I really need your help guys!

Ugh,

So I'm having just a horrible, awful time. Long story short:

I met and started going out with a girl that was much older than me almost 2 years ago, I was 20/21. We had this great relationship at first, tons of love and affection. And then it went downhill slowly, until it was the opposite of what it was in the beginning. We couldn't take each other, so finally last night I left/got kicked out.

I wasn't able to change any of my behaviors for some reason the entire time I've known here. The situation was that I lived at her house and was supposed to take care of it for room and board, and just be a good friend to her as much as I could. I struggled with my inability to change and be a good person to her. I don't know if it is because I was angry because our relationship ended or what, but I was never able to change in that environment as much as I tried to will myself to do it so that it would benefit my life, and that I could treat her better, which she deserved.

So right now I'm out of there, she says we won't, but I'm sure I'll see her again at some point. I'm really dedicated to developing and changing myself and really using this as an opportunity to put the past behind me and have a fresh start to change, be the person I have tried and truly want to be, and really dedicate this entire experience to benefit me instead of sulking in a deep depression about it.

She's someone that never deserved to be treated the way I treated her (it never got physical or anything). But I know that she tried, and did help me out a lot. She was ridiculously intelligent, emotionally intelligent, and the whole situation is just really disheartening.

So I'm just asking any of you guys if you have any advice for me or can leave some type of quote or some positive message for me to read. I'm just having a horrible time going through this, I haven't ever really gone through something like this. I was around her nearly every day for 2 years, and even though I would hardly talk to her a lot of the time, I honestly cared for her even though I didn't change any of my behaviors to make her feel better or benefit myself, I still truly cared, and still do care for her deeply.

I've been in a really negative place for quite some time, if anyone can help bring any sort of positivity - even saying it's going to be ok - I would be really grateful. Thanks guys.

SS