You/Your Versus We/Our

15 replies
Question for all English and/or persuasion experts regarding using you/your versus we/our.

In your opinion, what is the "best practice" when it comes to writing reports/ebooks/articles?

1. "If we want to lose weight we probably need to pay closer attention to what we eat."

"If you want to lose weight, you probably need to pay closer attention to what you eat."

2. "Depending on our motivation level, we can choose to get up early and work on our business or to sleep in. If we choose to sleep in though, we may not experience as much success."

"Depending on your motivation level, you can choose to get up early and work on your business or to sleep in. If you choose to sleep in though, you may not experience as much success."

Thanks in advance for sharing your opinion.

Mark
#versus #we or our #you or your
  • Profile picture of the author E. Brian Rose
    I am always talking to YOU when I write. I want YOU to feel like I wrote this for YOU. I want YOU to feel like we are pals. I want YOU to feel so comfortable with me that YOU buy my next offer.
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    Founder of JVZoo. All around good guy :)

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  • I personally use YOU over WE, but not because of any copywrite wizardry, but simply because it feels more natural to address a letter to "you" than to "us".
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  • Profile picture of the author contentwriting360
    Banned
    It's always best to write on a first person point of view using the pronoun 'you.'
    Using this pronoun makes your reader feel that you're directly to them.
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    • Profile picture of the author fin
      Use both:

      You're going to be tired when you come home from work. You can't let that stop you from going to the gym.

      VS

      We all get tired. You're not the only one. Don't let that stop you from going to the gym.

      I personally think the second one is more powerful.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    Thanks for the responses so far.

    What if it's "negative" (with a positive intention) such as "if you don't get up off the couch and get moving you are not going to ever lose weight and you may die of a heart attack due to your laziness."

    "if we don't get up off the couch and get moving we are not going to ever lose weight and we may die of a heart attack due to our laziness"
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    • Profile picture of the author contentwriting360
      Banned
      Originally Posted by fin View Post

      Use both:

      You're going to be tired when you come home from work. You can't let that stop you from going to the gym.

      VS

      We all get tired. You're not the only one. Don't let that stop you from going to the gym.

      I personally think the second one is more powerful.
      It always depends on what you're trying to put across. Getting tired is a universally acceptable known fact so it's more suitable to use the pronoun 'we' than 'you' in that context.

      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      Thanks for the responses so far.

      What if it's "negative" (with a positive intention) such as "if you don't get up off the couch and get moving you are not going to ever lose weight and you may die of a heart attack due to your laziness."

      "if we don't get up off the couch and get moving we are not going to ever lose weight and we may die of a heart attack due to our laziness"
      Same thing goes with my response to our buddy Fin. It's always dependent on the context of what you're trying to put across. With the scenario you gave above, using 'we' over 'you' reduces or eliminates the feeling that the speaker or writer is literally pointing his finger on you for you to get up on the couch. Oh well, yes, it may be a universally acceptable fact too that 'if we don't get up off the couch and get moving we are not going to ever lose weight and we may die of a heart attack due to our laziness' but using the pronoun 'we' reduces or eliminates the chance of starting an argumentative discussion. Human has the tendency to react offensively or defensively when you say 'you' instead of 'we.' It has something to do with psychology, perhaps?
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    • Profile picture of the author fin
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      Thanks for the responses so far.

      What if it's "negative" (with a positive intention) such as "if you don't get up off the couch and get moving you are not going to ever lose weight and you may die of a heart attack due to your laziness."

      "if we don't get up off the couch and get moving we are not going to ever lose weight and we may die of a heart attack due to our laziness"
      That's the beauty of writing: it doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be.

      You can twist it so that whatever you say is powerful.
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      • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
        Originally Posted by fin View Post

        That's the beauty of writing: it doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be.

        You can twist it so that whatever you say is powerful.
        I agree but my worry is this: I'm updating a guide that I think is overall very powerful (of course I'm the author) but I noticed that I switch too often between the two uses and that reduces the effect I think.

        I agree with "you" being more powerful, generally, and have already started making the changes in my revamp.

        I agree also that in some cases "we" need to take the softer "we" approach because some will take offense when none is meant. How many times in real life conversations, for example, do we have to explain that "you" means "you" generally and not YOU. That happens a lot and people do get offended.

        Thanks again.
        Mark
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        • Profile picture of the author fin
          Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

          I agree but my worry is this: I'm updating a guide that I think is overall very powerful (of course I'm the author) but I noticed that I switch too often between the two uses and that reduces the effect I think.

          I agree with "you" being more powerful, generally, and have already started making the changes in my revamp.

          I agree also that in some cases "we" need to take the softer "we" approach because some will take offense when none is meant. How many times in real life conversations, for example, do we have to explain that "you" means "you" generally and not YOU. That happens a lot and people do get offended.

          Thanks again.
          Mark
          I know what you mean. Just try and put yourself in their shoes when you're editing. Make it sound the way they'd enjoy.
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    • Profile picture of the author JamieSEO
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      Thanks for the responses so far.

      What if it's "negative" (with a positive intention) such as "if you don't get up off the couch and get moving you are not going to ever lose weight and you may die of a heart attack due to your laziness."

      "if we don't get up off the couch and get moving we are not going to ever lose weight and we may die of a heart attack due to our laziness"
      I try to stick with YOU for the positive and WE for the negative
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  • Profile picture of the author Beverley Boorer
    Hi Mark, I do think that 'you' is far better and more natural sounding than 'we' in most cases.

    However, in your last example where the sentence is more negative, it does actually sound better to use 'we'. Otherwise it rather sounds as if you are beating your readers up. lol.
    hope this helps
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  • Profile picture of the author Lakshmi SEO
    We cannot stick with either YOU or WE constantly. It depends on the context and the matter we/ you expressing through words.

    The proper usage of YOU/ WE would give very natural and realistic flow in an article rather than a lame build up. So, only the writer can decide where to use YOU/WE.

    I feel the following two choices are better

    "If you want to lose weight, you probably need to pay closer attention to what you eat."

    "Depending on our motivation level, we can choose to get up early and work on our business or to sleep in. If we choose to sleep in though, we may not experience as much success."
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Okay, I didn't read any other answers. I am just answering as I think this should be answered so just bear with me if I'm redundant. I'm degreed in linguistics and this is my take on it, for what it's worth.

    You use "we" if you want the reader to feel like they are in the same "circle" as you. You want inclusivity, empathy, and union.
    You use "you" if you want the person directed to the self, to give them an ownership or responsibility - a personally effecting idea of what you are saying.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Elle Holder
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Okay, You use "we" if you want the reader to feel like they are in the same "circle" as you. You want inclusivity, empathy, and union.
      You use "you" if you want the person directed to the self, to give them an ownership or responsibility - a personally effecting idea of what you are saying.

      Let me add to that my Human Resources background. According to HR principles, in the "art of persuasion" you always use WE instead of I. In "conflict management" you should always use I instead of YOU. (just thought I would throw that one in there!)

      From a sales perspective - from the sales segment of my life - there is the aspect of "benefit selling." You want to use the word YOU if that's the technique you are trying to employ.

      So use either word depending on your writing style. Are you trying to persuade your readers or are you pointing out the benefits of whatever you're selling? Hopefully either on gets you to your goal.

      The power of words is really quite amazing.
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