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Please review my sales copy!

by johnfrem
4 replies
Please review my sales copy, tell me what your true thoughts are. If you think the site/product is crap tell me,If you think the price is high tell me, if you think its fine the way it is tell me, think it needs some work tell me. I need to know.

Google analytics is telling me I have a high bounce rate and that means people are not spending time on my site.... right now I am running a banner ad on a bartender mix drink recipe website with no conversion results.

Give me your thoughts.

http://tinyurl.com/dkfmvc
#copy #review #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Mac the Knife
    I am sure some warriors will weigh in on this one, but the first thing I thought was...what a HUGE header...it is acting like a blockage to get to your sales copy...shrink that puppy up and get to the good stuff!
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  • Profile picture of the author WillDee
    I'm not sure it's the copy that's the problem, to be honest. The font and colour scheme are more of a problem, I think. Tiny white compact font on a black background isn't very readable, and combine that with the purple headline text, it makes for a very hard read onscreen. You could maybe look at trying something with a bit less contrast, for starters and see if that helps with the bounce rate.
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    • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
      Hi John,

      It looks like you have a good start, but here are a couple of thoughts since you asked...

      White letters on a black background are hard to read. So hard I didn't make the struggle through your copy. Additionally, having such a long first paragraph, again white letters on a dark background, is a big turn off.

      Your graphics are really cool, but the *logo*(?) gets lost in the header background motion and is hard to read. Once I realized what it said I got it, but I don't want to work that hard.

      Purple neon? Creative, and I guess it talks to the night-life folks, but again, it's a little hard on the eyes when you are trying to read the copy.

      Using phrases to remember drinks is very cleaver. I'll bet your product will be a hit. Your website has a professional look with nice graphics and as I mentioned earlier it just needs a little tweeking to make it eyeball freindly.

      Fwiw, I tried to go back and read the copy because that was your original question, but it takes too much concentration to get through it. My apologies.

      KJ
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  • Profile picture of the author Kris Turner
    Here's what I'd do:

    Bigger font
    Black font
    White background
    Smaller header
    Bigger headline
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