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Please review my Squeeze page

by fettah901
11 replies
hi
i've just started on IM and i would love from you guys to review my squeeze page
it's a wordpress website , i wrote 3 paragraphs , and 4 pages including the squeeze page ,
here is the link : howcanyouburnfat.com/free-fat-burn-ebook/ "Can't post links "

i know, there must be some errors because english isn't my 1st language , so if you found anything that should be changed , please tell me
#page #review #squeeze #squeeze page #wordpress
  • Profile picture of the author Freddy Rodriguez
    The design is pretty standard. It could convert if you change the copy and avoid typos.

    Instead of simply telling the visitor what the contents of the eBook are or telling them to optin, I think you should tap into their emotions to get them involved with your capture page.
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  • Profile picture of the author critterman
    Ya definitely spelling errors are a big problem that need to be fixed
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  • Profile picture of the author fettah901
    Any suggestions , if you found any errors please let me know
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    • Profile picture of the author CassAngel
      Spelling and grammar both need addressing. That will instantly improve the page.
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  • Profile picture of the author talfighel
    You need to check you grammar and spelling.

    I would also let the graphics on your page be clickable and going to the article that you wrote. They go to the graphic itself.

    I would also collect people's names and emails in order to follow up with them. You can take all the article off and post them in your newsletter. Just create an opt in form on your page.
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  • Profile picture of the author twinkenterprises
    It looks good. There are still some typos though sing should be sign, you should be your and there are others. I think there are online sites that will check your spelling and grammer or if you have ms word copy all of the text into it and run a spell check.
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  • Profile picture of the author Abul-Hussain
    For a squeeze page Fettah, everything needs to be above the fold. What that means is, I shouldn't have to scroll down to find your opt-in form.

    Sort out the spelling and grammar too. I notice that your list of "what's included in our free ebook" says TABLE OF CONTENTS. Dude you kidding me?

    Those bullet points should sell to me the ebook, so I end up WANTING to download your ebook RIGHT NOW.

    Well done on taking action, I respect an action taker with little results more than a talker with no results. Let me know if I can assist further.

    Abul
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    • Profile picture of the author fettah901
      Originally Posted by Abul-Hussain View Post

      For a squeeze page Fettah, everything needs to be above the fold. What that means is, I shouldn't have to scroll down to find your opt-in form.

      Sort out the spelling and grammar too. I notice that your list of "what's included in our free ebook" says TABLE OF CONTENTS. Dude you kidding me?

      Those bullet points should sell to me the ebook, so I end up WANTING to download your ebook RIGHT NOW.

      Well done on taking action, I respect an action taker with little results more than a talker with no results. Let me know if I can assist further.

      Abul
      ok , about the opt in form ,i tired adding it above but i got bad result , i'm using wp optin plugin , for squeeze page , and getrespens for an autorespender , i'll move to aweber once i start getting good results
      about the texts , i know there were typos there , i made that page just for testing nd i need some advices ,i have a good english but not as good as a native speaker
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      • Profile picture of the author Troy_Phillips
        Originally Posted by fettah901 View Post

        i'll move to aweber once i start getting good results
        about the texts ,
        Why would you even consider moving? You are already using a great AR.

        I needs to be capitalized as well as the beginning of all sentences. The main question; why do you call this a squeeze page .. what are you squeezing? Right now the page is a splash page at best. A splash page that is not leading to a call of action or redirecting to one.

        You got to sell the freebie, squeeze the email, and keep it all top fold.

        This is why I cringe every time someone on here says "just take action." You took action but it was a fruitless action. A waste of time. I see you can't pm but if you want help with a squeeze page, email me at troyphillips at consultant dot com. No charge .. completely free.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bill Jeffels
    What's in it for your prospect.

    My attention immediately heads to your bullet points. Your bullet points are table of contents, introduction, 101 tips, conclusion.

    Your bullet points should be a benefit to your prospect.

    What's in it for them. What great information you are going to reveal if they opt-in.


    Bill



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  • Profile picture of the author obin94
    Depending on what traffic sources you are using I would recommend actually writing less on your squeeze page. Or having the optin or above the fold and have more paragraphs underneath.
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