Fear of Success?

OMG! I almost spit my drink all over the computer! I'll have to remember this. Too bad I can't post it somewhere, I think the kids would be able to read it. :rolleyes:

Yeah, I understand the bull's eye thing. I think I sort of feel that way. Everyone I know is the paycheck to paycheck crowd. I think sometimes I feel like if I really succeed then I'm not sure where I'll fit in. Especially when it comes to family. Let's just say when I tell people I do Internet Marketing I'm met with blank stares. You know, the deer in headlights.

It does seem that one of the major reasons people don't take action is soley based on the Fear of Success. The thought of what your family and close friends may think when you make it big time does seem to hold people back. How many times have you been given a formula for success, something that is proven to work and just needs action and yet that fear incites you to just let it go by!

Shalom everyone,

Well it looks like I am about to quote everyone or almost everyone who has posted up to now. LOL

Where to start... It seems that most people have some form of fear/phobia when it comes to success of any kind.

When we try to pin down these fears then it seems that new ones appear out of nowhere.

If this is a dumb question for this forum then I want to be ranked along with you for experiencing the effects of dumbness (if that's a word).

I, myself, have an extreme fear of asking dumb questions... Don't believe me check my profile & the number of posts I have contributed to this forum & how many years I've been a member & add them up.

It's been said that seven characteristics are found in a wise man.

1. A wise man does not offer his answer before one who is wiser than him.
2. He does not interrupt another man who is speaking.
3. He is not hasty to answer.
4. His questions are pertinent to the subject under discussion.
5. His answers are in accord with the accepted decision. (This is a real problem for me 'cause I keep asking the "Why" questions like "Why is that the only answer?". LOL)
6. When he speaks, he presents his material in an organized, linear manner.
7. When asked a question to which he has not heard the answer, he answers honestly and says, "I do not know, I have not heard." (m.Avot 5:7)

I know that I should interact with y'all but this fear of being judged as stupid for saying or asking something within a crowd of people who are successful at what I am wanting to do is very real to me so instead I just watch & learn from everyone... It seems safer that way.

The part where you say:

This is the million dollar question for me & probly for everyone who is struggling to find their way.

The leeches you say... I agree whole heartedly with you. I struggle with support or the lack thereof and to not be thought of as a loser or someone who is just hanging myself on dreams which will never come true.

I fight the thoughts about how they don't believe in me now but when I'm successful you can bet they'll not only believe in me then but they'll probly want some or most of the profits from what I have always, solely, struggled to accomplish. God forbid they help me get their by encouraging me along the way.

Then there's those who were never known before... How can one know who wants to know you & get to know you or just wants to get to know your money (success).

I just wish I found it that easy to shut those little voices up. About the time I get them shut up then someone walks through the door and contributes new things for the voices to say. LOL

Blank stares & crickets chirping in the background & someone always says... Alllll Righty then! (Usually my daughter says that everyone else just changes the subject)

I completely relate to this. I've tried to do both (i.e. work at a job & Internet marketing at the same time.) but when your job is being a corrections officer with all of it's stress there wasn't much time to work on success as an Internet marketer so I quit that & went to driving a truck because the laws (DOT law that regulates trucking) say I'm supposed to stop every 8hrs to sleep & the job was supposed to be low stress (i.e. just driving all day... A no brainer, right? right!) & I could think about my Internet marketing things while driving then just do them when I got through with my day... Low stress... ha... yea right!!!

Now I just do a little computer repairing & rent lots out to people for my income so most of my time can be focused on IM but that has major drawbacks to it too.

I agree with you almost completely. (Almost completely mostly because I rarely agree with even myself completely... Everything is always apt to change on ya.)

This definitely figures into it... No one wants to be thought of as someone who won't or can't keep their word and the fear that we may not be able to maintain our new responsibility is very strong.

All I can say to you is... I love your video you have on your optin page... If your videos I am about to download & view are as riveting and hard hitting as that one then I am in for something special when I receive them in my inbox...

I was thinking as I was finishing watching it that if you removed the images & the words which point back to your site then you would be able to sell the use of it to other Internet marketers to use on their optin forms or if you were willing to create videos like that one for particular niches or whatever then people would be willing to pay you to do it, I'm sure... It's loaded with the truth & emotion that most people are experiencing & it's extremely compelling... It was compelling to me anyway.

btw you have a submit button graphics problem there... at least it didn't show me anything but a big rectangle box in my FF when I went there but clicking on the box worked.

I will sum this up by saying that as humans we are extremely fearful of being thought of as idiots & losers.

We fear the loss of the love & respect as well as fearing the opinions of our families & friends the most.

I believe that our success or failure is directly dependent on what we say to ourselves & what we say to ourselves, so many times, is what we think others, that we hold in high esteem, have said or are saying to or about us.

We are products of our childhood & society reinforces those things we were taught when we were children (i.e. get a job & make sure it has a good benefit package, or at least just get a job {acronym for J.O.B is "Just Over Broke"}) & as adults we fear being more successful than what we were taught we have the right to be.

Maybe some of these things are what's holding some of us back & keeping us from experiencing the success we so diligently desire.

My definition of success is:

Success is not a destination... Success is the entire trip. If it was a destination then it would be called Succeed as in finished so now all we can do is brag about what WAS accomplished which, in & of itself, is quite useless for the present needs except that it can help motivate us to continue BEING a success at whatever we're doing now.

I'm sure y'all may be about ready for me to wrap this thing up, now, so I will leave you with this thought...

Kevin Riley said:

The taxman isn't really anyone to be concerned about until you become successful... He figures in with the leeches. LOL

Hope I didn't bore y'all too much.

Shalom,
Frank Shrum

Btw Shalom is Hebrew for Peace.

Not succeeding is to me, the same as not trying.
I see each attempt as a success in its own,
success isn't measured in money or fame.

Instead it should be measured by what you get out of it.
Whether it is:
Lesson learned
Contacts made
Skills fine tuned
anything success doesn't always need to be monetary, although it does make it a lot nicer.

like it says in my son's favorite movie,"keep moving forward."
(Meet the Robinsons)