The Moronic Refund Brigade Has Arrived Today, Have They Arrived In Your Inbox Too?.......

I read the whole post, can I have a refund for that?

You did ask for moronic.

not slow. Thorough =)

I have no such stories, maybe that's why I was so amused to hear those requests. How can you even issue a refund without it being a valid transaction? What is their goal with all of this?

I guess I'll play a bit...

Customer requests a refund well after our stated refund period. We politely remind them that the refund period is only "x" amount of days... the response?

"Ha ha, well, I had to try! I'm just going through my hard drive and getting refunds for everything I don't use anymore."

Another, not quite as bad, but maybe worse... I can't tell...

Someone contacted us and asked for a refund on a product that Isn't ours, nor have we ever promoted. We let them know that it isn't our product and we never sold that product as an affiliate, therefore we were unable to provide a refund for it. The response?

"I figured you could."

Say WHAT!!?? lol

Maybe you are talking about WSO's but I have stopped offering refunds for my services. Instead I guarantee performance within a certain time frame or I will continue to work at it for no extra charge.

I guess if you are selling ebooks you can offer refunds but if you actually do any work or pay for outsourcing then you are crazy.

I've only ever gotten one refund request and it was for a niche product. Their reason...

"I could write a bunch of words on a word document for free. Why should I have to pay to read yours? Now if this was a REAL book maybe it would make sense."

They then went on to call me a scammer because "ebooks aren't real so you can't charge money for them."

No matter what you do: over-deliver, incredible support, great content and value, etc. Someone along the line is going to think it makes perfect sense to moan about how he or she got ripped off. It's a mixed up, crazy world.

I've just gotten an idea for a WSO. 17 refund request templates. A canned refund request for every conceivable product. Software, Info Products, Article Writing, Web Design... The list goes on and on.

Tired of writing for that pesky refund? We Put Refunds On Autopilot with...

Refund-0-Matic!

I can see the sales letter now. The graphics could show a bunch of happy termites with cash in hand, refund cash. The testimonials could have people bragging about how many products they snagged with the same $7 investment.

:rolleyes:

I have a guy who emailed me wanting to know if I'll answer his refund request if he decides to get one because he purchased another product which he said was terrible and they aren't honoring his refund request.

I wonder if he'll want a refund if he does in fact buy my ebook? These are customers I'd rather not have at all.

A couple of years ago I had one guy who took customer support to the max.

Multiple emails a day, basically trying to mooch free mentoring.

He didn't seem too smart (or maybe that was part of his ruse?), but he seemed like a nice guy so I helped him out anyway answering his daily emails... which ran on for around 7 months.

He claimed to mess up the simplest of tasks... and triple checked every decision he made, often asking me if he should purchase this product or that product (I ignored those emails).

I was partly suspicious that I was actually dealing with a criminal mastermind, that he was creating his own product from my emails.

Eventually I asked him to show me what he had spent the last 7 months doing.

He showed me the domain name he registered and the Wordpress installation.

I asked him why he hadn't taken action, and he said he was afraid of failure but wanted as much clarification as possible on each tiny detail before he made a start.

That's understandable but you can't force someone to take action.

After a couple of weeks of no contact from him, I received an email from him telling me that he doesn't think hes cut out for this stuff, and he would like a refund.

Umm nope.

I naively entered into the retail workforce in June of 1996, two weeks after I graduated high school. I worked for Revco Drug Stores, Inc. (They were bought out by CVS Pharmacy in 1998 even though they were twice the size of CVS.)

Well, 2-3 weeks after I was hired, I was running the front register and my boss, Mark, was in the stockroom straightening it out for our delivery the next day. I was stocking gum, candy, cigarettes...all the basic drug store stuff. I looked up and this little old lady (80-90 years old) was standing at my register with a Revco bag. I took the bag and talked to her and she wanted a refund.

Our policy at the time was no receipt, no refund if I remember correctly. I tried to be polite and she became irate with me. (I was new, remember, so I wasn't really good at customer service yet.) I asked her to wait and walked to the back of the store to ask Mark what to do.

He took the bag and took the merchandise out of the bag. It was Polaroid film with great big "bought at Wal-Mart" stickers on it. When he & I finished laughing, I went back up front and tried to explain to her that she'd have to go back to Wal-Mart where she bought it. She raised unholy hell and told me how she'd have me fired, even after I showed her the stickers on the pack were from Wal-Mart and the big sign on our door said Revco.

She left and I never saw here again. I worked in that store for 3 1/2 more years.

-- j

I just had to give you this latest update: the guy replied with this e-mail after I explained that he asked for a refund on the report so I was not going to offer any support. Too funny......

"Dear sir, it does not matter of refund. I read your report and at the end you make promise that you would help no matter what. So you are not a man who keeps his word?"

I haven't replied to him yet. My normal protocol is to be professional and terse, but this guy is making too tempting to reply with something funny.

RoD

I've had refund requests for...

a) Non existant products. They made up a product name, hoping I'd "send" them money.
b) Products were they didn't purchase. Similar to (a), except products existed, they just weren't customers.
c) People who can't/couldn't read instructions. "Semi" legitimate.
d) People who purchased for wrong platform. That's ok (in some cases)
e) A guy who argued with me (timewise) for about 20 hours. I finally refunded him. (Long, LONG time ago, when I was first learning about 'refunds').
f) People who *use* the product, (and I 'know' they've used it, and in many cases benefitted), then ask for a refund. (I.e., kind of like highschool kids who go to a tuxedo shop to 'buy' a tuxedo for prom, WEAR it, USE it, then the next day bring it back asking for a refund saying 'hmm, doesn't fit!', ketchup stains & all).

Out of all the refund requests I get, I'd say probably only about 15-20% are 'legitimate'. (I.e., the person genuinely couldn't use it)... 40-50% "semi" legitimate (some cases I may refund, depends on a case by case basis)... and then a very small percentage are serial refunders.

I do have a bit of a system in place, where if I ever did get a serial refunder (fortunately those have been few & far between), then they get an 'auto' ban from any future products. (So they can't purchase it in the first place).

Other than that... refunds can be interesting.

The best one for me has to be when I coached a guy (1 on 1) for several weeks, he didn't implement anything, went quiet for months and then came out the woodwork later asking for a refund because he wasn't rich.

You can take a horse to water...