Do You Kick And Scream Your Way To Success?

The Question Remains - How Do You Find Joy In The Moment?

This model offers a simple and effective approach:

Most of us naturally find it easier to respond to conditions that clearly exist. If our environment looks gloomy or hostile, we naturally react to what we perceive. Our emotions may be dulled by a gloomy outlook; with fear, anxiety and anger being well-known common responses to hostile conditions.

On the other hand, when conditions are more Utopian, with the sun shining above us; family, friends and workmates all speaking kindly; and society's ills, such as global-warming, poverty and misery no more, our emotions are far more buoyant.

Unfortunately, we seldom detect Utopian conditions.

The normal approach, and the one adopted by most of us, is to accept that our responses are determined by external conditions - other people, events, government, natural disasters, and more - and insist that those conditions change so that we can feel better. Much of our activity is then devoted to changing people's opinions and behavior and gaining approval, working hard to meet the boss's expectations, and generally carrying out various duties and responsibilities. If we are successful in shaping conditions this way, we feel good. If external conditions are not favorable, we feel poorly.

This is the default approach: we respond to what we get and regard external conditions as the source of our happiness or misery, then try to change those external conditions so that we can feel better. This is an endless pursuit where we have surrendered power over our lives - and happiness - to others, as well as to external forces.

Much of our attention and activity, then, aims at Direct Change of what we perceive in the environment.

However, the responses generated by the external conditions may not be favorable to a change for the better. When we perceive hostility, for instance, our autonomic responses are intended to deal with hostile conditions - this is not normally with love and kindness!

This is a Catch22 situation as responding to what we perceive or believe to be true produces a reaction that generates more of the same.

There is a more effective approach to gaining what we want. This is Indirect Change. It involves being pro-active and choosing those feelings which we know to be most productive in giving us the outcome we want.

As these feelings are responses to thoughts and the perception of external conditions may not be favorable, we have to look for thoughts that WILL prompt those good feelings. For instance, having an estranged partner with numerous failings may generate feelings of annoyance, anger, or worse. Reminding ourselves of the strengths and skills of that person - they were once easy to recognize - triggers better feelings and calmer dealings with our former partner. Look for thoughts that generate improved feelings. Establish an inner harmony with the result that you want.

This sets up an alignment between where we are and where we want to be. Since we feel good about those things we desire, creating inner conditions (perceptions) where we feel good places us in harmony with those things we want.

Likewise, negative feelings - such as rage, despair, and anxiety - establish harmony with those things we do NOT want, making it easier to attract them. For instance, acting out of anger and rage drives not only acts of aggression and violence towards others - which attracts more of the same - but, beyond our original targets, others respond emotionally to our outbursts. Arguments beget arguments; scorn begets scorn; insults beget insults; retribution invites a like response, and so on. Also, those who do not share our aggressive feelings - those in harmony with warmth and kindness - are repelled.

In the same way, good feelings impel our actions and impact on those around us: joy is greeted in admiration; happiness, kindness, and generosity are expressed in terms that others respond favorably to and encourage results in harmony with our feelings.

To generate success, don't worry if conditions aren't quite right. Produce the feelings of success that drive appropriate actions and alert us to opportunities. Look for the thoughts that arouse feelings of success and bring us into alignment with the outcome that we want.

Establish an inner harmony with the result that you desire.

If you wish for joy and happiness, look for thoughts that produce those feelings and set up an alignment with where you want to be. Choose to feel good no matter the conditions. If you want happiness, choose to feel happy. If you want joy, choose to feel joy. If you want success...

Choose thoughts that prompt feelings which are in harmony with the outcome you want. Take creative control of your life.

Ivan

Sometimes the worst conditions can bring out the best in an individual. A lot of people from Jesus up to Mother Theresa are just some of the best examples of people who thrived under extreme conditions or constant threats to life, other people, weather, health, politics, and faith in God. They persevered because they know that these are all trials. Trials that can be hurdled once you set goals and enjoy the fullness of life. That a great mindset to help yourself and others can bear fruit.

Applying this mindset in business is kinda tricky for newbies who haven't found their own goals to achieve success. All of us in some ways have tried to "feel our way" around certain environments that it takes time to "adapt" and gain acceptance for our achievements. Keeping a positive outlook in life is a must, under trying conditions, for the sake of sanity and integrity.