What if your spouse is negative...

jamsferguson · 03-24-2009, 12:57 PM

Obviously you know more about what you are trying to do and the tools to accomplish it than your wife does. Until she can say"That will never work. Here is why - and this is what to do to make it work", then you are getting feedback from someone less informed than you. Obviously IM is working for SOME people, so you just have to figure out what those people did and not listen to anyone else.
Jim

JeffreyM · 03-24-2009, 01:08 PM

Try to find a way to use this attitude of the spouse as amotivating tool. What a joy it would be if you become a success dispite the negativity. Me, I like when people tell me I can't. That just makes me work harder. As a suggestion though. If you find, for example that your work as an online marketer is met with great challenges as a result of your spouse, then try to work under the radar. That is, try to work when he/she is not around or is occupied. Most online ventures allow for this type of flexibility. Work when the spouse is asleep or out shopping, or playing golf. This would do two things: Remove the distractions, giving you a chance to succeed and save a relationship. Other than that sit down and explain to the spouse, calmly, the importance of your work to you and him/her and how important the support is. you may be surprised.

Bukola · 03-25-2009, 12:01 AM

In situations like this you must mind your vibrational energy and guard yourself from naysayers. Your spouse's negative attitude may come from a lack of understanding in what you are trying to accomplish and this triggers fear in them. Work on communicating what you are trying to do and maybe get them involved somehow; and in time they will come around.

robertstr · 03-25-2009, 04:11 AM

Is your spouse a negative person? Does he or she consistently zero in on what’s wrong with you and the marriage while overlooking the many positives?
Eight Steps to Overcome Negativity
1. Deliberately cultivate friendships with other individuals and couples who have positive attitudes and who are fun to be around. Try to expand you and your spouse’s circle of friends to include couples who would be good role models for your mate and spend time with those couples.
Cut back on spending time with friends who encourage your spouse’s negative comments and attitude and slowly over time try to add individuals and couples who are strong positive influences.
2. Be sure that you have friends, activities, hobbies, and interests in your life that “feed your soul” and help you stay on a positive track. If things in your marriage aren’t what you wish they were, then you need to find satisfaction and joy in other areas to keep you centered and balanced emotionally.
Listen to inspiring songs and read inspirational books. “Feed” yourself a diet of positive messages that encourage and motivate you.
3. Monitor your moods to be sure that you’re not getting tangled up in what are commonly called “co-dependency” issues. That’s when you let your mood be determined and set by someone else.
An example would be if you were depressed all day because your spouse was in a bad mood at breakfast. Just because he’s in a funk doesn’t mean that you can’t have an enjoyable day. You don’t have to let your mate’s mood determine your mood or spoil your day.
Don’t give away your personal power. Take responsibility for creating your own happiness instead of being so influenced by your spouse’s negative attitude.
4. Keep a gratitude journal where you list what you’re thankful for each day. Form the habit of sharing with your spouse things that you’re thankful for. At dinner, for example, you might talk about how helpful the clerk at the grocery store was or tell about the favor a co-worker did for you that you appreciate.
If you’re thankful for seeing a beautiful bird or a lovely flowering tree, share your feelings. If you feel blessed by the kindness of a friend, share that. Even if what you say doesn’t impact your mate, you need to hear yourself expressing gratitude and appreciation for the gifts that you’ve been given. This helps you to keep focused on what’s right with your life instead of what’s wrong with it.
5. Try not to judge your spouse or make him or her “wrong” for being so negative. There are many factors that can influence a person’s attitudes: the attitudes they learned from their parents, their experiences growing up, low self-esteem, intense stress, clinical depression, a habit of negative self-talk, life disappointments and discouragement, and lack of hope.
Sometimes individuals who are negative think they are being “realistic” or helpful by “calling a spade a spade.” Others may think they are witty for delivering clever “zingers” and criticisms.
6. Schedule a time to talk to your partner about your concerns. Without sounding judgmental or “preachy,” give some specific examples of how her (or his) negativity has impacted you significantly. Perhaps your spouse is not even aware of just how negative she has become, or perhaps she is feeling depressed and needs to talk to her doctor or a counselor.
If your spouse reacts in anger, stay calm and non-defensive. State that you’d rather share your feelings now than have them fester underground and cause even more problems later.
7. If nothing changes after your talk with your spouse, write him (or her) a letter outlining your feelings and concerns about your reactions to his negative attitude. State that you want to look forward to your interactions and time with him, but you’re afraid the constant negativity will eventually affect your feelings.
In the letter, tell your spouse how much you value him and your marriage and that you love him deeply. Ask your mate to go to marriage counseling with you so that your marriage will stay strong and satisfying for both of you.
8. If your spouse is not willing to address the problem by talking with you or going to counseling, then make an appointment to see a counselor by yourself. You’ll need support and help in determining just what the next step needs to be—trying again to communicate verbally or in writing, or trying to adjust and live with things as they are, or in an extreme case, considering a temporary marital separation.
Wish you all the best!

billbarrett · 03-25-2009, 07:05 AM

Hi, fortunately my spouse totally supports me in my dreams and intentions.

But if she was talking to me like that - "You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money" - wow... she was going to become un-spoused very soon.

dbarnum · 03-25-2009, 08:06 AM

Turn things around. And get help, as needed, like from a clergy member. Be positive and encourage and reward positive statements from here on out. Charge ahead and change things!

tanya7zhou · 03-25-2009, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross Dalangin

Prove her that you can and that you only need time to make it successful. Let say give you at least 6 months to prove it and let her support you for that months to come. For sure you love her for some reason and don't let her out of your way in just one reason. She may not believe you for an instance but if you can prove her that whatever things you will do will always be successful then all things will go to happy ending. Sometimes it's only in fairy tale but let it happen and believe in yourself always.

Ross

Totally Agree

David0022 · 03-26-2009, 08:58 AM

I must admit...

even though my wife's negative attitude and nagging aggravated
me to no end, they actually helped to work harder to prove to
her that I could succeed in this tough business.

And 2 years later, I started turning a nice profit on a few
of my websites (that certainly quieted her down and even
brought her over to my side!)

Hang in there and never give up.

-David

Samsmiles · 03-26-2009, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaggyjay

Hey Scott,

Boy, that's tough... but it can be overcome.

Buidingfuture's solution is effective, but is that what YOU really want? BTW, judging by Buildingfuture's Avatar, I believe him when he says "I got rid of them" ; )

Shay's solution is great and a reminder to remain humble and determined. But sometimes we do need our partner's support and it's difficult when it's not given.

Ross' solution works, but not always. Sometimes you'll find yourself "spinning your wheels" for someone who's too negative to see that their negativity is affecting you.

Knight's solution is on track, but be careful not to alienate your spouse. If and when you do succeed, you'll remember that your spouse didn't help - and you just may want to exact revenge in the way of a seperation or divorce.

So, what to do?

Do a little bit of all the above. Let your spouse know that you are serious about what you're doing and that you will succeed. In addition let him or her know that what he or she thinks is important to you. So, if they cannot or will not be positive, then OK... just ask them to keep their comments to themselves. But also let them know that YOU still love them.

If you do love your spouse, let them know it. Let them know that in spite of their negativity, that you are more than willing to take them along for ride when you do succeed.

You see... your job is NOT to convince others that you will succeed. That's a distraction. Your job is to convince YOU that you'll succeed. Your job is also to continue to do the daily, mundane things that will bring you success in the end.

Sometimes the very nature of being an entrepreneur is to be ALONE... Misunderstood... Disagreeable... Stubborn... even Unemployable.

Yet you are NOT alone... or misunderstood... or disagreeable... or stubborn... or even unemployable.

You just happen to belong to this great community of like-minded folks.

W-A-R-R-I-O-R-S... and that's what we're here for... to help and support you when other's don't.

Blessings!

- Jay

Hello Jay

What a truly marvellous, positive and very valuable post.

You really have given an example of what 'Warriors' is all about- support for positive, hard working folk with a burning ambition to succeed with whatever they are doing!

There is no other community like us on the net!

Prosperity to us all!

samsmiles

bellynoodle · 03-26-2009, 06:43 PM

My husband is supportive even though I'm still trying to stumble my way through learning everything I need to. He has high hopes of me making us rich lol. I cant imagine anyone would be able to succeed if they didn't have the support of their spouse.

I would think that before you get rid of them however that you tried to explain things better. Maybe the criticism is coming from fear, especially if you are making any hefty investments.

pluto1 · 03-26-2009, 10:56 PM

How about asking her what she would do if she were such a situation, i.e., making money. Not just from internet, but from anywhere. If you were to start any other business, you would be putting same amount of effort and time, if not more.

Sometimes, two people are not on the same wavelength, that doesn't mean you can't talk things through. Take your time, talk about it, and come to mutual conclusion. You need all the support from your spouse to be successful anywhere.

You can also compromise at some point. Did you find out why she is saying all the things, and if she actually means them? Are you spending all your time on the computer, not paying her enough attention? So, try going deep into the core of her heart and understand where she is coming from.

DirectoryKing · 04-02-2009, 09:53 AM

If your spouse is negative, put her out.

raotnv · 04-04-2009, 02:04 AM

Great posts

Melford Bibens · 04-04-2009, 02:04 AM

my old business partner had the super negitive spouse thing going on...

ripperdav · 04-04-2009, 11:50 AM

Wow, that's an interesting post. It's certainly one I can relate to though. One of my ex's was about as pessimistic as they come. Thank god, I'm not with her anymore!

Seriously though, I honestly have always believed that if a person truly loves you, they will support you in whatever it is your "dreams" may be. At least that's the type of person I'm sure we'd all like to have.

It's a tough subject, many people just don't understand what it is that we do as IM's...or they are brought up on the belief that for some reason it's not a real job. Yeah...right..I'm sure most will agree it takes a hell of a lot more perseverance than most jobs out there.

I hope you work it out, but as we also know...you can earn a lot more working for yourself as an IM'er than most jobs out there. If you start to have some great success...and I've seen this before...she will undoubtedly change her tune.

Cheers
Davin

ayolov · 04-04-2009, 12:10 PM

The way we react to comments is a funny thing, sometimes we can take tons of negative comments and they just slip by, but other times, just a slight mention on a certain topic might set us into fury!

Yet, they are all opportunities, what makes us angry helps us understand what we are afraid of (sometimes this is not as clear as someone would think), take advantage of knowing what you are sensitive about and deal with those feelings, this is how you become a better person.

...and only a spouse is able to push those sensitive buttons in seconds!

gee1 · 04-05-2009, 09:02 AM

In SHORT, GET A NEW SPOUSE! ... I'm joking!!!

My spouse was similar, once upon a time. Negative about business, thinking outside the box, anything that might threaten our financial and emotional stability.

UNTIL on day I decided to stop arguing and harshly defending my point of view and started to change my perspective (empathy). She was reacting like that because of reasons ... past situations, experiences, fear, lack of understanding, lack of confidence ... I had to understand that a lady thinks slightly different than a man, in that they fundamentally like security, safety etc etc etc.

So I decided to start talking to her and more importantly listening to her ... listening to the fear and where it came from. Finding out where she saw us in 2 , 4, 10 years from now and helping her to face the worst case situation - if we fail or if I fail.

I helped her also to understand that I was born to live out my full potential and she was too ... and that a person can become very frustrated if they just hold in such aspirations. Many marriages fail because of this (i didnt say that bit though).

Anyway, 7-9 years on she is the one pushing me to greater heights, telly me to push the boat out ... extend our portfolio or whatever and believe me I am no coach potato.

My point ... she started to change - once I did.

Evasan · 04-05-2009, 09:42 AM

Hi

It is a pity that sometimes, spouses have a disturbing and pessimistic attitude regarding the ablity of the other. The best thing during such time is to act and not be bogged down by the negative comments.

Eva

James12C · 04-05-2009, 11:46 AM

Ok - this is the hard part: she isn't going to change! No matter what!

The only thing you can change is how you are about it.

And, it's a big jump from "here" (getting stick") to "there" (being at ease in the face of negativity).

But it isn't you job to change her - just yourself. Work on the small steps - visualisation, much of the stuff that others have said.

And, remember, she loves you.

When that stops - you may have to take the tough decision.

I did.

Mark Smith · 04-07-2009, 11:16 PM

be positive it will eventually rub off and if all else fails ignore

Emily Meeks · 12-11-2009, 02:01 PM

Mine doesn't care about what I say, just what I do.

He doesn't fully understand what I do on here but he knows it has some great potential. He can be quite the negative Nancy, but at the end of the day all he really wants is to see me succeed and do something great with the knowledge I've gained.

This of course has required changing a few ugly habits of my own, which I'm till working through but won't stop till I get there.

Even though things aren't at their peak right now, if I keep at this it really can only get better from here.

03-24-2009, 12:57 PM	#51
jamsferguson Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 53 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Obviously you know more about what you are trying to do and the tools to accomplish it than your wife does. Until she can say"That will never work. Here is why - and this is what to do to make it work", then you are getting feedback from someone less informed than you. Obviously IM is working for SOME people, so you just have to figure out what those people did and not listen to anyone else. Jim

03-24-2009, 01:08 PM	#52
JeffreyM Warrior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 15 Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Try to find a way to use this attitude of the spouse as amotivating tool. What a joy it would be if you become a success dispite the negativity. Me, I like when people tell me I can't. That just makes me work harder. As a suggestion though. If you find, for example that your work as an online marketer is met with great challenges as a result of your spouse, then try to work under the radar. That is, try to work when he/she is not around or is occupied. Most online ventures allow for this type of flexibility. Work when the spouse is asleep or out shopping, or playing golf. This would do two things: Remove the distractions, giving you a chance to succeed and save a relationship. Other than that sit down and explain to the spouse, calmly, the importance of your work to you and him/her and how important the support is. you may be surprised.
	Please read the sig file rules

03-25-2009, 12:01 AM	#53
Bukola Active Warrior Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 31 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... In situations like this you must mind your vibrational energy and guard yourself from naysayers. Your spouse's negative attitude may come from a lack of understanding in what you are trying to accomplish and this triggers fear in them. Work on communicating what you are trying to do and maybe get them involved somehow; and in time they will come around.

03-25-2009, 04:11 AM	#54
robertstr HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Isla de Margarita VE Posts: 124 Thanks: 2 Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Is your spouse a negative person? Does he or she consistently zero in on what’s wrong with you and the marriage while overlooking the many positives? Eight Steps to Overcome Negativity 1. Deliberately cultivate friendships with other individuals and couples who have positive attitudes and who are fun to be around. Try to expand you and your spouse’s circle of friends to include couples who would be good role models for your mate and spend time with those couples. Cut back on spending time with friends who encourage your spouse’s negative comments and attitude and slowly over time try to add individuals and couples who are strong positive influences. 2. Be sure that you have friends, activities, hobbies, and interests in your life that “feed your soul” and help you stay on a positive track. If things in your marriage aren’t what you wish they were, then you need to find satisfaction and joy in other areas to keep you centered and balanced emotionally. Listen to inspiring songs and read inspirational books. “Feed” yourself a diet of positive messages that encourage and motivate you. 3. Monitor your moods to be sure that you’re not getting tangled up in what are commonly called “co-dependency” issues. That’s when you let your mood be determined and set by someone else. An example would be if you were depressed all day because your spouse was in a bad mood at breakfast. Just because he’s in a funk doesn’t mean that you can’t have an enjoyable day. You don’t have to let your mate’s mood determine your mood or spoil your day. Don’t give away your personal power. Take responsibility for creating your own happiness instead of being so influenced by your spouse’s negative attitude. 4. Keep a gratitude journal where you list what you’re thankful for each day. Form the habit of sharing with your spouse things that you’re thankful for. At dinner, for example, you might talk about how helpful the clerk at the grocery store was or tell about the favor a co-worker did for you that you appreciate. If you’re thankful for seeing a beautiful bird or a lovely flowering tree, share your feelings. If you feel blessed by the kindness of a friend, share that. Even if what you say doesn’t impact your mate, you need to hear yourself expressing gratitude and appreciation for the gifts that you’ve been given. This helps you to keep focused on what’s right with your life instead of what’s wrong with it. 5. Try not to judge your spouse or make him or her “wrong” for being so negative. There are many factors that can influence a person’s attitudes: the attitudes they learned from their parents, their experiences growing up, low self-esteem, intense stress, clinical depression, a habit of negative self-talk, life disappointments and discouragement, and lack of hope. Sometimes individuals who are negative think they are being “realistic” or helpful by “calling a spade a spade.” Others may think they are witty for delivering clever “zingers” and criticisms. 6. Schedule a time to talk to your partner about your concerns. Without sounding judgmental or “preachy,” give some specific examples of how her (or his) negativity has impacted you significantly. Perhaps your spouse is not even aware of just how negative she has become, or perhaps she is feeling depressed and needs to talk to her doctor or a counselor. If your spouse reacts in anger, stay calm and non-defensive. State that you’d rather share your feelings now than have them fester underground and cause even more problems later. 7. If nothing changes after your talk with your spouse, write him (or her) a letter outlining your feelings and concerns about your reactions to his negative attitude. State that you want to look forward to your interactions and time with him, but you’re afraid the constant negativity will eventually affect your feelings. In the letter, tell your spouse how much you value him and your marriage and that you love him deeply. Ask your mate to go to marriage counseling with you so that your marriage will stay strong and satisfying for both of you. 8. If your spouse is not willing to address the problem by talking with you or going to counseling, then make an appointment to see a counselor by yourself. You’ll need support and help in determining just what the next step needs to be—trying again to communicate verbally or in writing, or trying to adjust and live with things as they are, or in an extreme case, considering a temporary marital separation. Wish you all the best!

03-25-2009, 07:05 AM	#55
billbarrett Bill Barrett War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 132 Thanks: 64 Thanked 13 Times in 10 Posts Social Networking	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Hi, fortunately my spouse totally supports me in my dreams and intentions. But if she was talking to me like that - "You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money" - wow... she was going to become un-spoused very soon.

03-25-2009, 08:06 AM	#56
dbarnum Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ohio, USA. Posts: 5,696 Blog Entries: 46 Thanks: 185 Thanked 144 Times in 110 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Turn things around. And get help, as needed, like from a clergy member. Be positive and encourage and reward positive statements from here on out. Charge ahead and change things!
	Need help? 100+ Ways / Support / Fiverr / Rootbeer Break / Warrior4Hire Specials! Get customized help: Give us a try, check out & bookmark: MAP / Top Tasks at: 2011 / our blog

03-26-2009, 08:58 AM	#58
David0022 Active Warrior Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Japan Posts: 93 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... I must admit... even though my wife's negative attitude and nagging aggravated me to no end, they actually helped to work harder to prove to her that I could succeed in this tough business. And 2 years later, I started turning a nice profit on a few of my websites (that certainly quieted her down and even brought her over to my side!) Hang in there and never give up. -David
	Visit my blog: >> Newbie Website Design <<

03-26-2009, 06:43 PM	#60
bellynoodle Active Warrior Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York Posts: 31 Thanks: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... My husband is supportive even though I'm still trying to stumble my way through learning everything I need to. He has high hopes of me making us rich lol. I cant imagine anyone would be able to succeed if they didn't have the support of their spouse. I would think that before you get rid of them however that you tried to explain things better. Maybe the criticism is coming from fear, especially if you are making any hefty investments.

03-26-2009, 10:56 PM	#61
pluto1 HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 201 Thanks: 6 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... How about asking her what she would do if she were such a situation, i.e., making money. Not just from internet, but from anywhere. If you were to start any other business, you would be putting same amount of effort and time, if not more. Sometimes, two people are not on the same wavelength, that doesn't mean you can't talk things through. Take your time, talk about it, and come to mutual conclusion. You need all the support from your spouse to be successful anywhere. You can also compromise at some point. Did you find out why she is saying all the things, and if she actually means them? Are you spending all your time on the computer, not paying her enough attention? So, try going deep into the core of her heart and understand where she is coming from.

04-02-2009, 09:53 AM	#62
DirectoryKing HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: USA Posts: 101 Thanks: 19 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Social Networking Contact Info	Re: What if your spouse is negative... If your spouse is negative, put her out.

04-04-2009, 02:04 AM	#63
raotnv Warrior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 20 Thanks: 7 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Great posts

04-04-2009, 02:04 AM	#64
Melford Bibens HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Sarasota FL... A.K.A. Paradise Posts: 170 Thanks: 1 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: What if your spouse is negative... my old business partner had the super negitive spouse thing going on...
	http://MassProfitSites.com http://TotalFatLossFormula.com http://UltimateCashBlueprint.com http://CashMakingPowerSites.com http://CashMakingAffiliateSites.com http://TaxLiensMadeEasy.com

04-04-2009, 11:50 AM	#65
ripperdav JV/Affiliate Relations War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Kimberley, BC Canada Posts: 101 Thanks: 14 Thanked 18 Times in 15 Posts Contact Info	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Wow, that's an interesting post. It's certainly one I can relate to though. One of my ex's was about as pessimistic as they come. Thank god, I'm not with her anymore! Seriously though, I honestly have always believed that if a person truly loves you, they will support you in whatever it is your "dreams" may be. At least that's the type of person I'm sure we'd all like to have. It's a tough subject, many people just don't understand what it is that we do as IM's...or they are brought up on the belief that for some reason it's not a real job. Yeah...right..I'm sure most will agree it takes a hell of a lot more perseverance than most jobs out there. I hope you work it out, but as we also know...you can earn a lot more working for yourself as an IM'er than most jobs out there. If you start to have some great success...and I've seen this before...she will undoubtedly change her tune. Cheers Davin
	Kick The Butt Of The #1 Problem Killing Most Niche Marketers Dreams.. REVEALED - Get Laser Focused, Stop Procrastinating and Get Things Done! Wanna Be In The 5% Success Club? Click Here NOW

04-04-2009, 12:10 PM	#66
ayolov HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Aguascalientes, Mexico Posts: 146 Thanks: 92 Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... The way we react to comments is a funny thing, sometimes we can take tons of negative comments and they just slip by, but other times, just a slight mention on a certain topic might set us into fury! Yet, they are all opportunities, what makes us angry helps us understand what we are afraid of (sometimes this is not as clear as someone would think), take advantage of knowing what you are sensitive about and deal with those feelings, this is how you become a better person. ...and only a spouse is able to push those sensitive buttons in seconds!

04-05-2009, 09:02 AM	#67
gee1 Active Warrior Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 54 Thanks: 2 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... In SHORT, GET A NEW SPOUSE! ... I'm joking!!! My spouse was similar, once upon a time. Negative about business, thinking outside the box, anything that might threaten our financial and emotional stability. UNTIL on day I decided to stop arguing and harshly defending my point of view and started to change my perspective (empathy). She was reacting like that because of reasons ... past situations, experiences, fear, lack of understanding, lack of confidence ... I had to understand that a lady thinks slightly different than a man, in that they fundamentally like security, safety etc etc etc. So I decided to start talking to her and more importantly listening to her ... listening to the fear and where it came from. Finding out where she saw us in 2 , 4, 10 years from now and helping her to face the worst case situation - if we fail or if I fail. I helped her also to understand that I was born to live out my full potential and she was too ... and that a person can become very frustrated if they just hold in such aspirations. Many marriages fail because of this (i didnt say that bit though). Anyway, 7-9 years on she is the one pushing me to greater heights, telly me to push the boat out ... extend our portfolio or whatever and believe me I am no coach potato. My point ... she started to change - once I did.

04-05-2009, 09:42 AM	#68
Evasan Warrior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Hi It is a pity that sometimes, spouses have a disturbing and pessimistic attitude regarding the ablity of the other. The best thing during such time is to act and not be bogged down by the negative comments. Eva

04-05-2009, 11:46 AM	#69
James12C HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Bristol, UK, and Italy. Posts: 303 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 26 Thanked 35 Times in 25 Posts Social Networking	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Ok - this is the hard part: she isn't going to change! No matter what! The only thing you can change is how you are about it. And, it's a big jump from "here" (getting stick") to "there" (being at ease in the face of negativity). But it isn't you job to change her - just yourself. Work on the small steps - visualisation, much of the stuff that others have said. And, remember, she loves you. When that stops - you may have to take the tough decision. I did.
	Frustrated beginner? Check out my FREE 4-part, 6 bonus LIST BUILDING COURSE Follow me on Twitter AND my Blog

04-07-2009, 11:16 PM	#70
Mark Smith Warrior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 27 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: What if your spouse is negative... be positive it will eventually rub off and if all else fails ignore

12-11-2009, 02:01 PM	#71
Emily Meeks Innovative Revelation War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 1,020 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 714 Thanked 269 Times in 180 Posts Contact Info	Re: What if your spouse is negative... Mine doesn't care about what I say, just what I do. He doesn't fully understand what I do on here but he knows it has some great potential. He can be quite the negative Nancy, but at the end of the day all he really wants is to see me succeed and do something great with the knowledge I've gained. This of course has required changing a few ugly habits of my own, which I'm till working through but won't stop till I get there. Even though things aren't at their peak right now, if I keep at this it really can only get better from here.
	In all that you do, know your True INTENT...