Anyone Else Find IM a Lonely Business?

[phil79]

Hi All,

First post and perhaps a bit of rant but I'm hoping a few people on here can relate and offer some insights.

I've a been a full-time, home-based online marketer for several years now. I know a lot of people are drawn to this business because of the lifestlye but it's driving me crazy...

Does anyone else find it really solitary... borderline lonely? The work I do is alone, in front of a PC and while I have an abundance of free time the people I would normally spend it with are doing their 9-5s. I rarely see people during the day anymore, at least not to have a conversation with.

Then there's the lack of structure to the week. It's so easy to waste time and just amble through the day when you haven't got to be anywhere at a set time. I no longer appreciate evenings, weekends and chilling out at home. Leisure time is no longer precious.

This one is probably just me - does anyone else find little decisions, like what to have for lunch, what time to go the gym, what to wear to the home office today, become major traumas? It's like you have so many choices and so many options that you deliberate endlessly.

I made this post in the hope that I am not alone and that the increasing number of conversations I'm having with myself are an unfortunate side effect of IM success and not the excessive glue sniffing!

In all seriousness, can any other full-time marketers relate to this? How do you structure your week (do you try to work set times)? And how do you combat the solitary nature of working online?

Great to get your thoughts,

Phil.

[Achilles1963]

I'm not a moneymaking IM guy yet, but i use the internet at the local university library, its nice here hanging out with the young folks, drinking coffee, maybe you could do something like that.

[anth.elias]

My business keeps me busy enough that I still look forward to the weekends which I still work sometimes, but my evenings are free when, they used to not be, because I was working on my online business after I got down working my day job.

[ShayRockhold]

Originally Posted by phil79

Hi All,

First post and perhaps a bit of rant but I'm hoping a few people on here can relate and offer some insights.

I've a been a full-time, home-based online marketer for several years now. I know a lot of people are drawn to this business because of the lifestlye but it's driving me crazy...

Does anyone else find it really solitary... borderline lonely? The work I do is alone, in front of a PC and while I have an abundance of free time the people I would normally spend it with are doing their 9-5s. I rarely see people during the day anymore, at least not to have a conversation with.

Then there's the lack of structure to the week. It's so easy to waste time and just amble through the day when you haven't got to be anywhere at a set time. I no longer appreciate evenings, weekends and chilling out at home. Leisure time is no longer precious.

This one is probably just me - does anyone else find little decisions, like what to have for lunch, what time to go the gym, what to wear to the home office today, become major traumas? It's like you have so many choices and so many options that you deliberate endlessly.

I made this post in the hope that I am not alone and that the increasing number of conversations I'm having with myself are an unfortunate side effect of IM success and not the excessive glue sniffing!

In all seriousness, can any other full-time marketers relate to this? How do you structure your week (do you try to work set times)? And how do you combat the solitary nature of working online?

Great to get your thoughts,

Phil.

It can be lonely, but that is why I formed a local group for work-at-home moms. I belong to other entrepreneur groups.

I find that getting together with others working from home is a refreshing change.

[Brian W. Wang]

It depends on what you do. I do offline consulting sometimes, and that allows me to go out and interact with people. I also do go to parties during the weekends and other social gatherings.

[Neil S]

I hear what you are saying. Since I went full time I have noticed I don't seem to value my time as much and it can get a little boring when you aren't interacting with other people.

This is why it is important to stay involved, now that you have the free time fill it with hobbies and activities. Also as someone mentioned before, do some work at a local coffee shop or library.

[ShayRockhold]

Try to build a local group. Seriously. There are now 36 of us in the group, and it is awesome - emails, phone calls, meeting for coffee, meeting for lunch/brunch - it makes it a LOT less lonely.

[Hugh]

I also own an off-line business. Gives me all (or more than) the
human contact I need.

[SiteFlipRemix]

Phil, I work alone almost all of the time,

It is a little bit lonely after a while, but I do my best to change my working environment as much as possible. I recently got a USB internet stick so I can bring my laptop to the park and start writing some HTML!

My cure for loneliness when working the 3rd all-night routine, I put music up loud!

Although something that I am now starting too is connect with Marketers in my area. I have talked to a few already and going to start going to groups and masterminds in my area.

This is very exciting and will transform my perception of Internet Marketing, maybe you should try to find more marketers in your area and connect

But I know how you feel, sometimes I wish I had my own physical store that customers can come in and I can talk to and teach. It would be definitely more rewarding and definitely not lonely!

[cmbwealth]

I live in a smaller community, and to stop the 'cabin fever', I've joined the local retired guys for coffee in the morning. I figured it was really bad that it had come to that, but it turns out I really enjoy it.

Mark

[bluenetworx]

Hi, I hear what you are saying, and all I can say is if you have worked in the corporate world before, which I have, then place a friendly reminder on your office wall of how horrible it is, and that it is like modern day slavery...perhaps a picture of a boss you disliked...lol....

Anyway maybe doing workshops or live teleseminars in your niches may add some new flavour to what you are doing.

Take care,

Matt

[GeorgR.]

the interesting bit is that what you see as negatives others can see as positives. Not always is the conventional workplace a place of happiness and friendly co-workers.

And what you describe as "lack of structure" could be re-phrased as "more flexibility". Not depending on 9-5 is actually something good.

[charlesburke]

Hi Phil,

As Tina mentioned, a schedule can help. It puts some structure to your time so that you know what you'll be doing at any particular time of the day. It can be a loose schedule so things don't feel hectic or frantic, but it keeps you busy enough to feel useful most of the time. It also has the extra bonus of increasing your productivity.

The system that works best for me is to take a sheet of paper with each hour and half hour listed down the page, then mark blocks of 60, 90, or 120 minutes for working on specific types of tasks. Experts call these "time blocks."

For example, 8:00 to 9:00 might be writing articles on Wednesday, and leaving comments on topic-related blogs on Thursday. Just go through your day assigning activities to each block of time. Lay out your whole week that way. Now, you won't always do it exactly according to plan, but it helps you stay conscious of what needs doing on a regular basis.

It's also important to schedule in some time to rest, mix with others, and have some recreation.

About 3 years ago I ran an announcement in my newsletter asking if any of my readers would like to form a mastermind group. To make sure it wasn't just a free-for-all, I set the qualification that each person would first need to order Joe Vitale's book on masterminding (think the title's "Meet and Grow Rich"), and email me a copy of their Amazon receipt.

Thirty-some folks showed up for the first call, and although over the years most have dropped off, we still have a core group that meets by phone or Skype every Tuesday night. That gives good human interaction with folks who truly do have a lot in common. (We use FreeConferenceCall.com for the bridge line.)

I've also joined a Toastmasters group here in Thailand, and that's a whole different kind of experience, but again it's with people who want to grow and get better at what they're doing.

Moral - You don't have to let yourself become a recluse. Take charge and start stretching yourself into new areas, a little at a time, but do it with enough self discipline that you mostly keep at it. That's how you can stop feeling lonely and start feeling a sense of purpose and direction.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

[danhughes]

Brother Phil!!

I could not agree with you more.

It's not just limited to IM though. Apparently it's a pretty common problem with any Solo-Preneur type job (and forums like this kinda prove that point).

The first 6 months we're wonderful, but the novelty definitely wears off.

I had been in sales for years and if you'd asked before I went off on my I own what motivates me, I would have told you *Money*... and not much else. Well, I was completely wrong. For me any way, Social Recognition is a significant motivator.

I found meetup.com to be a great resource. Like I said, it really is a pretty common problem and if you look around there (or your local Camber Of Commerce) you will almost certainly find others looking to get involved.

They don't have to be in IM. You will find it really pretty easy to find other entrepreneurial types that you can work with and give /receive great benefit from. So get out and start your own Mastermind.

The other thing to check out are Co-Working offices. Sadly all the places around here are just a little too far away to make it worth my while (I'm lazy.... and hate commuting in traffic). Basically they're a big open plan office where you can rent a desk or even you're own corner office. They're all set up a little differently, but most of them *expect* a certain level of interaction. They're also really cheap... Prices will vary massively around the country I'm sure, but in and around Raleigh NC they're all less than $500 a month.

PS - The other thing I learned... Deodorant and socks can definitely last longer than 24hrs when absolutely necessary

[Raydal]

When I first started internet marketing I spent so much time
on the computer in silence that I forgot how to talk. I found
myself searching for words and sounding dumb.

Then I realize that you have to talk everyday if you hope
to stay fluent. I'm still not as fluent as I should or use to
be when I taught school and college all day. Doing copy
critiques give me a chance to talk even though it is to a
screen.

But for sure it can be a lonely job. My kids are home
schooled so the whole family is ALWAYS home--no
lonely times for me!

-Ray Edwards

[Ron Killian]

I know exactly what you mean Phil.

[Azlan]

It is a lonely business if you just sit at home and that's it. That is why there is mastermind group, live events and so on.

- Azlan

[fishman9444]

I don't like the use the word lonely, I think of it as peaceful.

[MarkWrites]

Lonely? Yes, at times.
But there is a much lower chance of me experiencing workplace violence this way.

[intellect22]

Lonely? Not so much but it can get BORING at times...when all your friends are at work or you want to take a vacation but they can't get the time off

[sbucciarel]

Let's see ... do I miss working for someone else on their schedule and begging for time off if I need it and petty office politics? Can't say that I do.

Am I lonely? Nope ... my dogs talk to me during the day

As for structure ... I have too much to do every day so I still appreciate my leisure time as much as I would if I were a slave to the day job.

[Traffic-Bug]

its not really lonely when it comes to internet marketing - but I understand how some people would think that it may get kind of lonely, it could be entertaining and engrossing at the smae time.

[phil79]

Some great suggestions there guys, thanks.

"The grass is always greener" is a phrase that comes to mind! I am very lucky that I can literally run my business in 2-3 hours a week. I'm looking for a new venture but couldn't stomach the thought of more heavy computer work.

I've thought about setting up a mastermind group and maybe I can get the ball going via the Warrior Forum (must re-read the rules).

[Kevin Riley]

Never. But, I've always been the lone wolf type. Could go days without seeing a soul and be just as happy.

However, once you've been in this business for awhile you'll find you're never alone. Always someone on Skype.

[plainwords]

I worked from home for five years and initially I revelled in the new-found freedom. But after a while I found I started getting cut off from my local community.

Recently, I rented an office in the city, about 20 minutes from my home. I now go in each morning around 8.30am and leave about 5.30pm. It's been a very positive move. I love being among people during the day. My office is in a building where the other occupants are mostly small business entrepreneur types, so we all have something in common.

It costs me $130 a week for the office. So is it a waste of money? Definitely not, for me. And my wife likes the fact that I am now working more regular hours, instead of coming to bed at 2am like I used to when I worked from home.

I still work on my laptop in the evenings but usually quit by 10pm now.

[blalock61]

You have got to find some hobbies or groups to join. I live in a rural area but there is always something to do. Go hunting, fishing, work in the garden, go shoot skeet, officiating sports, volunteer and help younger kids, coach rec sports, check cows, trapping, and I could keep going. Not enough hours in the day.

If you are lonely it is up to you to figure out why? Outsource so you can get out of the house.

[zoobie]

yeah it can be lonely but if the business is big enough then you can hire people to work for you in an office or form some kind of partnership with a fellow in your area then it will beat loneliness finally..

[Sheryl Polomka]

It can be quite lonely, even though my days are usually so busy that they just fly by and I don't really have time for anyone during the day, but sometimes I do sit back and think that it's a bit lonely and I need to get out and see people more

[n00b]

Try meetup.com. It's a website where people can form groups around similar interests in your local area. It's a great way to get out and meet like minded people. You can also volunteer for a cause that you're passionate about.

This feeling is very common and it's what Tim Ferris refers to as "filling the void". His whole philosophy is that it makes no sense to work your whole life to get to retirement because after about a month of retirement your going to be bored out of your mind (what it sounds like your experiencing). He advocates periods of work broken up by mini-retirements.

You need to take time to figure out what gets you passionate and really excited and pursue that outside of IM. Very few things are as isolating as IM so chances are that any goal you set will get you out of the house and socializing with people who have similar interests. I wanted to learn a foreign language so I went to meetup.com and joined a foreign language group. Some people like to get involved in political organizations, book clubs, writing clubs, dance clubs, nature clubs, film meetups, comedy meetups, music meetups, meetups based on lifestyle (like home based business, vegetarian/vegan, religion, etc.) It really is limitless. We just get so focused on our business that we forget that in order to have as much success in our personal lives we need to focus on it the same way we do our business. The allure of this business model is the lifestyle, but it has to be worked at like anything else, it doesn't just come. When you start out all you want is more money and time. You don't stop and think what you'll do with it when you get it!

Hopefully you'll get out of this rut and enjoy the free time your hard work has given you! I used to live near Disney World and a lot of retirees would work their simply for the social interaction. Sometimes we work so hard in running the other way from having a job that we forget that it does have some benefits! (Not that I'm suggesting anyone get one, there are better ways to gain social interaction )

I would highly recommend you read "The Four Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferris if you haven't.

[commerce cat]

I think it definitely helps to regularly meet up with people doing IM otherwise it would be really lonely. I'm in a couple of Mastermind groups and I've come have really good friendships with my group members even if they are on the other side of the world. Plus they can help stumble and digg your articles! :-)

[Marian Berghes]

Originally Posted by Achilles1963

I'm not a moneymaking IM guy yet, but i use the internet at the local university library, its nice here hanging out with the young folks, drinking coffee, maybe you could do something like that.

This here is a great idea. I regulary go 2-3 times a week to a local restaurant/coffe shop and they always reserve my own table

Its nice cus there isn't too much noise so I can still get work done but if I want I can talk to the workers there or othere people that come there pretty often.

[blagoj]

Maybe IM is lonely business, but it can not compete with programming!

[tommygadget]

This is why you see such regular posters here. People want to interact on a regular basis. You need to get into a routine. At the start, create a schedule and keep to it. You need to train your brain so it follows your new routine automatically. It is critical to your success to have a plan. The plan will help you to stop wasting time with distractions.

TomG.

Originally Posted by phil79

Hi All,

First post and perhaps a bit of rant but I'm hoping a few people on here can relate and offer some insights.

I've a been a full-time, home-based online marketer for several years now. I know a lot of people are drawn to this business because of the lifestlye but it's driving me crazy...

Does anyone else find it really solitary... borderline lonely? The work I do is alone, in front of a PC and while I have an abundance of free time the people I would normally spend it with are doing their 9-5s. I rarely see people during the day anymore, at least not to have a conversation with.

Then there's the lack of structure to the week. It's so easy to waste time and just amble through the day when you haven't got to be anywhere at a set time. I no longer appreciate evenings, weekends and chilling out at home. Leisure time is no longer precious.

This one is probably just me - does anyone else find little decisions, like what to have for lunch, what time to go the gym, what to wear to the home office today, become major traumas? It's like you have so many choices and so many options that you deliberate endlessly.

I made this post in the hope that I am not alone and that the increasing number of conversations I'm having with myself are an unfortunate side effect of IM success and not the excessive glue sniffing!

In all seriousness, can any other full-time marketers relate to this? How do you structure your week (do you try to work set times)? And how do you combat the solitary nature of working online?

Great to get your thoughts,

Phil.

[Wakunahum]

Find some hobbies to do during the day that involve other people.

You don't have to work all alone for hours and hours at a time.

There are lots of people who have mornings and/or afternoons off to spend time with.

[webdev08]

I guess you just need a break...take a rest for a while.

[SeanIM]

It's one of the things I truly dislike about the business...another reason to focus more on some offline marketing so you have interaction with local businesses/people...

[Mark Brian]

There is a saying "It's lonely at the top". I guess this is quite similarly true with any other forms of businesses since you are the boss you don't really have buddies the same way that you would have buddies with co-employees.

[Nightengale]

I can certainly relate to this!

This is a huge reason I'll be getting a laptop in the next 2-3 weeks. I have a desktop only and am currently shopping for a laptop. Then I can cart it to Starbucks or Panera Bread or wherever and not feel so isolated.

I think that doing this plus joining a local group or two would eliminate my feelings of isolation.

Good luck! There have been some great suggestions in this thread.

Michelle

[D89]

Great to find this thread.

I struggled with this because I started to feel very isolated.

I have since learned to create a schedule. I mark it down and stick to it.

I also alternate between the business Libray and Starbucks or now that its warm, I go to the Botanical garden where there are tables and internet connection. This helps me to meet others and get out, otherwise it would be very hard.

Hey, I also tool a long trip on Amtrak across the country and was able to work on my laptop...however no internet access on the train but still nice to be able to work while on a long train ride.

[Josef_Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Nightengale

I can certainly relate to this!

This is a huge reason I'll be getting a laptop in the next 2-3 weeks. I have a desktop only and am currently shopping for a laptop. Then I can cart it to Starbucks or Panera Bread or wherever and not feel so isolated.

I think that doing this plus joining a local group or two would eliminate my feelings of isolation.

Good luck! There have been some great suggestions in this thread.

Michelle

strangly enough, this is the exact thing I was going to say.

People have asked me if I like working on the computer at all from home and how does it feel...

I always say, "It's great, I don't have to go into work, I can actually work from home...literraly. Bu tit IS isoloting to some degree...but I certainly can't complain"

I perfer the isolation over a 9 to 5 ANY day of the week.

But...that's not neccessary.

Laptops were one of the greatest inventions ever, and I too as mentioned
above will be buying myself very very soon.

Thankfully, my business doesn't require I sit in front of the computer all
day. I do about 4 hours of work max, and I'm done ...now that's life

[RebeccaL]

Got 10 pets here, no time to be lonely.
LOL

[Cody.J.Hobbs]

Phil,

I relate and one thing comes to mind that I found makes it worse (and I don't wont to sound negative here):

It's not only that you sit alone in front of your computer, but you try and communicate desperately all day long to customers, prospects and parters via email, twitter, etc. That contrast makes the lack of interaction even harder.

Which is why it is important to stick to a schedule a get out of your house, work out, go shopping and meet people.

Take care,

[Kezz]

Thankfully for me my partner is working at home too, and sits right beside me. There was a period of time though where I was working from home and he was working in the city, and yes it did get quite lonely.

I also had the experience of not quite knowing what to say at the end of the day, after having been quiet for hours on end. It's a very strange experience!

You definitely have to have some kind of human contact, either through chats & forums, or local groups as was suggested.

I'm just really grateful to have my partner by my side all day now, so I never get lonely anymore

[Mr McDonald]

When i first began it became very lonely, i took on too much and spent every hour i could at my laptop. Now i set times and stick to that. I have my life back again.

[jimbo21]

Originally Posted by Raydal

When I first started internet marketing I spent so much time
on the computer in silence that I forgot how to talk. I found
myself searching for words and sounding dumb.

Then I realize that you have to talk everyday if you hope
to stay fluent. I'm still not as fluent as I should or use to
be when I taught school and college all day. Doing copy
critiques give me a chance to talk even though it is to a
screen.

But for sure it can be a lonely job. My kids are home
schooled so the whole family is ALWAYS home--no
lonely times for me!

-Ray Edwards

Yes Ray I know exactly what you mean. So little social interaction can actually lead to a steep decline in social skills. Something that I would like to hold onto while I still can.

[patricialin]

I can relate to this to a certain extent because well, my partner is also in this business so I'm not that lonely after all. But i do notice that social interactions drop because you don't meet people face to face. Also, you have so much flexibility and time freedom, you tend to take these for granted.

What we have done is to set fixed work hours for 3 different days of the week. The other days have work hours but are flexible and the schedule is set at the beginning of the week. Try to occupy yourself with new IM courses, offline courses related to your interest and just meet up with people occasionally.

Combat the solitary nature of working online with Instant Messengers like MSN, Yahoo, Skye etc. And hang out more on warrior forum

Cheers!