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A quick bit of advice that may help some...

by JustaWizard
15 replies
Hi again Warriors!

In the last 2 days, I've had at least 3 major attempts on my focus. I'll spare you the details, but these were sincere, heartfelt and insistent *demands* on my time and would take up quite a bit of my time. I'll also spare you a reproduction of my insane to-do list, suffice it to say I have more to do than I have time. (Yes, I'm taking a minute or 2 out of my schedule to post here, in part due to "venting" a bit, and also just to share because I really love this forum and have gotten a lot out of it and so want to help others because others have helped me). The bottom line is that these *demands* are/were very tempting, but when evaluated with discernment and weighed against my goals, it became quickly apparent these things simply would not contribute to achieving my goals.

So, my point is this - and hopefully this will be helpful to someone: FOCUS is NOT a laser-like ability to concentrate intensely on something. FOCUS is actually the ability to continually screen out that which is not truly in alignment with reaching our goals.

David
PS: no need to point out the inherent irony, I get it... but it comes full-circle back to the fact that taking a moment to read this post and fully/completely 'get this' means much, much less wasted time and energy in the future.
#advice #bit #focus #quick
  • Profile picture of the author YseUp
    That definition of focus is probably one of the most important things I will ever read.

    I'm serious.

    Learning how to use my focus better is a goal of mine. This has given me a complete gestalt / frame switch.

    Awesome.
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    • Profile picture of the author JustaWizard
      Originally Posted by YseUp View Post

      That definition of focus is probably one of the most important things I will ever read.

      I'm serious.

      Learning how to use my focus better is a goal of mine. This has given me a complete gestalt / frame switch.

      Awesome.
      Glad that helped. Again risking irony spending time here, the reality is that I'm telling/reminding myself about this as much as I am anyone else here.

      Best,
      David
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  • Profile picture of the author DJMC
    Very helpful advice..........thanks for sharing!
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  • Profile picture of the author Walter Cruickshank
    Really liked this thanks for the advise I think I will apply this to my goal setting
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  • Profile picture of the author JimmyD
    A good point made David but you sound like someone who is generally focused. I am the world's worst at being disdtracted. I can start any day with some v. important tasks to complete and end up researching some new idea I've read on here or somewhere instead.
    If I could focus at least 50% of the time I'd be rich!!
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    • Profile picture of the author JustaWizard
      Originally Posted by JimmyD View Post

      A good point made David but you sound like someone who is generally focused. I am the world's worst at being disdtracted. I can start any day with some v. important tasks to complete and end up researching some new idea I've read on here or somewhere instead.
      If I could focus at least 50% of the time I'd be rich!!
      Not so much. But I appreciate the compliment!

      Yep, I can twitter the day away, read my own emails over and over again, and generally find 1,000 ways to be very busy and not get anything done.

      This thread was started as much to remind me to screen out distractions as anyone else that might find this useful.
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  • Profile picture of the author Brad Gosse
    WOW thanks for that, I am coming to a similar realization myself. I made a new years resolution to stop doing Joint Ventures because even when lucrative they take me off course from my own businesses.

    Great post!
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    • Profile picture of the author JustaWizard
      Originally Posted by Brad Gosse View Post

      WOW thanks for that, I am coming to a similar realization myself. I made a new years resolution to stop doing Joint Ventures because even when lucrative they take me off course from my own businesses.

      Great post!
      You're welcome! It's a subtle yet important distinction, don't you think.

      And let me add this: trying to have laser-like unwavering concentration makes the stomach feel tight, doesn't it?--I mean, it's like holding on for dear life and squeezing as hard as you can...

      Whereas screening out those things NOT in alignment with goals makes the stomach relax, doesn't it?--it's like Ju Jitsu or Aikido, you're not using force to make things happen, you're going with the flow.

      And yes, the JV thing: I don't think I can count on 2 fingers times where I've partnered up on any venture that really was worth the time I could have fully put into things myself. I really like the idea of partnering up, it SOUNDS really great on paper and all, but in my experience I'm better off going after my solo goals.
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      • Profile picture of the author Brad Gosse
        Originally Posted by JustaWizard View Post

        And yes, the JV thing: I don't think I can count on 2 fingers times where I've partnered up on any venture that really was worth the time I could have fully put into things myself. I really like the idea of partnering up, it SOUNDS really great on paper and all, but in my experience I'm better off going after my solo goals.
        I couldn't agree more. I realized if my JV partners paid me for my time I would have made out WAY better and THEY probably would have made more money and worked harder. Why? Because they would have had more "skin in the game".
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  • Profile picture of the author maggytyger
    very well said, thank you for sharing
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  • Profile picture of the author artwebster
    There are times when I find focus useful.

    Having radio therapy finely focused is certainly a good idea, being able to focus my remaining eye is also helpful but focusing my attention?

    I often hear of people who are driven. People who can start a task and continue till it is finished. Like nails, they are driven and, like nails, an opportunity to diverge is often overcome by the brute force of the hammer.

    I am very happy that I let my resilience keep me going and keep my arms open wide to welcome serendipity and happenstance. I suppose I might have missed much by not being driven but I am sure I have gained a great deal more by being able to benefit from all that is around me.

    Life is about living - work is about working - a working life is like living with working as a peripheral activity.
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    • Profile picture of the author JustaWizard
      Originally Posted by artwebster View Post

      There are times when I find focus useful.

      Having radio therapy finely focused is certainly a good idea, being able to focus my remaining eye is also helpful but focusing my attention?

      I often hear of people who are driven. People who can start a task and continue till it is finished. Like nails, they are driven and, like nails, an opportunity to diverge is often overcome by the brute force of the hammer.

      I am very happy that I let my resilience keep me going and keep my arms open wide to welcome serendipity and happenstance. I suppose I might have missed much by not being driven but I am sure I have gained a great deal more by being able to benefit from all that is around me.

      Life is about living - work is about working - a working life is like living with working as a peripheral activity.
      No disagreement, and thanks for contributing to the discussion.

      Not to slice and dice this thing down too far, but yes - seeing what is coming along that could be something serendipitous and good for us makes sense; that's were my distinction works because if one is "unwaveringly concentrated" they'd miss serendipity.

      Therefore, screening out distractions, on the other hand, allows one to see all incoming info, but measure it against goals or other important criteria. Discernment is needed in order to correctly evaluate that which is worth making time for as opposed to that which is merely distraction and not a useful way of spending time.

      Coming back up to the bird's eye overview: I'm quite certain that in most cases, it's unhelpful distractions stopping people that this screening will help, and they won't lose out on serendipity or living life.
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Bard
    I have found that my problems with "focus" were really problems with "planning".

    If I made a "to-do" list it would look something like this:

    1. Get the car a Lube Oil and Filter change.
    2. Shopping
    3. Pick up the Dry Cleaning

    Now on the surface it seemed like a pretty simple list and my mind would automatically think that I had more time than I actually did because those list items were too general to make an assessment on how long it would take to do.

    Now I break down the general items into "micro-list".

    1. Call to see if I can get the car in the shop today. (a) how long will it take? (b) Is there a better time to bring it in?

    2. What exactly do I need from the store? (a) Big list? (b) A little list? (c) Can I stop on my way home from the Dry Cleaners?

    3. Call the cleaners to see if the clothes are ready to pick up. (a) Can I pick them up before the car shop? (b) How late are they open?

    I found that if I break these down more than just the general statements and try to get into the actual acts involved it not only gives me a better sense of what is involved but also makes me "focus" more on each step.

    As a result of more realistic "visualization" of me actually doing something like picking up the phone and calling or "seeing" the clothes in the car while it is being worked on makes it more real and not just a list of things to do today.

    It also helps me create more realistic lists with more realistic time frames for getting things done.

    The general "Go shopping" does not give me the kind of time estimate that a more detailed outline does.

    Matt
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    • Profile picture of the author JustaWizard
      Matthew, those are very good points; I've also found that I'll take more time to get some routine tasks done as well, so breaking it down to its components - and setting a realistic time frame / budget to stick to - is very helpful.

      Thanks for joining the discussion!
      David
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