LAUGH Your Way to the BANK!

Karen Connell · 06-30-2009, 01:17 PM

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying,
'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband' thought for a moment:
'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! The husband was 92 years old.
The moral of this story:
Men who are ungrateful b*st*rds should remember - fairies are female.

Karen Connell · 06-30-2009, 02:06 PM

Beer contains female hormones.

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

Karen Connell · 07-04-2009, 04:06 AM

An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy." He proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks?
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Irishman.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says,
"All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says,
"A little dog come along and crap by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when I start?"

Karen Connell · 07-04-2009, 04:09 AM

Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?"
Carolyn agreed and again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said,
"Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die.". She agreed. Afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up.
"Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?"
His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said,
"Listen Barry, I'm not being funny, but I have to get up in the morning and you don't!

TheGodfather · 07-04-2009, 04:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dhrousha

"Listen Barry, I'm not being funny, but I have to get up in the morning and you don't!

nasty this is really nasty... i gotta remember it

Karen Connell · 08-06-2009, 03:16 AM

RETIRED PEOPLE

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days
interesting.

Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop.

We were only in there for about 5 minutes when we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a Senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a Dumbbutt. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So Carolyn called him a poophead.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age...

Karen Connell · 08-06-2009, 03:27 AM

Real Adverts from - FREE TO GOOD HOME - FOUND - FOR SALE sections in newspapers.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .

Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

Karen Connell · 09-07-2009, 04:27 AM

This made me howl. Had to share it...

The Black Bra:

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.

We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,

"What's for dinner, Batman?"

Karen Connell · 11-07-2009, 05:38 PM

Six blokes go on a hunting trip.

Their tents only have room for two men in each.
No one wanted to sleep in the same tent as Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair for just one of them share with Daryl the whole time, so they decided to take turns.
The first bloke to sleep in Daryl's tent comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot.
His mates ask, 'Crikey, what happened?'
He answers, 'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.'
The next night it was a different bloke's turn.
The following morning, same thing, his hair is all standing up and his eyes are bloodshot.
His mates ask, 'Gees, what happened to you? You look awful!'
He says, 'Bloody Daryl shakes the roof. I just sat and watched him all night, I couldn't sleep.'
The third night was Frank's turn.
Frank was a big, burly, ex-rugby player; a man's man.
The next morning he comes to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
'Good morning,' he says cheerfully.
His mates can't believe it.
They ask, 'Blimey, what happened?'
Frank says, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. Then he sat up and watched me all night.'

kevinherbert · 11-07-2009, 06:04 PM

The video of Alan King is the funniest thing I've heard for a long time!!!! I'm gonna listen to it every time I need a laugh.....

Texson5 · 11-07-2009, 10:19 PM

LOL!!

That was funny.

honestbizpro · 12-26-2009, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karen Connell

Six blokes go on a hunting trip.

Their tents only have room for two men in each.
No one wanted to sleep in the same tent as Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair for just one of them share with Daryl the whole time, so they decided to take turns.
The first bloke to sleep in Daryl's tent comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot.
His mates ask, 'Crikey, what happened?'
He answers, 'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.'
The next night it was a different bloke's turn.
The following morning, same thing, his hair is all standing up and his eyes are bloodshot.
His mates ask, 'Gees, what happened to you? You look awful!'
He says, 'Bloody Daryl shakes the roof. I just sat and watched him all night, I couldn't sleep.'
The third night was Frank's turn.
Frank was a big, burly, ex-rugby player; a man's man.
The next morning he comes to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
'Good morning,' he says cheerfully.
His mates can't believe it.
They ask, 'Blimey, what happened?'
Frank says, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. Then he sat up and watched me all night.'

Ha! Thanks for a smile break!

Ramin · 12-26-2009, 11:47 AM

Very nice jokes.....

honestbizpro · 12-26-2009, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zahra

LOL nice post, i am going to share with some,

1-

"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."

"That's very nice, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself."

2-

A young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.

"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."

"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!"

3-
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?” To which the man promptly replied “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!”

4-
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks – but half the pages are missing. What’s the matter? Isn’t half a million enough for you?

Regards

I love to keep stoping by here for a good laugh time to time....thanks!

Hulbert · 12-26-2009, 05:59 PM

Having humor is a good way to make life less stressful when we were and maintain a positive attitude. Thanks for these jokes. I thought the one about the lawyer and the questions was really funny.

SupermanMJ · 12-27-2009, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honestbizpro

"A woman was bragging how her husband became a Millionaire after he met her and someone asked what was he before he met her? She said....a Billionaire."

Haha that's a good one

bobmcalister · 12-31-2009, 06:14 PM

one guys asks "know how to save a lawyer from drowning ?"
second guys says ...'no'
first guys says ..'good'

it was funny at the time ..

aleserlee · 01-01-2010, 05:29 AM

These thread is really cool. Good humour ..Thanks you people really made me laughed.
Karen please continue with more..You are going good.

drwhogoesthere · 01-02-2010, 01:37 AM

Two spews (vomits) are walking along a city street when they come upon an old pub.
The first spew starts getting all emotional and his mates asks “What’s wrong?”
Looking up with a tear in his eye the first spew says “Oh mate, this was where I was brought up!”

Better go. I have to see the doctor about being a hypochondriac

knightofdawn · 01-02-2010, 01:44 AM

Nice post guys, thanks for the humor...

Mutuo · 01-02-2010, 04:24 AM

Nice to have a laugh on WF!!!! Its usually so serious.

honestbizpro · 01-02-2010, 04:24 AM

This made me laugh when I realized it earlier today and it actually happened....

What was I thinking at the moment? How I am going to be super organized in business this year!

What was I doing at that exact moment of thought? Searching for the remote control I just had!

.

honestbizpro · 01-28-2010, 05:43 PM

Resurrected Just for laughs!

Take a break. Then work with a smile.

YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.

l23bc · 01-28-2010, 06:58 PM

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."

l23bc · 01-28-2010, 06:59 PM

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

l23bc · 01-28-2010, 07:00 PM

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'
Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '
Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'
Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'
Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

Emily Meeks · 02-08-2010, 01:21 AM

I love these two...

YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.

The Worst Line Reading Ever (so bad... >:P)

YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.

swilliams09 · 02-08-2010, 07:15 AM

good stuff.

honestbizpro · 03-01-2010, 09:18 PM

This is what I do right before logging into the internet everyday!

YouTube - Funny marketing guy

honestbizpro · 03-02-2010, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leondenam

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more … He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died…I’m married to his f***ing widow!

funny funny.

That reminds me of this one......

Taxi and passenger blast thru a red light and the passenger says...hey whoa whoa what are you doing?!!!

Taxi driver says...aww don't worry my cousin does this all the time!

They get to another intersection and the Taxi Speeds right thru it....

The passenger is wondering if there is another seat belt he can buckle at this point...

Then they come to a green light and the Taxi Driver slams on the brakes!

Why are you stopping here!? says the passenger.

Taxi Driver looked very worried and said....man don't you know my cousin might be out here!!!

06-30-2009, 01:17 PM	#151
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband' thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! The husband was 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bstrds should remember - fairies are female.
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

06-30-2009, 02:06 PM	#152
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Beer contains female hormones. Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects : 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional. 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally. 8) Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary.
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

07-04-2009, 04:06 AM	#153
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little maths test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy." He proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks? "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Irishman. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred." "So, when I start?"
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

07-04-2009, 04:09 AM	#154
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love. Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Carolyn agreed and again they made love. Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said, "Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die.". She agreed. Afterward she rolled over and fell asleep. Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?" His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm not being funny, but I have to get up in the morning and you don't!
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

08-06-2009, 03:16 AM	#156
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! RETIRED PEOPLE Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes when we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a Senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumbbutt. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Carolyn called him a poophead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age...
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

08-06-2009, 03:27 AM	#157
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Real Adverts from - FREE TO GOOD HOME - FOUND - FOR SALE sections in newspapers. FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound. FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $100. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

09-07-2009, 04:27 AM	#158
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! This made me howl. Had to share it... The Black Bra: I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went. My engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night. Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

11-07-2009, 05:38 PM	#159
Karen Connell I CAN do this... War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Sussex UK Posts: 660 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 176 Thanked 141 Times in 111 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Six blokes go on a hunting trip. Their tents only have room for two men in each. No one wanted to sleep in the same tent as Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair for just one of them share with Daryl the whole time, so they decided to take turns. The first bloke to sleep in Daryl's tent comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot. His mates ask, 'Crikey, what happened?' He answers, 'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.' The next night it was a different bloke's turn. The following morning, same thing, his hair is all standing up and his eyes are bloodshot. His mates ask, 'Gees, what happened to you? You look awful!' He says, 'Bloody Daryl shakes the roof. I just sat and watched him all night, I couldn't sleep.' The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big, burly, ex-rugby player; a man's man. The next morning he comes to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 'Good morning,' he says cheerfully. His mates can't believe it. They ask, 'Blimey, what happened?' Frank says, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. Then he sat up and watched me all night.'
	"Never Mistake Activity for Accomplishment"

11-07-2009, 06:04 PM	#160
kevinherbert Warrior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Somerset, United Kingdom. Posts: 2 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Social Networking	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! The video of Alan King is the funniest thing I've heard for a long time!!!! I'm gonna listen to it every time I need a laugh.....

11-07-2009, 10:19 PM	#161
Texson5 HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 123 Thanks: 228 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! LOL!! That was funny.

12-26-2009, 11:47 AM	#163
Ramin Warrior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 22 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Very nice jokes.....

12-26-2009, 05:59 PM	#165
Hulbert Active Warrior Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 61 Thanks: 0 Thanked 9 Times in 6 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Having humor is a good way to make life less stressful when we were and maintain a positive attitude. Thanks for these jokes. I thought the one about the lawyer and the questions was really funny.
	From Bottom Up

12-31-2009, 06:14 PM	#167
bobmcalister lease this space War Room Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: moving to Coscar soon..my nose glows around here Posts: 599 Blog Entries: 14 Thanks: 227 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! one guys asks "know how to save a lawyer from drowning ?" second guys says ...'no' first guys says ..'good' it was funny at the time ..
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01-01-2010, 05:29 AM	#168
aleserlee Warrior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 10 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! These thread is really cool. Good humour ..Thanks you people really made me laughed. Karen please continue with more..You are going good.

01-02-2010, 01:37 AM	#169
drwhogoesthere HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Warren, Australia Posts: 131 Blog Entries: 56 Thanks: 4 Thanked 22 Times in 16 Posts Social Networking	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Two spews (vomits) are walking along a city street when they come upon an old pub. The first spew starts getting all emotional and his mates asks “What’s wrong?” Looking up with a tear in his eye the first spew says “Oh mate, this was where I was brought up!” Better go. I have to see the doctor about being a hypochondriac
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01-02-2010, 01:44 AM	#170
knightofdawn ePride Rock Star War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 99 Thanks: 12 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Social Networking	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Nice post guys, thanks for the humor...
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01-02-2010, 04:24 AM	#171
Mutuo Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Nairobi, Kenya Posts: 30 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Contact Info	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Nice to have a laugh on WF!!!! Its usually so serious.

01-02-2010, 04:24 AM	#172
honestbizpro Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: , , . Posts: 3,840 Thanks: 195 Thanked 509 Times in 316 Posts	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! This made me laugh when I realized it earlier today and it actually happened.... What was I thinking at the moment? How I am going to be super organized in business this year! What was I doing at that exact moment of thought? Searching for the remote control I just had! .
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01-28-2010, 06:58 PM	#174
l23bc Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: From Liverpool U.k But now in a small cottage in wicklow,Dublin, soon to be heading to miami, Posts: 1,493 Blog Entries: 9 Thanks: 97 Thanked 110 Times in 97 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."
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01-28-2010, 06:59 PM	#175
l23bc Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: From Liverpool U.k But now in a small cottage in wicklow,Dublin, soon to be heading to miami, Posts: 1,493 Blog Entries: 9 Thanks: 97 Thanked 110 Times in 97 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
	No Sig here...Just lifelong learning my dreams by the warrior comments! i ❤ ♡ ❤ warrior forum

01-28-2010, 07:00 PM	#176
l23bc Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: From Liverpool U.k But now in a small cottage in wicklow,Dublin, soon to be heading to miami, Posts: 1,493 Blog Entries: 9 Thanks: 97 Thanked 110 Times in 97 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: 'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes. Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?' Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.' Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.' Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ' Pharmacist: 'Definitely.' Jacob: 'How about Viagra?' Pharmacist: 'Of course.' Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?' Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.' Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?' Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.' Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?' Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.' Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'
	No Sig here...Just lifelong learning my dreams by the warrior comments! i ❤ ♡ ❤ warrior forum

02-08-2010, 07:15 AM	#178
swilliams09 Your Video Guy War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: USA Posts: 436 Blog Entries: 15 Thanks: 27 Thanked 65 Times in 48 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: LAUGH Your Way to the BANK! good stuff.
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