Sales Letter Typos & Critique

by CaptainKirk

Posted: 15 years ago 14 replies

INTERNET MARKETING

I just completed a sales letter and would love to have it checked for typos as it is amazing how often you can miss your own typos!

I would also welcome all critiques as I am sending this out to businesses in my community and you know how a prophet is never loved in his own country...and since I am no prophet I know that I only have one chance to get it right as there'll be no second chance to make a first impression.

This is the site: St. Lucia Travel Dollars

#critique #letter #sales #typos

ShayB 15 years ago

I haven't looked at the sales letter yet - I will in a minute - but you have the coolest screen name ever.
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"Fate protects fools, little children, and ships called Enterprise." ~Commander Riker
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- CaptainKirk 15 years ago
  
  Thank You Admiral and I'm honored to be in your esteemed company!
  
  Thanks
  
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  petevamp 15 years ago
  
  I did a quick scim of that sales page you placed I did not see anything wrong nice design to by the way.
  
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  2 replies
  
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  CaptainKirk 15 years ago
  
  Thank You Pete
  
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  ShayB 15 years ago
  
  Sending you a PM, Captain.
  
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  1 reply
  
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  "Fate protects fools, little children, and ships called Enterprise." ~Commander Riker
  
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  CaptainKirk 15 years ago
  
  Thank You Admiral,
  I'll be waiting on the bridge!
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  ShayB 15 years ago
  
  LOL
  
  PM sent.
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  "Fate protects fools, little children, and ships called Enterprise." ~Commander Riker
  
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  CaptainKirk 15 years ago
  
  Hey Shay...You Rock!...No pun intended.
  
  Thank You Very Much
  
  The way you are going is just fine and I am most appreciative.
  
  This is my 1st attempt at using a sales letter and I am a bit apprehensive because my target audience is rather small and many of the people who I will email either know me or know of me. Plus living in a small community can be like living in Peyton Place so this will either fly if presented well or lanquish if it doesn't hit the sweet spot.
  
  I will be getting testimonials shortly and they will go in the space that says "Testimonials Here"
  
  I also have a concern about whether or not I have listed too many benefits and might bore my prospects with the overkill
  
  Being 4 hrs ahead of me places you at 0GMT so are you in the UK?
  
  I'm off to bed now, but look forward to your comments
  
  Best Rgds,
  
  Kirk
  
  Thanks
  
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  Tsnyder 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by petevamp
  
  I did a quick scim of that sales page you placed I did not see anything wrong nice design to by the way.
  
  Pete...
  
  No offense intended but after reading your post I'm not
  sure you're the guy I want proofing my writing... lol
  
  Tsnyder
  
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  If you knew what I know you'd be doing what I do...
  
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traces2757 15 years ago

Okay, it looks like Shay has the proofreading covered so I'll leave it in her capable hands. I just wanted to agree about your screen name and say that I never noticed what was below Shay's name until now!
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Tracy S

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Internet Content Proofreading/Editing
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- CaptainKirk 15 years ago
  
  Shay's response piqued my curiosity and made me look. Funny thing is in my mind's eye I see her in uniform too!
  
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gb4biz 15 years ago

OMG,

I stumbled upon some Trekkies (hope I spelled it correctly). Hope you saw Heidi Klums pic at the premiere? Capt., I took a look and read halfway didn't see anything to that point (limited focus tonight). Anyway, nice looking site, excellent idea, "Good Luck"
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- CaptainKirk 15 years ago
  
  I'm waiting for it to hit the big screen in St. Lucia
  
  Thanks
  
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- CaptainKirk 15 years ago
  
  Oh, Thanks for your thoughts about the site
  
  Thanks
  
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