Do You Get Too Personal With Your List?

[Steven Wagenheim]

I'm hoping I can get a number of list builders to weigh in on this subject,
especially some of the bigger ones.

I tend to try to keep things purely business with my list. But occasionally I
will send a personal email, such as the other day when I informed my list
about the passing of my mom.

I honestly didn't know what to expect from it so the outpouring of
sympathy from so many people really touched me.

But being personal with your list can backfire. We all know it.

You read everyday about people who unsubscribe because they don't want
to hear about the vacation you took to wherever.

My feeling is, the better your list knows you, the more they will trust you.
And what better way for them to get to know you than to know something
about you?

But is this true for everybody?

Do you find you're better off just sticking to business?

What kind of response do you get if and when you send an email with
personal information?

Do you get more unsubscribes or less?

Do you make more sales or less?

Does it depend on the kind of personal info? Naturally reporting a death in
the family can't be compared to telling somebody about the new cat you
just adopted.

Anyway, I'd like to hear what other list owners have done in this area and
what kind of results they've gotten.

So far, mine have been only positive.

[Martin.Avis]

Interesting question Steven. My answer has to be that in my experience (and with my list) the more personal I am the more responsive they become.

I ran a rather businesslike newsletter for a long time until, some time around issue #350 I wrote a short editorial piece about something my family and I had done. To say that my inbox exploded would be an understatement.

I guess that people were reading before (or they wouldn't have read that issue) but they very rarely responded.

It came as quite a wake-up call and a serious reminder that people like to do business with people, not faceless businesses.

Not being one to fail to read the writing on the wall, I wrote a personal bit in the next issue too and the next. In the end, the personal stuff often became the focus of the whole of the start of the newsletter. I'd write about what my kids had been doing, the movies that my wife and I had seen, even the pond I dug in my garden.

I suppose some people may have left me because of it, but I don't really care too much about them. The ones who are left changed in my mind from being just subscribers to being friends who read what I write. And so many of them became friends in reality too as they engaged in email correspondence.

A few have even called in for a visit from all over the world!

To my mind it is all great and is a large part of what has kept me writing two or three times a week. Today I sent out issue #1033.

And the bottom line, for we are about business and not just warm fuzzy feelings, is that the day I started writing personal stuff was the day my subscribers started buying the things I recommended in volume. That day my income took off and I haven't looked back.

Martin

[J Elizabeth Dize]

I don't have a very big list, but I don't have a problem sharing certain personal information with that that is impacting my life and my business.

I think it helps to show that you're a "real" person with real things going on in your life. The more people get to know you, the more connected they likely feel with you.

If anyone unsubscribes because something heartfelt was shared, good riddance

(I agree with Tina that the line is drawn when the personal stuff that is shared is just to make the marketer look better or to show off )

[David Raybould]

I'm thinking Travis Sago
may be the guy to ask here...

He probably has a good sized
list, and his emails and videos
are always full of little pointers
and things to remind you that
he's just a regular guy...

And they work pretty well too,
at least how he does them.

[mikemcmillan]

Steve, here is how the typical big-list guru's email starts--as you know...

Hey, I just ran across [affiliate link], and wow, [affiliate link] is way more than I expected. I want you to check out the [affiliate link] video right here [affiliate link].

The testimonials for [affiliate link] are incredible and [affiliate link] is flying off the shelves like crazy. [affiliate link] is breaking all sales records and [affiliate link] is the hottest thing on the market. What ore can I say about [affiliate link]? Well [affiliate link] is an in depth tutorial and [affiliate link] is far better than...

So I don't know about others, but I think personalizing your mails with a little info like you mentioned makes your subscribers think of you as a real person, rather than an affiliate-link generating spam-bot. I say good for you. I think it's a good thing!

[JohnMcCabe]

I think there's a line there, between showing some personality and just too much information...

If you're sending me a business-oriented newsletter, I don't mind you mentioning your vacation, visiting relatives or whatever. I don't mind a proud parent mentioning an award their little darling won.

If you experience a truly traumatic, life-changing event, go ahead and let it our for an issue. A good list relationship should go both ways.

But I can really live without graphic descriptions of the challenges of potty-training or the infected boil on your butt. Go ahead and mention that you're getting a divorce if you must, but leave the he-said, she-said transcript for "today's edition of Divorce Court." I have my own problems to deal with.

I like the way Perry Marshall deals with his ongoing travels. He'll make a short mention of a trip, maybe include a brief story, then post a link to photos, etc. on his blog. If he went somewhere I'm interested in, and I have the time, I'll check it out. Otherwise, it's on to business.

[drmani]

It helps to stay focused on WHY your subscriber is on your list.

As long as your 'personal' stories tie in with that WHY, even
serve to highlight or enhance any message you're trying to convey,
your subscribers will love it.

But merely throwing in a 'personal' snippet that's out of context
may irritate, annoy or even force an unsubscribe.

As for trying to imitate Martin Avis' style, I doubt if many could
mimic it - but I LOVE his ezine just for the personal bits, and it's
one of VERY few I read the minute it hits my inbox

All success
Dr.Mani

[Edgar Moreno]

In my experience being personal has always had positive results. Makes the individual feel as if they know you on a personal level and they aren't just an atm machine to you.

Just as you stated though, I wouldn't go blasting about my vacation to Hawaii or something unless it is just a sidenote regarding an absence of some sort or something.

[Kay King]

Personal is good...to a point. I don't mind reference to a vacation unless that's the whole point of the email. Also seems normal to include a comment about the loss of a family member.

It's easy to go over the line. I'll unsubscribe in a heartbeat from a list owner pushing political views, offensive videos, sending rants about others, talking religion, using four letter words to express himself, etc. If your only reason for sending an email is to talk about your vacation, save it.

I'd say talk to your list as you would talk to a neighbor. Be a real person but don't get too personal. If you wouldn't barge into your neighbor's home with those comments, don't barge into mine. And don't forget a bit of humor.

kay

[morgansmom]

I usually start my emails out with a short paragraph about something personal. I usually send out newsletters on Mondays so I'll give a brief tidbit about what I did on the weekend. It's usually something amusing since I have a couple of psychotic kids who are highly entertaining. I've never had anyone unsubscribe because of it (that I know of anyway) and the more personal newsletters are always the most responded to.

[marciayudkin]

I have unsubscribed from lists or newsletters where the person has unintentionally revealed a side of themselves that runs contrary to my own values or where the person writes as if they expect me to recognize the name of their pet or their special someone.

It's rare that personal information changes my opinion of someone for the better. More often it is the opposite.

Especially when I expected to be receiving useful business information.

Marcia Yudkin

[Gmaster]

Seriously I got no idea on how to be closed with my list for the first time, but by keep communication with them every week most of them right now easily response back to any offer.

So, i believe by blend some personal touch without lowering our professionalism will make us close to them and grab their trustworthy.

[Harry Behrens]

My 'personal' list is extremely small so far and I do try to show a lot of my personality on it but I have one rule that has come from my own experience and reactions in getting newsletters - never, ever, ever rant. Never. Ever.

Even if you've seen something really bad that you think deserves to be ranted about. Even if it's a reprehensible thing that really made you angry. Do not write about it. It does not belong.

You just don't know what state the person on the other side of the email is. You may think that you're just showing some 'hard love' or something, when one day the other person is feeling really down and looking for some productive or enlightening thoughts, then he goes and reads your thoughts on people who don't press the thanks button enough or something like that, and suddenly hey, you downed his day even more than it already was. That is just an abuse of the trust that that person showed you by subscribing.

Of course I'm not talking about when someone does a "rant" which is actually a valuable lesson or insight that is disguised or modeled as a "rant" to make it interesting - I'm talking about actual, real rants. Never do them. Ever.

[Shaun OReilly]

If you're selling information products - most of the information
can be gotten from other providers.

Therefore, one of the key things you can do to differentiate
your newsletter is by injecting a bit about you and your
personality - if it's relevant.

I started a newsletter back in 2003 and kept it 'purely business'
for a couple of years.

Then I had a cataclysmic personal event that I commented on
in the newsletter and I was flabbergasted by the response.

It emphasized the fact that people do business with people.

Provided that your personal stories drive a point home that is
of value to the reader - business or otherwise - then fine.

Your personality and voice can be a key differentiator to give
people a reason to read your information over and above anyone
elses.

The power of personal stories to draw people into your
message should not be underestimated.

Dedicated to your success,

*Shaun O'Reilly

[Adrian Cooper]

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

I'm hoping I can get a number of list builders to weigh in on this subject,
especially some of the bigger ones.

I tend to try to keep things purely business with my list. But occasionally I
will send a personal email, such as the other day when I informed my list
about the passing of my mom.

I honestly didn't know what to expect from it so the outpouring of
sympathy from so many people really touched me.

But being personal with your list can backfire. We all know it.

You read everyday about people who unsubscribe because they don't want
to hear about the vacation you took to wherever.

My feeling is, the better your list knows you, the more they will trust you.
And what better way for them to get to know you than to know something
about you?

But is this true for everybody?

Do you find you're better off just sticking to business?

What kind of response do you get if and when you send an email with
personal information?

Do you get more unsubscribes or less?

Do you make more sales or less?

Does it depend on the kind of personal info? Naturally reporting a death in
the family can't be compared to telling somebody about the new cat you
just adopted.

Anyway, I'd like to hear what other list owners have done in this area and
what kind of results they've gotten.

So far, mine have been only positive.

The biggest and most destructive mistake people make with a list is to only send "offers" to it.

A list first and foremost is to build a relationship of trust and loyalty with the subscribers. They are human beings - not "leads".

I send a newsletter every Sunday of up to 20 pages written by myself. Only sometimes do I offer something, and only then if is genuinely valuable.

The response though is always very high.

[Loren Woirhaye]

The way I see it is people read emails to be entertained
and informed. I get emails from a lot of marketers and
there are only a handful who I read often - because
these marketers consistently offer a fresh perspective.

I get fairly personal - I write about my own experiences
frequently. I do a fair amount of improvised video content
as well - so subscribers get plenty of opportunities and
insights into the experiences that have shaped my ideas.

You wouldn't expect it but a lot of people respond well
to philosophy, if you do it in an engaging way - because
in the shallow world we inhabit most folks don't have
somebody asking them often: "what is a balanced life?
Why be a marketer? what's your reason why?"

I enjoy these questions. I ask them of myself. The main
thrust of my writing is that your own success is a journey
and you have to figure out what you're good at, what
interests you, what kind of work you prefer to do. These
are not always so easily answered and of course when
you actually commit to a course of action, no matter
what it is, there are consequences.

It is my suspicion that the majority of people who would
like to make a living as marketers are struggling to answer
these questions, so I engage on that level.

[JamesPenn]

I started off without ANY personality. I was too scared my list would find out who I was... a 17 year old at the time.

My click-thru rates appeared to be declining with every single email I sent out - despite the fact I was sending great quality content with very few sales pitches.

My list was almost worthless in the summer of 2007 despite having more than 3,000 names in my internet marketing list.

So I decided to go for broke and "come out" and reveal my age.

The response to that email was fantastic and I was kind of 'free' to start to inject some personality.

Now, I regularly start my emails with a paragraph or two about my life - and my list seem to love it. I've revitalised them. They buy from me now, they email me back, there's much greater interactivity.

Being personal was the most important change I've made in my internet marketing career.

In the last salespage I wrote, I also decided to be very personal and inject some humour. That salespage has been my best converting salespage EVER with ridiculously high conversions. And I believe that to be because I shared personal experiences which sky-rockets trust.

You probably can be too personal, but a little personality goes a long way.

James

[Paid Surveys]

It's a balancing act between being professional but also personalising your list to be responsive to the needs of your customers. Sometimes revealing a little about your personal views can be beneficial but it is also a risk because you may alienate other members of your list.

[MichaelHiles]

Steve, the same rules apply as do with social media.

You are responsible for what you present. Pictures of a drunken brouhaha may come back to haunt you years later.

That being said, flash PR in this day and age can pretty much cure any stumbling buffoonery within a few days of concentrated effort.

[bgmacaw]

Here's a good reason not to provide personal details: Do 'I'm on vacation' posts pose security concerns?. It may be that not everyone on your list (or blog reader or Twitter follower) is an upstanding citizen.

[jasonl70]

Most of the email my lists receive are from my autoresponder sequence, and to be honest I didn't put much effort into injecting anything personal into them.

I'm currently rewriting my entire AR sequence, as well as seriously thinking of doing a 'real' newsletter every few weeks or so ('real' as in I write it fresh then broadcast it to the list). This time I'm going to take a different approach and personalize things a bit more. I just hope I am not falling into the 'ego trap', ie letting my ego start to dictate what I do vs actual results.

[Jeremy Kelsall]

I don't have a HUGE list, but the emails that my list receive are...

1. Never prescripted - Hell, I never know when they are going to get an email until I get something in my head.

2. Mostly personal. I very rarely try to sell anything to them, but man...when I do, they are more responsive than I can explain. I would drop some percentages, but you would not believe them anyway

I think to an extent, the more personal you are with your list the more they can relate to you. If they know that you go through some tough stuff too, then they don't feel like the results that you are getting are unattainable for them...

[JonathanBoettcher]

Looks like the forum has spoken. Let the personality shine through!

[Tyrus Antas]

I get the best response when I mix emotion and knowledge with my lists. This seems to work particularly well with women.

I've noticed this phenomenon with blogs as well. Two bloggers cover the same subject. Blog A is all about how to do it, gets into details and rarely talks about himself while Blog B is big into mixing knowledge and personal stories with a few emotional moments. Blog A attracts mainly men while Blog B has a more even audience.

Tyrus

[Kim Standerline]

I agree completely

I adore Martin's ezine, I read it as soon as it plops into my inbox. I think he has his mix completely right

Kim

Originally Posted by drmani

As for trying to imitate Martin Avis' style, I doubt if many could
mimic it - but I LOVE his ezine just for the personal bits, and it's
one of VERY few I read the minute it hits my inbox

All success
Dr.Mani

[Jay Deiboldt]

I find the more you share with your list, the more responsive they become. The ones who unsub, I probably don't want there anyway.

[Jason James]

I am really personal with my list and I think it helps builds relationships and forms bonds.

I agree.. the better my list knows me, the more they will trust me.

I've shared stuff about the multiple plastic surgeries i've had (Think Tom Bosley and rhinoplasty), about my fundraising for my local animal shleter, about my dogs Cherokee and Charlie - Official Website, about my social anxiety battle, and on and on.

Ive consistently been among the top affiliates for many major product launches mostly do to email marketing so I think I am doing something right.

For me as a consumer I like learning about people and enjoy when people share personal stories and it always just isnt about the latest and greatest product launches.

A good friend of mine Alex Jeffreys does this well.. a lot of what he emails his list about and blogs about is his personal life like the vacations he takes and his lifestyle specifically.

[Kevin Riley]

I just came off from being grilled for an hour by Michael Brown, and this is what we talked about.

I always make sure to provide my list with the kind of information they signed up for, but I also keep it personal. One reason being that I continually think of my list as a collection of people I know well. I know the names of a large portion of those on my list, and I can picture them when I write to them.

I do share my vacations - abroad and here in Japan. Sam Stephens loves my Japan stories. I won't take up much of my newsletter with personal trip info, but I do give a link to see photos on my blog. The response is always great. Helps that everyone loves Rieko (she's more photogenic than me).

BTW, look forward to a lot of photos after we cruise the Cotswolds an then trek the Berner-Oberland in late July.

Another thing I like to do is combine a personal experience with a marketing message. For example, if we go out to a restaurant that might trigger a good idea that could be applied to my list members' own ventures.