18 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
18 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Please Help Me With Feedback On This???

by Mrandersen
16 replies
I have created my first Opt-in product EVER and I really would like some feedback on this. I have worked very hard on it and it means a great deal to me.

Get Instant Access

Please check it out and tell me what you think, good, bad or indifferent.
#feedback
  • Profile picture of the author JoeyElmore
    Hi Henrik,

    I'm also in Boca, nice to see a local marketer on here. I think your squeeze page looks great. Do you have any data you can share yet?
    Signature

    "The grass isn't always greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it."

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6916962].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mrandersen
      Originally Posted by JoeyElmore View Post

      Hi Henrik,

      I'm also in Boca, nice to see a local marketer on here. I think your squeeze page looks great. Do you have any data you can share yet?
      Hi Joey,

      No I just completed it tonight so it is time to be tested!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6917105].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mrandersen
      Originally Posted by JoeyElmore View Post

      Hi Henrik,

      I'm also in Boca, nice to see a local marketer on here. I think your squeeze page looks great. Do you have any data you can share yet?
      Hey Joey. What do you do?
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6922349].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author owenlee
    It looks good to me...now get some traffic to it and see the opt in rates...slowly make small changes to improve it...
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6916965].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Cee
      Your video cut off before it was finished. The writing beneath the video is lovely and poetic but a little abstract as a marketing text. There are many people who are not conversant enough in English to fully appreciate what you have written.

      The text does not convey any benefit to your visitors. This is just my opinion, but I would want to know what's in it for me clearly written on the page with several important benefits spelled out so that I would want to enter my email address without even watching the video.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6917009].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Mrandersen
        Originally Posted by Cee View Post

        Your video cut off before it was finished. The writing beneath the video is lovely and poetic but a little abstract as a marketing text. There are many people who are not conversant enough in English to fully appreciate what you have written.

        The text does not convey any benefit to your visitors. This is just my opinion, but I would want to know what's in it for me clearly written on the page with several important benefits spelled out so that I would want to enter my email address without even watching the video.
        Hi Cee,

        You are absolutely right. I got a little carried away with great quotes. I will change it to benefits and reasons to sign up instead. Much Appreciated!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6917121].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author havplenty
    Henrik,

    Structurally it is sound. Video and opt-in form is above the fold but as the video started to roll I couldn't help but think, "I don't believe you". I have to be honest; it may be that because I have seen these types of messages before I am sceptical but that's just how the message came across to me. And you should perhaps try redoing the video; it is very obvious that you are reading from the script and therefore doesn't come across as 'someone who's been there and done all that they are selling'. The video needs to be more seamless in its delivery.

    If you are promoting to people who have a desire to travel the world for free on luxury yachts then a few tweaks here and there should make the page convert like crazy. On the other hand, if you are looking to convert people who are trying to make money but with the ultimate benefit of travelling the world on luxury yachts then you'll need to work harder at convincing them.

    I hope you see that there's a difference between the two groups of prospects.

    Iron out who it is you are targeting, redo the video and let the traffic rip!
    Signature
    Why This Simple Technique Could Make You $1000 A Month Easily
    Smart Marketers Pay Less Than $4 For Web Hosting! How Smart Are You?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6917119].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mrandersen
      Originally Posted by havplenty View Post

      Henrik,

      Structurally it is sound. Video and opt-in form is above the fold but as the video started to roll I couldn't help but think, "I don't believe you". I have to be honest; it may be that because I have seen these types of messages before I am sceptical but that's just how the message came across to me. And you should perhaps try redoing the video; it is very obvious that you are reading from the script and therefore doesn't come across as 'someone who's been there and done all that they are selling'. The video needs to be more seamless in its delivery.

      If you are promoting to people who have a desire to travel the world for free on luxury yachts then a few tweaks here and there should make the page convert like crazy. On the other hand, if you are looking to convert people who are trying to make money but with the ultimate benefit of travelling the world on luxury yachts then you'll need to work harder at convincing them.

      I hope you see that there's a difference between the two groups of prospects.

      Iron out who it is you are targeting, redo the video and let the traffic rip!
      Where have you seen this kind of video before? This is a very unique experience than only few people know about.

      You have a good point with my market and my market is people who wants to travel, not travel to make money. Money is a bonus
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6917180].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MattStevens
    I liked it..Great Job!

    I would just tweak a couple things and give it a go!

    Maybe change the italic font and add in some benefits to compliment the wonderful quotes you have written in.

    I would also break up the text a bit (spacing)

    The video didn't load for me, so I couldn't give feedback on that (but as the person above mentioned, you definitely don't want it to sound forced)....Do some jumping jacks before hand to get the blood flowing and most importantly, have fun!!
    Signature
    Write Better Emails = Sell More Stuff
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6917223].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mrandersen
      Originally Posted by MattStevens View Post

      I liked it..Great Job!

      I would just tweak a couple things and give it a go!

      Maybe change the italic font and add in some benefits to compliment the wonderful quotes you have written in.

      I would also break up the text a bit (spacing)

      The video didn't load for me, so I couldn't give feedback on that (but as the person above mentioned, you definitely don't want it to sound forced)....Do some jumping jacks before hand to get the blood flowing and most importantly, have fun!!
      Thanks. The video should be available now for you to see.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6920716].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Harris
    Maybe you could add a bit more Punch! to your headline..

    I'm not sure about the text in italics,
    IMO that would probably be better on your main site..

    Remember the only purpose of your
    squeeze page is to build your list..

    I always prefer "less" to "more" on my squeeze pages..

    I also couldn't see you video, but that might be my end
    as I've been having problems with video lately..

    all the best..
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6920826].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mrandersen
      Originally Posted by quantumtiger View Post

      Maybe you could add a bit more Punch! to your headline..

      I'm not sure about the text in italics,
      IMO that would probably be better on your main site..

      Remember the only purpose of your
      squeeze page is to build your list..

      I always prefer "less" to "more" on my squeeze pages..

      I also couldn't see you video, but that might be my end
      as I've been having problems with video lately..

      all the best..
      Yes. it will probably fit better to remove my quotes... ( I am a bit of a quotes maniac... :rolleyes
      It is .mp4 and hosted on youtube right now so it should be pretty easy for any computer to view...
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6922337].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mike351
    the squeeze page looks really great! whats your problem with it? i think if you drive some traffic to it, you will get a lot of optins, so take action on driving traffic and profit!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6920941].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mrandersen
      Originally Posted by mike351 View Post

      the squeeze page looks really great! whats your problem with it? i think if you drive some traffic to it, you will get a lot of optins, so take action on driving traffic and profit!
      Hi Mike. Who mentioned problems? My philosophy is to share my work with as many people as possible so I can improve my product and the people on this forum are intelligent and helpful. Just what I need, and in return I will help others with my outside perspective on their challenges.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6922321].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author gclass
    Hi,
    Currently the video is not loading for me.
    Since you are using WP, I would suggest using W3 Total Cache plugin to cache and minify your files, and store your video on a decent CDN (Amazon or Rackspace).
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6922448].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    I don't like autostart video or audio. Lots of people feel the same. I want a little text teaser before I spend time watching a video. Give your visitors a choice. You need a better headline too.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6922465].message }}

Trending Topics