What shall i do?

15 years ago

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15 years ago

Hi Tina,

Lol yes very ironic but i did have three jobs in the last 3 years all lasted a couple of months and yes i still look everyday, i did a telephone interview last week For Virgin Media and am praying that they get back to me.

The problem is when you are in long term unemployment you loose alot of things like confidence, appearence and generally become more fearful about the work place.

I am very persistent and will continue my search for a job, and your words are exactly what i hope will happen, i dont mind what job i do as this will not be my career. IM will be what i do!

Thanks for your kind words and God Bless

P.S The reason i am in debt is because my ast employer promised to make me a manager, i went and got a loan to buy shares and a car then a week later the sucker sacked me

P.S.S And then theres a side of me that says work just does not agree with me, i dont like the idea of being bossed around i wanna be my own boss, i worked hard selling suits and i used to sell the company £2000 worth on a saturday, what did he give me? A fricking ice cream lolol

Thanks
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Tina Golden 15 years ago

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SandyDuPlessis

15 years ago

Hi thirdeyeoptics

Since you appear to live in the UK, and they have a fairly good transport service, yes, I would sell the car. Use that money to pay your most urgent debts first. Do not go out and buy yourself a laptop at this stage.

Take any job you can get - even as a street sweeper if you must - If you truly want to make a life for yourself in IM then you must simply look at whatever job you choose to do as an opportunity and stepping stone on your way to success.

Saying that working for someone else does not agree with you is just a cop out. I am sorry to say but you are going to have to get off your backside and make a real effort.

If you cannot do that in the "real" world, you will never be able to do it in the IM world.

Your first goal must be to become debt free, and the only way you are going to do that is (a) get a job and (b) use the money from the car to clear as many debts as possible, including what you owe on your website.

Your next goal can be to work part time in IM until such time as you are earning sufficient to be able to give up working a normal job.

It does not matter that you have a very old and slow computer. Many new and not so new IMers also still have old equipment. As long as it works that is all that is important.

Once your website is live again, ask the members here for constructive criticism, so that you can find out why you are not earning anything and give you feedback on what to do to improve matters.

The criticism may turn out to be harsh. Tough! suck it in and then do what has to be done to improve it. Either that, or trash the thing and start from the beginning again.

Put some steel in that backbone, clean up your act, stand tall, be proud and get on with life.

Sandy

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by SandyDuPlessis

Hi thirdeyeoptics

Since you appear to live in the UK, and they have a fairly good transport service, yes, I would sell the car. Use that money to pay your most urgent debts first. Do not go out and buy yourself a laptop at this stage.

Take any job you can get - even as a street sweeper if you must - If you truly want to make a life for yourself in IM then you must simply look at whatever job you choose to do as an opportunity and stepping stone on your way to success.

Saying that working for someone else does not agree with you is just a cop out. I am sorry to say but you are going to have to get off your backside and make a real effort.

If you cannot do that in the "real" world, you will never be able to do it in the IM world.

Your first goal must be to become debt free, and the only way you are going to do that is (a) get a job and (b) use the money from the car to clear as many debts as possible, including what you owe on your website.

Your next goal can be to work part time in IM until such time as you are earning sufficient to be able to give up working a normal job.

It does not matter that you have a very old and slow computer. Many new and not so new IMers also still have old equipment. As long as it works that is all that is important.

Once your website is live again, ask the members here for constructive criticism, so that you can find out why you are not earning anything and give you feedback on what to do to improve matters.

The criticism may turn out to be harsh. Tough! suck it in and then do what has to be done to improve it. Either that, or trash the thing and start from the beginning again.

Put some steel in that backbone, clean up your act, stand tall, be proud and get on with life.

Sandy

Sandy,

Firstly i can take constructive critism fairly well, secondly did you know that the waiting list for a sweeper in the UK is 2 years.

I have no excuses, my act is clean and considering i run 25 miles a week and read everyday i feel that my life is perfect in that sense. I dont like passing the buck or blaming others but if my previous boss did not assure me of my position then i would not have got the loan.

There is nothing cop out about not wanting to work for someone else, this is a very special mentality and all the most successful people had this same mindset.

I clearly said in my previous post that i would take anything, the problem is nothing is bein offered. How can you say to me to get off my backside when i all do is keep active?

Also everything is a learning curve and slowly i am learning about this site and the types of people on here, ignorance is bliss and i dont mean to be offensive but the majority of people who are unemployed are some of the biggest potential, its a simple and plain fact.

My mum who has been working for the same company for 20 years just got made redundant, are you suggesting that she too is lazy. Shit happens and my manager was a top bully, he used to talk to some of the staff like sh**, why? Because of ignorance, he was ignorant to their feelings and was a total cop out.

I dont need anymore critism from the people on this site, enough is enough, when i get myself out of this mess people will come to me and ask for help. I wont be rude or ignorant towards them though i will be understanding and guiding.

A cop out is not someone who has visions of making lots of success and helping others too, a cop out is the person who does a 9-5 and dont say nothing.

I am not complaining about working, so i dont know where you read that or got that idea from. You should of actually read what i wrote, and as for cop out i do everything, from refurbishing alloys, to graphic designing, web progamming, blogging, excersing, DIY, anything i can do and set no limits on my abilities.

I dont mean to be rude but your natural assumptions have offended me. To say that i need to get of my ass is damn rude, you have no idea of what my lifestyle is. There are thousands of reasons why people get in to debt, and luckily for me mine is genuine. Because someone is jobless that in no way makes them lazy, it gives them experience, and fuels the fire!

As for my debts it makes more sense for me to buy a laptop and start earning money rather than pay the debt as i am in debt management right now, so i have flexibility to pay it back. I am not gonna sell my own bit of freedom to pay back one credit card, when i can buy pure freedom.

Good Luck

Thanks
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SandyDuPlessis

15 years ago

Hi thirdeyeoptics,

If I hurt your feelings, I will happily apologize.

I read your post several times before answering. Perhaps the way you came across in your post (to me anyway) is not what you meant. You made one or two comments, which made my hair stand on end.

i am in alot of debts but somehow seem to ignore it.

When my son was your age, he got deeply into debt and I refused to bail him out. All I did was tell him exactly what to do to get out of the brown stuff. He had to do it himself if he had any hope of becoming successful later in life.

He found himself a job that he hated and which paid peanuts Worked his fingers to the bone. Gave up smoking. Couldn't even buy himself a 6 pack of beer during that time, let alone take a girl out. But he paid his debts off in 3 months.

Then he set his goals and worked towards them one by one and met them. This is what I was suggesting that you do.

In your first post you asked a question

Now the problem, i have a little car that i bought when i got my loan and its worth about £1500, do i sell the car, buy a laptop and equip myself or do i sit and wait.

I answered that question, but it was those last words that really got to me "...or do I sit and wait."

No you don't sit and wait for anything. You do something - anything!

If hundreds of youngsters visiting the UK from other countries can make start up money as bricklayers and doing other jobs on constructions sites, as well as being barmen and waiters then you can do that too. I am quite certain there are other possibilities as well, even though they might not be what you want to do.

I am sorry you had such a miserable boss, who took you for a ride. But that is life. Things like that have happened to all of us, including me.

My husband and I just lost the equivalent 200 000 British Pounds. But neither he nor I are crying about it. Tough! We are doing what we have to to make sure that we clear the debt that has built up and to build a new future for ourselves.

My mum who has been working for the same company for 20 years just got made redundant, are you suggesting that she too is lazy. Shit happens and my manager was a top bully, he used to talk to some of the staff like sh**, why? Because of ignorance, he was ignorant to their feelings and was a total cop out.

As to why you want to bring your mother into the equation, I have no idea. She was not mentioned in your first post. And I certainly made no remarks about her (or you for that matter) being lazy.

There is nothing cop out about not wanting to work for someone else, this is a very special mentality and all the most successful people had this same mindset.

Sorry, that doesn't work for me. The successful people I know, most of whom are millionaires, worked like dogs in their youth. They all started off working for bosses and most of them did not like it one bit, but they kept on until they had learned what they needed to learn and had saved up enough money to start their own businesses.

And guess what? They may own their own successful companies, but they still have "bosses" - their clients are now the boss and if they do not do or provide what their clients want - their businesses will go down the drain and they will be out of a job.

As for my debts it makes more sense for me to buy a laptop and start earning money rather than pay the debt as i am in debt management right now, so i have flexibility to pay it back. I am not gonna sell my own bit of freedom to pay back one credit card, when i can buy pure freedom.

Why did you ask the question in the first place, if you have already decided to buy yourself the laptop?

Well, I certainly wish you all the best in your quest for freedom.

Sandy

Thanks
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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

If I hurt your feelings, I will happily apologize.

I read your post several times before answering. Perhaps the way you came across in your post (to me anyway) is not what you meant. You made one or two comments, which made my hair stand on end.

Sometimes i find it hard to express myself, so if my english seems somewhat broken i do apologise.

When my son was your age, he got deeply into debt and I refused to bail him out. All I did was tell him exactly what to do to get out of the brown stuff. He had to do it himself if he had any hope of becoming successful later in life.

He found himself a job that he hated and which paid peanuts Worked his fingers to the bone. Gave up smoking. Couldn't even buy himself a 6 pack of beer during that time, let alone take a girl out. But he paid his debts off in 3 months.

I gave up smoking a while ago, and it was the best thing that i ever done. I changed alot and even my patience and tolerance levels were highered.

Then he set his goals and worked towards them one by one and met them. This is what I was suggesting that you do.

I have a plan a & b, the probem is that not all plans to go to plan. I have always enjoyed the old saying of "Those who fail to plan, plan to fail", but this is proving really difficult for me to put into action.

In your first post you asked a question

I answered that question, but it was those last words that really got to me "...or do I sit and wait."

When i said sit and wait, i was reffering to my recent job application which i should have clarified or made clear. The job post requires a car, that is of course if i am succesful, so this was my bad sorry to not have been concise in what i was saying.

No you don't sit and wait for anything. You do something - anything!

If hundreds of youngsters visiting the UK from other countries can make start up money as bricklayers and doing other jobs on constructions sites, as well as being barmen and waiters then you can do that too. I am quite certain there are other possibilities as well, even though they might not be what you want to do.

As for the possiblities, i will admit hands up that about 2 year agos i was quite fussy about where i worked but this was purely on the basis that i wanted a career in life, and my vision for a career was through working. But for the previous 1 year and a bit i have not been fussy at all, i even have applied for many jobs that i would have never wanted to do.

The real truth is that i look so hard every single day, if i walk passed a builder or plumber i tell them to take my number if they need a days worker. I send out CV's every single day, heck looking for work is a full time job for me. I was managing my site and learning so much, though i am in debt i am very thankful to God, because i have learnt a significant amount to do with computing and general life and if i was working i would not have learnt what i know.

My brain is now is robot mode, anything i need done i do it myself. And i always get a proffesional view on my project which usually gets an apprasial.

I am sorry you had such a miserable boss, who took you for a ride. But that is life. Things like that have happened to all of us, including me.

My husband and I just lost the equivalent 200 000 British Pounds. But neither he nor I are cryinhg about it. Tough! We are doing what we have to to make sure that we clear the debt that has built up and to build a new future for ourselves.

Im sorry to hear of this loss, and would like to ask if this loss was out of your control. The reason i ask is that if you did make a mistake, or somehow to the wrong turn then that is somewhat easier to digest.
My debt would not have been if my boss didnt on a night out shake my hand and promise me that i would be a manager. If i had lost 10 000 due to buying bad stock i would feel less bitter, you live and learn. But this guy was a punk and put me in alot of troubles.

As to why you want to bring your mother into the equation, I have no idea. She was not mentioned in your first post. And I certainly made no remarks about her (or you for that matter) being lazy.

No you didnt directly say my mother was lazy, but your last comment about me getting off my
backside and getting a job was an assumption that i just sit on my ass all day and so does anyone who is unemployed. I was merey using her as an example of how one becomes unemployed, and how the one thing i dont do is sit on my ass. I wish i had a job so i could fill more of my day, i am in no way lazy and dispise laziness.

Sorry, that doesn't work for me. The successful people I know, most of whom are millionaires, worked like dogs in their youth. They all started off working for bosses and most of them did not like it one bit, but they kept on until they had learned what they needed to learn and had saved up enough money to start their own businesses.

I agree and disagree to this statement. I knew a 22 year old who drove a lamborghini , he started with nothing and i mean nothing pretty much like me. He made the money through stocks, and i know plenty of others who are earning 500 a day doing the stock market. My mothers last boss's son was in the newspaper because he was using a stock software which made him £50000, i believe that the idea of having to work like a donkey on pennies to get somewhere is somewhat disagreeable.

We live in a new age, the information age where things are readily available to us, i understand that you have to work hard to get somewhere in life, and i can totally understand that for me to get out of this situation i require a job which is why i look so hard. Its just not as easy as most people think especially when you have been unemployed for a little while.

I have done the hard work, being a prisoner of your own home is very difficult i have lost everything, freedom, friends, family, health, happiness, my ex who i was with cheated on me 3 times i recently found out, i have had a stressful life for a 22 year old, even my mum calls me an old man. I have not been out once to enjoy myself for the past 2 years, period.

I also know that when i start doing real business that i will open the doors for many others to make money with me, i will not expect them to have worked for years to prove they can do it. I want to see skills and attributes that will be benefical for us, past experience is something i lack and in some cases has been the reason for me not getting a job. I feel that one day i will change this as i dont feel its applicable anymore. Some ten year olds play a guitar better than an adult would, it has nothing to do with experience, more to do with consciousness i believe.

And guess what? They may own their own successful companies, but they still have "bosses" - their clients are now the boss and if they do not do or provide what their clients want - their businesses will go down the drain and they will be out of a job.

Pure job satisfaction, this is what i need in life to help others like me. One day i too will open up doors to others and this is a dream soon to come true.

Why did you ask the question in the first place, if you have already decided to buy yourself the laptop?

I dont know, you kind of caught me out, on the other hand i have read so many things on the internet, there are so many claims of ways to make money and i was purely hoping that someone could teach me a way with 0 investment to make a few hundred. From the few hundred i would double up with some energy stocks i have found, then from there i could actually start a new site and hopefully with some help make some bigger money.

Well, I certainly wish you all the best in your quest for freedom.
Thanks and would like to thank you again for trying to help me, i do sometimes take things in the wrong way and need to learn not to, but we were met at cross lines, thanks again Sandra,

God Bless
Sandy[/quote]

P.S Just had to show the world how everything is connected, I just recieved a horsocope not long after writing this post:

your horoscopes for Thu 23, April 2009

Gemini (May22-June21)
Be realistic when it comes to your limited experience. It may be better to give ground to someone who has a more extensive background. Having the humility to take a backseat to an expert speaks volumes about your character. Lesser people would insist on taking the helm, thereby spoiling the project's chance for success. The good news is you will receive unexpected dividends from working with this expert. By watching their techniques carefully, you'll acquire several marketable skills.

How amazing is that? Literally everything in the post is mentioned, or Rusell has been cheating and is reading my posts lol, God Bless

Thanks
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ShayB

15 years ago

Originally Posted by thirdeyeoptics

Yes sometimes i do not make myself clear, so let me clarify. I feel i have what it takes to make money and do not feel a tiny bit obliged to work hard to get what i want.

That's as far as I read.

Good luck to you. You'll need it. :rolleyes:

Thanks

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shane_k

15 years ago

Originally Posted by thirdeyeoptics

Sandy,

To say that i need to get of my ass is damn rude,

Actually no it is not rude. It is very sound advice. Get off your ass means to take action. And don't come back saying you are extremely active and do everything. It doesn't matter because what you are doing to be active and do everything is not working. So it doesn't matter. That is why you are on here asking for advice.

As for my debts it makes more sense for me to buy a laptop and start earning money rather than pay the debt as i am in debt management right now, so i have flexibility to pay it back. I am not gonna sell my own bit of freedom to pay back one credit card, when i can buy pure freedom.

Good Luck

When I started I had no job, no computer, shoot I didn't even have a tv. I even slept on an air mattress for a bed.

I "got up off my ass" and found a job that paid me $8 an hour, and in my spare time I would go down to the local internet cafe down the street jump on the computer there for 2 hours and get to work.

So you do not need an laptop or a computer at all.

Sell the car, use the money to pay off your debts, and find a job. Then in your spare time work on your Internet Business.

Shane_K

Thanks
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Les Blackwell 15 years ago

I agree with Shane.

I lost my job 3 weeks ago and although I am looking for another, I still get up at 6am and spend 3 or 4 hours on my business. I have acheived more in the last 3 weeks than in the last 18 months.
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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by shane_k

Actually no it is not rude. It is very sound advice. Get off your ass means to take action. And don't come back saying you are extremely active and do everything. It doesn't matter because what you are doing to be active and do everything is not working. So it doesn't matter. That is why you are on here asking for advice.

When I started I had no job, no computer, shoot I didn't even have a tv. I even slept on an air mattress for a bed.

I "got up off my ass" and found a job that paid me $8 an hour, and in my spare time I would go down to the local internet cafe down the street jump on the computer there for 2 hours and get to work.

So you do not need an laptop or a computer at all.

Sell the car, use the money to pay off your debts, and find a job. Then in your spare time work on your Internet Business.

Shane_K

I dont see a problem with telling someone to take action, but i do everything i can to look for work, hence my reason for posting on here.
I cant find work offline so i was hoping someone might be able to help me make a few bucks online. Of course it matters that i remain healthy and active this is vital to my mental stability, and i was demonstrating how i am never sitting on my ass.

The car is worth £1500, my debt is alot more trust me.

The plan is to work offline and invest for my online projects but finding a job is not that easy, regardless of what anyone thinks i have a daily journal which i was thinking about showing some of the media newspapers as evidence that work is not as easy to find as people make out. Some of the jobs included cleaning, and car washing. Its simple work seems like a far reach right now, and i need to find a way online too survive.

Thanks

Thanks

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Garpo

I am loving all the information I am getting on this site. I only wish I would have found it a long time ago and that would have eliminated a number of dumb mistakes I have made.

Thanks to all!

Garpo, same here i wish i had found the site a long time ago. As you can see there might be some odd comments from people but this is quickly balanced with some real positive stuff.

Good Luck Garpo

Thanks

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

That's as far as I read.

Good luck to you. You'll need it.

Thanks for your comment i have changed it now, and appreciate your feedback. The last thing i want to do is put people off two lines into reading. If you have any good reads that will improve my writing skills that would be highly regarded, and even now me trying to sound posh is quite a cop out lol

Thanks again!

Thanks

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Adaptive

15 years ago

I'm a little confused.

I am in a predicament and would appreciate your guidance.

and

i can take constructive critism fairly well

yet when suggestions are made,

I dont need anymore critism from the people on this site, enough is enough

and

all the most successful people had this same mindset.

So, you're convinced that all the most successful people had the same mindset; and that mindset is to ask for advice and then angrily denounce both advice and advisors. That doesn't leave much opportunity for the rest of us losers to help you, does it?

And by the way, it's quite a bit different than the mindset described in, say, Think and Grow Rich. Not that Hill bothered to study any successful people, after all.

Perhaps you can help me be less confused about what you actually want here.

Do you really wish to discover ideas from other people - including ideas that might be different than the ones that got you into your hole?

Or are you only here discard everything you've already made up your mind you won't listen to at all, while fishing for people to feed you what you've already decided you want to believe anyway?

Regards,
Allen

Thanks
1 reply

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Adaptive

I'm a little confused.

and

yet when suggestions are made,

and

So, you're convinced that all the most successful people had the same mindset; and that mindset is to ask for advice and then angrily denounce both advice and advisors. That doesn't leave much opportunity for the rest of us losers to help you, does it?

And by the way, it's quite a bit different than the mindset described in, say, Think and Grow Rich. Not that Hill bothered to study any successful people, after all.

Perhaps you can help me be less confused about what you actually want here.

Do you really wish to discover ideas from other people - including ideas that might be different than the ones that got you into your hole?

Or are you only here discard everything you've already made up your mind you won't listen to at all, while fishing for people to feed you what you've already decided you want to believe anyway?

Regards,
Allen

I am not good with criticism, and i am especially not good with bad criticism. I have not asked for criticism yet everyone is using this as an excuse to say whatever they feel, be structured in your feedback actually provide help. I have made it clear that i struggle to find offine work, i also made it very clear why i am in debt purely because of being unfairly dismissed.

When someone is down why do others need to kick them, i need help thats why i come here. Your opionions about me and the situation i am in are not useful, there are your opinions and everyones differ. Help me dont tell me to go ouotside and get a job, thats very patronising considering i have been looking for so long. After every i have read i cant come to terms that thereis nothing i can do take my some money online with 0 investment. I am happy to take good ideas on board, but the vibes i am currently getting are not good from this site, everyone so far seems to await on their pcs scouring the latest forum to attack others with there sarcastic comments.

Its very hard to keep focussed in the world i live in and i dont think others understand that, one persons ideas might not always be right and i will explain myself.

I dont want to listen to someone blabbing on about how to make money, when they did not make everything from scratch. I might seem ignorant, and maybe i am being a litte ignorant, but i need the right people to inspire me and to teach me, people who lilterally had nothing not the people who have had everything passed down to them, they will remain blind and ignorant forever. Its simple in a few years from now when my bank roll is rolling i will scour the internet but i wont do what everyone loves doing on here, i will actually help people and pull out the ones i think can make it. I will have better things to do with my life than diss youngers on the internet.
Think and grow rich is one of the very few books i had llisted on my site, i had about 50 all together, i have read the book with loyalty and understanding, i have the mindset. I just wont let anyone on here try and belittle me, if your are going to help then be real. I know when someone is taking the piss out of me.

Thanks

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DirectoryKing

15 years ago

I feel for your condition but just remember that life is a cycle and it has it's ups and down's. You will not always find yourself in such predicament. Do what ever is legal to get your self back on the "highway" even if it means selling your car.

Thanks
1 reply

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by DirectoryKing

I feel for your condition but just remember that life is a cycle and it has it's ups and down's. You will not always find yourself in such predicament. Do what ever is legal to get your self back on the "highway" even if it means selling your car.

Hi King,

Thanks for your positive words actually someone i feel i could work with on this site, there is so much information about making money online, the key i have found is too research the information you find then research it again, by the time you have studied a particualr program most of the people end up fearful due to legal reasons.

The last thing a broke person wants to do is get arrested for breaking the law. I suppose there are so many things you must consider when working online to keep within inthe law, that this is not that clear.

Thanks And God Bless

Thanks

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goalpower

15 years ago

The cold hard fact is this - you need a job for cash flow right now. Work your butt off at a day job for a few more years, and start applying your IM knowledge immediately with affiliate marketing - you won't need your own websites, just an internet account. It will take time to build up your income with IM so their's no point in suffering and screwing up your credit.

Thanks
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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by goalpower

The cold hard fact is this - you need a job for cash flow right now. Work your butt off at a day job for a few more years, and start applying your IM knowledge immediately with affiliate marketing - you won't need your own websites, just an internet account. It will take time to build up your income with IM so their's no point in suffering and screwing up your credit.

Yes i would agree that i could do with a job, i just recieved my local national paper and am really tempted to show people on here the job page which is half filled. Then maybe others will understand why its so difficult to get full time work.

Thanks for the soound advice though, and will take it on board

God Bless

Thanks

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Matthew Connors

You sound very intelligent and articulate.

You obviously have access to a PC and internet connection that is capable of word processing

I suggest in this thread you offer to research and write articles for $4 300 word - $5 for 450 word...

Someone of your typing speed and ability could easily pump out 30+ articles per day.

Get rid of the car you cannot afford it. Just go without it for a bit. Get rid of all liabilities and do not buy anything that has payments.

Learn and apply the difference between needs and wants strictly and without compromise.

Your situation sounds too serious to rely on building passive income or taking a chance that you may or may not succeed. Right now you need money and payed labour....

Have a clean out an sell everything you dont want or really need again on eBay. Look for paid labour for 2-3 hours 3 days per week. Even go and do voulnteer work as a trial, approach businesses you would like to work for and say that youd like to do 3 lots of 3 hours to gain experience, it often turns into casual work then part time then full time.

But also do some BUM article writing, you have the skills.....

Finally i feel like im getting somewhere thanks a bunch for such a positive response.
Do you mean in this thread to offer writing for articles?I have just recieved an offer to work with someone whom contacted me yesterday and am awaiting for approval. Who are the best people to write articles for? Who pay out the most? Who are the most reliable? And do they tell use what to research and write about or do we organise something?

I am just having a clean out, i have listed some alloys i got given to me and also selling my phone and a few other bits.

I also did voluntary work for 1 year on the weekend as a kitchen supervisor, but i would much prefer to get paid work for now. But i would not refuse a job where i would gain knowledge and further my understanding with marketing.
I will look more into BUM writing, as i feel this actually is a really good idea, i will be able to express myself better and also write killer sales pages.

Nice plan Mathew, you have enlightened me in a few ways, but please if you have some links on BUM writing that would be great

God Bless

Thanks

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Adaptive

15 years ago

I am not good with criticism, and i am especially not good with bad criticism...

Thanks for explaining where you are coming from. I believe you're sincerely looking for ideas that can help you.

Let's discuss the unhelpful criticism thing first. Then in my next post, I'll see if I can have some practical ideas for you.

So we have a forum here that is open to the public. There is no guarantee that people will put things in a way that feels kind to you. The only requirements for the forum are that the discussion is related to Internet Marketing in some way. The posts must also be within the rules of the forum. That's it... the posts are not required to be gracious, patient, sympathetic, friendly, etc.

So for any question here, no matter what it is, you're almost certain to get an answer that has something to do with business and marketing. Is the answer also easygoing and considerate? Luck of the draw on that one.

When you get an unhelpful or dumb comment from someone on the forum, you have a couple of different ways you can respond. You could react with anger, frustration and bitterness that the person was not helpful. If the person didn't care about your feelings in the first place, will they care when they discover that they hurt your feelings? If you object that the leopard has spots, will he go rush out and buy some paint to cover them up?

Who's hurt by your negative emotional response, if you get sucked into a negative mindset? Not the person you're complaining about! They're still going on their merry way, oblivious and selfish as ever.

Or, you could say something like, "Thanks for the suggestion, here's why I don't think I can use it now." Duck, meet water. If someone splashes a duck, how much damage is done? If you take the high road in your responses, not only will you get to feel better about yourself but other people will be more interested in joining the conversation. They'll know that they won't get their head bit off if they put something that makes you feel criticized.

Who gets to choose how you feel about yourself?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If your self-esteem is determined by whether or not other people are kind to you, you're going to have a life full of hurt. Why would you let a bunch of obnoxious jerks be in the driver's seat of your own emotions?

If your self-esteem has to do with your pride at how well you handled situations, even if other people were jerks, who then is in control of your life?

Maybe this tough time has a blessing in disguise for you, if it's the time that you say you'll never again let other people make you feel bad just because they are critical. Critical only means that someone has an opinion about you. It doesn't mean that you have to feel attacked or upset.

Regards,
Allen

Thanks
1 reply

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thirdeyeoptics 15 years ago

Thanks for explaining where you are coming from. I believe you're sincerely looking for ideas that can help you.

Let's discuss the unhelpful criticism thing first. Then in my next post, I'll see if I can have some practical ideas for you.

So we have a forum here that is open to the public. There is no guarantee that people will put things in a way that feels kind to you. The only requirements for the forum are that the discussion is related to Internet Marketing in some way. The posts must also be within the rules of the forum. That's it... the posts are not required to be gracious, patient, sympathetic, friendly, etc.
I appreciate the rules of the forum and to be honest i can see that this verbal battering will only make humankind stronger.

So for any question here, no matter what it is, you're almost certain to get an answer that has something to do with business and marketing. Is the answer also easygoing and considerate? Luck of the draw on that one.
I seem to have been quite lucky i suppose.

When you get an unhelpful or dumb comment from someone on the forum, you have a couple of different ways you can respond. You could react with anger, frustration and bitterness that the person was not helpful. If the person didn't care about your feelings in the first place, will they care when they discover that they hurt your feelings? If you object that the leopard has spots, will he go rush out and buy some paint to cover them up?
This is very strange as one of the comments i did not orginally repsond that way, i thought about what i had wrote and changed it something more suitable, i know that if you really want to improve your life that you must posess the skill of turning something negative into something positive.
Even before when i had no money to get to an interview, i had to walk 13 miles or not go, i walked and i enjoyed every moment of it, i turned something negative into something positive. And its the best feeling.

Who's hurt by your negative emotional response, if you get sucked into a negative mindset? Not the person you're complaining about! They're still going on their merry way, oblivious and selfish as ever.

Or, you could say something like, "Thanks for the suggestion, here's why I don't think I can use it now." Duck, meet water. If someone splashes a duck, how much damage is done? If you take the high road in your responses, not only will you get to feel better about yourself but other people will be more interested in joining the conversation. They'll know that they won't get their head bit off if they put something that makes you feel criticized.
Thanks this really makes sense!

Who gets to choose how you feel about yourself?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If your self-esteem is determined by whether or not other people are kind to you, you're going to have a life full of hurt. Why would you let a bunch of obnoxious jerks be in the driver's seat of your own emotions?

If your self-esteem has to do with your pride at how well you handled situations, even if other people were jerks, who then is in control of your life?

As for the self-esteem i would agree that in some ways i feel like this, i lost alot of confidence when i became unemployed and have become quite shy and fearful. I dont mean to be like this but i cant help it, when you have a little more time on your hands you have more time to think, which ends up being a tennis game in your mind, shall i say it or shall i not.
I lost alot of friends as well and me and my family dont really discuss anything anymore. I have control over my life but do wish i had more control over my throughts.

Maybe this tough time has a blessing in disguise for you, if it's the time that you say you'll never again let other people make you feel bad just because they are critical. Critical only means that someone has an opinion about you. It doesn't mean that you have to feel attacked or upset.
I would say so and since i have been unemployed i have been hurt mentally and physically, i was once an atheist but now i feel closer to God than ever, i know God watched over me and i too feel it has been a test to see how strong my mind is.

Regards,
Allen[/quote]

Thanks Allen for such a thoughtful and inspirational reply i already feel like i am making improvements, self reflection is important, God Bless
- Thanks
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Adaptive

15 years ago

OK, on to your specific situation.

You would like to get a plan with next steps you can take.
You'd prefer to have a mentor or guide to help you through the process.

You're 22, in the UK, have good health and no income. You own an OK car and a mediocre computer. You have high debts and some kind of legal threat regarding them.

You apparently have a roof over your head, indoor plumbing, and enough food, so there's not a crisis looming there within a matter of days or weeks.

Is all of that accurate?

I believe realistic priorities in your situation are:

Legal
Transportation vs. debt
Debt resolution

Legal: Define exactly what is the legal threat.

Is this a criminal case? Or will there be a civil lawsuit over your debt?

Could you go to jail if you lose? If so, why are you spending any time on a marketing forum instead of building your case with a public defender?

If there is a financial judgment, could the judge order your bank account be frozen, income garnished once you get some work, car and computer both seized regardless of your feelings about the matter?

You must put aside absolutely everything else in your life until you can define the legal risk.

The car: You mentioned you're in good health. As someone else said most of the UK has good public transportation.

If you sell the car, you'll be able to afford a bicycle and a couple years of bus passes or train tickets.

Unless you absolutely must keep the car for work, or you live at the last house ten miles out in the countryside with no train, the car is a luxury for now until your finances are stabilized.

And we know you don't need the car for work because you'd really prefer to not have a regular job anyway. Also, the kind of jobs in the classifieds generally don't require a private car to be able to get to work.

If your ambition pays off, you'll soon enough be driving your own choice of car - completely paid for.

Debt: It would be smart to live below your means until your debt is 100% paid off and you have savings covering six months living expenses.

Income: You'd prefer to have a self-directed freelance life, but will settle for a regular job to get by if that's the best you can do for now.

That's important and I'll address the income area too, but I think, to be bluntly critical, it's foolish to spend any time complaining about job opportunities when you risk jail and the loss of your car due to your past bad decisions about money and communication.

The boss promised you a raise, but you got the debt before he came through on his promise.

The creditors threaten court, but you are the one who did not communicate with them.

You have to seriously take responsibility for those mistakes in order to avoid repeating them. There is not enough blame for the rest of the world that will make up for the lack of wisdom in those decisions.

Being ignorant is not a crime, but continuing to ignorantly not learn better is dumb. Get educated and be wise enough so that other people's bad promises or bad attitudes do not result in your self-destructive bad decisions in the future.

Get some financial education from Dave Ramsey, Susie Orman, Joe Dominguez... your public library probably has all of their books. Don't read any more from Kiyosaki, you need specific small next steps, not a pep talk about wealth and not a rant against bosses. If you had been reading their material, you'd never have got a big loan based on a boss's promise. Get educated so you'll not make that kind of mistake ever again. If you are not spending one to two hours a week with this kind of self-education, you're missing out.

I'm heading out for a meeting soon and tomorrow I'll be back with some suggestions about income ideas for you.

Regards,
Allen

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

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thirdeyeoptics 15 years ago
You would like to get a plan with next steps you can take.
You'd prefer to have a mentor or guide to help you through the process.
Yes i am much better at working on given tasks.

You're 22, in the UK, have good health and no income. You own an OK car and a mediocre computer. You have high debts and some kind of legal threat regarding them.
This is correct also.

You apparently have a roof over your head, indoor plumbing, and enough food, so there's not a crisis looming there within a matter of days or weeks.
I currently live at my parents house, sometimes i move back and forth to a girlfriends house as i generally find it hard to work in my families enviroment.

Is all of that accurate?

I believe realistic priorities in your situation are:
1. Legal
2. Transportation vs. debt
3. Debt resolution
Legal: Define exactly what is the legal threat.

Is this a criminal case? Or will there be a civil lawsuit over your debt?

Could you go to jail if you lose? If so, why are you spending any time on a marketing forum instead of building your case with a public defender?

If there is a financial judgment, could the judge order your bank account be frozen, income garnished once you get some work, car and computer both seized regardless of your feelings about the matter?

You must put aside absolutely everything else in your life until you can define the legal risk.

I have just briefly gone through everything and quickly rang the company to find out more, my debt is not passed on to a debt collectors who has taken over the debt. As i am unemployed and in financial difficulty i have entered in a debt management plan which means i have only a few pounds which i need to pay a month. I have not yet paid anything as i needed the monies. So i dont think that they will take it to court as of yet, as the court will here the same proposal i have already made.

The car: You mentioned you're in good health. As someone else said most of the UK has good public transportation.

If you sell the car, you'll be able to afford a bicycle and a couple years of bus passes or train tickets.

Unless you absolutely must keep the car for work, or you live at the last house ten miles out in the countryside with no train, the car is a luxury for now until your finances are stabilized.

And we know you don't need the car for work because you'd really prefer to not have a regular job anyway. Also, the kind of jobs in the classifieds generally don't require a private car to be able to get to work.

If your ambition pays off, you'll soon enough be driving your own choice of car - completely paid for.

Last week i completed a telephone interview for an apprentice with Virgin Media, this week they assured us they would let us know. If i have not passed they i will most likely sell the car and purchase a bike and laptop. Which will be more beneficial to me. I have just learnt that i can write articles for money and its not a scam, so if i can do $50 to $150 worth a day this would be great. So its not really something i need and am finding it to be a burden.

Debt: It would be smart to live below your means until your debt is 100% paid off and you have savings covering six months living expenses.

Income: You'd prefer to have a self-directed freelance life, but will settle for a regular job to get by if that's the best you can do for now.

That's important and I'll address the income area too, but I think, to be bluntly critical, it's foolish to spend any time complaining about job opportunities when you risk jail and the loss of your car due to your past bad decisions about money and communication.

The boss promised you a raise, but you got the debt before he came through on his promise.
Yes and i have never thought about it from this perspective, you are correct and i should have waited. This was a job that came after looking for a year, i was really excited and was not thinking right.

Creditors threaten court, but you are the one who did not communicate with them.
I was ignoring them as i was ashamed to admit defeat the fact that i still had not found a job and was letting them down was bad enough. But i can see why they stressed me out so much, its their money and if i borrowed some money to some stranger and we agree on a return then i want to see my monies back.

You have to seriously take responsibility for those mistakes in order to avoid repeating them. There is not enough blame for the rest of the world that will make up for the lack of wisdom in those decisions.

Being ignorant is not a crime, but continuing to ignorantly not learn better is dumb. Get educated and be wise enough so that other people's bad promises or bad attitudes do not result in your self-destructive bad decisions in the future.

Get some financial education from Dave Ramsey, Susie Orman, Joe Dominguez... your public library probably has all of their books. Don't read any more from Kiyosaki, you need specific small next steps, not a pep talk about wealth and not a rant against bosses. If you had been reading their material, you'd never have got a big loan based on a boss's promise. Get educated so you'll not make that kind of mistake ever again. If you are not spending one to two hours a week with this kind of self-education, you're missing out.

I will do some research, this sounds very promising and something that could have possibly geared me in the right steps. I do however alot of other reading, the science of getting rich is a book i swear by and as a man thinketh.

I'm heading out for a meeting soon and tomorrow I'll be back with some suggestions about income ideas for you.

Regards,
Allen[/quote]

Thanks again Allen i already feel better knowing i can finally admit when i have done something wrong.
- Thanks
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AngieRammer

15 years ago

Wow -- thirdeyeoptics
Ton of information here -- a lot of time was spent.

I have to wonder ... what IM strategies have you tried?

With the amount of time you've spent here, and thought, and the like -- I think you could have written 3 articles.

If you are young and in good health -- there are no end of jobs that require physical labor that you can do that people would be willing to pay for ... not necessarily full-time.

People say Craigslist isn't as big over in the UK -- but if there is some -- CL has a great section on "gigs" -- basically, short term jobs where you can raise some cash.

While focussing on your problems may seem like one way out (and you certainly can't ignore them) -- what is it that you have to offer people?

That's what marketing is all about. Finding what people need, and seeing if you have a skillset to provide it.

Hope it goes well for you.

Cheers!

Angie Rammer
Word Demon

Thanks
1 reply

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thirdeyeoptics 15 years ago

Wow -- thirdeyeoptics
Ton of information here -- a lot of time was spent.

I have to wonder ... what IM strategies have you tried?
I have not tried that many, i just had my blog up and running for everyone which was free of charge and included what i visioned as the primary source of ebooks and tools. But i have studied the best and to be honest you can see why some work and some dont. Though its always best to put theory to practice.

With the amount of time you've spent here, and thought, and the like -- I think you could have written 3 articles.

If you are young and in good health -- there are no end of jobs that require physical labor that you can do that people would be willing to pay for ... not necessarily full-time.

People say Craigslist isn't as big over in the UK -- but if there is some -- CL has a great section on "gigs" -- basically, short term jobs where you can raise some cash.

I must agree craigslist is where i got a job interview for a company called asuitthatfits.com they declined as i did not have the experience. Big mistake asuitthatfits, i can measure anyone up with eye co-ordination and no one can dress a suit as dapper as me

While focussing on your problems may seem like one way out (and you certainly can't ignore them) -- what is it that you have to offer people?
I have people skills, i feel that i have a way of truly bringing out the light from within, according to the mayan calendar i am also a galatic portal which means that when people speak to me its like they are travelling through dimensions.

That's what marketing is all about. Finding what people need, and seeing if you have a skillset to provide it.

Hope it goes well for you.

Cheers!

Thanks Angie and God Bless

Angie Rammer
Word Demon[/quote]
- Thanks
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bgmacaw

15 years ago

Originally Posted by thirdeyeoptics

I have been researching like mad for three years

That would seem to be the crux of the problem right there, no action = no results. Stop researching, get into serious action.

Originally Posted by thirdeyeoptics

If you are feeling to sit down with someone and help me with a real plan then i would love to hear from you, i must emphasize that i literally have nothing to invest in domains or hosting, the investment is in me myself and i believe that this investment will be a very positive one.

This blog post of mine will give you an action plan toward building niche sites that will work with free online resources such as Blogger: Earn Online Cash with a Niche Adsense Blog. The same plan will work with other types of niche marketing as well with only a few modifications.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by bgmacaw

That would seem to be the crux of the problem right there, no action = no results. Stop researching, get into serious action.

To be honest my circumstances left me in a good position, as i could not afford to buy the latest make a million bucks a week program, i would have lost alot of money. I have patiently sat and observed for a while and has given me a massive insight into what it takes.

This blog post of mine will give you an action plan toward building niche sites that will work with free online resources such as Blogger: Earn Online Cash with a Niche Adsense Blog. The same plan will work with other types of niche marketing as well with only a few modifications.

I will have a look at your site, and thanks for your consideration

God Bless

Thanks

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Tina Golden

15 years ago

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AngieRammer

15 years ago

Originally Posted by TMG Enterprises

As to what you brought up about controlling your thoughts - you do have the power to control your own mind and thoughts. It is something that will take practice but one thing you can do is start screening your thoughts. When you find yourself being negative, immediately tell yourself that being negative is a waste of your time and energy. Find a more positive angle and repeat it to yourself. As I said, this takes time and effort but you can retrain your mind if you work at it.

Good luck to you,
Tina G

Uh...
While controlling thoughts is definitely possible, and definitely takes practice -- I would try to emphasize something more positive. Telling yourself it's a waste of your time and energy would tend to draw people back into the negative-thinking that they are trying to escape from in the first place.

I know what you mean ... but to me, this is a very important point.
You can't get rid of negative thinking by adding in more negative thinking!

Cheers!

Angie Rammer
Word Demon

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by AngieRammer

Uh...
While controlling thoughts is definitely possible, and definitely takes practice -- I would try to emphasize something more positive. Telling yourself it's a waste of your time and energy would tend to draw people back into the negative-thinking that they are trying to escape from in the first place.

I know what you mean ... but to me, this is a very important point.
You can't get rid of negative thinking by adding in more negative thinking!

Cheers!

Angie Rammer
Word Demon

Thanks Angie,wow the response to this has been overwhelming, i have recieved lots of positive thoughts and hopefully others in the same boat as me will benefit from this post, and this a prime example on how to turn something negative into something positive, the irony of it all

God Bless

Thanks

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thirdeyeoptics

15 years ago

Originally Posted by TMG Enterprises

I don't know why you feel we're picking on you or kicking you when you are down with the advice given. Perhaps you are too sensitive about your situation and are reading stuff into our advice that just isn't there?
I dont feel that anyone was picking on me, i am old enough. I was just hoping for a more practical answer. I am quite sensitive about my situation as i am looking for a way out, i cant take this mental torture no more.

Maybe I am wrong in your case but I have yet to see anyone completely unable to find any kind of job within a few months. I have seen plenty who won't bother applying for anything they think is beneath them or doesn't pay a certain amount.

Yes i would agree, i have so much evidence to back everything up that i am saying. And this is why at times i can get frustrated because i too dislike lazy people, and people who act like victims when they can do something about their lives. The truth is that i dont have options, and even though i happen to land in this category of people i dont feel like i belong here.

My website was a good example of what i have managed to complete, even though the content might have not been 100% the layout and design was perfect.

Writing articles is a great way to make an immediate income, if you have the ability to do so. That is one of the best ways to start getting cash quickly so if you feel that you could do that, terrific.
What websites pay best, i dont want to get caught up in scams so please just one link.

As to what you brought up about controlling your thoughts - you do have the power to control your own mind and thoughts. It is something that will take practice but one thing you can do is start screening your thoughts. When you find yourself being negative, immediately tell yourself that being negative is a waste of your time and energy. Find a more positive angle and repeat it to yourself. As I said, this takes time and effort but you can retrain your mind if you work at it.
Thanks yes it has been hard to stay positive, but because i have been so negative for so long i feel that i will soon change and will find it a breeze to remain positive.

Good luck to you,
Tina G

Thanks for your Time Tina

Thanks

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Tina Golden 15 years ago

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- thirdeyeoptics 15 years ago
  
  Tina,
  
  Thats excellent info, i currently reside in the UK. Do you have any free ebook recomendation so that i can improve my writing skills?
  
  Thanks again
  
  Thanks
  
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