"Why Is It Such A Struggle To Get What We Want?"

13 years ago

Originally Posted by DanteRomero

How To Do It

To build a habit, you must be consistent. And research shows that it takes roughly 21 days to form a habit. So, pick something repetitive you MUST do to get what you want - - then focus on it rigidly for 21 days.

You have other things you must do - - yes, but make that habit you are forming a TOP PRIORITY.

After 21 days, pick a new decision to make into a habit. And start again.

Hey Dante,

I've tested the 21 day theory and I personally know that it works. I heard about it while listening to a podcast by Erik K Carr.

It's all about the mind and eliminating the belief that everything has to be hard.

Everyday for 21 days I was conscious of each time I "said' or "thought" something was hard to do and little by little things began to change and work, my children, even cooking got easier - or so I "believed" they were easier.

Now I can do things easily, without fear.

I appreciate you pointing out this simple but effective way to create change.

Thanks

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SolveProblemsNow

13 years ago

Dante,

Thanks for the great ideas… good habits are one of the keys to success.

Here’s a question for forum members: What if you could form a positive habit in just a few minutes instead of twenty one days?

It’s entirely possible.

Based on studying people with obsessive/compulsive behavior (you know… people who must wash their hands one hundred times a day at specific times and other similar behaviors), it has been discovered how they form these habits and why they are compelled to carry them out.

What if the psychology behind this destructive behavior could be turned to good and used to motivate you for the business and personal goals that you want to achieve?

I personally have used this to one day start going to the gym and have never missed a day since. I don’t even think about it, and it never even occurs to me to miss a day. It happens automatically.

To make this available to my private clients I have created an audio program I call “Unstoppable Motivation” because that’s exactly what it is. It’s 45 minutes of light hypnosis where you install your own motivational sequence. Fast, easy, permanent.

Everything is explained on the CD before the actual program starts.

Normally I sell it to my clients for $$$$, but I’ll give a free download to anyone who PM’s and asks.

Wishing you the best!

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

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Get unstuck, get rid of bad behaviors and habits, discover what is important to you in life and get motivated at www.breakthroughtotomorrow.com

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kirbymarketingconcierge

13 years ago

Originally Posted by SolveProblemsNow

Dante,

Thanks for the great ideas... good habits are one of the keys to success.

Here's a question for forum members: What if you could form a positive habit in just a few minutes instead of twenty one days?

It's entirely possible.

Based on studying people with obsessive/compulsive behavior (you know... people who must wash their hands one hundred times a day at specific times and other similar behaviors), it has been discovered how they form these habits and why they are compelled to carry them out.

What if the psychology behind this destructive behavior could be turned to good and used to motivate you for the business and personal goals that you want to achieve?

I personally have used this to one day start going to the gym and have never missed a day since. I don't even think about it, and it never even occurs to me to miss a day. It happens automatically.

To make this available to my private clients I have created an audio program I call "Unstoppable Motivation" because that's exactly what it is. It's 45 minutes of light hypnosis where you install your own motivational sequence. Fast, easy, permanent.

Everything is explained on the CD before the actual program starts.

Normally I sell it to my clients for $$$$, but I'll give a free download to anyone who PM's and asks.

Wishing you the best!

Not to throw water on you, but in the spirit of open dialogue :

Other research shows it takes 66 days

How long does it take to form a habit?

If you have research data I for 1 would love to see it

Thanks
1 reply

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kirbymarketingconcierge 13 years ago

in the end does it matter? 21 days, 66, whatever.

If you formulated a goal, then commit to it, is time really a priority?

I do believe like Dante said...develop the habit of changing your habits, and you will become more proficient, faster, better.

you will have the Habit of "changing your habits" on a dime.

probably because we begin to rewire our brains deeper than the conscious level and becomes 2nd nature

in my opinion

kirby
- Thanks
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Sandycmy

13 years ago

Hi,

Sent a PM.

Thank you in advance.

Thanks

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Juan L Costa

13 years ago

You are completely right, it's all about forming habits that are coherent with the life we want to live.
I have used to 21 day theory (actually there were 30) to become an early riser.
So what I did was to setup my alarm clock at the same time for 30 days, no exceptions, and make a commitment to get up every day even when I hadn't got enough sleep.
After one month, I was getting up almost automatically, just like you drive a car (perfect example

)

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emmndi

13 years ago

Because nothing comes easily......

Thanks
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SolveProblemsNow 13 years ago

But... what if it did?
- Thanks
- 1 reply
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Get unstuck, get rid of bad behaviors and habits, discover what is important to you in life and get motivated at www.breakthroughtotomorrow.com
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- DanteRomero 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by emmndi
  
  Because nothing comes easily......
  
  Originally Posted by SolveProblemsNow
  
  But... what if it did?
  
  I'd agree with both points. Going for something big -- not convenient is often a challenge. But it can be a lot easier than it would be otherwise.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  "Perfection isn't important. Improvement is."
  
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janicelou

13 years ago

great post...

they say... "The man/woman first makes his/her habits, and then his/her habits make the man/woman.

Thanks

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Lindap07

13 years ago

I think Abraham Hicks says it best when she talks about the difference between swimming upstream and swimming downstream. We are swimming upstream when our beliefs are in alignment with what we are trying to achieve and things come more easily. We are swimming downstream when we are full of limiting beliefs. So while it's true that things aren't always easy to attain, they are a lot easier to attain when you swim upstream..

Check out this link from Youtube:

Abraham on: THE STREAM - Esther & Jerry Hicks -...

Cheers

Thanks
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Linda P

Want to know how to eliminate limiting beliefs and align your mind with your personal goals?
http://subliminalmindprogram.com/

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DanteRomero

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Lindap07

I think Abraham Hicks says it best when she talks about the difference between swimming upstream and swimming downstream. We are swimming upstream when our beliefs are in alignment with what we are trying to achieve and things come more easily. We are swimming downstream when we are full of limiting beliefs. So while it's true that things aren't always easy to attain, they are a lot easier to attain when you swim upstream..

Check out this link from Youtube: Abraham on: THE STREAM - Esther & Jerry Hicks - YouTube
Cheers

Wow! Thanks for sharing that linda. That is a really good analogy for that! I'm definitely going to remember that one. It makes it a lot simpler to explain the idea.

And it's true. If you are full of habits/beliefs/anything that goes against getting where you want to go, it will come slower and harder.

Thanks

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"Perfection isn't important. Improvement is."

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kirbymarketingconcierge

13 years ago

Originally Posted by DanteRomero

It's dead simple. To get what you want - - you have to do the things that get you there. The more often you do, the sooner you'll get what you want.

But, it can feel more difficult in practice. It sounds great on paper - - but in practice... well, we've all been there. But consider this.

The more things you are managing consciously, the more effort you must expend to do it. If you have a lot going on in your life, doing it this way gets stressful fast. But on the other hand.

If you habitually do something, you don't need to think about it - - It just happens. If you habitually take the actions that lead to what you want... you can get there with less effort. ( less stress )

Once something becomes a habit, it stays there ( assuming you don't undo it ). You no longer need to focus on it.

Ever noticed how you can get in the car, start it, and make it to work without remembering any of it?

Making decisions that lead to what you want can become just as
automated. Therefore, I propose the following definition:

Progress: Increasing the percentage of your habits, and therefore actions, that lead to what you want.

How To Do It

To build a habit, you must be consistent. And research shows that it takes roughly 21 days to form a habit. So, pick something repetitive you MUST do to get what you want - - then focus on it rigidly for 21 days.

You have other things you must do - - yes, but make that habit you are forming a TOP PRIORITY.

After 21 days, pick a new decision to make into a habit. And start again.

By changing your habits you can make positive changes to your life
permanently, rather than temporarily.

I wish you the best,
Dante

What do you think? I'd love to hear your opinion. Please leave a reply. :-) And if you enjoyed this post, maybe click that little "Thanks" button. It's great to know if my time writing it was appreciated!

Dante has great points.

I would also point out that 21 day period you focus and drill down on what you can accomplish and reinforce, not on what you failed at, then punish yourself and go back to your old habits. And, If you fail, drill down even more.

If you want to be productive for 4 hours and you fail at that, than drill down to 3, or 2, or 15 minutes..... whatever you can succeed at.

Refer to this : Harnessing the Power of Feedback Loops | Magazine
and you can apply it to your specific, measurable goals.

Thanks

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uebomoyi

13 years ago

Originally Posted by DanteRomero

It's dead simple. To get what you want - - you have to do the things that get you there. The more often you do, the sooner you'll get what you want.

But, it can feel more difficult in practice. It sounds great on paper - - but in practice... well, we've all been there. But consider this.

The more things you are managing consciously, the more effort you must expend to do it. If you have a lot going on in your life, doing it this way gets stressful fast. But on the other hand.

If you habitually do something, you don't need to think about it - - It just happens. If you habitually take the actions that lead to what you want... you can get there with less effort. ( less stress )

Once something becomes a habit, it stays there ( assuming you don't undo it ). You no longer need to focus on it.

Ever noticed how you can get in the car, start it, and make it to work without remembering any of it?

Making decisions that lead to what you want can become just as
automated. Therefore, I propose the following definition:

Progress: Increasing the percentage of your habits, and therefore actions, that lead to what you want.

How To Do It

To build a habit, you must be consistent. And research shows that it takes roughly 21 days to form a habit. So, pick something repetitive you MUST do to get what you want - - then focus on it rigidly for 21 days.

You have other things you must do - - yes, but make that habit you are forming a TOP PRIORITY.

After 21 days, pick a new decision to make into a habit. And start again.

By changing your habits you can make positive changes to your life
permanently, rather than temporarily.

I wish you the best,
Dante

What do you think? I'd love to hear your opinion. Please leave a reply. :-) And if you enjoyed this post, maybe click that little "Thanks" button. It's great to know if my time writing it was appreciated!

I agree with you entirely. I think what people need also is consistent encouragement. Like reading quotes, watching inspirational videos and being around positive people. When you are all by yourself, it is hard to accomplish tasks alone because you don't get to enjoy it with anyone. Right now I'm getting free coaching from an expert marketer and he has walked me through every step for setting up a sales funnel so I'm very grateful for him and he makes it a lot easier for me to complete those hard tasks. At times, I also think it takes a little longer then 21 days to develop a real habit that sticks with you. Realistically, I would say it takes around 60-90 days to develop a real concrete habit that sticks with you.

Thanks
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Richard Dominguez

13 years ago

I agree habits will make your life so much easier. If you develop the right kind of habits that will keep you moving towards your goal, doing difficult tasks will become easier and easier the more you do them and eventually become second nature.

Originally Posted by uebomoyi

I agree with you entirely. I think what people need also is consistent encouragement. Like reading quotes, watching inspirational videos and being around positive people. When you are all by yourself, it is hard to accomplish tasks alone because you don't get to enjoy it with anyone. Right now I'm getting free coaching from an expert marketer and he has walked me through every step for setting up a sales funnel so I'm very grateful for him and he makes it a lot easier for me to complete those hard tasks. At times, I also think it takes a little longer then 21 days to develop a real habit that sticks with you. Realistically, I would say it takes around 60-90 days to develop a real concrete habit that sticks with you.

I also agree people need to feed their minds with success often, this will keep them motivated and progressing. And being around positive people is a great way to keep you on track.

Thanks

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Mr Bill

13 years ago

I think it might be because there is too much emphasis on goals (big ones that can't be achieved today to keep us satisfied) and moving in a direction (something that can be achieved today and that will satisfy us).

An example might be someone learning how to play guitar. A guitar player is happy when they play. They practice to improve but unless there's a gig and a song that needs to be learned they are happy to just play and improve. There is no end to it and they are happy. No goals, just a direction (to improve and enjoy the sounds).

Maybe (just maybe) the big success goals we set for ourselves set us up for daily disappointment and maybe (just maybe) we can alleviate the stress and struggle by simply being happy that we are heading in the right direction because we can certainly do that every day but we can not achieve a goal every day. Direction can be just as "driving" as a goal.

If you love your goals maybe they can be turned into milestones? There's a lot of joy in daily satisfaction (or excitement as Tim Ferris suggests on page 51). IM can be pretty exciting and instantly gratifying (e.g. refresh the page after a plug-in, fixing code and refresh...etc fun, fun, fun), we should be much happier as the financial explorers we are. Might be worth considering if we're in danger of missing the joy of the journey.

Oops, I went a bit over to 2.4c worth.

Thanks

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RS3RS

13 years ago

I think we make things harder than they have to be just by fighting the notion of doing what needs to be done to obtain our goals.

If you look at "I want to achieve this, this is the work required for me to achieve it, I'm getting started on that work right now", without complicating it, things are actually pretty easy. Hard work is not "hard", it's just hard to talk ourselves into doing it if we don't want to.

Regarding the 21 day thing, Steve Pavlina has recommended something similar that I've used a lot in the past, although he calls it a 30 day "trial". Just commit to stick to something for 30 days, and after that, you can completely forget about it if you want to. Before you know it, the 30 days aren't even up and it's such a part of your routine you don't want to give it up. A little mind-trickery that works I suppose

Thanks

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"Why Is It Such A Struggle To Get What We Want?"

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