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My friends wife died in a fire. Some hard lessons learned.

by George Wright
12 replies
Hi all,

Several months back a friend of mine lost his wife in a house fire.

Needless to mention is the fact that the grief of his tragic loss put his Internet business on hold for a while.

He came to the realization that he and his wife were building something together and so he decided to keep on with his and her dreams.

The problem is, he was the idea man and product creator and she was the computer whiz.

All the passwords to their domain names and websites were taken care of by her. He can't find any records at all.

My advice to him was to get in touch with his registrar (I knew who it is because they used one I recommended) and explain the problem. He should be able to gain access to the URLs so he can redirect his Nameserver settings. His websites are all gone so his hosting must have expired and he has no clue RE: hosting and site building so that part he will have to start from scratch.

Just a reminder to me and to all....

George Wright
#died #friends #hard #learned #lessons #wife
  • Profile picture of the author Ron Douglas
    That's an unthinkable tragedy. Forget websites, I think the more important lesson is to get your house fireproofed as much as possible. Get your electricity checked. Get smoke alarms and fire extinguishers. Be proactive.
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    • Profile picture of the author MichaelHiles
      Originally Posted by Ron Douglas View Post

      That's an unthinkable tragedy. Forget websites, I think the more important lesson is to get your house fireproofed as much as possible. Get your electricity checked. Get smoke alarms and fire extinguishers. Be proactive.
      Agreed. The guy lost far, far more than some passwords. Who gives a crap about that stuff. It can all be replaced. The love of his life cannot.
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      • Profile picture of the author ExRat
        Hi George,

        You can prepare for the worst easily (and help yourself in the process) by using roboform with startup password protection (of roboform) turned on. Put all of your non-banking/non-paypal passwords (to be extra safe) in it and save yourself password headaches while you're still alive.

        Then just add a small explanation of roboform (and their url) and the password and the data on a flash drive to your personal items to be passed to your beneficiary upon your death, along with a record of your more important banking/paypal details etc - problem solved.

        Hi Michael,

        Who gives a crap about that stuff. It can all be replaced. The love of his life cannot
        I appreciate your sentiments, but with respect my opinion is that your beneficiaries/executor WILL give a crap about it, when they find it impossible to -

        a) sort everything out so that they can finally 'put you to bed' and get on with their life

        b) try and get access to your business, so that they can (for example) sell it. If you've ever dealt with this type of thing yourself, you'll know that it's a beaurocratic nightmare - understandably in many cases, because when it comes to squabbling families all trying to get a piece of the pie, people have been known to try and take what isn't rightfully theirs, so solicitors have to be particularly careful who they allow to access things.

        Therefore, trying to get access to logins and financial details from 100s of seperate websites, some of which may either be out of business or uncontactable for a variety of reasons, could lead to your beneficiaries having months of hardship only in order to have to spend your hard earned cash on lining solicitor's pockets.

        Or alternatively, they may be forced to sit and watch while all of the value drains out of your business, customers disappear etc - purely because they couldn't gain control of your business due to legal crap - for example a dispute over the will.

        Those peoples' nerves, time and sanity might not be replaceable.
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        Roger Davis
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by Ron Douglas View Post

      That's an unthinkable tragedy. Forget websites, I think the more important lesson is to get your house fireproofed as much as possible. Get your electricity checked. Get smoke alarms and fire extinguishers. Be proactive.
      Yes I do agree !! But even with unthinkable grief and a long journey of healing , there is the reality tat Life does go on.
      I mean that with the sincerest tone !!

      The reason I say this is because I have yet to really show my wife how to access all my Blogs and Websites and how to access my Registrar accounts, CPA Network accoints, Adsense Acount etc...

      I think we all fall into the mode of operating where we think tomorrow will always be here. But in fact deep down we realize there is a possibility it won't

      Thats why you should produce a detailed blueprint of how to access your accounts and even possibly go as far as detailing how to operate the business without you and present this to your loved ones. Do that or just sit by the Computer and show them directly..

      Its your call but I think your loved ones would appreciate it and deserve it !!
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by Ron Douglas View Post

      That's an unthinkable tragedy. Forget websites, I think the more important lesson is to get your house fireproofed as much as possible. Get your electricity checked. Get smoke alarms and fire extinguishers. Be proactive.
      My sentiments exactly. How tragic. Get off the pc for a minute and give everyone in your family a hug today!
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  • Profile picture of the author JoMo
    Yeah, I am bad about not documenting things like that. I have been intending to create some type of master password/account list. I have been putting it off for too long.
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  • Profile picture of the author morgansmom
    That's extremely tragic and so sad! I couldn't imagine losing my partner like that. It does remind me though that I've been meaning to "will" all my online information to someone I trust in case something happens to me. I think it's a good idea for every one of us to do that, along with making our homes as fire-proof as possible, including a fireproof safe with important info. Better yet, store that info in a safe deposit box outside of the home.
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    If it's not one things it's another.

    I'm extremely sorry for your friends loss.

    In case I get shocked by my sudden death, all my passwords, accounts etc. are in a folder in my desk with instructions for my wife on how to wind things down because she's not going to conduct an online business.


    Tragedy can strike at any moment and as Ron says it's best to be proactive in all matters of life.

    I think Dan Kennedy called it the power of negative preparation when applied to doing business but it can be expanded to other areas of life.

    TL
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    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

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  • Profile picture of the author ildarius
    That's a tragic event, hopefully he will be able to get back on his feet and recover from the event.

    I personally store all passwords in a single google doc file, so my brother and sister both have access to it (but can't modify it), so ALL of the info is in it, banking etc etc less essential passwords are always in roboform
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I agree Roboform is the way to go - but you might take it a step further.

      You can take a copy of all of your roboform data and store it outside your home. For most of us, typing or printing lists of domains, host servers and contact info, recurring payments, memberships, contact info for our outsourcers, etc would take an hour or two. Putting all that in an envelope and placing a copy of it in a safe deposit box or giving it to a trusted relative to store could save weeks of time in the event of a disaster or a death.

      kay
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      • Profile picture of the author smedsribaka
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        I agree Roboform is the way to go - but you might take it a step further.

        You can take a copy of all of your roboform data and store it outside your home. For most of us, typing or printing lists of domains, host servers and contact info, recurring payments, memberships, contact info for our outsourcers, etc would take an hour or two. Putting all that in an envelope and placing a copy of it in a safe deposit box or giving it to a trusted relative to store could save weeks of time in the event of a disaster or a death.

        kay
        I have most of my things in Roboform and I can't live without it. I must have 400-500 entries in there but even with that, my wife would never be able to figure it all out. She can still barely post a photo online, let alone know how to do ANYTHING with my huge list of passwords and websites.

        What I am trying to say is that I need to take some time and show her just what I do because she has no clue whatsoever. It would take me far more than 1 hour to compile all that stuff onto any kind of spreadsheet! It would take 3-4 solid days to do that, but I guess that's what I need to think about-some way to store that stuff in some sort of retrievable fashion for the future.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    Thanks for the headsup George.

    I store lots of passwords in my brain (true - love it) and my wife knows just 20% of what is going on.

    Guess we need to develop a plan, store sensible information and be prepared.

    Fernando
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    People make good money selling to the rich. But the rich got rich selling to the masses.
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