Feedback on Commercial Please!

I watched the commercial and I have a couple of ideas.

1 - The video maybe a bit short. Maybe a longer video that had someone talking about the benefits of high pressure scrubbing, waterproofing services while showing exactly how it gets done could help.

2 - You said your audience are females 34 and older. It would really be good if a few female customers who have already used the services and were very happy, gave a brief honost testimonial on their positive experiences in the video.

3 - Another tip is to have a form somewhere on your site where you give something away for free (of course the free gift would be related to your business) in exchange for their email address - then you will be building an email list of future potential customers who you can email in the future about your services.

Hope this helps

Shaneman

Thanks. I have been concerned about the length myself also. I think you're right about getting some actual video footage of it working along with a testimonial or two.

Watched the commercial.

1. Pressure washing driveways has nothing to do with "bigstackmasonry.com".

That makes people hang up and not call.

Would you call McDonalds to get your teeth checked
or Subway to Fix your car?

Come up with a nice name (or a funny name), register new domain and put video
on there.

Possible names would be something like
mrcleandriveway.com
mycleandriveway.com
Mrsuperclean.com
mrdirtaway.com

Those are all free to register right now and took me all of 2 1/2 minutes to come up with them.

2. Once you have a decent web site with a name that communicates then change the voice over and start airing it again.

3. There are other ways to get customers. I mean other than showing that video online or showing it on TV. More effective ways.

Pull the commercials for a month or so. I wouldn't be surprised if you started getting some action once the weather gets warmer.

I doubt it's the length. Is there a specific reason why your target market is women? I don't see women sitting on the couch and seeing this commercial after an episode of "Young & The Restless" and saying "hey I should give them a call because the driveway is a bit dirty"

If your target market is proven to be women, then write the script for women. Men tend to think more logically and women tend respond better emotionally. This looked and felt like every other commercial out there.

I would also take the pitch and put it on a postcard and shoot em' off to a thousand homes and do a quick test on the copy until it's pulling a decent amount. After that, then turn it into a commercial.

One more point: as mentioned above, change the domain name. And please don't call the discount a "voucher code" I'm sure some people don't know what that is.

If your targeting women, then call it a DISCOUNT.

-Tony M.

P.S. - The site looks great!

I found the woman you used in the voice over to have a whinny voice.

I should also mention that having looked at your "tinting service" contact form that you are asking people to pay up front for services.

In the past 30 yrs I have ran a commercial construction biz.

I have never asked for payment before the job was started and especially before not having met the client in person.

Meet your clients in person, take measurements etc.
You would not believe how many people can not figure out the sq/ft of an area.

Thanks guys. Back to the drawing board for me then.