To Women -> Are we just a "Check List"?

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Han Fan

Women often complains

man

doesn't have feelings...

doesn't have passion...

doesn't know how to express ourselves....

but, to a women, are we men nothing but a "check list"?

* Handsome
* Rich
* Protective

etc..

Han

And men complain just as much as women and have their own checklists.

*Big breasts
*Nice behind
*Submissive - where's my sandwich and beer?

etc.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Teresa

(Not all men & women are like this. No offense to any)

Thanks
2 replies

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Chris Worner 14 years ago

Originally Posted by Teresa Coppes

*Submissive - where's my sandwich and beer?

etc.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Teresa

(Not all men & women are like this. No offense to any)

Dont you mean Steak? :p

Chris
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Han Fan

14 years ago

Blame on the DNA code...

What is your check list? Teresa?

It's great to see some real comments from ladies...

Han

Originally Posted by Teresa Coppes

And men complain just as much as women and have their own checklists.

*Big breasts
*Nice behind
*Submissive - where's my sandwich and beer?

etc.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Teresa

(Not all men & women are like this. No offense to any)

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acrasial

14 years ago

How about this:

It's all about how YOU see yourself, not about how women view you. Your views reflect in your actions, which therefore tell women that you do not value yourself beyond the mentioned description you gave.

Women will ONLY see what you allow them to see, and obviously you are sending off those signals and vibes, and heck...look at your profile, what does it say?

"Million dollar rain maker", so BAM right there, you are telling me, you want people to know you are a million dollar man, and that you seek approval that way.

Also what is a rain maker often perceived as in the western society? Well for starters, someone might link that to a healer, or someone who protects the people in general, as what do people need rain for in the first place? Well they need it to grow their produce, so people can eat, and so that they can go to bed knowing they just earned a source of income to survive. So here you are suggesting you are the guy who can fix things, or the guy who can bring some sort of comfort and protection here because you are a million dollar guy.

Now that's just from one line, what you are telling me. So imagine what you are subliminally telling women, without them even realizing it, through your actions and words in real life?

Thanks
2 replies

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Han Fan

14 years ago

Ha Ha...I am loving this...

This is the best analysis I ever got from a female...

We all been programmed, no matter what gender you are..

"Do it Now!"

Implies

you are demanding...

you hare sense of purpose...

Or

you are just reminding yourself...
don't hesitate on your ideas...take action..

Also Implies...

That you might be "what if..." type of person...

Han

Originally Posted by acrasial

How about this:

It's all about how YOU see yourself, not about how women view you. Your views reflect in your actions, which therefore tell women that you do not value yourself beyond the mentioned description you gave.

Women will ONLY see what you allow them to see, and obviously you are sending off those signals and vibes, and heck...look at your profile, what does it say?

"Million dollar rain maker", so BAM right there, you are telling me, you want people to know you are a million dollar man, and that you seek approval that way.

Also what is a rain maker often perceived as in the western society? Well for starters, someone might link that to a healer, or someone who protects the people in general, as what do people need rain for in the first place? Well they need it to grow their produce, so people can eat, and so that they can go to bed knowing they just earned a source of income to survive. So here you are suggesting you are the guy who can fix things, or the guy who can bring some sort of comfort and protection here because you are a million dollar guy.

Now that's just from one line, what you are telling me. So imagine what you are subliminally telling women, without them even realizing it, through your actions and words in real life?

Thanks
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Dennis Gaskill 14 years ago

Originally Posted by Han Fan

We all been programmed, no matter what gender you are..

...which is why I often encourage people to question everything, especially the beliefs you've held since childhood. Are they really your beliefs, or are they programmed beliefs? Do they still serve you well? Are they limiting beliefs, as so many are?

Can one have insight without looking within?
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KenThompson

14 years ago

Originally Posted by acrasial

How about this:

It's all about how YOU see yourself, not about how women view you. Your views reflect in your actions, which therefore tell women that you do not value yourself beyond the mentioned description you gave.

Now that's just from one line, what you are telling me. So imagine what you are subliminally telling women, without them even realizing it, through your actions and words in real life?

Well said, good thoughts. Accurate.

Originally Posted by Han Fan

We all been programmed, no matter what gender you are..

Yes, in a very real sense we have been programmed. And it continues every day...

Media, politicicans, those who rule the world we live in who herd the masses like
cattle.

But there's danger in stopping with the thought we've all been programmed. We can
each decide to unprogram ourselves. The list of dangers is long, but ultimately it's
an easy crutch to lean on and can serve some as an excuse for refusing to take
responsibility for their minds and thinking.

Unprogramming, or de-programming, one's self takes effort, education, and greater
awareness.

Edit: Additional yet very relevant thought.
Warning: It may cause discomfort.

Han... there was a time in my life when I had similar thoughts
and feelings along the lines of what "seems" to be the feelings
behind your post.

I abandoned them a long time ago.

The truth of the matter is that everyone engages in "masked intent."

Including you... including me. No one escapes that one because
everyone does it. But don't rush to too many assumptions, here.

The positive to take away is to use that realization for better and
clearer communications and relationships - of all flavors.

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ryanman

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Han Fan

Women often complains

man

doesn't have feelings...

doesn't have passion...

doesn't know how to express ourselves....

but, to a women, are we men nothing but a "check list"?

* Handsome
* Rich
* Protective

etc..

Han

Not all women complain...And when they do complain all they are trying to tell you is that there is an unfulfilled need they have which isn't being met.

So in other words when she says you don't have feelings etc...She is indirectly telling that she wants you to be more attentive, loving etc towards her.

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success5564 14 years ago

go look at appliedmindsciences.info
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Jonathan 2.0 Banned 14 years ago

Originally Posted by ryanman

So in other words when she says you don't have feelings etc...She is indirectly telling that she wants you to be more attentive, loving etc towards her.

Yeah. That or she's being a pain in the ass and should be ignored.
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affilorama-portal

14 years ago

Originally Posted by ryanman

Not all women complain...And when they do complain all they are trying to tell you is that there is an unfulfilled need they have which isn't being met

Oh, you are sooo very very very correct!
And here's my checklist:
- loving partner
- co-housekeeper
- co-childcare provider

Thanks
1 reply

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KenThompson 14 years ago

Originally Posted by affilorama-portal

Oh, you are sooo very very very correct!
And here's my checklist:
- loving partner
- co-housekeeper
- co-childcare provider

lol... Boom Boom Boom Boom

The pitter-patter of incoming artillery...
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AwesomePossum

14 years ago

I'm no girl but try this:

1. Be present and involved with a girl and in your surroundings

2. Actually engage and appreciate the conversations...don't go status talking...like "ya...I just got back from the office. My employees are really inefficient right now....or no I'm going to stop because I can rant forever lol... but you get the picture...don't wait for your turn to talk! Engage in talk...you'll go places you never thought possible

Don't say...oh I so know that!! Because if you did, you wouldn't be asking about checklists.

Girls? Yay or nay

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Emily Meeks

14 years ago

I don't know what this checklist nonsense is about, but I DO require men to use their brains, no exceptions - I don't care how pretty you are.

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SP11

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Han Fan

Women often complains

man

doesn't have feelings...

doesn't have passion...

doesn't know how to express ourselves....

but, to a women, are we men nothing but a "check list"?

* Handsome
* Rich
* Protective

etc..

Han

Oh Dear! I guess I'd better swap my husband because.......

he does have feelings...

he sometimes has passion....

he does definitely express himself...(although a previous girlfriend said he had the emotions of a plank of wood.....guess he didn't love her ;-) )

he is not what I'd call handsome on the outside - I hate hairy backs!!(but very handsome on the inside!)

he is CERTAINLY NOT rich(I wish!!)!!!

he can be protective!!!

but I love him to bits just the way he is...........well......

maybe he's just a bit too tidy for my liking!!! Never sits down and relaxes unless everything is spick and span!!

So no you guys are NOT all checklists any more than we women are!! Otherwise no-one would have married me -

can't cook, hate housework, not submissive, not rich!!!

but happily married and working on myself to become a better person!!!

Sandra x

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badboy_Nick

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Han Fan

Women often complains

man

doesn't have feelings...

doesn't have passion...

doesn't know how to express ourselves....

but, to a women, are we men nothing but a "check list"?

* Handsome
* Rich
* Protective

etc..

Han

The only difference is that women tend to have a looooonger checklist for us men than the other way around. Men just go "nice butt, cute face, half a brain ... that'll do", whereas women have a whole raft of them "handsome, rich, funny, tall, romantic, confident, is he listening to me, etc". Women just liek to over-complicate things whereas men are simple, really

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Han Fan

14 years ago

YUP!

exactly my point..

Han

Originally Posted by badboy_Nick

The only difference is that women tend to have a looooonger checklist for us men than the other way around. Men just go "nice butt, cute face, half a brain ... that'll do", whereas women have a whole raft of them "handsome, rich, funny, tall, romantic, confident, is he listening to me, etc". Women just liek to over-complicate things whereas men are simple, really

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mahesh2k

14 years ago

I think women don't have checklist but they have stack, they just prioritize stack whenever they want and this is where we get wrong by trying to figure out what they think or want or guess what is in there checklist.

On the other hand being serious and talking about business all the time is rarely appreciated by women. :| (or maybe i'm wrong on this one ? please no kicks ladies

).

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AwesomePossum

14 years ago

None of you guys actually have girls(meaningful relationships) do you?

hmmm....maybe that's saying something

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KatieLeo

14 years ago

I think the more you rely on another person for your happiness the more of a web you spin for yourself. Self empowerment is the way to go, then you can meet a like soul who doesn't lay so much on you to make them 'happy' either. Much better 'deal' all around I find anyway

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AwesomePossum

14 years ago

haha...ya most definitely Katie...when you understand yourself, relationships become an amazing thing

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samthor

14 years ago

maybe you call it a check list; but some of us call it STANDARDS.
you think we'd let any old bozo into our most vulnerable areas? (heart, mind, soul etc.)

I'd recommend reading Way of the Superior Man by David Dieda

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J Bold

14 years ago

Did anyone say "funny" yet? All the lists I've seen of what attracts women to men have "funny" somewhere in the top 3. Be funny!

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acrasial 14 years ago

Originally Posted by redicelander

Did anyone say "funny" yet? All the lists I've seen of what attracts women to men have "funny" somewhere in the top 3. Be funny!

"LIST" WOMEN DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT

A lot of women DO NOT know what they want. They create generic lists from ideas which society gives them.

For instance, as little kids they may watch the Disney movies, and see the girl with the man falling in love, singing, dancing etc... and also getting married.

So then they think they have to find a prince charming, or a guy who does all of those things.

But wait, that's not all. As they grow older, they start to watch the relationships around them (their parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sibblings etc..) and see how those function...and then adapt their likes and wants accordingly.

So then they get ideas from this. They also watch more mature movies, and start to wean off the cartoons. These movies show all kinds of things, and suggest that men should make her laugh, make her smile...there should be a spark etc etc etc...

So here she is, finally matured, thinking she is supposed to find the man, fall in love, live happily ever after and get married...only that's not exactly happening.

So what does she do? She goes back to the basics again. What does the guy have to have, she asks herself (although she truly has no clue of what she wants), and then this generic list comes into play.

He's gotta be funny, handsome, rich.

HONESTLY==> When she finds that, she WILL NOT be satisfied. She will not be happy, and she will not feel fulfilled. Instead, she will get miserable for the most part.

She will become miserable, because she will realize there is more to it than simply being funny, or good looking, or rich. In fact, what do they have in common? What do they share? Is he supportive? Does he challenge her?

Those sorts of ideas will come into play, although she may not realize it yet, and then she will start longing for something more, because now she is starting to realize what she actually wants.

A lot of women are not aware of this, and the one's who are, are the ones studying in this, and are the ones trying to understand themselves and men.

Take the generic list as a sign of a woman who is not fully mature yet, and as a woman who doesn't have enough experience or knowledge to know the difference.

Don't take it as an insult, because clearly, it's just a woman trying to give herself what society says she deserves, and part of that society is her family and friends. So at the same time she has her family and friends telling her she should want those things, so she will definitely be torn on that one.
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acrasial

14 years ago

Women SEEK PROTECTION AND SECURITY

There is not one human being who does not seek this in one form or another, and women definitely seek this. Women who are looking for a man who has a job, or who are looking for a man who has money etc... are simply looking for some security and protection.

They are looking for something to fall back onto, something which is there for them. That is a natural desire, and there is nothing wrong with it.

However, some women may also be looking for this because they are simply too lazy to give themselves what they want, because they live an immensely fear based lifestyle.

She is afraid of failure, afraid that she won't succeed, etc...if she tries. She might also be turned off by the idea of having to work, or having to do certain things, and simply wants a way out of all of this: IE...getting married, settling down, and having kids.

NOW< of course not all women use their marriage or family as an excuse, because a lot of women are successful and established before their marriage and family anyways. It's just another goal on top of their many goals they are achieving, but honestly, these types of women likely don't make lists, as they know what they want to begin with.

THEN there are the women who test a man by creating a list.

Now these women are obviously the top of their game, and will test men.

What is she testing? Well a job? She wants to see if you are capable of taking care of yourself, handling pressure, getting things done etc... She is trying to see if you are ABOVE average.

The looks department? She wants to see if you value yourself, if you have confidence or self esteem. She may specify that generally, and might even find you handsome, but you don't think you are that good looking...then what?

Well then you just turned her off...and now she knows you are highly insecure. Which is obviously not something you can easily know from a simple list she created.

These kinds of women know what they want, to the extent that they use immediate tools to get results from men to weed through the ones who will just cause too much drama for them.

And why is she doing that? Well once again, she wants security, and wants to protect herself from the hassle of something which will harm her in the long run. So she tests things out, gets a bit smart, and goes for what she truly wants, even if it appears to simply be shallow on her end, or simply be something which is meaningless like a list.

So remember that as well.

She might also be testing

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To Women -> Are we just a "Check List"?

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