Social skills

disi · 10-16-2009, 06:00 AM

Hi,

Can you recommend me any authors/programs for building up social skills? As IM I am a big individualist...I like to do things on my own. But this attitude sucks in real life...we need other people...we neeed to build connections.

How to build connections? How to be more 'social' in business?

jamespitt · 10-16-2009, 10:58 AM

To be honest, you couldn't go far wrong with reading 'how to make friends and influence people' (How to Win Friends and Influence People - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia has a good overview) by Dale Carnegie. It's very old, but still well worth reading.

Kenster · 10-16-2009, 03:47 PM

Social skills is perhaps the single most important trait in any business. Even online, people tend to think they can hide behind a screen, but to really grow your business you need to be social, mastermind, etc. You need to be able to pick up the phone, go to meetings, etc just like in any other business.

I would recommend just getting a part time job doing something social like being a waiter at a restaurant. After a few months you will build social skills and realize you can make far more money online than being a waiter!

mark z · 10-20-2009, 06:29 PM

I would suggest you
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
by Stephen R. Covey.
You`ll find many great truths about paradigms and controlling your perception.
Highly recommended.

Hyaku_Man · 10-20-2009, 07:09 PM

I really recommend one called "How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People" by Les Giblin. It's a pretty old book, but everything still applies today and I found it really helpful.

Just one tidbit I found especially helpful was the idea of lowering your standards of the words you say. People always worry if they're saying the right thing, or they think they have to say something really great or really funny, and it makes them nervous when they don't have anything great to say, etc. But if you don't put that pressure on yourself to say anything spectacular, then you speak much more naturally even if you're not saying anything amazing. People respond more to that natural and authentic way of talking much more than they respond to the content of what you say.

I like Kenster's suggestion. The first time I really felt that I knew how to communicate with people well was when I worked at a busy movie cinema during my college years. I was usually nervous around people, but at work I had responsibility to help customers and be friendly and make them feel welcome, so I couldn't allow myself to be nervous and I felt great at work. Then I understood that I could be the same way outside of work.

10-16-2009, 06:00 AM	#1
disi HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 173 Thanks: 128 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	Social skills Hi, Can you recommend me any authors/programs for building up social skills? As IM I am a big individualist...I like to do things on my own. But this attitude sucks in real life...we need other people...we neeed to build connections. How to build connections? How to be more 'social' in business?

10-16-2009, 10:58 AM	#2
jamespitt HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: London, England Posts: 251 Thanks: 29 Thanked 32 Times in 27 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Social skills To be honest, you couldn't go far wrong with reading 'how to make friends and influence people' (How to Win Friends and Influence People - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia has a good overview) by Dale Carnegie. It's very old, but still well worth reading.

10-16-2009, 03:47 PM	#3
Kenster Krazy Kenster War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 5,089 Blog Entries: 11 Thanks: 581 Thanked 1,887 Times in 842 Posts	Re: Social skills Social skills is perhaps the single most important trait in any business. Even online, people tend to think they can hide behind a screen, but to really grow your business you need to be social, mastermind, etc. You need to be able to pick up the phone, go to meetings, etc just like in any other business. I would recommend just getting a part time job doing something social like being a waiter at a restaurant. After a few months you will build social skills and realize you can make far more money online than being a waiter!

10-20-2009, 06:29 PM	#4
mark z Banned War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 226 Thanks: 19 Thanked 26 Times in 19 Posts	Re: Social skills I would suggest you The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. You`ll find many great truths about paradigms and controlling your perception. Highly recommended.

10-20-2009, 07:09 PM	#5
Hyaku_Man Zettai Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 318 Thanks: 64 Thanked 21 Times in 19 Posts	Re: Social skills I really recommend one called "How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People" by Les Giblin. It's a pretty old book, but everything still applies today and I found it really helpful. Just one tidbit I found especially helpful was the idea of lowering your standards of the words you say. People always worry if they're saying the right thing, or they think they have to say something really great or really funny, and it makes them nervous when they don't have anything great to say, etc. But if you don't put that pressure on yourself to say anything spectacular, then you speak much more naturally even if you're not saying anything amazing. People respond more to that natural and authentic way of talking much more than they respond to the content of what you say. I like Kenster's suggestion. The first time I really felt that I knew how to communicate with people well was when I worked at a busy movie cinema during my college years. I was usually nervous around people, but at work I had responsibility to help customers and be friendly and make them feel welcome, so I couldn't allow myself to be nervous and I felt great at work. Then I understood that I could be the same way outside of work.
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