How To Deal With Negative People
The road to success is not always an easy one.
While it is certainly possible for success to come easy for some people, for most of the success stories I've read, success did not come easily.
Many people have earned their success the hard way walking down the path that many others walked before.
Whatever path to success you choose, you will face many challenges along the way.
It is easy to get frustrated at technical challenges, intellectual challenges, financial challenges, emotional challenges etc. but all these challenges are part and parcel of what is going to build you into a success story one day.
At several points in your journey to success you will come across some negative minded people.
Instead of helping you on your way to success they will hinder you.
I've encountered a fair share of negative people on my journey so I thought I'd take the time to share some guidelines on how to deal with them.
No doubt this post will probably even attract of few of these negative people and maybe you will get a live example on how to deal with them.
How To Spot A Negative Person
- They have a bad attitude without any apparent reason
- They hardly have anything positive to say
- They hardly offer anything of value
- They are often very sarcastic
- They are the least helpful of people
- They are better at offering criticism than at offering valuable feedback
- They have many ideas on how you can't do something but hardly any ideas on how you can do something
- They are always blaming people for their failures
- They have too much time on their hands and nothing positive to do with it
- They waste their time on pointless discussions
- They don't do anything to improve their own lives
- They are always looking for attention
- They butt into conversations which don't concern them
- They lack basic etiquette or manners which most people have
- They lack the communication skills to say what they need to say without getting emotional and abusive
- They say the first thing that come to their minds without allowing their brains to process their thoughts first
Why are they full of negativity?
What is the cause of their negativity?
From my experience there are many reasons why negative people are the way they are.
Here are some of the reasons:
- The people they associate with are negative
- They were brought up by negative minded people who didn't teach them the value of diversity
- They weren't taught to respect people regardless of their differences
- They live in a bubble cut off from the rest of the world
- They have personal issues going on in their lives which they need to take out on someone
- They don't know how to deal with the issues they have
- They paint everyone with the same brush
- They find it easier to blame others for their issues or lack of success than make the effort to create their own success
- They think that their way is the only way
- They don't realise that there is more than one way to solve a problem
- They are selfish
- They don't have a life
So What Is The Best Way To Deal With Negative People?
There are a number of ways to deal with negative people.
If people are genuinely experiencing personal issues in their lives which they subconsciously taking out on you, then you can only feel sorry for such people but it's often very difficult to know this straight away.
1. From experience whenever I come across a negative person I try to be patient and wait a while before I respond because I understand that some people might be having personal issues which they might be offloading onto you.
If after trying to be patient and nice and bearing up with their negativity for a while you find that people are still going out of their way to be negative towards you then you have several options.
2. You can let the negative person know that their negativity is not very helpful and it is a problem.
3. If that person continues to be negative then like for e.g. if they butt into a conversation which doesn't concern them without adding any value to the discussion and are being negative and disrespectful at the same time I will engage them directly and ask them why they are doing that. In such a situation be prepared to experience even more negativity and hatred.
If the person is just going through a bad phase in their life and it is not usually their nature to be that way they will usually apologize for their behaviour and make an effort to be a bit more positive or at the very least, not negative in the future.
4. On the other hand there are people who react in a very bad way. This is often an indication of deep rooted personal issues which cannot be resolved overnight.
At this stage they usually sink to the lowest of levels and do the craziest things to try to bring you down to their level. This is another sign that you're dealing with a negative person with issues.
If you find yourself at this stage where people are still not willing to admit their mistake and are going out of their way to be negative then at this stage there is not much else you can do. I usually completely ignore them and let them make a fool of themselves.
Since negative people love attention, if you deny them that attention they will not be able to offload their negativity on you.
Therefore if you're trying to walk the path of success then it will might be a good idea to avoid negative people as much as possible.
Instead of helping you on your way to success they will only rob you of your time and energy.
5. I know some marketers who love getting negative messages because they take them and turn them into case studies. They call the negative person out (without naming them) and make them realise the error of their ways. Instead of making them look bad it makes them look good. This is always an option of course.
Once you've mastered the art of dealing with negative people you will find that life will become much easier.
You will be able to focus much better on your goals and be more productive.
You will able to sail through life unhindered by negative people.
I hope this post has been helpful in some way.
Please feel free to share your experiences about this below.
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