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Fear of success

by TheGMa
14 replies
For those of you who have not heard of fear of success, it is an actual problem for entrepreneurs.

Though a successful businesswoman in the past (I am now retired and am in need of additional income), I find myself experiencing this very annoying barrier.

There is nothing wrong with many of the WSO's. Often, it's a matter of finding the right match then using what is being taught to work your way onto a successful platform for you. Like cookbook recipes, some WSO's must be followed to the letter, others are more useful as references to create your own personal dish.

You find your recipe and know the dish will be excellent, and the fear of success rears its ugly head, full of why's and what-if's:

What if I have too many customers?
What if I fail?
What if nobody likes me?
What if I can't answer the questions in emails and threads?
What if I get started then hate what I'm doing?
What if I simply lose interest even though I'm making money?
What happened to my confidence?
Why the hell am I so scared?
Why can't I just do it?

If you are experiencing any of the above, you may have to fake it until you've done so often enough that you've convinced yourself that you are on the right path. Hey, that actually works. I learned if from my mother when I didn't really want to go out on a date with a nice young man in high school. Mother told me to fake having a good time and it would happen. And it worked. I had a splendid time and we dated several times after that because we had a lot of fun together.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the endeavor you are beginning is just the beginning. Once you get in to the swing of whichever income stream you are following, picking up another isn't nearly so hard, and after a while you can farm out those duties that make you cringe because you will be able to afford to.

This message is me writing to myself and to you at the same time. My momentary situation is not unique and my advice to you is to forge ahead no matter what. Never give up. If you persist despite your misgivings and lack of funds, despite your lack of confidence and direction, you will find the right solution, you will find the self-confidence, and you will make money.

BTW: Keep in mind that making tons of money is not the issue; paying the rent and buying groceries without having to worry is the real goal. Hit that goal often enough and you will end up making lots of money.
#fear #success
  • Profile picture of the author PBSolutions4U
    Its just called being an under achiever. The thing that separates real internet marketers from underachievers is Real Marketers NEVER GIVE UP & Keep Pushing forward.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheGMa
      ???

      Okayyy PBSolutions, but actually most successful people, me being one of them, have gone through what I described. As I said, it's often momentary but it can last for longer. It's merely one of the challenges some entrepreneurs have to deal with.

      My message is for those who are having a bit of a problem getting past what seems like a brick wall.

      Even the bravest of soldiers face that wall, and I know this for a fact: I was born into and am part of an ongoing, combat-seasoned, well-decorated military family.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    well i would say the fear of success goes along with comfort zones ..now in many cases ..it all stems from a very under developded idea of what success in on a personal level.. and adherance to a commonly held view of success..that really doesn't fit many people ..and who have been conditioned that they would never have it ..

    so what do you do when you get more traditional success.. you make more money move to a better neighborhood with more expensive houses ..leave the current friend they have move the kids and the family and try to fit in and get new friends..and then ,,all the stuff that plays out ,,

    seth godin goes into the reptilian brains and how it can turn something like seeing your bosses name on you cellphone late at night ..into a huge life altering chain of event in mere second prior to answering the phone ..

    why do a lot of people not loose way. because they believe that the only path it to eat lots of stuff that doesn't taste good ..so they go on eating like farm animals stuffing thier bodies with corn and soy ..or eating animals that where fat and sich because they where stuffed with corn amnd soy..and eating food that have to be doctored with large amounts of sugar and artificial flavorings ..that feed a digestive trackt filled with bad gut flora that cause them to get fatter and crave these foods ...

    sometimes the fear of success .. has to be smacked around and stomped on.. by the fear of say what will happen if you don't make changes ..
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    • Profile picture of the author TheGMa
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post


      ... sometimes the fear of success .. has to be smacked around and stomped on.. by the fear of say what will happen if you don't make changes ..
      So well-put. You hit the nail on the head, Odahh. Thank you.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jarratt
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      sometimes the fear of success .. has to be smacked around and stomped on.. by the fear of say what will happen if you don't make changes ..
      Totally agree with this.

      TheGMa I think it's totally normal to have fears. It's mainly because you're putting yourself out there to be criticised and judged publicly. The fight or flight theory comes to mind.

      Just take a look around Quora. You'll see plenty of people asking questions about Elon Musk's personal life, the way he works, why he operates the way he does. People get interested when you're well-known for something.
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      • Profile picture of the author TheGMa
        @ ryanbidulph

        Yes, I totally agree with freedom being the loveliest of all goals. For some odd reason, though freedom is my mantra I seem to have forgotten it lately as the ultimate goal. Instead I've been fretting over this bill and that bill. WRONG. Thank you for reminding me of this. It is going on my wall in my workroom. In very big letters.

        .................................................. ..........................FREEDOM

        @ jarratt

        Yes, fear is a natural element but I had not considered the flight or fight response. When I was in my 20's to 50's, I never really gave it a thought. I was all thunder and lightning and don't-get-in-my-way. Got hit fairly hard after that, one thing after another; I was just having trouble getting the old mojo back.

        My parents began preparing me for failure in my teens, after encouraging me like Norman Vincent Peale all through my pre-teen years. Thank heaven for that because I went on to build a one-of-a-kind business in spite of their constant belittling. I feel so very bad for those who never had any encouragement and don't know how to fight beyond the "smallness" training.

        I believe the hardest thing to teach those who are proceeding with trepidation is that being strong is merely the determination not to be weak. There is strength in everyone, but many don't want to find it.

        I'm 70 - it's too late to teach this old dog weak tricks. Tally-Ho!
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        • Profile picture of the author Odahh
          Originally Posted by TheGMa View Post

          @ ryanbidulph

          Yes, I totally agree with freedom being the loveliest of all goals. For some odd reason, though freedom is my mantra I seem to have forgotten it lately as the ultimate goal. Instead I've been fretting over this bill and that bill. WRONG. Thank you for reminding me of this. It is going on my wall in my workroom. In very big letters.

          .................................................. ..........................FREEDOM

          @ jarratt

          Yes, fear is a natural element but I had not considered the flight or fight response. When I was in my 20's to 50's, I never really gave it a thought. I was all thunder and lightning and don't-get-in-my-way. Got hit fairly hard after that, one thing after another; I was just having trouble getting the old mojo back.

          My parents began preparing me for failure in my teens, after encouraging me like Norman Vincent Peale all through my pre-teen years. Thank heaven for that because I went on to build a one-of-a-kind business in spite of their constant belittling. I feel so very bad for those who never had any encouragement and don't know how to fight beyond the "smallness" training.

          I believe the hardest thing to teach those who are proceeding with trepidation is that being strong is merely the determination not to be weak. There is strength in everyone, but many don't want to find it.

          I'm 70 - it's too late to teach this old dog weak tricks. Tally-Ho!
          the smallness training goes back a very very long time probably to when humans started taking each other as slaves ..and all societies figured out how to have parent and family train their kids to stay in there place in society .

          even in the USA most people before ww2 where poor and after ww2 where trained to accend up to the middle class and for a few decade the rich where told to not show off their wealth ..


          now my parents where pretty brutal in their smallness training of me and my entire family sort of followed suit ,, but my parents died last year they where married 42 years and fought every day..and only apart 4 month .. in any case taking care of them.the last few years of their lives .. I eventually figure out what was going on ..and began pulling out the threads and retraining .. and was actually fighting back against my 75 year old mom and 80 year old dad ..

          when my mom was healthy enough to be home there where times when i would load the dishwasher..and she would stand and watch and tell me i was doing it wrong ..and when my mom was in the nursing home and i would drive my dad back and forth to see her .. he would yell at me about the way i drove several times in a ten minute drive ..

          anyway.. i was 35 before i started breaking the training and unfortunatly.. it took my parents passin on for me to fully rewire many of the things..and there is still work to do..

          anyway the condition through my life was more an expectation of failure ..and incompetance and laztness ..

          well the lazyness was because no matter what i did i either did it wrong to their eyes or it was never enough..so not doing anything acctually got me less grief
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          • Profile picture of the author TheGMa
            Ah yes, Odahh. Reprogramming for success.

            You know what I did? I decided to be almost everything my parents weren't by evaluating what I should keep and what I should toss out. Trust me here: the older you get, the harder it is to avoid being a mirror image of your parents' bad side. I frequently have to catch myself before inflicting discouragement, turning what I was about to say into encouragement, even when talking to myself.

            The very best and marvelous tool we have is sincere, heartfelt repetition. Tell yourself the same thing often enough and you will follow whatever path you set. You must think your positive thought with fervor as you fall asleep, as you wake up, in the shower, while you're running the vacuum cleaner, while exercising but NOT while driving. If you pray, think of it as a balls-out, gimme-all-you-got prayer.

            Hell, you can even convince yourself that you adore your most hated dish by doing the above, although I doubt I would ever be able to persuade myself that Mother's Chicken ala King is delicious. Shudder.

            PS: It's the same method your parents used to make you feel crappy about yourself.
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            • Profile picture of the author Odahh
              [
              Originally Posted by TheGMa View Post

              Ah yes, Odahh. Reprogramming for success.

              You know what I did? I decided to be almost everything my parents weren't by evaluating what I should keep and what I should toss out. Trust me here: the older you get, the harder it is to avoid being a mirror image of your parents' bad side. I frequently have to catch myself before inflicting discouragement, turning what I was about to say into encouragement, even when talking to myself.

              The very best and marvelous tool we have is sincere, heartfelt repetition. Tell yourself the same thing often enough and you will follow whatever path you set. You must think your positive thought with fervor as you fall asleep, as you wake up, in the shower, while you're running the vacuum cleaner, while exercising but NOT while driving. If you pray, think of it as a balls-out, gimme-all-you-got prayer.

              Hell, you can even convince yourself that you adore your most hated dish by doing the above, although I doubt I would ever be able to persuade myself that Mother's Chicken ala King is delicious. Shudder.

              PS: It's the same method your parents used to make you feel crappy about yourself.
              well i also have a number of conditions..i refuse to call disabilities..as i have high functioning autism..and i have rapid cycling bi polar disorder ..with a list of other sub catagories that go along with that..

              as far as my lack of financial success goes.. for the most part i have a highly addictive personality..and it would have been real easy to self medicate.. but by being broke ,, and making very little money .. i always had a great excuse not to do drugs or drink .. my drug of choice ended up being online games ..like world of warcraft and games that where around before that ..

              anyway as far as becoming my parents ..it is really not a worry ,,not everything about my parents was bad ..and the abused was restricted to the verbal areas and never physical.. and i have met people whos parents messed them up pretty bad ..

              despte the abuse on the mental level i loved my parent and was there to take care of them even if they wher unreasonably demanding ..it was that very drain and harsh time that sllowed me to understand what really had happened to me and work on it ..

              in any case it is not about trying not to become them ..it is knowing how i am like them ..and taking steps to reign in the more negative aspects ..

              personally my idea of success involves having a lifestyle with ver low fixxed monetly cost and doing work i never want to retire from .... my parents always fought about money .. and i want to avoid that with the woman i will make my wife.. of course thats not working out right now .. hehe..

              but now i need to shake of the protection of not having much money and start building wealth ..

              sometime you have to get a vision for what success means to you and it has to be like a leash pulling you to it ,,,
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi GM,

    I'm a fan of making freedom my goal, so that I am pulled instead of pushed through my day This fear died a quick death for me when I ceased to think about success and shifted my intent to freeing me, and to freeing my audience. Things happened more effortlessly at that point because having fun, vibing higher, creating eBooks, podcasts and blog posts and connect with pros from my niche became my daily activities.

    All the best with your new venture! You'll do wonderful

    Ryan
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    Ryan Biddulph helps you to be a successful blogger with his courses, manuals and blog at Blogging From Paradise
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  • Profile picture of the author nmwf
    Originally Posted by TheGMa View Post

    This message is me writing to myself and to you at the same time.
    I ♥ That! Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Net 700
    You are not succeeding yet because of past traumas that hinder your potential. You should excavate within and then mutate to a higher being with incessant meditation. You'll be seeing huge payoffs once you do so and crank out a another version of yourself on a whim.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by Net 700 View Post

      You are not succeeding yet because of past traumas that hinder your potential. You should excavate within and then mutate to a higher being with incessant meditation. You'll be seeing huge payoffs once you do so and crank out a another version of yourself on a whim.
      time is circular .. it is the traumas that happen over and over again ..that we may not even register ..that hinder our potential.. we don't need to take blame for them happening..to take responsibility for changing the way react to them..so that we eventually change the pattern ..

      we create our future not from the possibilities of the future .. but from our pasts ..and we spend 99 percent of our efforts trying to keep things the same
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      • Profile picture of the author TheGMa
        Like I said, Odahh:

        Keep in mind that making tons of money is not the issue; paying the rent and buying groceries without having to worry is the real goal. Hit that goal often enough and you will end up making lots of money.
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