Some input on my Squeeze Page

Yes, get a video up on it and try and entice your visitors to sign up. Looks good, clean simple, to the point.

A video will do wonders.

Regards,

Lee

The only glaring issue I saw at first glance was the discrepancy with the term "Veterans Affairs." One time you refer to it as "Veterans Affairs" and the next as "Veterans Affair." You should be consistent in the usage, especially when one sentence follows another.

Otherwise, I thought it was pretty good if this is your first squeeze page. Is this an Aweber template you filled out?

You did ask us to "be hard" so here are a few other (minor) things I noted:

I would say, "10 most common mistakes" instead of "10 mistakes."

I would drop "Enter your name and email to download the eBook for FREE!" since it's rather repetitious to the very similar phrase "Enter your name and email address below now for instant access to the free eBook!" Instead, shorten it to something like "FREE eBook explains how!" or "This FREE eBook can save you $$$!" in a little bit larger font (and maybe in red).

Capitalize the "Free" under the arrow.

I'm not a big fan of the page title, "You Served Youde Serve." "Youde" is not a word, and maybe it's just me and I understand you're trying for a play on words, but I would just make the title "You Served, You Deserve!" I don't think many people see the page title, however.

I like that it is all on one screen and doesn't require scrolling. The black bar is aa little distracting and may draw attention away from the form itself, plus its redundant, but some people may like the emphasis on privacy.

I agree about the video, perhaps of you describing the pitfalls of filing claims with Veterans Affairs, or giving a couple examples of the "mistakes" and stating how this eBook will allow you to overcome them, but if you're not comfortable with making a video of yourself doing this, then no video at all is better than a bad video.

As I said, not bad if it's your first squeeze page.

HTH

Dave

You've got some pretty good responses here, some of them seemingly contradictory, which just shows how differently people think. Now, go through them and pick the suggestions you feel comfortable with. That's important, because otherwise your "pitch" won't sound sincere.

For the video, there are a couple of types, pick which one suits you. First, there is the video in which no human appears, just a video screen capture of a form being filled out, or a process being performed. Only your voice would be heard in this type of video. Second, there is the video of you discussing the various points of why your eBook is important and necessary. Are you a veteran? If so, what type of background would instill trust in you and encourage you to request the eBook? A plain background with maybe an American flag and some military paraphernalia? An outdoor background with trees and sky? How about in front of a military monument, like a tank or airplane? This is where the creativity comes in. And, depending on your skill as a video editor, a combination of those two types would be a third alternative. Whichever, keep it short. Remember this is just a squeeze page, not a sales page. The purpose of the squeeze page is to get the prospect to submit their name and email address, not sell the product.

If it's going to take you a few days to create the video, go ahead and put up the squeeze page as it is now. You can always upgrade it later. You don't start building your list until you put something out there!

HTH

Dave