A very personal (and long) story - don't read if you are sensitive.

[PrettyJenny]

Thank you so much for this thread. I opened the window of this thread from yesterday and only got a chance to read it today. I agree that mindset is the most important, I'm also worried too much, and procrastinating at the same time. It's a vicious circle, I don't get things done, and then I'm worried about things not done. And when I'm worried I do nothing..

[SeanyG]

It sounds so basic but: Rich Dad - Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. Every wealthy person I know recommends it. Especially for times of adversity!

[discrat]

Originally Posted by Andyhenry

Hi Warriors,


If you're currently in a negative place where you don't believe your life is likely to get much better - I'd love you to do me a favour. Go outside on a sunny day, give yourself some time to let your mind go blank and just admire nature and remember that life is what you make it. It's not based on the stuff around you. It's not based on the people around you or your education - it's a personal thing between you and the Universe or God. You're not in a competition with anyone - you are the only person who lives your life and you deserve it to be a great one full of love and happiness.

Andy

Andy, I have been here 16 months at Warrior and you really have been one of my biggest inspirations. And this just reinforces that notion. Especially a person who gives $4,000 to help people in one month. That will come back 10 fold to you in the future. And I know you didnt do this for that purpose .

Also the part above you hit right on target. Happiness is truly what is experienced between one's own ears. It is a state of Mind. Why do you think that sometimes you see some of the poorest people who are so thankful and happy in their Lives ?. And then you see multi-millionaires down in the dumps emotionally.

Happiness is not based on those things around you but is based on what is in your head ! and your own relationship with God !

[tomcam]

Andy: Your comments on mindset are powerful and appropriate. I am living the flip side of your situation. I earn 7 figures a year. Half what I earned 2 years ago because my business has been hit hard by the recession and by external forces I cannot control, but still... 7 figures. We live below our means. We have some decent savings, enough to last a year at our present burn rate. Would have more but lost $1.3 million on a startup that failed.

I am a very fortunate man. I have a passel of wonderful children. One is severely retarded. One has spina bifida. One is genius level, and so on. They are all absolute delights. Every day is father's day for me. When our kids smile, it shames the sun. They smile a lot. So I smile a lot when I'm around them.

Our house? A mansion in neighborhood full of mansions. Cars? Mine is the top-level minivan, paid for with cash. She drives a 911 (ditto). If I put pix of my house, cars, etc. on the sales page, it would fit right in with any get-rich-quick stock image. It would be dead accurate, except I made the money outside of IM realms.

My wife can only think about the losses. We have 3 other houses, 2 paid for, but she hates me for not having paid for the 3rd. She is kept awake at night thinking about what we lost in the startup, even though we made the decision to go in on it together. It means our mansion is still on mortgage (we put 20% down and have a good interest rate--but not good enough for her, another failure on my part). That keeps her awake. She is kept awake wondering how our non-genius daughter will earn a living. She is kept awake wondering why God punished her with a retarded child. She is kept awake because after 6 months I am not an expert at IM and don't earn as much at it as I do my day job. Every month or so she unleashes hell on me, spending hours lecturing me for what she perceives my failures to be. These aren't random remarks borne out of momentary frustration. She is surgically accurate in knowing what venom will poison me most. To her, I'm a failure at IM. To me, I'm learning. To her, our retarded boy is a lifelong burden. To me, he is the handsomest, cutest, silliest, most enjoyable boy in the world. (And yes, I take on at least half the child-rearing duties. Always have.)

We live in the same house with the same incredible offspring. To her, life is one disappointment after another. She feels I have failed her utterly. (I run the companies, she is a stay-at-home mom.) I wake up every day happy to be alive and in reasonably good health. I spent last week at Mayo Clinic with my daughter to determine if she needs brain and spinal cord surgery (not yet). The two of us had a great time. She spent a few moments asking "why me", and then it was over. Our daughter knows how to live.

You said it perfectly. Mindset. I had a not-great childhood and came out of it feeling delighted to be my own person. She had a charmed childhood and feels like it's all been downhill from there. No matter how much money we have, she will always be poor. I will always be rich. Mindset.

[discrat]

Originally Posted by tomcam

Andy: Your comments on mindset are powerful and appropriate. I am living the flip side of your situation. I earn 7 figures a year. Half what I earned 2 years ago because my business has been hit hard by the recession and by external forces I cannot control, but still... 7 figures. We live below our means. We have some decent savings, enough to last a year at our present burn rate. Would have more but lost $1.3 million on a startup that failed.

I am a very fortunate man. I have a passel of wonderful children. One is severely retarded. One has spina bifida. One is genius level, and so on. They are all absolute delights. Every day is father's day for me. When our kids smile, it shames the sun. They smile a lot. So I smile a lot when I'm around them.

Our house? A mansion in neighborhood full of mansions. Cars? Mine is the top-level minivan, paid for with cash. She drives a 911 (ditto). If I put pix of my house, cars, etc. on the sales page, it would fit right in with any get-rich-quick stock image. It would be dead accurate, except I made the money outside of IM realms.

My wife can only think about the losses. We have 3 other houses, 2 paid for, but she hates me for not having paid for the 3rd. She is kept awake at night thinking about what we lost in the startup, even though we made the decision to go in on it together. It means our mansion is still on mortgage (we put 20% down and have a good interest rate--but not good enough for her, another failure on my part). That keeps her awake. She is kept awake wondering how our non-genius daughter will earn a living. She is kept awake wondering why God punished her with a retarded child. She is kept awake because after 6 months I am not an expert at IM and don't earn as much at it as I do my day job. Every month or so she unleashes hell on me, spending hours lecturing me for what she perceives my failures to be. These aren't random remarks borne out of momentary frustration. She is surgically accurate in knowing what venom will poison me most. To her, I'm a failure at IM. To me, I'm learning. To her, our retarded boy is a lifelong burden. To me, he is the handsomest, cutest, silliest, most enjoyable boy in the world. (And yes, I take on at least half the child-rearing duties. Always have.)

We live in the same house with the same incredible offspring. To her, life is one disappointment after another. She feels I have failed her utterly. (I run the companies, she is a stay-at-home mom.) I wake up every day happy to be alive and in reasonably good health. I spent last week at Mayo Clinic with my daughter to determine if she needs brain and spinal cord surgery (not yet). The two of us had a great time. She spent a few moments asking "why me", and then it was over. Our daughter knows how to live.

You said it perfectly. Mindset. I had a not-great childhood and came out of it feeling delighted to be my own person. She had a charmed childhood and feels like it's all been downhill from there. No matter how much money we have, she will always be poor. I will always be rich. Mindset.

Wow, what a duel Life you live with. So much Joy on one hand but on the other hand you have to deal with a person who is quite frankly not a joy to live with.

I have to be honest with you my friend. If my Wife was that way I would not continue to be in such a toxic environement. I know you say all it has to do with is your own Mindset . Which I totally agree with. But there are lines that people must draw and just by the tone of your Writing I can tell this toxicity does affect you. Whether that be on a subconscious level or not. And trust me if it hasn't already this toxic environment WILL affect your Children very adversely sooner or later.

To me one of the greatest injustices one can do in Life is to accept the gross and blatant shortcomings of a Life Partner without ever striving for some kind of resolution to rectify the situation.

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by forest_boy001

thank you for sharing that andy, I feel sorry, but at least you've learned a lot.. well, let's just say that, that's God's will.. for you to learn and be a better person. Sometimes, those things happen, we are asking him, why God? why you have to do these to me. But at the end, we will realize that we are the one who became wrong. And he wants us to realize that. Mindset is very important. I agree with you.
I promise I will not spend too much, and save more..
God bless Andy!

That is exactly what I was reminded of and why I posted.

It's my belief that the 'problems' we face are just reminders that we're not in spitual alignment.

Afterall - nothing is a problem until we give it that meaning, which in effect means that there are no problems - unless we create them.

Whenever I see a problem it's a reminder to me that my head is in the wrong place. Which is exactly what happened in this case.

Andy

[Sylvia Meier]

What a wonderful post Andy. And a timely one in my life.

You see I have finally reached a point where I am no longer eligible for the low income suppliments for parents, and just Friday went out and spent my very last one. Come next month, I no longer have that "security" that I have had since my oldest daughter was born...now instead it is all on me, and being the stress ball I usually am, I have been working to change my mindset...because I know being negative, or stressed is just going to leave me drained. Instead I look now at it that I am finally FREE. You see I never realized before in my previous mindset, how much that check was holding me where I was, because when I worked out how much I needed for the month from working, I always subtracted that amount first. Now I look at it that I need the full amount...no longer limiting how much I can make, by how much I needed to make...big difference it has made in my life...in fact in the last week, gross, me and Vince made almost HALF of my entire income last year...it's a mind altering affect when something like that happens.

Thanks again Andy...

and Susan...I had my daughter at 17, just keep being the same great mom to your daughter, and teach her some of this IM stuff and she will be fine. Just get her outta the single, young mom mindset...or it will trap her...

Happy Fathers Day to all you dad's,
Sylvia

[Diana Lane]

One day several years ago, my husband accidentally punctured a water pipe while nailing some loose floorboards down in our bedroom. He'd not long had a breakdown, and his normally stressed-out self was on the 'happy' pills. At that time we were on the point of repossession, and needed to sell the house within a very short time if we were to be left with enough to find ourselves a rental somewhere - damage to the house was something we could do without. I left him sitting there looking quite cheerful - with his finger over the hole - while I frantically phoned around for a plumber.

Some hours later, what turned out to be the most inept plumber in the city was desperately trying to fix his mistake as gallons of water poured through the ceiling (and electric light fitting!) and onto the dining room table, while I stood there tearing my hair out and clutching my soggy accounts and chequebook, which I'd been working with when the tide came in. I'd just hit stress factor ten out of twelve when my husband wandered by, smiled serenely and said casually 'Oh well. These things happen!'

What struck me afterwards was that there had been no point to the angst whatsoever. I think of that day often whenever I can feel myself getting stressed out over something. The outcome is going to be the same whether you're on happy pills or not (the plumber stemmed the flood, the tide went out and we even got the house sold just in the nick of time). Now I just try to ditch the stress and be happy

[Richard Tunnah]

Originally Posted by Sylvia Rolfe

What a wonderful post Andy. And a timely one in my life.

You see I have finally reached a point where I am no longer eligible for the low income suppliments for parents, and just Friday went out and spent my very last one. Come next month, I no longer have that "security" that I have had since my oldest daughter was born...now instead it is all on me, and being the stress ball I usually am, I have been working to change my mindset...because I know being negative, or stressed is just going to leave me drained. Instead I look now at it that I am finally FREE. You see I never realized before in my previous mindset, how much that check was holding me where I was, because when I worked out how much I needed for the month from working, I always subtracted that amount first. Now I look at it that I need the full amount...no longer limiting how much I can make, by how much I needed to make...big difference it has made in my life...in fact in the last week, gross, me and Vince made almost HALF of my entire income last year...it's a mind altering affect when something like that happens.

Thanks again Andy...

and Susan...I had my daughter at 17, just keep being the same great mom to your daughter, and teach her some of this IM stuff and she will be fine. Just get her outta the single, young mom mindset...or it will trap her...

Happy Fathers Day to all you dad's,
Sylvia

Sylvia,
Your daughter must be very young then...3 or 4!

Rich

[Sylvia Meier]

Originally Posted by Richard Tunnah

Sylvia,
Your daughter must be very young then...3 or 4!

Rich

Aww, thank you for making my day...I do have a 3 year old daughter though LOL...shes just the 2 youngest (or fourth oldest..)

Sylvia

[Steven Fullman]

Tomcam,

Thank you. That's all I can say right now.

But I mean it from the heart.

We're all rich. Living and breathing are our rewards.

And that's worth more than all the dollar bills and pound notes we could ever earn.

Thanks for the reminder.

Kind regards,
Steve

[djjayd]

Everyone can relate to Andy's story in some shape or form. We all weren't born with silver spoons in our mouths. We aren't all gifted with a super talent that makes us impervious to life's short comings. We can all learn from one man though. This man everyone knows and I believe should know well. No matter what he always got back up on his feet and kept going. No matter what was thrown at him and what knocked him down, he got back up. In the end, all his efforts paid off and he became a champion. Who was this? Rocky.
It doesn't matter why you got knocked down. Get back up.
Whether or not you screwed up, or got unlucky, or simply slipped. Get back up.

Don't let barriers or shortfalls in your life or business stop you. Get through them, figure them out, believe in yourself. Because in the end its you who decides how your life is going to turn out.

[spookylilgir]

this is all very true you are where you mind sends you ,does that make sense im glad you worked it out and im still in the place where im not saving and go from pay check to pay check but im working on it thank you for the boost hagd

[rohar]

Dear All,

I'm trained in several disciplines, business and life coaching, psychology (BSc Hons), NLP, Time Line therapy, Kinesiology, Tai Chi and teaching. theres more - but not relevant to this discussion.

I recognise many of the names here - I've been their customers in the past.

And I'd like to offer some practical help if I can.

I know lots of individual techniques that can help people deal with worrying, and lots of the other emotional and physical stress that people have encountered.

I'm happy to write posts on which techniques work best in what circumstances.
I realise that people might want to be anonymous so if you PM me with a set of circumstances I'll create a post.

If this seems crass and out of place I apologise for any offense - I find that putting things in black and white gives them a whole new and often unintended dimension.

All the best to all of you and I trust that things will continue to improve.

[DonnaLeona]

Hey Andy,

I used to have a lot of debt and money issues that seemed to show up over and over again.

I realized it was like the story about the pothole in the road that I kept stepping in and twisting my ankle. Every day I step in the same pothole and hurt myself again.

But - I can walk around the pothole instead. Or I can even walk down a different road.

So I decided that I wouldn't hurt myself anymore. This is what I did:

I decided to get all my debt payments on autopilot so I could focus on making money but rest easy knowing all my obligations were being handled on time. I use Paytrust for this.

I do use a debit card but I have another account that I keep the bulk of my money in and only put what I need in the debit account.

Big amounts come out of an account that is not linked to the debit account. Paytrust will pay any bill from any account you want.

Call the bank and make sure they know you don't want the accounts linked.

You can still enjoy the benefits of a debit card - simply manage the account and check it daily. This is better than the dangers of a credit card. What danger? More debt!

I have savings accounts that have money automatically deposited in them weekly. You will be surprised how fast it builds up when it's automated.

I just stopped spending unless I really need to or planned to.

I enjoy the health and budget enhancing habit of eating at home. A nice home cooked meal and a redbox movie is very pleasant. My local thrift store has all the latest bestsellers. I enjoy sitting on my porch reading my thriller with a glass of Trader Joe wine or homemade coffee.

I really enjoy the feeling of knowing that I'm taking care of myself and not living in an "unconscious" way.

When I spend it's a "conscious" decision. Eating out is special again.

I used to think that tracking my spending was boring and I wasn't very good at it. Then I realized that when I track my spending every day I'm actually training my subconscious to take better care of me and my needs.

As my subconscious sees all the amounts spent and the figure I want to spend my whole experience changes and what used to be hard quickly becomes easy.

If you spend very little it makes tracking easier. Do your shopping on one day a week and challenge yourself not to spend money at all on most days.

This is a fun way to live and it feels really good to know you'll never have that gut wrenching stepped-in-the-pothole-again feeling.

Savings and a well stocked pantry allow you to help others in a planned way - old fashioned hospitality because you have enough to share.

Too many of us live like this fragile infrastructure will never break down.

Andy it sounds like you have already started making good changes. For anyone still struggling I'd like to encourage you to take charge of your money no matter what the amount.

Even starting today will make a difference as soon as tomorrow. Don't wait another minute.

Warmly,
Donna