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Old 02-22-2009, 08:18 PM   #1
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Default What if your spouse is negative...

They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.

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Old 02-22-2009, 08:20 PM   #2
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post
They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.

I got rid of them. :P

No need in keeping around someone who won't support you in everything you do.

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Old 02-22-2009, 08:26 PM   #3
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

I am blessed with a very supportive husband, but my ex was very negative.

My only advice is to keep your dreams to yourself and guard them in your heart.

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Old 02-22-2009, 08:35 PM   #4
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post
They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.
Prove her that you can and that you only need time to make it successful. Let say give you at least 6 months to prove it and let her support you for that months to come. For sure you love her for some reason and don't let her out of your way in just one reason. She may not believe you for an instance but if you can prove her that whatever things you will do will always be successful then all things will go to happy ending. Sometimes it's only in fairy tale but let it happen and believe in yourself always.

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Old 02-22-2009, 09:18 PM   #5
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Depending on your relationship with your spouse, it should not matter if they are negative.

Simply let them know that this is something you believe in, and that you are going to do, with or without there help. And let them know that you would prefer to do it with them, but that if they are going to be negative, energy and emotional draining, then you would like them to keep that to themselves.

If you cannot get positive help from your spouse, then get her to be less negative.

Also, you can get more suport from those people who will be positive. When you have started to make money, then you can work on getting her to come around to your side. Some people simply need more proof or are more skeptical then others.

Think of the old "can't see it, so I don't beleive it" issue. When you show her a check for a few grand then she will see it, and believe.

It is not impossible to do it without her, just harder.

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Old 02-23-2009, 08:39 PM   #6
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

There are times that you cannot get rid of some negative people, whether they be a spouse, parent, sibling etc. In cases like this, I think that you will need to concentrate on yourself rather than the other person.

Instead of looking to the other person for support and approval, work on yourself and ensure that you are strong enough to deal with their negativity, even if it means learning to ignore it. You need to remember that when we take full responsibility of our lives, we CHOOSE how to react to the comments of others and choose what to let bother us or not. It may be best to find ways to let comments from the spouse in question run off you like water off a ducks back.

I also believe that it is a matter of respect, and when it comes to others, especially a spouse, they should have enough respect for each other not to be down on something that the other person does, just because it does not fall in line with their beliefs. I don't believe in pushing beliefs onto another who is not interested and that goes both ways. Those who believe should not push it on non-believers, whilst non-believers should not try to change the mind of believers, however, saying that, I do find that not always to be the case and have experienced myself, the belittling attempts of non-believers, trying to make fun of beliefs they do not understand.

If there is enough respect, this should not a problem. If the respect is not so great, then it is up to the individual (if they don't want to leave of course) to find a way to change themselves (as they cannot change another person) and deal with it.

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Old 02-23-2009, 10:33 PM   #7
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Concentrate on getting nice, big checks in the mail. That's probably the best answer to a spouse's doubt and negativity.

Also, there's a difference between concern ("Are you sure this is the best course?" "Is it legal?" etc.) and being hurtful ("You'll never succeed, you're wasting your time"). A good spouse should at least hear you out and let you try.

If a negative spouse keeps trying to belittle your efforts, then a little discussion is in order. "Honey, you can think whatever you like, as long as you just stow it!" Only find a nicer way to say it.
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Old 02-23-2009, 11:28 PM   #8
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Hey Scott,

Boy, that's tough... but it can be overcome.

Buidingfuture's solution is effective, but is that what YOU really want? BTW, judging by Buildingfuture's Avatar, I believe him when he says "I got rid of them" ; )

Shay's solution is great and a reminder to remain humble and determined. But sometimes we do need our partner's support and it's difficult when it's not given.

Ross' solution works, but not always. Sometimes you'll find yourself "spinning your wheels" for someone who's too negative to see that their negativity is affecting you.

Knight's solution is on track, but be careful not to alienate your spouse. If and when you do succeed, you'll remember that your spouse didn't help - and you just may want to exact revenge in the way of a seperation or divorce.

So, what to do?

Do a little bit of all the above. Let your spouse know that you are serious about what you're doing and that you will succeed. In addition let him or her know that what he or she thinks is important to you. So, if they cannot or will not be positive, then OK... just ask them to keep their comments to themselves. But also let them know that YOU still love them.

If you do love your spouse, let them know it. Let them know that in spite of their negativity, that you are more than willing to take them along for ride when you do succeed.

You see... your job is NOT to convince others that you will succeed. That's a distraction. Your job is to convince YOU that you'll succeed. Your job is also to continue to do the daily, mundane things that will bring you success in the end.

Sometimes the very nature of being an entrepreneur is to be ALONE... Misunderstood... Disagreeable... Stubborn... even Unemployable.

Yet you are NOT alone... or misunderstood... or disagreeable... or stubborn... or even unemployable.

You just happen to belong to this great community of like-minded folks.

W-A-R-R-I-O-R-S... and that's what we're here for... to help and support you when other's don't.

Blessings!

- Jay

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Old 02-23-2009, 11:45 PM   #9
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

i also have a very supportive wife too, although since i sometimes make daily what she can earn sometimes in a month she doesnt mind too much

i can imagine it must be difficult if you dont have a supportive partner, but find a method you like and think you can implement and then do it... if you can show $$$ even a little it makes people understand a little better

it is a tough one - however i personally cant imagine being with someone who couldnt give me that support and where i would have to compromise my goals and dreams, i would never ask that of my partner, however in the case of money being an issue i would go out and get temporary work if i really had too...


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Old 02-23-2009, 11:47 PM   #10
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaggyjay View Post
Hey Scott,

Boy, that's tough... but it can be overcome.

Buidingfuture's solution is effective, but is that what YOU really want? BTW, judging by Buildingfuture's Avatar, I believe him when he says "I got rid of them" ; )

Shay's solution is great and a reminder to remain humble and determined. But sometimes we do need our partner's support and it's difficult when it's not given.

Ross' solution works, but not always. Sometimes you'll find yourself "spinning your wheels" for someone who's too negative to see that their negativity is affecting you.

Knight's solution is on track, but be careful not to alienate your spouse. If and when you do succeed, you'll remember that your spouse didn't help - and you just may want to exact revenge in the way of a seperation or divorce.

So, what to do?

Do a little bit of all the above. Let your spouse know that you are serious about what you're doing and that you will succeed. In addition let him or her know that what he or she thinks is important to you. So, if they cannot or will not be positive, then OK... just ask them to keep their comments to themselves. But also let them know that YOU still love them.

If you do love your spouse, let them know it. Let them know that in spite of their negativity, that you are more than willing to take them along for ride when you do succeed.

You see... your job is NOT to convince others that you will succeed. That's a distraction. Your job is to convince YOU that you'll succeed. Your job is also to continue to do the daily, mundane things that will bring you success in the end.

Sometimes the very nature of being an entrepreneur is to be ALONE... Misunderstood... Disagreeable... Stubborn... even Unemployable.

Yet you are NOT alone... or misunderstood... or disagreeable... or stubborn... or even unemployable.

You just happen to belong to this great community of like-minded folks.

W-A-R-R-I-O-R-S... and that's what we're here for... to help and support you when other's don't.

Blessings!

- Jay
I would say on top of this, you'll need to work on your inner being. Try internal affirmations and ways to "let go" of the negativity that surrounds you. Although you can not change someone else, if you decide to stay in the relationship, you'll need to learn to deal with the negative environment so it does not absorb you.

The last thing you want is to be filled with low self esteem, self doubt, and insecurities from what others have said. I'm working on a few of these techniques myself and it has been a beneficial force to keep me positive and focused with my goals even while being surrounded by a not so favorable environment.

Many peace and blessings to you.

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Old 02-24-2009, 01:44 AM   #11
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

That's a really uncomfortable place to be in. On one hand, you love this person and need them to be supportive. On the other hand, their lack of support, complaints and criticism is sucking the life and energy out of you. There is only one thing you can do.

Win and win BIG.

An unsupportive spouse is not a good reason to get a divorce. Your wife discourages you the way she does to instill mental toughness within you. With every negative comment, your resolve for success should increase. As she criticizes you for wasting time, money energy and hope, you should be thinking of new ideas to implement.

Scott, don't let anyone steal your dream. Allow me to conclude with this quote. Both Bishop TD Jakes and Brian Tracy says the same thing almost verbatim: "The very fact that you even have a dream is evidence that you have what it takes to achieve it."

Achieve your dream and prove your wife wrong.
Good luck!

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Old 02-24-2009, 01:48 AM   #12
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

I like to positivity of this post. Thanks Jay

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Old 02-24-2009, 02:00 AM   #13
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Wow!! Scott you are one very lucky person to have all these Warriors behind you all the way.Here you have more than enough support to go by.
All the best.
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Old 02-24-2009, 03:28 AM   #14
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

i think with spouses you make the little successes happen first and prove to them that you're going to follow through when it comes to the bigger projects. also make sure, if you can, to wait and tell them about a venture once it's successful and off the ground. i know it is tough at first but trying is not good enough. we must get things done and prove to our spouses that we mean business!
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Old 02-24-2009, 04:16 PM   #15
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

You have to know yourself and your spouse to choose the best solution. There are some good ideas above, such as asking for support or asking for less-negativity, at least for some period of time and countering that negative voice in your life with positive ones -- here at Warrior Forum or elsewhere.

For me, I know I can be derailed, or slowed-way down by the wrong statement from my husband. So, I largely keep my plans to myself. There is little external difference to him or my sons to when I am doing my day job (on the computer) or online marketing or writing children's stories. I'll get up really early when no one is there to look over my shoulder.

I have one friend, who is not in internet marketing, but to whom I tell all my ideas to. I don't necessarily get positive feedback, other than comments about admiring my ambition and drive, but it's nice to at least get that and share your ideas.

Good luck. As said above, an unsupportive spouse makes it harder, but not impossible.

You can do this!

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Old 02-25-2009, 02:32 AM   #16
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Obviously a touchy subject. Many times, we get into
marriages thinking that the other is one person only to
find out that they are NOT quite what we signed up for.

I have a colleague who once shared is view point with me
after telling him that I had gotten a divorce. He said...

"The second marriage is always better because you go into
it knowing exactly what you DON'T want."

Simple statement with profound implications. Chances are,
quite a few of us in here who are either on our second go around
or at least done with our first are folks who have realized this
one important fact.

From experience, those feelings never really go away, no matter
how hard both of you try and no matter how much he/she says
so. It truly takes a constant effort from the beginning BEFORE
things go sour to avoid such problems coming up. This at least
better prepares you for when they do.

I, like many others before me, took that initial advice you gave,
Scott. If I don't want to associate with negative people professionally,
why would I want to put up with it when I came home every night?

It's a tough call, man. I hope you can work it out with the best outcome
for everyone.

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Old 02-25-2009, 09:36 AM   #17
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

For me, negative people are a big challenge, they doesn't hinder you to succeed but instead they are a great motivator. By proving them wrong is a big challenge to undertake, but once proven then you have a deep breathe to grasp.

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Old 03-01-2009, 04:13 PM   #18
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Take an interest in your partner's hobbies, interests and spend 'quality time' together.
Make your partner understand your drive and passion for your chosen field. Try to get them involved in your work.
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Old 03-01-2009, 04:21 PM   #19
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

That has to got to be a big test of any relationship (understatement here I know) but try and understand where they are coming from.It may be that they simply don't have the vision and ambition that you have.

Look on the upside. If you can convince them that you are going to succeed then think how much easier it is going to be with potential customers.
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Old 03-01-2009, 08:37 PM   #20
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaggyjay View Post

You see... your job is NOT to convince others that you will succeed. That's a distraction. Your job is to convince YOU that you'll succeed. Your job is also to continue to do the daily, mundane things that will bring you success in the end.

Sometimes the very nature of being an entrepreneur is to be ALONE... Misunderstood... Disagreeable... Stubborn... even Unemployable.

Yet you are NOT alone... or misunderstood... or disagreeable... or stubborn... or even unemployable.
Jaggyjay has a major point here. Great post!btw...

The thing about being an entrepreneur (especially online) is that not many people look at things the same way you do/we do, and not many people can see your plan the way you do. It is because of that, you shouldn't push your wife away, but instead understand that she is pretty much in the dark for now. You will prove her wrong when the money starts racking in.

But until then just make sure that you know for yourself that you will be successful.
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Old 03-01-2009, 09:34 PM   #21
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post
They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.
Only if you listen to them and allow their thoughts define WHO you are. My ex tried and tried and tried (and still tries lol) to impose his thoughts on me but I chose not to accept them because I AM the one who defines & creates WHO I AM. Although I wasn't "aware" of it at the time I have since realized that the negativity that others project & unload on us are more reflections of their own inner turmoil & how they see themself.

I choose to only have people in my life who add value to it and support my growth, goals, & dreams

btw..if you are interested, pm me and I will share a technique I've learned to help deal with people's negativity

I CHOOSE to re-create MYSELF anew every single moment and experience the GRANDEST VERSION of the GREATEST VISION I have about WHO I AM!
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:20 PM   #22
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post
They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.
Hey Scott,

After reading the posts on this page, you'd probably realize that there's 2 main approaches one can take:

1. Do one's best and prove her wrong
2. Leave her

But whatever it is, trust your dreams and never falter. Take at least 15 minutes to listen to motivational talks so that you can maintain your sanity and enthusiasm.

just my 2 cents,
Dominic

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Old 03-01-2009, 11:24 PM   #23
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post
They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.
Don't worry about changing your spouse. The only person you can change is yourself. Your spouse is but a mirror of yourself.

Change yourself and everyone one else will change.
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:25 AM   #24
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Tha's great advice Mandy, I'd like to add that simply 'getting rid' is just a temporary solution. This is definately a challenge for you but in many ways an opportunity to develop your 'inner' self and really build your personality and mental strength

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Old 03-02-2009, 08:12 AM   #25
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

i always maintain that you should not let your dreams go due to anyone that doesnt support you....wake up everyday and work at making that dream come true.....
There are 2 kinds of people....the critics and the performers....
you will always find that the critics are those that only talk....
whilst the performers get down to taking action.....

Just keep on taking action....your reward is on the horizon....

have a fabulous day....

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Old 03-02-2009, 12:59 PM   #26
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Most of this advice is really good, and all has the same basic concept -keep working on yourself.

As you focus on changing YOUR mindset and being positive, one of two things will happen:
1) The negative person (spouse, relative, friend) will begin to change too... your vibration will rise and will cause theirs too as well
2) The negative person will leave

I have had many friends and relatives that were not as quick to evolve as we have been, and they have all caused their own distance. Its been really interesting to watch how some people just can't STAND to be in our home because the energy is so powerful and peaceful... they can't sit still, can't relax and come up with an excuse to leave quickly.

Some of these people just WON'T change, so they just have faded out of our lives. Others have started getting more positive and are beginning to enjoy being around us... they are calmer, more peaceful, shinier, etc... Its an interesting progression to watch.

My wife is my best friend, my business partner and my chief counsel... but she is #2 after Divine source. Everything is. Having the right priorities makes things better.

You will attract the people that you need and repel the ones you don't... or actually change them if they need to stick around.

One more story:
I met a friend of a friend a few years ago... he was known for being really sarcastic and kind of an a$$. The moment I met him, he made a remark that was caustic and negative... I just kind of laughed it off, looked into his eyes and told him it was nice to meet him.

He changed immediately and we had a really great conversation. Now, this guy is still an a$$ and rubs most people the wrong way.... but the few times I have seen him since, he always is very kind and sincere with me and my family... it amazes the people around us.

The point is that I set my intention when I met him... I was not going to attack him or return any venom (which is a self-defense mechanism), so he felt safe. He read my energy and RESPONDED with the same thing.

Now starting that pattern with a new person is easier than with someone you know really well and have really established patterns with... but it is all possible

BOTTOM LINE: Focus on your own growth and work to drop any judgements or hostilities you may have about the negative person. If they care for you and are meant to be with you, then they will change. Otherwise, they will float away.

regards,
Ron

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Old 03-03-2009, 07:33 AM   #27
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Do not hang around negative people. Like Brian Tracy always says, "You cant fly with the eagles, if you scratch with the turkeys." Or something like that.
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Old 03-03-2009, 08:01 AM   #28
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Hey Scott,

Man it can be hard. My ex missus was like that and I had to end it. It's a bit harder when it's your wife, not saying that you want to end it. It was just not good for my mindset.
What I would advise is to sit down and have a good heart to heart with her. Advise her that you need her support, that you are taking a risk, and that life is about taking risks. In order for you to succeed you need her to support you even if she doesn't believe what you are doing is right. Let her know that it is something that you really desire.
Also like it was posted earlier give her a time limit and set a goal to do something really great and/or romantic when you achieve your goals. Don't put too much pressure on yourself though.
Have a good chat though and let her know how it is effecting your mindset. Even possibly get her a book. I've got 24 free ebooks on my blog you can download, titles like think and grow rich, the science of getting rich, as a man thinketh, you were born rich and many others. So maybe download some of those and give them to her, it wouldnt be bad for yourself either.
Hope that helps mate,
Sean

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Old 03-03-2009, 08:52 AM   #29
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

If my spouse was negative I would first sit her down and explain to her my goals and the reason for wanting to achieve the goals. When you become successful in your own Internet Marketing business she benefits also.

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Old 03-03-2009, 10:01 AM   #30
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by naruq View Post
If my spouse was negative I would first sit her down and explain to her my goals and the reason for wanting to achieve the goals. When you become successful in your own Internet Marketing business she benefits also.
Haha... That's interesting. Maybe it just means she'll have more money for shopping!

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Old 03-05-2009, 03:25 PM   #31
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post
They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.
It's only a "big drag on your success" if you allow it to be, and let it come between you and your dream.

This sounds like a situation I was in about 7 years ago between my fiance (now my ex), and her mom (who was the epitome of negative energy suckers world-wide). Anyway..

You have three options, not just two:

1. Share your dream with her. She can choose to be with you (support you), or against you. But there is NOTHING that, she, or anyone else can do that will stop you from achieving your dream.

If she chooses the latter, you'll have to decide for yourself to..

2. Leave and cut the negative binds that are preventing the success and happiness you want. End it now, not later, so you can move forward in more positive directions.

3. If she agrees to support you, tell her what's expected of her, and how important it is to you, to have a loving partner that encourages your dreams. If at any time she does not support you, see step 2.

This video will help you put your goals back in alignment. The title is of little importance because the power of this message can be applied to ANY dream you have. Depending how bad you want success & abundance in your life, you'll see the parallel of thought for your situation.

Key points to pay particular attention to:

1:27- 1:38
2:53- Ending (again, replace the current subject of the video, to the situation between you and your spouse, so you can draw the parallel)


Grant
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:30 PM   #32
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

I think if I had a spouse who was not warm to internet marketing I would take one of the things they cared most about, whether it was a favorite cause, or favorite animal, or favorite place, even favorite foods/recipes and create a website or blog and show them just how fun and maybe even profitable it could be.

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Old 03-05-2009, 09:56 PM   #33
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Grant... The video you shared has such an incredible message that applies to far more to all areas in life than just the topic that was being addressed. Thank you for getting me hooked on the Abraham videos now

I was watching some of the other Abraham vids and came across the one below. Thought I would like to share because I think it also provides great food for thought and possibly some insightful into what you are experiencing Scott (and your wife).

It also made me remember something I had read in Conversations with God about relationships (p. 124):

Walsch: Okay. So I want to find the tools for a long-term relationship-and you say entering relationships purposefully is one of them.

God: Yes. Be sure you and your mate agree on purpose. If you both agree at a conscious level that the purpose of your relationship is to create an opportunity, not an obligation-an opportunity for growth, for full Self expression, for llifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing ever false thought or small idea you ever had about you, and for ultimate reunion with God through communion of your two souls-if you take that vow instead of the vows you've been taking-the relationship has begun on a very good note. It's gotten off on the right foot. That's a very good beginning.

I have experienced spousal negativity to the nth degree and I know how it can wear and drag you down, but those experiences made me stronger and served to strengthen my personal power into making the move ..and using some of the thoughts from the vid Grant shared...to " I hit the ground running and here I AM...being as I be and thinking the thoughts that give me the resonance of that...LIVING my dream and BEING me."

And, in doing that I have been able to finally experience a co-creating and purposeful relationship...and I can affirm..little else compares to the incredible SOURCE of energy that resonates within it. My thoughts, lots of positive energy, and prayers are with you Scott.
Namaste,
bj

I CHOOSE to re-create MYSELF anew every single moment and experience the GRANDEST VERSION of the GREATEST VISION I have about WHO I AM!
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Old 03-06-2009, 12:19 AM   #34
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

I have a different problem.....my spouse is totally computer illiterate and cant understand what Im doing!
He tries to be supportive but actually gets jealous of the machine!
At least he tries - and thats all I can ask.
If your spouse is not supportive of your own personal goals and dreams - get one that is!

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Old 03-08-2009, 06:39 PM   #35
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Kymmy,

You mean.."You pay more attention to that damn computer than you do with me"?

(ooops! Take out the word "with" and suddenly that phrase has a whole new meaning) Or is that exactly the point of this thread..

Being supportive of each others dreams, and accepting people for who they wish to become?

Grant
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Old 03-08-2009, 07:07 PM   #36
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Hi

You need to ask yourself if both of you are coming from a place of fear or love. Your spouse fears for her/your future and maybe your individual or joint security and is risking the state of your relationship by broaching the subject.

Maybe it's not negative, but an act of caring.

That doesn't mean you should agree - (that's still in your hands - or maybe your heart), but it might help you to see things a little differently.

She has a lot more to lose than any other friend would if your dreams don't work out - and it's hard to sell your spouse your faith in yourself!

Which is the other, (dare I say it), question ... Is there a tiny part of you somewhere that's afraid her negativity might be justified? If so, you need to do some inner work on your level of self confidence. When you get there, she'll stop being "negative" because she'll feel the sea change!

Good luck - it's a hard balancing act. (I've done it too!)

All good things
Trev.

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Old 03-08-2009, 07:46 PM   #37
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

To be honest all negativity made me stronger. Geez its tough when it's coming from someone that is supposed to SUPPORT you for wanting a better life.

If I were in your situation my biggest obstacle would be to prove them wrong.
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Old 03-08-2009, 07:55 PM   #38
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post
They say to get rid of friends that pull you down, are negative, and don't think in terms of plenty and success. What does one do if your spouse is the one that is negative, always saying " You'll never succeed, that stuff doesn't work, Don't plan on going to {insert travel destination here} because we don't have the money".

This has got to be a big drag on your success.
My wife writes content for me and is 100% supportive.
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Old 03-09-2009, 08:36 PM   #39
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmechante01 View Post
Grant... The video you shared has such an incredible message that applies to far more to all areas in life than just the topic that was being addressed. Thank you for getting me hooked on the Abraham videos now
bj
I'm glad it helped you see the things that matter most to you. It's the ones that serve your purpose that matter most. The trick is choosing you purpose and sticking with it, so the thoughts can manifest in your life.

1. Thought
2. Thought with good feelings (belief & faith)
3. Allow it to manifest (give thanks/show gratitude)
4. Repeat

Lol. You got yourself hooked. Don't blame it on me

G
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Old 03-09-2009, 08:58 PM   #40
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Being negative can be a good thing for you! It builds character, makes you think...and it tests you to the core.Especially if it's your wife! We all have dreams, some more ambitious than others, and the bigger the dreams the harder they are to accomplish. If your wife loves you, she will follow,Don't however bury her in your pursuit of happiness..You have to keep living, and do the things that keeps you alive. Making a living online is very difficult, and requires much effort in the beginning, like all businesses do. If you love your wife, you will both work it out...but never stop the pursuing dream, if that's what is going to make you happy!

Try doing something that requires less effort...less money...and bigger rewards..Watch the video below, it may be of interest to you.There are people making money every week, and the best part...I's free to join!
Cheers

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Old 03-09-2009, 10:18 PM   #41
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Try to free up some time for your spouse somehow...I know I can get so involved that time ceases to exist for me and before I know it, it's 4am.

Maybe only check email and stats every so often? Get super focused and organized? Only you know what consumes most of your time online.

Whatever you do, don't give up. You will regret giving up and end up blaming your spouse which will not be healthy for either of you in the long run.

Living is no fun if you can't have your dreams.
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Old 03-10-2009, 08:20 PM   #42
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Just start making lots of money & your spouse will no longer be negative. Getting to the point of making that money is the hard part. I know a negative environment can suck the life from you. Whether it's negative parents, family members, friends, etc. Been there, done that. Overcoming it makes you even stronger.
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Old 03-10-2009, 11:32 PM   #43
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

I am fortunate to have a supportive wife. All comes down to communications.

Cheers .. Pwety

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Old 03-10-2009, 11:48 PM   #44
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Keep your dreams to yourself and also avoid telling them your dreams in exxageration

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Old 03-14-2009, 07:12 PM   #45
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

I think you need to clarify what you are doing with IM. Most people think internet as some sort of dating playground. So if you use too much internet your spouse might think you are cheating on him or her. So you need to make it clear that you are honest and you are doing useful stuffs on the computer and not trying to do anything fishy! lol ., hope this helps. !!


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Old 03-15-2009, 04:54 AM   #46
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Well, what I do is educate them about business... Give them the latest book about business and wealth.. Almost all motivational and business book tells us that it is not easy to become financially rich.. you have to be patient and willingness to achieve your goal...

If your spouse realize that, you will have the most important backbone and supporters to achieve your goal... Believe me, it worked...

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Old 03-15-2009, 09:13 AM   #47
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

man I feel the pain with this one - i got to the point where i banned 'we can't afford it' from being mentioned at home - this issue is a constant thorn in my side.... and seems to be a common issue with most people I know.

For me.... i made an effort to now bite back.... sit and say - I can see why you might believe that.... BUT and then go through and knock the stuffing out of the ridiculous statement - i think it's also important to try and encourage the partner to look within themselves for further greatness and for you both to set the goals together - put a time frame on it and become accountable - it would also be worth getting some kind of audio and going for a long drive where they talk about never giving up and dealing with failure. This has helped me a lot - as it opens up the chance for conversation without it being a direct 'attack'.
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Old 03-15-2009, 03:34 PM   #48
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

woah...i guess this topic is something a lot of people can relate to.

There's a ton of information all coming at you very quick! thanks for opening the subject and to everyone for sharing this kind of insight....

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Old 03-24-2009, 12:28 PM   #49
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShayRockhold View Post
I am blessed with a very supportive husband, but my ex was very negative.

My only advice is to keep your dreams to yourself and guard them in your heart.

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))
I agree! Keeping out the negative is harder if it's coming from your spouse than if it's coming from anyone else, but we must do it!

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Old 03-24-2009, 12:45 PM   #50
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Default Re: What if your spouse is negative...

I think if you show your spouse how their interest or hobby can be profitable to them online, they may catch the same internet marketing bug we did.

If not..better start making some money! That works too!

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