Are your words damaging your self esteem?

Vincelog · 12-16-2008, 06:40 AM

Are your words damaging your self esteem?

Our self esteem are defined by our own thoughts of ourselves. Whenever we do a self talk to ourselves, we will either boost our self esteem or lower it, depending on what are the words we use.

Talking to ourselves in a positive way, such as...

1. I am confident.
2. I am able to succeed on what I am going to do.
3. This thing is hard, but it is going to be challenging and I love challenges.

If we talk to ourselves consistently in such positive ways, there is no way for us to have low self esteem because we are always reinforcing the idea that we have great values about ourselves.

But what if we talk to ourselves in this way...

1. They don't like me.
2. I can't do this.
3. I fail every time.

You definitely feel much, much worse whenever you say these to yourself and it does not contribute anything in helping you build your self esteem. More over, most of these thoughts are not true. You won't know who like you or not unless they tell you about it and even if they don't like you, there are still 6 billions of other people to play with, why bother with one?

You won't know whether you can or not do it unless you try and no one fail every time. There are definitely times when you succeeded in doing something. These are the false negative thoughts that you must avoid.

Change your words

The first thing to build self esteem is to change the way you talk to yourself. Always talk to yourself in positive tone instead of negative tone. Do not use extreme words such as "never" or "always".

Find your self a journal and keep track of the negative conversation you have with yourself and jot it down. Analyze your negative thoughts and ask yourself whether is it true. Most probably, most of your negative thoughts are false and can be solve easily.

Write down your good qualities. Jot down at least 10 good qualities you have and use repeat it to yourself constantly until you memorize it. Whenever you feel down and out, just refer back to them and remind yourself of the great qualities you have.

If you are interested in knowing how using words can bring you success, you may be interested in this article of mine, How Changing Your Choice Of Words Can Bring You Success | Hit Your Goals
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

Theaccidentalexpert · 12-16-2008, 12:40 PM

Excellent post! We each have to be our own cheerleaders as well as forgive ourselves when we feel we have said or done something wrong. There is a whole world out there of people who will criticize us, be mean to us, be rude, ignore, defame us, so it's UP TO OURSELVES to be nice when referring to or even thinking about ourselves. You know, if you say something enough, you will believe it to be true, so why not make it positive, uplifting, supportive words!

Mari_Quint · 12-16-2008, 01:23 PM

This post reminds me of the book I purchased called MegaSkills for Kids. It teaches positive self-talk and how to develop the kids to be optimistic adults later on.

Anyway, optimism starts at a young age. The important behavior positivity teaches us is not to give up. It's true that shortcomings weigh us down one way or the other. That shouldn't be the end though. We can perhaps allow ourselves to cry, maybe bleed a little, but not give up in trying again.

Vincelog · 12-17-2008, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Theaccidentalexpert

Excellent post! We each have to be our own cheerleaders as well as forgive ourselves when we feel we have said or done something wrong. There is a whole world out there of people who will criticize us, be mean to us, be rude, ignore, defame us, so it's UP TO OURSELVES to be nice when referring to or even thinking about ourselves. You know, if you say something enough, you will believe it to be true, so why not make it positive, uplifting, supportive words!

I definitely agree that we are our own cheerleaders. We decide how we feel and we will choose words that will uplift us instead of smacking ourselves right in the face.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mari_Quint

This post reminds me of the book I purchased called MegaSkills for Kids. It teaches positive self-talk and how to develop the kids to be optimistic adults later on.

Anyway, optimism starts at a young age. The important behavior positivity teaches us is not to give up. It's true that shortcomings weigh us down one way or the other. That shouldn't be the end though. We can perhaps allow ourselves to cry, maybe bleed a little, but not give up in trying again.

Without giving up there is always hope of succeeding. The story of the tortoise and the hare always remind me not to give up because it can lead to success in the end.

Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

12-16-2008, 06:40 AM	#1
Vincelog HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Singapore Posts: 244 Thanks: 8 Thanked 33 Times in 21 Posts Social Networking	Are your words damaging your self esteem? Are your words damaging your self esteem? Our self esteem are defined by our own thoughts of ourselves. Whenever we do a self talk to ourselves, we will either boost our self esteem or lower it, depending on what are the words we use. Talking to ourselves in a positive way, such as... 1. I am confident. 2. I am able to succeed on what I am going to do. 3. This thing is hard, but it is going to be challenging and I love challenges. If we talk to ourselves consistently in such positive ways, there is no way for us to have low self esteem because we are always reinforcing the idea that we have great values about ourselves. But what if we talk to ourselves in this way... 1. They don't like me. 2. I can't do this. 3. I fail every time. You definitely feel much, much worse whenever you say these to yourself and it does not contribute anything in helping you build your self esteem. More over, most of these thoughts are not true. You won't know who like you or not unless they tell you about it and even if they don't like you, there are still 6 billions of other people to play with, why bother with one? You won't know whether you can or not do it unless you try and no one fail every time. There are definitely times when you succeeded in doing something. These are the false negative thoughts that you must avoid. Change your words The first thing to build self esteem is to change the way you talk to yourself. Always talk to yourself in positive tone instead of negative tone. Do not use extreme words such as "never" or "always". Find your self a journal and keep track of the negative conversation you have with yourself and jot it down. Analyze your negative thoughts and ask yourself whether is it true. Most probably, most of your negative thoughts are false and can be solve easily. Write down your good qualities. Jot down at least 10 good qualities you have and use repeat it to yourself constantly until you memorize it. Whenever you feel down and out, just refer back to them and remind yourself of the great qualities you have. If you are interested in knowing how using words can bring you success, you may be interested in this article of mine, How Changing Your Choice Of Words Can Bring You Success \| Hit Your Goals Cheers Vincent Personal Development Blogger
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12-16-2008, 12:40 PM	#2
Theaccidentalexpert Miss A. Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Boston Posts: 19 Thanks: 7 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Are your words damaging your self esteem? Excellent post! We each have to be our own cheerleaders as well as forgive ourselves when we feel we have said or done something wrong. There is a whole world out there of people who will criticize us, be mean to us, be rude, ignore, defame us, so it's UP TO OURSELVES to be nice when referring to or even thinking about ourselves. You know, if you say something enough, you will believe it to be true, so why not make it positive, uplifting, supportive words!
	Love Yourself... Change Your Life! Yes, it's that easy! My book - Boot Camp for the Broken-Hearted: How to Survive (and Be Happy) in the Jungle of Love - and my advice will show you the way. For more, check out Bootcampforthebrokenhearted.com and theaccidentalexpert.com!

12-16-2008, 01:23 PM	#3
Mari_Quint HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 410 Thanks: 11 Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts	Re: Are your words damaging your self esteem? This post reminds me of the book I purchased called MegaSkills for Kids. It teaches positive self-talk and how to develop the kids to be optimistic adults later on. Anyway, optimism starts at a young age. The important behavior positivity teaches us is not to give up. It's true that shortcomings weigh us down one way or the other. That shouldn't be the end though. We can perhaps allow ourselves to cry, maybe bleed a little, but not give up in trying again.