Is this a harmful thought: Everything happens for a reason?

by TNT011 8 replies
Hey guys,

Is it just me, or there's something seriously wrong when you hear someone says:

Everything happens for a reason!

What's that supposed to mean, exactly?! Good or bad, right or wrong, it just had to happen. What can you do about it? Accept it. Forget about it. There's nothing you could've done about it. You're helpless. Am I missing something?

I think that there's no particular reason for the things to happen or end up this way or another. We give them meaning. We give them a reason.

I had to lose this client because that situation helped unlock the mysteries of the universe or become a better person. Seriously? Some things (not to use some other word) just happen. No meaning. No reason. You don't waste time thinking about the reasons, you move on. In this example, I lost a client for this or that reason. Maybe my price or my work weren't OK. I will accept that, but there's no way I'm going to look for the higher meaning and purpose. It was a reason not THE reason for me to lose my client. Nothing special in the universe happened that day. It was a day just like any other. That's all.

Why is this thought so potentially harmful? Because it gives you a false sense of comfort and relief. You have to accept bad things because of that special reason. I honestly believe that our life would and could be better if we decide not accept this thought. Don't say to yourself that everything happens for a reason and you will notice a change immediately. It may hurt a little bit, but you will have a completely different perspective of your situation.

I lost a client. I need to change something, or I will lose more clients. This is a healthy attitude. Not, I lost a client, but there's some higher purpose and meaning I'm not currently aware of, let's go on with the work just it is right now.

I used to say a lot that everything happens for a reason, but now, I decided to change. What are your thoughts abut this one?

Thx,
T
#mind warriors #harmful #reason #thought
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  • Profile picture of the author Junaid khawaja
    Everything happens for a reason - and most of the time the reason is to teach you a lesson.

    Let me restructure it: Everything bad happens to teach you a lesson. Everything good happens to show you - you have really learned from your mistakes.

    Thanks
    Junaid
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    • Profile picture of the author TNT011
      Originally Posted by Junaid khawaja View Post

      Everything happens for a reason - and most of the time the reason is to teach you a lesson.

      Let me restructure it: Everything bad happens to teach you a lesson. Everything good happens to show you - you have really learned from your mistakes.

      Thanks
      Junaid
      Thank you Junaid, but sometimes I think that there's more bad than good associated with this thought, you keep repeating to yourself when something important happens in your life. Really not sure, if we should give it a break and try to examine the things from another perspective. Thank you for your reply.
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  • Profile picture of the author Randy McLean
    It's kind of a cop out. Especially when something bad happens.

    "A reason" implies that they don't necessarily know the reason. Sometimes things are so obvious they stare you right in the face. Other times not.

    Losing a client could mean your work wasn't what they were looking for, it could mean they were a jerk, could mean bad timing.

    I tend to use the saying more in positive circumstances after the fact. Like if what I perceive to be a bad situation arises but in the end something positive comes out of it and is rather unexpected.
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    • Profile picture of the author TNT011
      Originally Posted by Randy McLean View Post


      "A reason" implies that they don't necessarily know the reason. Sometimes things are so obvious they stare you right in the face. Other times not.
      The interpretation of these "reasons" is the biggest problem. We color them with our emotions. That's influencing our judgment. Thx.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    though it is true most people do not put any time in tryinh to figure out the reason ..

    my belief is we are hear to learn and grow ..so everything that happen pushes us to learn and/or grow

    whwn the same stuff happens over and over .. you are refusing to learn or grow ..and if you hit a point where you stop learning and growing .. some very bad thing might happen to either take you out or force you to learn and grow
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  • Profile picture of the author Jose Fourino
    I'm not saying that I have control but I can pretty much fathom out the process.
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  • Profile picture of the author opahopa333
    wow..When I'm watching TV series of LOST, I was obsessed with this phrase.
    And things in my life just started out of control.
    Almost everything that happened to me - I thought it should be. This is my destiny.
    This happend for some reason..
    I turned off the alarm clock, and if I late, I thought - this had to happen.
    So.. lately, of course, I left this thought. Because I want to control my life by myself.
    But for clients.. Don't be obsessed with each of them too. You can't please everyone.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kaupo Tomson
    I agree with Junaid khawaja. I also think that everything really does happen for a reason.

    Whatever happens, there most definitely was a sequence of events that lead to an outcome. If You don't like the outcome, change the events that are happening before the outcome.

    If the outcome is not to your likeing, that means that there is room to grow and improvments to be made. If you like the outcome, that means that your okey. Keep moving forward. Important thing is not to get hung up in the past. If you don't like the result, get back up, learn from it, get the silver lining out of it and improve upon it.

    In my opinion, things just don't happen. There are previous events that led to a specific outcome.
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