Why You Can't Get Past Limiting Beliefs

Hi Ryan
interesting topic. I find it very difficult to get rid of my limiting believes and accept new ones.
The problem is - my limiting believes have solid concrete basis of many years of stupid mistakes and living much lower of my potential. Many years. I'm 45, lost a lot financially because of bad decisions over last few years, working for a man last 13 years doing boring IT job.
I'm working home part time on my IM for a year and a half by now. I have huge hopes for it but from time to time I start thinking - who am I? why do I think I'm capable to get out of this mediocre life if I wasn't able to do it until now and even ruined what I already had?
You see these limiting believes have deep roots and 'unroot' them might take 'many many years of therapy'
Sergei

Sergei, as soon as you decide to believe you can do something, you instantly lose your limiting beliefs; it is impossible to believe two opposing points. It shouldn't take years of therapy - it could happen tonight.

Now, as for going about altering your beliefs. Sounds like you need to work on your self image - you're pretty down on yourself. One of the differences between successful people, and those still looking for success, is that successful people don't mentally carry round their past failures. They acknowledge them, and put them down to experience, then move forward to their goals again.

There isn't a person alive who doesn't make mistakes - learn something from them - and move on.

Hi Sergei,

I too have many stubborn limiting beliefs. You can release them with greater ease when in uncomfortable situations. OK....maybe it's not easy to deal with tough circumstances but blessing in the situation is that it reveals your limiting beliefs to you.

A painful but necessary process if you are to shed these false ideals. Thanks for sharing your story.

RB

You're not going to change your belief system overnight. Spend the next 30 days "re-programming" your brain with positive, compelling affirmations 2 x a day.

Remember, one of the the main differences between those who succeed and those who don't is that the successful put their mistakes behind them and continue forward. Realizing that every failure carries with it a an opportunity for growth.

Actually Vincenzo I've fully released on a few limiting beliefs rapidly after encountering life-altering situations. Generally-speaking it does take some time to release these constricting thoughts.

RB

Great thread, I'll watch how it develops with interest. Thanks for starting it, Ryan.

Sergit,

All too often people talk about beliefs as if they are things like an item we could get our hands around and squash or throw away. But beliefs are NOT things in the material sense. They are entirely mental constructs.

It is true that beliefs are like an on/off switch for everything you do. They can empower you or hold you back.

Beliefs usually take root in childhood often as a result of our unconscious modelling of a parent, guardian or other significant people in our lives. Once a belief takes hold, our perceptions are filtered by the belief. That is, we tend to pay attention to the experiences that strengthen the belief and distort or even delete experiences that run counter to the belief.

As a result, our sense of certainty in the belief grows and grows until we no longer question it. We just act as if it is real.

You have an unlimited amount of potential, Sergit. We all do. But how much of that potential you are able to tap into is dependent largely upon the beliefs that you hold on to in any given context.

The three main types of belief that affect our behavior are our beliefs about what causes things to happen, what things mean, and our beliefs about our identity - who we are.

It is the beliefs you have about your identity that are the most powerful in regards to what you can be, do and have in this world.

Your comments suggest that the beliefs you have in this area are severely limiting you.

What is interesting is that you consciously realize that your beliefs are holding you back. Many people operate on limiting beliefs without being aware of them. This means that you are in a great position to begin the process of changing what you believe as soon as you want to start.

Several well people have offered their input and good ideas on how you can change your perceptions. I'll offer you a method that you can apply immediately to change your beliefs and start building a set of beliefs that support and empower you.

Start by realizing that you are for more than your behaviors. There is so much more to you than what you have done. So much more!

Next, accept that the best thing about the past is that it is over. It has happened. You don't have to torture yourself by bringing painful experiences of the past into the now. Does this make sense?

If you must "hang out" in the past, decide to do so in a way that empowers you. Revisit those experiences that used to limit you and view the scene to determine what the lesson was in each of those experiences. If you search for it, you will find it. Oftentimes the reason we repeat unresourceful behaviors is because we didn't grasp the lesson inherent in the uncomfortable or painful experience. So if you are going to go back in the past, do so with the sole purpose of finding the real lesson. The one lesson, that if you live your life from this point forward having learned the lesson that everything will be different for you.

There are a number of ways to change beliefs. I'm going to share a simple, proven system that generates amazing results incredibly quickly.

Now, schedule 20 minutes with yourself and keep the appointment! Write down all of the things that stand between you and the life you dream of. If you want to work within a specific context such as "career," by all means do so. Grab a pen and paper and just start writing. Get it all out on the paper.

Now, identify the top three beliefs that stand between you and what you want for yourself. You will probably find that as you review your limiting beliefs they are inter-related. That's fine. Just pick the top three beliefs that stand in your way.

Now, think of what you want to believe instead. What beliefs would actually propel you toward the life you want? It maybe that the beliefs you want are the opposites of the old beliefs that used to limit you. That's perfectly normal. What is important is that you identify what these beliefs are before you take the next step.

Go back to the top three limiting beliefs and starting at number 1, begin to question it. Ask:
How long ago did I learn this belief?
From whom did I learn it?
Were they an expert in this area?
How is it not true for me now?
Was it ever really true for me?
What other references did I used to have for this belief that are also not true?
As I think about that old belief I used to have, what can I learn most from this belief before it disappears?

What you are doing here is reversing the process in which the belief was built. As you ask each question and discover the answer you will find that the old belief becomes more shaky, even blurry and as you continue the process of questioning the belief it will just disappear and release you from it's grip. You'll probably feel this when it happens.

When you have successfully completed this exercise for the first belief, move on to belief two and three if they are still there. Often the process of dealing with the first belief will cause the others to change or disappear entirely or just dramatically loosen their grip so the are less and less real.

You will feel very, very different about things and yourself at this point, Sergit.

Now, back to the beliefs that will empower you and propel you forward. Take the number 1 empowering belief and imagine what it would be like if you believed this with absolute certainty. See yourself operating from this belief. How are things different now?

What's different about the way you look? How do you stand differently? How do you move differently? What are you saying to yourself now you have absolute certainty in this belief? What are others saying about the new you? Feel the feelings of making this belief resonate with every cell in your body. Enjoy the feelings of having this new belief.

Now, I want you to do something that is consistent with the new belief. It doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be a small thing, but you must now act in accordance with your new belief. What you do is up to you but now do something that is absolutely consistent with the new belief you have adopted and immediately experience how good that feels in the here and now. This will lock in the belief and start you on your new path.

Feel free to do this with as many beliefs as you would like.

Know that if you experience resistance at any time in this process, it is merely because a limiting belief is presenting itself to you. Recognize it for what it is and either decide to dismiss it, laugh at it, or write it down and run the process on that belief too.

This process works. It has worked for many of my clients and it will work for you Sergit. But first you have to work the process. Let me know how this works for you and if you have any questions, PM me or connect on Skype.

Andy.

How to get over them, it's all in the word.

It talks about the "limit" till where you think, it is like a imaginary border, but the only way to get past that is to either sneak by it or run over it. Once you force yourself to get past one limiting beliefs those others you also have do not seem that big anymore.

You just need to force yourself to shatter those and get past them, by taking action. Then, you need to adjust to it, recognize that you have gotten past it and really think about it, was it really that hard or bad after all?

Positive thoughts + action.

I simply bet. If I have 10% of chances to succeed and 90% to fail, I bet and fight for the 10%. I think that it's important not to be afraid of trying and failing. Failing is important for us to learn, so I don't care if I'll need to fail 10 times to succeed once. This is how it works.


William

Ahh, Sergit... Well, I'm a woman - so I let myself have a good cry first! Ha! But yes, I know exactly what you are saying when you say one cannot act in a state of fear. You have to find a way to let yourself step back from the analyzing and the fear...and that way is different for everyone AND takes a little experimenting to find. For me, the affirmations don't really work either. But short, 15 minute meditations do. And not the 'affirming' kind, either. My favorite actually is a recording of the sound of the sun overlaid with relaxing 'omm' chanting and sound of waves. My point is...no talking in it. But it allows me to really 'let go' of my racing mind. It took a little practice, but it worked for me.

You will have to try several things until you find your own way to disconnect - if exercise works, keep doing it! But concentrate on letting go and quieting the fear chatter in your head while you are doing it.

This is the third post of Ryan that I came across today and this is a beautiful and positive as the rest. I never actually encountered such negative beliefs. Will keep my eyes open for them and will report how I overpowered it.

I was pretty negative on my Birthday and in the middle of it all I received an amazing ideal and business tool to help me get out of the situation I was in. It's amazing how in the middle of it all something good can happen during those bad, negative days. Sometimes you can use an extra push with a new discovery.

There is only one way to get over limiting beliefs: by confronting them

Limiting beliefs are the result of negative reinforcement and there are countless methods you can use to reverse this downward spiral. Hypnosis and neuro-linguistc programming are just to of them...

Ultimately, your negative self-image is to blame... You've probably attached too much meaning to an event that happened before in your life. The moment you can pin point that event and mentally flip the script and make it meaningless, you'll hold the key to your salvation...

As always, ryan, a great thread. Thanks!
Richard Carlson in "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (and it's all small stuff)" suggests looking at your "most rigidly held" beliefs/opinions and softening them. The value I see in this advice (when coupled with yours) is that many of us are unaware of most "limiting" beliefs, which is one reason they are so limiting.
I'm also reminded that many of my limiting beliefs are instantly set aside when someone does what I thought couldn't be done. The belief instantly loses its legs. (And to answer your question, my feeling is a big Homer Simpson "Doh!") There was once a time when no one had ever run a 4-minute mile, and no one had high-jumped 6'0". Now hundreds (thousands?) of athletes can. These upper barriers were long-held in the world of athletics. Now they are distant, distant memories.