List the Things That Hold You Back..

So, instead of scheduling playtime with your pets, or scheduling (or TIVOing) your favorite shows, you kind of drift off into those activities as a way, it seems, of medicating... would that sound about right? I've seen it happen in myself, and others... activities that would normally be characterized as healthy and fun are, instead, engaged in as distractions. Usually when the unpleasant feeling of overwhelm, or analysis paralysis comes up.

Perhaps you could make a SMALL exercise of dragging yourself back from that each time, for an hour from when it first starts, and for a mere 3 days... no need to instigate a huge backlash from the parts that resist... just a gentle experiment to build some internal muscle.

Then tell us how it goes!

Hi Mary, I have a word that you've heard so many times, you probably already know it's coming... OUTSOURCE! You could be making hundreds or thousands by now but, instead, you're wrestling with a landing page that someone could create for you for a mere $50-$75 on scriptlance.com

Wouldn't you say you are fiercely stubborn?

This is a case where Jason Dinner would be correct... no need to figure this one out... you have a simple task in front of you and you only need to listen to the wisdom around you saying, "OUTSOURCE IT!" ... if you don't, THEN you have an even deeper streak of stubbornness.

Tell me, why don't you outsource it?

It's in the self-image, Andy. But, to wit, you've had so much fun playing with me over the years that I have to let you think you've figured me out, sometimes, or else it won't be any more fun for you.

Truth is, I was not attempting to goad that answer from anyone, but I *did* expect it. It's not a bad thing... it's just one of the finite, and predictable, responses one can have to this kind of questions.

Ok, this might sound simplistic, Sylvia, because many others than my self have already mentioned this, ad infinitum, but it is very clear, to me anyways, that you need to be reminded to... CREATE A PLAN.

Then, you have to PRACTICE, sticking to the plan. That doesn't mean you will... but you have to PRACTICE sticking to the plan. Create something smaller and more manageable and, as you practice, observe, in as much detail as possible, what your state is when you get distracted and what, for the most part, is distracting you.

This is not DWELLING on the obstruction... it's helping to identify it while building focus muscle.

If you keep getting distracted, them make the bite-size experiment even smaller until you find your success point. Then you can add from there, just like weightlifting.

I'd love to hear some of your observations from trying this.

Hi Shannon, I know you were responding to Matthew's quote but I just wanted to say that it doesn't seem entirely fair to say that just because someone doesn't have a particular affliction that they can't understand it. Maybe he doesn't understand it, for other reasons, but as the man said, his daughter has it so he can certainly develop an empathy for those who have it.

Anyways, in this case, I agree with you. I do not believe it is lack of prioritizing. It is, in my opinion, the result of exposure to influences that require one to hyper-focus to maintain some kind of identity. When there's a task outside of the realm of hyper-focussing, the mind will wander until it finds something on which to hyper-focus. In the meanwhile, the task-at-hand was not completed. I think it's too much to really discuss here but it's safe to say that if a person doesn't know they have ADD, then it's going to be awfully hard to find the solution.

Ok, "horrendous" is a negative, comparison-based judgment. If you hang on to that, it will make things more difficult. Your time management just is what it is and, if you want something that requires better time management, then you just need to improve it. But "horrendous" is entirely subjective and a hindrance as far as I'm concerned.

As for laziness, I've said before I consider "laziness" a form of self-preservation... energy conservation. If, however, there is an urgent task at hand and you REFUSE to complete it, that's known as SLOTH... "willful avoidance of necessary effort." which is considered a deadly sin and is not the same as "laziness" which I consider as true "energy conservation."

Be easy on yourself, man!

So, you can't say "No" to, or put off, others, but you can say "no" to, or put off, your success? Then you need entertainment to help you relax and forget such self-denial? Sounds like people-pleasing, followed by medicating, to me but that's just my opinion. Matt Maiden might have hit the nail on the head in your case where you just don't consider yourself important enough, or worthy, to work on manifesting your dreams.

One helpful suggestion might be to simply practice, for short periods, like 1 hour per day, for 5 days, to just say "No!" to everyone who asks you for anything unless it is absolutely an emergency. And to refuse entertainment for a whole week. Just as a 1-week experiment, and take good note of what, within you, kicks and screams. Then share some of the results.

Hi Jason, well, first, while I don't claim to be any kind of savior or psychologist, etc, not all events were created equally. In some instances where people are asked to share such things, there can be someone present who is, perhaps, a little less burdened by such things than most. Someone who has, for lack of a better term, walked this portion of the path, so-to-speak. Only time and experience will tell us if that's the case, but it certainly is a possibility.

That being said, I completely understand your defense of your argument. I understand that some people who complain and dwell on their problems are not necessarily reinforcing their problems, but can be reinforcing their sense of helplessness. This would be true if it reinforced a sense of victimhood and was seeking after self-pity which can, by the way, be extremely intoxicating.

But what I began here was not a thread to merely gain exposure by simply having people dwell on what was holding them back, thus possibly reinforcing their sense of helplessness; but, rather to give a little nudge to people via new insight, or a different angle, or a small exercise suggestion, in the spirit of helping those who can be helped to possibly discover what was REALLY holding them back.

Like I said, if a person could IDENTIFY what was holding them back, then they could then find and apply the solution (or at least pay someone to help them), but if these people are, as you suggest, saying the same things over and over again, then it seems very likely to me that the things they are saying are NOT the real problem.

There is something else... just beneath the surface, that is the real obstacle. And, some of us learn, from our marketing courses, even, that what comes AFTER it, is the rationalization...

After all, Jason, how could spending time with someone's pets, reading really good books, or watching TV, really be a problem?

All these things are symptoms, not problems. They are ALREADY reinforced... mentioning them again in a more competent setting can help shake them up a little. This is not dwelling.

This would be a good example of that to which, I believe, Jason was referring. That is not even an effort to be specific. It's just re-affirming a sense of scarcity and lack. If you meant it to be funny, that's ok. But, if you really believe it, then it seems something within you is protecting itself by being purposely vague and comical. You might do well as an internet marketing comedian, though. It'd be a great niche.

Best wishes to all. Thank you for the great replies,
Eric

Hi Sevenish, originally, you said,

Originally, I asked what was holding each person back. That's what this was about.

So, you started by saying that your kids hold you back, then you started talking about their wonderful teachings... and how they know what you need and so on...

I said that your children teaching you lessons was cute. What I inferred from that, though, is that while your children might teach you some wonderful life lessons, they don't know things like article marketing, or pay-per-click, so, as cute as they might be, their lessons cant teach you the nitty gritty of internet marketing.

Listen, I'm glad to discuss things with people and challenge them to think in new ways -- as you can see by the other exchanges in this thread, but I don't want to work with you because I want this to remain fun and light-hearted and, frankly, you just got negative for no reason at all, accused me of something I didn't mean, and attacked me for it.

There's enough of that in the world already... especially with someone as outspoken as I... and there's plenty of other pleasant, well-adjusted people who know how to play nice and want to.

Sounds like something a lot of us can relate to...

Best regards...
Eric