Why does my sales page suck?

At first glance i notice its an all white background, not very eye catching. Try Blues ,yellows something that jumps out.

It doesn't need anything. It's doing what you need it to do.

nick - your sales letter commits the cardinal sin of copy writing.. it's all features, no benefits.

If you are serious, I'd go to amazon or a local barnes & noble and buy Dan Kennedy's book on writing sales letters.

Hey Nick, just watched one vid to get an idea of what you're doing. I'd really like to analyze the page a bit tonight if I get some time. However, I do agree with Jason wholeheartedly--sell the sizzle, not the steak. (You're selling the steak).

Your vids look great. They get to the point quickly and that's all that's needed--many other folks drag them on way too long.

Just a gut instinct here, and I'm not being critical--just for what it's worth. I think you are letting people see too many vids as samples. I know you've got a lot, but I think you're giving too much away. I'm also thinking that by letting people pay a buck and access everything that a lot of folks will pay the buck and cancel the recurring billing.

Again, just a thought, but I might try letting them download an ebook rather than letting them look at the vids. I mean, if you had something titled, "The Quickstart Guide To Traffic" or something like that, you could give them just a sniff of your product theory, and then blend in a little promotion of your product. I might make the ebook offer come in on an opt-in page so that you could market to them over and over rather than just a one-shot thing on your sales page.

Doing that, maybe then you could include a link to a sample vid in a follow up mailing every 3-4 days. This might keep them opening your emails and you'd get a fair conversion rate I would think.

I want to think on this more tonight--right now the Tigers are ahead 11-7 and I've got to do some armchair coaching so they don't blow it!

Hi Nick

How you doing my friend ?!

Just taken a look for you.... Please dont take to heart my comments they are only meant to help

In all honesty the page looks extremely basic which gives off the immediate impression that its an amateur that has made it. This then is related to the product.

Incase you havent noticed either your very top line is spelt wrong ( The word- Presents )

To me the page seems more of a template for an opt-in page

A sales page needs to be SO much more than an opt-in page. You need graphics that GRIP the visitor from the second they hit your page !!

You sales page needs YOUR STORY ... where you have come from, what you have achieved.... etc ..

The story IMHO is actually more important than the pitch !

You need to present the visitors problem to them on the page ... THEN solve their problems with your products benefits... You just seem to be presenting nothing but product features.

I would also suggest your page is far too short but if you include your story etc ... as I mention then that will lengthen it...

I would suggest go look up some BIG selling products sales pages and see how they are laid out. Dayjobkiller.com for example I believe did over a million dollars !

Im just writting my copy for Big project right now, the first draft is 14 pages long in openoffice... To give you an idea of how short yours is right now..

Hope that helps you brother

Dean

No benefits, boring as heck and a typo in the first sentence!

I think you need to consider hiring a copywriter, so you don't waste
all your traffic!

You can always learn yourself, but it's a steep learning curve and
a matter of practice too.

But for now, I'd say:

1. Put benefits in your headline, and tie it together with a strong USP/hook
2. Use sub headlines to link the story together
3. Create or tell a story
4. Add proof
5. Test

Other posters have given you plenty to go at for now but I just wanted to point out the following

Q: How much does the membership cost?
A: It's $1.00 for the first week and then it's $27.00 every month after that

Should it not be for "the first month" rather than week ?

These answers are good for me too as I am in the middle of writing my own first proper sales letter - it is hard work, isn't it...

Try adding a image placement holder for the videos... ie, a java light box, and it'll open up in a new window.

No decent bullet point images.

Overall, site looks ugly... has no professional look, feel to it.

Plus I think your price is too high too, $17 a month would be better, you dont have enough videos there to be worth to have 6-10 videos at $27 per month.

remove your email address.

use a image signature

add a photo of yourself there at the top to add credibility.

add testimonials / social proof.

add proof of your rankings.


only show say 3 videos then ask them to join a list to watch more free videos, so you capture ppls addys to upsell them on something later - here you could drop the price to say $10 for the first 2 months, then $17 a month thereafter.

add more of a reason why they should join, get them excited. adding testimonials and your proof that what you are showing works, is one way, but try adding something like awat stats traffic records...

any earnings you've made via adsense, affiliate commissions, etc based on result of what you show ppl in your videos.