What's WRONG with my Squeeze Page?

Hi buddy,

It's simple and clean but maybe too simple and clean, add a picture or two to brighten it up and I'm not too sure the purpose of showing screenshots. It's A good idea but looks a little bit messy. Just my thoughts

Ya, remove the screenshots and see if it improves opt-in rate. Remember for a squeeze page, if visitors don't think they can read everything on the squeeze page in 10 seconds, they are likely to go away. Having all those screenshots may give the impression that there's a lot to read on the squeeze page, reducing opt-in rate.

i agree, i don't think the screen shots add anything esp b/c you cannot click on them. also, testimonials are good to have on opt in pages. give them as much information as you can up front without giving away your secret.

I've removed the screenshots and added an image to liven it up a bit and am just getting a fe testimonials from people who read the guide to add beneath the optin form.

"Enough recipes to cover a busy mon-fri week"...

OK, so lets think about that logically... thats what? 5 recipes total?
I wouldn't want the book either after reading that, "Yay!! I get 5 whole new recipes!"

Just don't see people being excited about that when they can get 5000 recipes off google in a minute. You need to explain WHAT makes these recipes so valuable to people, rather than just focusing on volume or types of recipes.

Here is another thing you are advertising things that just SOUND far too available already to the public. Like lunchbox recipes, breakfast and snack ideas, this isn't something most people consider valuable enough to give their email for.

All they have to do is type into google "breakfast recipes" or "snack ideas" and they'll get ultra refined, super long lists, instead of a 16 page guide they need to read through just to find the good recipes (or so it seems that way - perception is important imo).

I also don't like the headline. Why? Because I'm one who's actually been in shape my whole life. The reason most people are actually fed up with diets, is NOT because so many diets don't work, but because so many PEOPLE don't put the work into it.

I think something that truely motivated people, would have a more powerful effect. Like "Learn how millions of people are finding the motivation to finally get in shape!"

Now THAT would seem like a compelling headline to me. I could be wrong who knows.
I just think you need to really pump the value perception of what you're offering. Make it seem less common, rare, not as easy to get as it seems. Make the headline stronger, ad some social proof too. Lastly, I actually suggest you TAKE OUT the guide. DO NOT show the entire thing to people, that kind defeats the purpose of them wanting to give their email right?

Post a few snippets of teaser copy, not the whole kittenkaboodle so to speak.
Where are you getting traffic for this right now? You should probably post it all over diet forums, but I'd say make it a lot stronger first, more percieved value.

Good luck! - Red

RedShifted, I appreciate the time you put into analysing each section so thanks. I'm going to crack on with everything you have said, tackling each element of it, one by one.

Again, thanks!

The one thing no one has mentioned that is incredibly important is the source of the traffic. Who are they? Where are they coming from? What's their pain?

Starting with your target market and identifying their pain is the number one step in writing copy and creating a compelling offer.

As far as the headline and copy that's currently on your page, it's not bad... it could probably be better... but it's not bad.

It still goes back to your "who". Who is it your selling to and is the traffic that's coming to your page good traffic for your offer?

Thanks. I'll definitely look into all of that as well. Thanks a lot Duston and LExi.

Nice one Rashell. I appreciate your help.

Is your traffic qualified?

I mean- are they definitely people who want to lose weight?

Also- as was already mentioned- tweak a few things like the headline, cut down on the words in the paragraphs- make it much simpler.

I took a quick glance at it and I was instantly bored because there was so much text. I didn't even wanna read it. Maybe narrow it down to a few key selling bullet points and a catchy headline.

This may be crazy to think about and I'm not in any way trying to assume anything, but have you tested your squeeze page opt in form to ensure it is collecting your leads? I know this is probably something you have done, but you would be surprised at the number of folks who don't check and send tons of traffic to a dead squeeze page not linked to their auto responder.

I agree with many of the posts above on regarding the details of the page. Tweak, test, tweak, test, etc.

You have alot of white space under your optin box. White space is wasted space...

Testimonial's would work a treat under the optin.

Also, your favicon is an arrow pointing up, it should be an arrow pointing down towards the page, little subconscious things like that help improve conversions

-Matt

The moment I landed on your squeeze page, the first thing I noticed was the opt-in box.The headline didn't really catch my attention as I was distracted by the opt-in box.

Try to lower the opt-in box to the center right and stretch your headline across the page. Instead of having the image on the left, change it to an ecover and place it right above your opt-in box. I hope that helps.=)

I would remove some of the text and replace it with short and concise bullet points

I would add a video to your squeeze page much better for conversions. Under your sign up form I would change "Your Privacy is SAFE!" to something like "We hate Spam! we will never share your details with anyone" or something like. You will be surprised how many people read that below and better for conversions.

;0

too simple..add more graphics..

The headline is terrible. No one wants to diet, everyone wants to lose weight.

No USP. That's what's wrong.

Don't get caught up in the technicalities or even he design. They have very little impact compared to a USP. I am a very health conscious guy. The site doesn't pull me in.

Think from your target's Point of View.

Too short.

As said by Andy Fletcher above....

Stop trying to sell a 'diet' and start selling....the 'results' of a family diet.

You will 'never' get opt-ins with the approach you have there because nobody
is interested in 'dieting'

Maybe...
"Imagine a life where you and your family are totally fit and fulfilled enjoying an active and thrilling life where every day is jam packed with happy healthy activity"

That's pretty crap too but at least it should give you an idea.