How do I instill confidence in my head to be comfortable with rejection?

by 16 replies
I'm having trouble talking to people over the phone and in person. I have identified that it is all in my head, but I don't know how to get it out. I don't know how to deal with rejection because I take it too personal. Is there any exercises that you have done to help yourself get more comfortable with rejection?
#mind warriors #comfortable #confidence #head #instill #rejection
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  • Profile picture of the author gingerninjas
    re: over the phone conversations and pitches:

    Have you considered developing a range of scripts for your sales pitch over the phone so that you have the confidence to step through the process based on the response from the person on the other end of the line?

    I have developed scripts for clients which basically run through the flow of a range of conversations and help build conversation as you step through each stage of the process.

    While you do need to be mindful that you are not 'reading' the script, it is more of a prompt and may help you overcome your fear.

    Of course, once you have had success with a couple of leads you will probably overcome this fear.

    I would also recommend role playing your process with friends of family to give yourself a little more experience ahead of jumping in feet first and starting your calls.

    I must stress that when you're on the phone you should be conversational, friendly and be open to the fact that some people just won't be interested - that is to be expected.

    Good luck!
  • Profile picture of the author sendizo
    You said it! Don't take stuff too personal.
    It's about you, not anyone else, You should live your life for you! and do what's make you feel good!
    Remember: Who loves/likes you will do anything to stay with you! and who does not will find any reason to leave you
  • Profile picture of the author John Jonas Phil VA
    I remind myself that rejection is temporary and it's not personal. They're saying 'no' now but that doesn't mean they're saying 'no' forever. Just keep working and make your spiel better until they say YES !
  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    The problem is that there is an overt fear, that is relieved by demonstrating the reality of the numbers of the situation...and a hidden fear, that is more challenging to understand and relieve.

    The overt fear I cover here.

    If you understand what is going to happen to you, the situation becomes more bearable. If the dentist goes through all the tools and their function, it will be easier to sit through the poking and prodding.

    I've been training people to overcome call reluctance for years, and it really helps to imagine yourself as a lighthouse, emitting value...whether anyone chooses to receive and acknowledge that value or not. The light is ON. There's no denying it. They can't even say the light is off...they're full of crap if they say that, and you know it. That's a good starting point to build some power.

    Remember it's not your job to convince anyone of your value. Just to sort, for people who are willing to have conversations with you today. The rest can be qualified Out, or be rescheduled.
  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    There's a very good saying that may help you with this issue.
    "Some will, some won't, so what!"

    To translate, not everybody will want whatever you're selling AND THAT'S OK!!!
    Once you accept that, you can move past it and then it's a numbers game.
    Every time you get a "no," you're closer to getting another "yes."

    Write down all the objections you get. Then write down answers to all those objections. Once that's done, set up either a word document or even a real sheet of paper (or more than one) and write all of them out and stick them on the wall near your phone or computer. Preparation and having answers at your fingertips will give you an enormous amount of confidence because you can then simply make the calls.

    Please tell me if that doesn't make sense to you.

    I also recommend all the posts Jason has written in this forum because he really knows his stuff.
  • Profile picture of the author Dustin Carabello
    Originally Posted by ish1231231 View Post

    I'm having trouble talking to people over the phone and in person. I have identified that it is all in my head, but I don't know how to get it out. I don't know how to deal with rejection because I take it too personal. Is there any exercises that you have done to help yourself get more comfortable with rejection?
    I'm not sure if my method is an exact science or not but I used to be TERRIFIED of rejection. I used to go into fits of anxiety and depression. Here's what I did.

    1) Call random numbers in your area code and wait for people to answer. Ask for a random name and when they say you have the wrong number, tell them you're in a hurry and you need a quick movie recommendation for a date this evening. You'll get people who recommend movies and people that hang up. The great part about this exercise is that rejection is completely meaningless in this particular situation. It's uncomfortable at first, but after about 5 calls, you start to realize that the result doesn't matter and you will have a few fun conversations.

    2) Keep a $100 dollar bill in your pocket and use it to remember that, no matter what the results you get in your calls, you still have money at the end of the day. This will start to train your brain to separate attachment the the results of each call.

    3) Remember that every rejection you face brings you a step closer to a desired result. I used to draw a smiley face on a piece of paper every time somebody rejected me. Then when I got a sale, I would crumple up the paper, throw my arms in the air and toss the paper in the waste bin with a dramatic basketball pose. Victory formation if you will. This will provide reward for work. Just small training tips for your brain.

    I know they sound goofy, but they worked for me! Hope this helps!
  • Profile picture of the author Jack Nguyen
    For me, rejection is just a very normally that every successful have passed in their life, their business before they can be successful! You don't need to be perfect as long as you have tried your best! Learn from your mistakes is the best way to go fast! Every time you face with rejection, you will be stronger, just think like that inside your mind! Nothing to lose but always having to gain! Always!
  • Profile picture of the author Anthony Shama
    you state the problem yourself: lack of confident. to counter such lack of confident, there is one best strategy: practice
    as any good sale people can tell you, the best thing to counter your fear of rejection is to practice.
    if you afraid to talk to people, make the goal of talking to 20 people a day. just talk, don't expect anything much.
    don't expect the good result when you just start practicing.
    if you read rich dad poor dad, you see how robert overcome his fear of rejection. his rich dad told him to fail faster, so he went to do the charity phone call asking for money. you can do similar thing to overcome fear in rejection.
    and remember that you won't be able to accomplish it in a day or a week or maybe even a month. but you will see the difference in you after you keep practice talking to people through phone or personally month after month.
    by the way, stop wondering how the technique, just do it
  • Profile picture of the author st0nec0ld
    If you want to lessen rejection then why not try different approach?
    Use different spiels and see which works best.
    Keep in mind that rejection is part of everyone's everyday life, if you can't handle rejection what more if you encounter big challenges in your life? Just always look into the bright side, it will not always be a gloomy day..
  • Profile picture of the author ShawnLim
    Fear of making calls?
    I used to speak to 50 prospects a day with cold calls.
    The way I do is to do feel the fear and do it anyway.
    Just pick up the phone, press the number and push the dial button.
    You will automatically know what to say.
    Once you have made the first call, the following calls will be easier.
    You have built up the momentum.
    So just do it.
  • Profile picture of the author liftyouup
    It will go over I wasn't comfortable picking up the phone the first time, but I learned every day from good sources for two hours, did what I practiced and eventually got 100 % hit rate on my best days, but that included selling double to one person if their wife wanted something also. When you get good, you look forward to calling.

    In some selling jobs only 10 or 20 % hit rate might be great, and you really have to learn not to care at all what the customer is saying. It's a phone.. you can hang up I saw it just as a video game, I had a screen in front of me also while calling, so it was just about leveling, and focus on helping people, making their lives better and having fun while implementing new knowledge

    The customer is just a result. Once you learn the code you will succeed often And when you have spoken to a lot of people they will start to sound the same Hopefully you will hear positive changes, if you implement good knowledge

    The customer is just responding to the pitch and the way it's delievered. It's like shooting baskets, eventually you will hit often.
    The customer doesn't even know you, so it has nothing to do with you. Only their desire to buy the thing you propose or not
  • Profile picture of the author liftyouup
    And yeah, the lighthouse analogy is great I saw myself as betterlifegiver instead of a salesconsultant. But you have to sell a product that actually makes their life better, and that's what you should be doing anyway.
  • Profile picture of the author liftyouup
    Just focus on getting better. That's the best thing by far! Learn everything, social skills, eat really healthy (that impacts the way you feel and think in a big way), there are certain supplements that increase happy-hormone production like tyrosine, bacopa, mucuna, probiotics, holy basil, reishi and so on, and see everything as a game. YOU are not the responses of others. YOU are yourself and on a personal level you will be with those who deserve to be with you, but in general just be better in every area every single day, this is a game we live in. Also, it helps A LOT to start focusing outwards. Focus on giving as much value as possible, don't focus on getting at all. If you just focus on giving and growing, you will be happy for the rest of your life and more secure in yourself than you have ever been and it will surpass what you even can imagine right now. (even though you should imagine it). As you grow and give people will love you for who you truly are, as you are coming forward. Also, remember to do what you love, it's your life
  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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  • Profile picture of the author Tony Laroche
    Rejection is a part of our life. We must take it as lesson. We need to find out why we get rejected and how can we overcome the problem. Don't take it so seriously. If you get rejected for anyone, just let it go. Prepare for you next mission. Self confidence can help you a lot to achieve your goal.
  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    speak softly and carry a big stick
  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
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  • Profile picture of the author Master Blake
    Preferably program your mind prior getting asleep and it will happen automatically. Your subconscious is highly alert while you sleep and very receptive to the messages received.

    Give it 30-60 days max and it will vanish.


    Results can occur instantaneously if the hypnotic track you listen is potent enough.

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