Let's see the Power of Social Support..

by Gioseffo Abramo 26 replies
Short version :

I have bunch of habits problems like waking up late, Pornography, and overall lack of discipline & self-control

It has some serious damage to my Life : my emotional level, my self-confidence // self-worth, feeling my life is a crap shit, haven't done anything to be proud of.

But, I'm here not to complain it, instead I need help

So I have known for some quite time that Social Support is a powerful tool of changing life

Here, I'm on my for 30 day Challenge for exercise and sleep early Habits

This is gonna be my Journal, to post daily about my progress

I was gonna do it offline but it lack some excitement so hey why not post it online and see if anyone can give support, give feedback and insight, or even maybe someone could be inspired

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

This is the Long Version :
here I'll tell you some background how I came into these problems, and the details of it

It could be useful for :

1. If you're going through some tough time, just reading this can help you by feeling "Oh My God he is going through the same shit / similiar shit as I am....."

I know cus I've felt that way

2. To have the broader sense of the Challenge so whomever want to give a solution, can give it in a much more detailed ones

3. Have a deeper connection so the mutual support can be richer in emotions

Oh and you can also post something like this with your own challenge and I will kindly support you the best I can as well

----alright here we go-----

It all started when I was a kid, about 10 year old, seeing my first porn

It was a picture of some naked girl

little did i know, that porn damage the brain so I became weaker to fight against temptation

and so, the porn thing keeps getting worse from pictures to videos, from 30 minutes to some hours, and still struggling it till today
so it's about 11 years of on-going battle

Porn was one of the source of me : Sleeping late, Waking up late, being lazy, hard to do the hard stuff, even one day I didn't do a midtest just because I was busy watching YouTube videos, which end up on a bad score almost failing at it.

One more thing.

I have a big family, total of more than 8 kids in my family

My Father, busy with his work, never really discipline me and his method is not by yelling or mad, but let me think by myself, yeah my father is the type of letting loose and go figure yourself

My Mother, the kind that is not having good relationship with today's technology,
end up lecturing me, judging, mad, and just can't seem to understand what I'm going through

but I still Love my Mom, no such thing as perfect parents.

that said, Free and Fast 24 Hour of Internet Connection in my Home
Parents that let loose me on to cope with Life
I went to School that also is not really strict, even when I didn't go to school for 7 days playing Phoenix Wright and downloading Half Life 2, Nothing happened, no significant punishment whatsoever

well fortunately I found out soon enough, that blaming doesn't solve my sh*t, but make it worse

So that was the story of how the biggest challenges in my life was born

I don't blame, but these bad habits just won't end that easily with just not blaming

I've dealt with great depression where one day i pray to be healed from all this like for the 1000th times, and having experience of failing over and over again, popping

"Will i ever get out of this ?"
"Should I try to just cope to live like this and not trying so hard ?"
" Is there any point on praying or trying ?"

One time I locked myself in my room for about 3 weeks, only coming out to eat when people are sleeping, midnight.
In the room playing games, porn, comics, etc.

I locked myself cus it's hard dealing with my college life, skipping class, not doing assignments, and it all piles up and I seem to can't handle that semester so I said aw fuc^ this sh*t I'm gonna repair it next next semester

--The WORST Decision in my Life
now sometime I stay up all night doing unimportant things,
well as you can imagine it's similiar to 3 weeks of nonstop drugs
even after that 3 weeks you commit of stopping, you'll still do the drugs once in a while

Headache, doubts, pain, all of that was my regular consumption

----

But, gladly I've been making some progress

and all this led me to Tony Robbins, Kelly McGonigal, Steve Pavlina, ZenHabits, etc.

Things I've tried

+ Meditating
+ Reading NLP, Habits, Addiction materials
+ Watching videos about habits, procrastination
+ Consulting

And here, typing to gain social support, My one step further to the Best Quality of Life I can Have

========

Now you knoe why I use forums,
not Facebook group, whatsapp group, because this is talking about the darkest time and thing I did,
I like to keep it anonymously while the social support is still available (Thank You Technology !!)

Any advice, feedback, and even small support is really really appreciated
#mind warriors #power #social #support
Avatar of Unregistered
  • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
    Day +- 21 of Exercise

    WOW

    I can't imagine that it's been three weeks nonstop since I commit to make exercising a habits
    this is quite an accomplishment for myself

    Today I almost quit it

    cus. "How about one day break ?
    "Hey you're feeling sleepy right ? why not just rest and exercise later ?"

    I didn't remember clearly how I got this ass to finally exercise,
    But glady, I did
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11037263].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author phucnguyentvp
    [DELETED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11037279].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by Gioseffo Abramo View Post

    Short version :


    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

    This is the Long Version :
    here I'll tell you some background how I came into these problems, and the details of it

    It could be useful for :

    1. If you're going through some tough time, just reading this can help you by feeling "Oh My God he is going through the same shit / similiar shit as I am....."

    I know cus I've felt that way

    2. To have the broader sense of the Challenge so whomever want to give a solution, can give it in a much more detailed ones

    3. Have a deeper connection so the mutual support can be richer in emotions

    Oh and you can also post something like this with your own challenge and I will kindly support you the best I can as well

    ----alright here we go-----

    It all started when I was a kid, about 10 year old, seeing my first porn

    It was a picture of some naked girl

    little did i know, that porn damage the brain so I became weaker to fight against temptation

    and so, the porn thing keeps getting worse from pictures to videos, from 30 minutes to some hours, and still struggling it till today
    so it's about 11 years of on-going battle

    Porn was one of the source of me : Sleeping late, Waking up late, being lazy, hard to do the hard stuff, even one day I didn't do a midtest just because I was busy watching YouTube videos, which end up on a bad score almost failing at it.

    One more thing.

    I have a big family, total of more than 8 kids in my family

    My Father, busy with his work, never really discipline me and his method is not by yelling or mad, but let me think by myself, yeah my father is the type of letting loose and go figure yourself

    My Mother, the kind that is not having good relationship with today's technology,
    end up lecturing me, judging, mad, and just can't seem to understand what I'm going through

    but I still Love my Mom, no such thing as perfect parents.

    that said, Free and Fast 24 Hour of Internet Connection in my Home
    Parents that let loose me on to cope with Life
    I went to School that also is not really strict, even when I didn't go to school for 7 days playing Phoenix Wright and downloading Half Life 2, Nothing happened, no significant punishment whatsoever

    well fortunately I found out soon enough, that blaming doesn't solve my sh*t, but make it worse

    So that was the story of how the biggest challenges in my life was born

    I don't blame, but these bad habits just won't end that easily with just not blaming

    I've dealt with great depression where one day i pray to be healed from all this like for the 1000th times, and having experience of failing over and over again, popping

    "Will i ever get out of this ?"
    "Should I try to just cope to live like this and not trying so hard ?"
    " Is there any point on praying or trying ?"

    One time I locked myself in my room for about 3 weeks, only coming out to eat when people are sleeping, midnight.
    In the room playing games, porn, comics, etc.

    I locked myself cus it's hard dealing with my college life, skipping class, not doing assignments, and it all piles up and I seem to can't handle that semester so I said aw fuc^ this sh*t I'm gonna repair it next next semester

    --The WORST Decision in my Life
    now sometime I stay up all night doing unimportant things,
    well as you can imagine it's similiar to 3 weeks of nonstop drugs
    even after that 3 weeks you commit of stopping, you'll still do the drugs once in a while

    Headache, doubts, pain, all of that was my regular consumption

    ----

    But, gladly I've been making some progress

    and all this led me to Tony Robbins, Kelly McGonigal, Steve Pavlina, ZenHabits, etc.

    Things I've tried

    + Meditating
    + Reading NLP, Habits, Addiction materials
    + Watching videos about habits, procrastination
    + Consulting

    And here, typing to gain social support, My one step further to the Best Quality of Life I can Have

    ========

    Now you knoe why I use forums,
    not Facebook group, whatsapp group, because this is talking about the darkest time and thing I did,
    I like to keep it anonymously while the social support is still available (Thank You Technology !!)

    Any advice, feedback, and even small support is really really appreciated
    I would go out more often to coffee shops, etc, and get rid of some of the porn.

    Once you interact with attractive women, (some are stunning) you will quickly release that the porn has little substance, or is silly and they are human beings just like us.

    Excessive well, you know, also leads to depression, and medical issues if it is excessive.

    Mental institutions have a high rate of this activity.

    And mass media tells us to do it daily, BS! This is based on an iffy study.

    All it leads to, (apart from depression) is a shorter life span.

    There is a very good book, on all of this, the name excapes me, but it is Chinese, (english writing) and deals with this subject or retaining fluids to evolve spiritually and be mentally and physically fit.

    It also attracts women, no seriously.

    Research it online, and good luck.

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    • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
      Hey thanks a lot for dropping this in

      So, more real interaction to a woman = less porn

      haven't really thought about it like that, so thanks again
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by Gioseffo Abramo View Post

        Hey thanks a lot for dropping this in

        So, more real interaction to a woman = less porn

        haven't really thought about it like that, so thanks again
        Yep, but don't ditch all of it, otherwise you will be online again finding more. Just get rid of some of the more stupider ones.

        And yes, having a very attractive woman or two serving you keeps reality in check and the fantasy world in a box.

        As for the retaining part, don't do it for a month or 6 weeks, and you will see women differently, and on occasion they will not be able to take their eyes off you.

        I won't get into energy fields and such, but some women can tell, and they are fascinated by you, as most men, well don't.

        Not sure if it helps attract a girlfriend, but it is very flattering to have an attractive woman look at you and try to to act like she is.

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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Good for you for deciding you want to change, doing something about it, and for taking the (difficult) first step. If I see anything I can help you with, I'll be happy to post/support you.
    Signature
    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
      Good for you for deciding you want to change, doing something about it, and for taking the (difficult) first step. If I see anything I can help you with, I'll be happy to post/support you.
      Thanks for commenting this, really appreciated

      Yes, anything helps. Article, video, books, websites that you think is helpful please share

      Btw, I LOVE the Quotes on your signature !
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11038998].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        Originally Posted by Gioseffo Abramo View Post

        Thanks for commenting this, really appreciated
        Welcome.
        : )

        Btw, I LOVE the Quotes on your signature!
        Thanks. : ) I stumbled upon it when I was have a really "inspiring" day.

        Jonathan

        P.S.
        Thought you may find these quotations helpful/motivating:

        Signature
        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11040233].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Stellan Moreira
    Want to learn how to quit all of that? How to become a self-realized individual with no limitations and infinite potential? Well... you already are. But if you read this book and implement what it teaches, you will experience a life BEYOND worth living.


    https://www.amazon.com/Million-Dolla...ywords=success
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  • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
    Day 22 of Exercise

    One of my best day ever

    I usually wake up feeling foggy brain, still sleepy, and just not fresh

    My Brain always tell me to exercise first thing in the morning
    yet My Body doesn't seem to say the same

    But gladly with the help of my family,
    I was told to do sth and it helped me move around

    Finally doing the Exercise in the morning !
    yay, feels really really great
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    if you are 21 and still in college don't worry to much don't beat youself up for beating.....to much ..

    the best way to be more productive now is to have a good vision of where you want to be in 5-10 years ..

    I will not tell you to give up porn or gaming entirely ..just limit the porn to when you need to clear back up..and not as a main form uf entertainment ..to much porn eventually within the next 5 years or so you will lose the ability to get aroused easy and sex will not feel as good when you do get the chance ..and once the sickness care system gets you on cholesterol lowering drug and blood pressure meds ..in your late 30's you will need viagra ..because your body produces test from cholesterol .so the mix of the two eventually causes erectile disfunction .

    your parents did not to bad at all if they had 8 children to support the oldest two and the baby the last get the most attention the ones in between that your lucky if mom and dad remered your name half the time ..sorry i didn't meant to call you i meant to call your brother .

    you are at a point you know you need to change ..with the spare time you have learn to use your hand to make things or learn to make thing people want and you like making ..

    figure out how to travel outside the country ..learn so spanish and visit central or south american countries ...
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  • Profile picture of the author treka
    I truly wish you the best of luck with making the changes you want to make. I'll try to keep up with your progress
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  • Profile picture of the author jamaica225
    You CAN do this. It took time to get to where you are now. It took some balls to even put it out there on this forum so you own it...I respect that. Lots of little's my friend, don't expect big changes, but welcome small ones. Get out of your comfort zone and see what you can do to stretch your physical and mental self. You will be surprised and happy with yourself in a year.
    Signature

    Brian B.

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    • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
      You CAN do this. It took time to get to where you are now. It took some balls to even put it out there on this forum so you own it...I respect that. Lots of little's my friend, don't expect big changes, but welcome small ones. Get out of your comfort zone and see what you can do to stretch your physical and mental self. You will be surprised and happy with yourself in a year.
      Thanks a lot for reminding me this..

      "Success and failure are not overnight experiences; it's all the small decisions along the way that cause people to fail or succeed"

      -- Tony Robbins

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  • Profile picture of the author TJGoonan
    Good luck..create your next opportunity.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joyce Birmingham
    Looks like you're already taking a positive step forward. Sometimes the hardest struggle is against ourselves! I like your determination. All the best to you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
    Wooow I didn't expect these many encouragement
    I feel really grateful having you all here and more energized to continue this path of self-redemption..

    Day 27 of Exercise

    There are SO MANY studies about benefits exercise, including :
    + Decrease. even Defeat, Procrastination
    + Healthier
    + Happier
    + Of course, it fights Porn for good

    Also I wanted to exercise because I always feel sleepy in the morning

    maybe this is due to the many many hours spent in front of laptop, smartphone at NIGHT

    you know that feeling ?

    Sleepy, foggy, in the Morning
    and Alert, fresh, can't sleep in the Evening

    --
    After 27 days of 15 min. exercise

    today, this morning..
    I STILL FEEL SLEEPY and almost sleep many times at class

    Sheet. Farting Beach.

    BUT

    then I just Breath it Out...

    you know what ?

    Everything big takes time.
    Every Masterpiece takes time.

    Breath again..

    The more I rage at how it seems my effort is futile or NOT FAST ENOUGH
    The more likely that negative sh*t drag my life down

    So, If you're like me,
    Struggling, trying for solution

    and at first it seems it didn't work
    it seems it's not fast enough

    KEEP GOING

    It Will Get Better, before you know it.
    Just focus on solving it, and enjoy it.

    ========

    Thanks for all who support me, this is almost a week
    and I'm Really sorry if I haven't replied to you all one by one

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  • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
    Oh yeah almost forgot this

    I'm 10 DAYS Free and Clean of Porn

    Usually at this time the craving and feeling to watch it is still low

    I find it on 21 or 30 days, where it really hit and press me up
    (So about 11 and 20 days from now, gulp)

    My record is about 2-3 months clean of porn, I think
    I haven't really counted it seriously

    For now, I want to focus on Meditating and Exercising
    and see how that helps
    (Up until now it helps a lot, even if I haven't quit porn for good)
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  • Profile picture of the author macleod22
    I like your personal responsibility approach and understanding we are our own impediment to change.
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    • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
      I like your personal responsibility approach and understanding we are our own impediment to change.
      Thank you and I hope It could help us all to take more control and responsibility of our lives.

      "Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."
      -Anne Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author timexer
    Great post. In improving yourself I guess it's all about exposing yourself to the good things. Surrounding yourself with the right people, books, movies, challenges, inspirations, and opportunities. And this world is full of opportunities. Each and every day you are making a lot of choices and you are responsible for their outcome. If you make good decisions, great opportunities will arise. Suddenly you'll find yourself meeting more and more awesome people, taking part in events and situations that you'd never thought would become available to you.

    "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

    - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
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    • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
      Great post. In improving yourself I guess it's all about exposing yourself to the good things. Surrounding yourself with the right people, books, movies, challenges, inspirations, and opportunities. And this world is full of opportunities. Each and every day you are making a lot of choices and you are responsible for their outcome. If you make good decisions, great opportunities will arise. Suddenly you'll find yourself meeting more and more awesome people, taking part in events and situations that you'd never thought would become available to you.

      "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

      - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
      it reminded of this one cool article

      https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/20...a-few-minutes/

      Law of Attraction also has ideas like yours

      Also One of my intention of writing it here is also exposing to positive people on the internet, even if we don't know each other personally

      thanks for reminding me that
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  • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
    Finally..

    30 Days of Exercise

    Writing that down only need a few seconds and some tapping on the keyboard

    But boy that was.... un-word-able (?)
    It was hard, long, amazing, interesting, and many things I can't describe by my limited vocabulary

    also I'm 13 Days free of Porn

    And just the day before yesterday, I mean last Tuesday
    Wow the urge, the "Want" to see and wac*ing off really hit me

    I was alone, had much free time, and lil bit horny

    And you know, this is some chat I had with "other me" (OM)

    OM : "Hey, Psst, Little bit sexy time won't hurt"

    Me : "Fu*& You. It will,

    By the way I have posted my progress on the internet that i will COMMIT not watching porn and jacking off of it."

    OM : "Well you can always say on the internet

    'Hey guys, I failed on my 11 days
    And you know, we fail one time or another
    Please send me encouragement to rise again. Plz.'

    Me : ..... (Sh*t that was quite good)

    After I thought about it

    ME : "Hey You know what ? Yes I can say that
    But It will Look really Bad and all this purpose and time I put on writing will be useless

    And also, wouldn't it be better if I can say on the internet,

    OH YEAH I FU*&ING BEAT THAT CRAVING
    I'M ONTO (Let's say) 33 DAYS CLEAN BABY
    CAN'T STOP ME NOW BIT*&

    Oh My God
    Just Imagining that already feels damn good


    ======

    So yeah,
    I already feel (Internet) Social Support Works.
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by Gioseffo Abramo View Post

      Finally..

      30 Days of Exercise

      Writing that down only need a few seconds and some tapping on the keyboard

      But boy that was.... un-word-able (?)
      It was hard, long, amazing, interesting, and many things I can't describe by my limited vocabulary

      also I'm 13 Days free of Porn

      And just the day before yesterday, I mean last Tuesday
      Wow the urge, the "Want" to see and wac*ing off really hit me

      I was alone, had much free time, and lil bit horny

      And you know, this is some chat I had with "other me" (OM)

      OM : "Hey, Psst, Little bit sexy time won't hurt"

      Me : "Fu*& You. It will,

      By the way I have posted my progress on the internet that i will COMMIT not watching porn and jacking off of it."

      OM : "Well you can always say on the internet

      'Hey guys, I failed on my 11 days
      And you know, we fail one time or another
      Please send me encouragement to rise again. Plz.'

      Me : ..... (Sh*t that was quite good)

      After I thought about it

      ME : "Hey You know what ? Yes I can say that
      But It will Look really Bad and all this purpose and time I put on writing will be useless

      And also, wouldn't it be better if I can say on the internet,

      OH YEAH I FU*&ING BEAT THAT CRAVING
      I'M ONTO (Let's say) 33 DAYS CLEAN BABY
      CAN'T STOP ME NOW BIT*&

      Oh My God
      Just Imagining that already feels damn good


      ======

      So yeah,
      I already feel (Internet) Social Support Works.
      Well done, but remember that you are 21, so, going cold turkey indefinitely is probably,.....well, if you fall, then don't be too hard on yourself.

      I think that the Chinese advocate once or twice a month, for your age group, and 50+ hmm, a lot less.

      Although priests go indefinitely, but some go a bit ga ga, as a result.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11046722].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

        Well done, but remember that you are 21, so, going cold turkey indefinitely is probably,.....well, if you fall, then don't be too hard on yourself.

        I think that the Chinese advocate once or twice a month, for your age group, and 50+ hmm, a lot less.

        Although priests go indefinitely, but some go a bit ga ga, as a result.

        don't need the porn though ..the porn just gives unreasonable expectation .. if you watch it to much

        if i could go back to when i was 21 ..id learn spanish ..so many missed opportunities because i knew i didn't appeal to Woman raised in the USA .. with a 2k a month USd after tax income that allows you to live anywhere withhigh speed internet .. there are many safe countries to stay in live a nice lifestyle and have a babe of a girlfriend ..
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11046736].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Gioseffo Abramo
        Well done, but remember that you are 21, so, going cold turkey indefinitely is probably,.....well, if you fall, then don't be too hard on yourself.

        I think that the Chinese advocate once or twice a month, for your age group, and 50+ hmm, a lot less.

        Although priests go indefinitely, but some go a bit ga ga, as a result.
        Yup I don't plan to quit it cold turkey like that,
        I'll try to quit as long as I can, in a minimum target of 33 Days

        Yes I welcome failure as a learning and success process
        So I won't beat and be too hard to myself

        I've been there a lot
        I thought the more I'm hard to myself I'll regret it more and eventually stop porn faster

        But it doesn't

        Forgiving and trying best for next hit is always the best
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11051462].message }}
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