Why We Experience Pain And Why It Can Be Good For Us

You will have experienced pain in your life at a physical,
emotional and/or mental level. This part of the chapter is
about the pain you experience, why you experience it and
what you can learn from it.

Why Is There Pain And Suffering In Life?

Humans can be strange creatures. It is often only through
pain and suffering that we take the time to really get to
know ourselves and make changes in our life. Many of us also
do not value things that are too easily achieved, i.e. that
we get without pain.

Pain is an inevitable part of life. If, however, you are
choosing to walk the high road (rather than the low road),
you will be minimizing the amount of pain and suffering you
would otherwise experience as you voluntarily choose to
learn your lessons before the pain becomes so great that you
are forced to.

So why do we have pain in our lives? Your conscious and your
unconscious (or soul) will give you very different answers
to this question.

How Your Conscious Mind Sees Pain

If we are honest, most of us see suffering as something
unpleasant to be endured or avoided. We see the better times
in life to be those when we are experiencing harmony,
contentment and happiness. When we are content, however, we
do not feel the need to search for answers. The times in
life that make us grow and give us the depth to our
character are not those times spent in harmony, contentment
and happiness, but rather those time spent in adversity. In
the same way that a baby who continued to lie quietly and
contently on a rug would never learn to crawl and then walk,
so it is for us. It is the times of frustration and pain
that move us forward and help us to grow.

There are times in most lives, when we feel we cannot endure
what life is throwing at us. During those times I remind
myself that I chose this life and I would not have chosen
things I did not believe I could endure or grow from.

How Your Soul Sees It

Your soul or unconscious sees pain and suffering as the
opportunity for healing, growth and understanding. Struggle
is natural to growth. In the same way that metal is made
stronger each time it is returned to the fire and then
struck on the anvil, so too are you made stronger each time
you endure adversity. Eventually the suffering and pain
fades and you are left with the gifts that are their legacy.

For example, several years ago I found that I had an
enormous cyst growing from my adrenal gland and an unknown
lump growing in my liver. I underwent two lots of surgery to
have them removed. Each surgery was painful and required a
lengthy period of recuperation.

I had plenty of time to reflect on life during the long days
I spent in hospital beds recovering. One day I thought back
over my life and how I had reached this point. I made the
connection between life's toughest moments and the character
strengths I felt I had gained from them. I took the time to
write to those people who had caused me the most distress in
my life and thanked them for the experience and the
character strengths I felt I had gained as a result of my
interaction with them.

Although you have designed this lifetime in advance, while
you are here you still have the power of freewill.
Unconsciously, you can choose whether or not you will
experience some of the suffering you had planned to help you
with your growth.

This is illustrated in a story told by a subject in The
Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. In the story a little
girl chose to live a life where she could help others to
learn. To ensure she did this, she chose at the age of 8 to
fall out of a carriage and land beneath its wheels. As a
result of this accident, she suffered immense pain in her
legs and was crippled for the rest of her life.

Living and coping with the pain gave her powers of
concentration above and beyond those experienced by other
people. She used these powers of focus later in life to
become an inspirational teacher. The fact that she was bound
in a wheelchair meant she lived a life focused more upon
mental and emotional rather than physical skills as she had
deliberately unconsciously chosen to remove them from that
lifetime. The very thing that seemed to be such a tragic
event was the very thing that in the end meant she would
become successful in her chosen career and ensure her
personal growth.

While in a trance state the subject was able to explain the
unconscious moment of choice she experienced before she
continued to play with the carriage door until it opened.
She knew that she could stop playing with the door and avoid
falling out of the carriage and becoming crippled. She knew
that if she did this, she would still have a good life, but
she wouldn't experience the same level of personal growth
and neither would she serve others to the same degree.

Find The Positive In Your Pain

As difficult as it sounds, there is reason to be positive
about your pain and suffering. As a friend said to me while
I was recovering from surgery, "Embrace the pain it means
you are alive". Although at the time I wanted to say rude
and sarcastic things to him, in hindsight I came to find the
truth in his words. Those times you are experiencing pain in
life are also the times that you are growing and learning
the fastest.

In every situation, look for the learning you can get from
it. Once you have it, the pain generally ceases. Gain the
growth and cease the pain. If the pain continues, it is a
good indication that there is still something for you to
'get' (a lesson or understanding) from the experience.