnny made his way to the coast and rented a boat, intent on reaching the shores of the Kwality Continent. He now knew what he had to do.



Well, there ya go! Exactly how it was told to me at age 5, I swear! Just in case some people still can't get the message, I bolded, italicized, and underlined it for you.