Great new look-my updated mini-site

enterpryzman · 04-10-2009, 03:32 PM

Please take a moment and check out my updated sales page, it is far better than what I had a couple of weeks ago. Post comments or PM me questions, ect...

I know the subject might not appeal to some but, it is a market none the less that I know a great deal about.

Thanks in advance,
Enterpryzman
http://www.PersonalRecordBuilder.com

TeamGlobal · 04-10-2009, 03:43 PM

I just checked out your site and I like the nice clean design.

All The Best,

Tony

ChrisByrns · 04-10-2009, 03:54 PM

The design is really good - however, as you said this is quite an uncomfortable topic and i, when it comes to this subject (speaking for myself) would love to hold a real "brochure" in my hands, not just an ebook. This is just a thought, based on my own opinion.

jasonl70 · 04-10-2009, 06:07 PM

the centered text really needs to go.. left align it.

I would come up with a different subtitle..

Add some section headings in there - you want to be able to catch the attention of someone just scanning over the page.

Make your copy more emotional.. dan kennedy once quoted a life insurance salesman: "you have to back the hearse right up to their door to get their attention".

LMC · 04-10-2009, 06:13 PM

Who designed it?

Hackbridge · 04-10-2009, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeamGlobal

I just checked out your site and I like the nice clean design.

All The Best,

Tony

I really like it, and agree with Tony

.

Do you have an testimonials from satisfied customers (the ones who are still alive?). I think it might help with what you are offering.

Brian
Post 602

enterpryzman · 04-10-2009, 08:03 PM

Design was by:
WarriorForum - Internet Marketing Forums - View Profile: BrainDance

I do agree that the centered text is not good, I will be fixing that however, I will not be making it more emotional at this time, perhaps on another domain but from the comments prior and with the help of another warrior the text was made a little softer. With his permission later, I will also post his contact info.

Thanks everyone,
Michael

enterpryzman · 04-11-2009, 08:59 AM

I will work on testimonials, thank you very much.
Enterpryzman

enterpryzman · 04-21-2009, 09:07 PM

Site has been updated again and I have listened to various input from here and other places. I will add testimonials as soon as I have some.

Thanks all,
Enterpryzman

04-10-2009, 03:32 PM	#1
enterpryzman Trying to change my life War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Pittsburgh Area Posts: 369 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 94 Thanked 44 Times in 36 Posts	Great new look-my updated mini-site Please take a moment and check out my updated sales page, it is far better than what I had a couple of weeks ago. Post comments or PM me questions, ect... I know the subject might not appeal to some but, it is a market none the less that I know a great deal about. Thanks in advance, Enterpryzman http://www.PersonalRecordBuilder.com
	Last edited by enterpryzman; 04-10-2009 at 03:33 PM. Reason: missed info

04-10-2009, 03:43 PM	#2
TeamGlobal Advanced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 831 Thanks: 40 Thanked 34 Times in 27 Posts	Re: Great new look-my updated mini-site I just checked out your site and I like the nice clean design. All The Best, Tony

04-10-2009, 03:54 PM	#3
ChrisByrns In Your Head Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 437 Thanks: 4 Thanked 287 Times in 47 Posts	Re: Great new look-my updated mini-site The design is really good - however, as you said this is quite an uncomfortable topic and i, when it comes to this subject (speaking for myself) would love to hold a real "brochure" in my hands, not just an ebook. This is just a thought, based on my own opinion.
	Custom Cartoons

04-10-2009, 06:07 PM	#4
jasonl70 Software Developer War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ohio , USA. Posts: 2,273 Thanks: 416 Thanked 408 Times in 250 Posts	Re: Great new look-my updated mini-site the centered text really needs to go.. left align it. I would come up with a different subtitle.. Add some section headings in there - you want to be able to catch the attention of someone just scanning over the page. Make your copy more emotional.. dan kennedy once quoted a life insurance salesman: "you have to back the hearse right up to their door to get their attention".
	-Jason

04-10-2009, 06:13 PM	#5
LMC 520+ sites and counting War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Brooklyn, New York Posts: 1,550 Blog Entries: 16 Thanks: 312 Thanked 1,318 Times in 303 Posts Contact Info	Re: Great new look-my updated mini-site Who designed it?

04-10-2009, 08:03 PM	#7
enterpryzman Trying to change my life War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Pittsburgh Area Posts: 369 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 94 Thanked 44 Times in 36 Posts	Re: Great new look-my updated mini-site Design was by: WarriorForum - Internet Marketing Forums - View Profile: BrainDance I do agree that the centered text is not good, I will be fixing that however, I will not be making it more emotional at this time, perhaps on another domain but from the comments prior and with the help of another warrior the text was made a little softer. With his permission later, I will also post his contact info. Thanks everyone, Michael

04-11-2009, 08:59 AM	#8
enterpryzman Trying to change my life War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Pittsburgh Area Posts: 369 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 94 Thanked 44 Times in 36 Posts	Re: Great new look-my updated mini-site I will work on testimonials, thank you very much. Enterpryzman

04-21-2009, 09:07 PM	#9
enterpryzman Trying to change my life War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Pittsburgh Area Posts: 369 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 94 Thanked 44 Times in 36 Posts	Re: Great new look-my updated mini-site Site has been updated again and I have listened to various input from here and other places. I will add testimonials as soon as I have some. Thanks all, Enterpryzman