When close friends hurt you

Profile picture of the author slingingshot15 by slingingshot15 Posted: 10/29/2011
Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

Maybe they said something about you.

How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
#close #friends #hurt

  • Profile picture of the author TopKat22
    TopKat22
    Only when I was very young. Now I cannot be hurt or offended by anyone because although I cannot control what others do, I can and do control what meaning I give to what they do and how I feel about what they do.

    As for people and even friends, dear friends, doing very unfriendly things to me, yes, that has happened. I was amazed and bewildered for a bit but not hurt.

    I believe we all only affect ourselves by our own thoughts and mostly feelings.

    And that we get what we put out. So, these people only hurt themselves by doing unto others as they would not want done to them.

    I, on the other hand, will only be harmed if I decide to harm myself by lowering my vibration to feel hurt or some other unwanted emotion.

    But that was 10 years ago. I haven't had any such thing happen the more I work on myself and improving my own vibration.
  • Profile picture of the author slingingshot15
    slingingshot15
    Great advice man....thanks for sharing....
  • Profile picture of the author Illuminart
    Illuminart
    They can't be friends if they hurt you so much. Maybe one, maybe twice but not for the nth time. They are obviously FAKES and only trying to get a fool out of you if they continue to hurt you just like that.
  • Profile picture of the author CanadaSEO
    CanadaSEO
    There's a fine line between a CLOSE FRIEND and a TRUE FRIEND.
  • Profile picture of the author Dan Freeman
    Dan Freeman
    Do not mind if I ask, who this this specific person who caused you grief?
  • Profile picture of the author slingingshot15
    slingingshot15
    Originally Posted by CameronNY View Post
    Do not mind if I ask, who this this specific person who caused you grief?
    to be honest no one has caused me grief but a friend of mine was sharing with me how some people close to her had sort of turned against her and it was hard to deal with....
  • Profile picture of the author 3000
    3000
    I have this boss who I still work with till this day and I was basically back stabbed by him.

    When I first came onto his team he was all buddy buddy with me telling jokes and what not. He would say stuff about the boss above him and I will jokingly say stuff about the big boss as well.

    Well to cut it short he was telling everything I said to the big and now the big boss and I aren't as close as we should be.

    Now I pick who I open up more closely then before. As for him I just use him as motivation to keep working on my IM business so that one day I can quit that job

    Originally Posted by slingingshot15 View Post
    Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

    Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

    Maybe they said something about you.

    How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
  • Profile picture of the author Micah Medina
    Micah Medina
    In life, I've found the the more you try to shield yourself off from painful situations and interactions, the worse things get. I've been hurt by a handful of people I thought were close to me -- usually more out of thoughtlessness than meanness. In situations like that you have to keep your chin up and keep the lines of communication open.

    Walking with your chin held high requires much more courage than curling into an emotional ball. And it's more rewarding.
  • Profile picture of the author barbling
    barbling
    Originally Posted by paulmthw2 View Post
    I believe no one can hurt us if don't allow them to.So we should be open to all responses and situations without the fear of getting hurt.It's hard and I'm still implementing it.
    Tc
    Been there/done that/crashed and burned and then arose like a Phoenix.

    Everything happens for a reason....and every pain and scar and knife-wound across your soul eventually heals and delivers to you strength you never would have discovered if you hadn't had gone thru the pain.

    I recently had my teeth kicked in bigtime by the one person I never ever ever in a million years thought would hurt me.

    It devastated me.

    Crushed me.

    Really really really ...well, actually, words don't exist that describe quite how much it killed me.

    I had two choices - give into the destruction (which would have been really stupid, because the person showed there was zero caring), or take that energy and rebuild/reinvent myself.

    I chose the second (and made money from it too!). Blogged about it at

    How To Brilliantly Turn Failure Into Money for 2012 – Pillar | Barbara Ling, Your Maverick Virtual Coach

    Everything is a hero's journey...what do you choose to do with it is how your life becomes defined.

    Hope that helps!
  • Profile picture of the author Rohm
    Rohm
    Originally Posted by slingingshot15 View Post
    Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

    Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

    Maybe they said something about you.

    How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
    Be assertive, not aggressive.

    Assertiveness focus on the person's specifc behavior/action, not on the person character.

    Example: Assertive: When you say: "Don't be a retard," you are verbally cynical, and these comments demean me and my ideas. A better way is to ask: Is there a better way to do this? Please change how you respond to my comments.

    Assertiveness maintains the dignity of both people.

    Aggressive: You're a obnoxious jerk (attacking character, demeaning also the other person in the same way the other person was demeaned).

    Also, be ready to forgive is the person is willing to change.
  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    laurencewins
    Small "hurts" should be ignored where possible.
    I had a major problem with an ex-friend when I moved into his house when he moved interstate. He eventually took me to court but I won. That was a major case of friendship being pushed past the normal boundaries.
    Sometimes friends hurt accidentally and you should address it so that it can be corrected.
  • Profile picture of the author apolwar
    apolwar
    I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

    You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.
  • Profile picture of the author Shilpa
    Shilpa
    Originally Posted by apolwar View Post
    I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

    You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.
    Yes U are right. But when someone close cheats you it hurts to core of the heart.
  • Profile picture of the author Nereah
    Nereah
    Forgive, learn from it and move on. Human beings will always let you down and majority will always want to gain at your expense. Simply learn to discern such traits in people early enough but should it happen., like I said earlier forgive, learn and move on!
  • Profile picture of the author Arthur Barn
    Arthur Barn
    Yes, i already experienced it. I just forgive and forget about it. You see, we are not perfect. Everyone sometimes did mistake. It is just on how to deal with it.
  • Profile picture of the author paul_1
    paul_1
    You need to assess your circle of friends. You need to ask if are they able to bring out the best in you or they just bring you to the brink? If they hurt you that much, that is probably because that's how they are. You need to decide if it is better for you to get rid of them or stay with them. The people that you surround yourself makes up the total of you. In any case, the most important thing is yourself, stay positive all throughout.
  • Profile picture of the author theory expert
    theory expert
    When life owes you nothing, and, you learn to deal with that reality, you'll out manuevuer, outclass, and, outlast many who think backwards.

    What does this have to do with you?


    Think about it.

    Take responsibility for having someone in your life who you empowered to hurt you. Never let someone take your power!!!!!!!

    Can someone translate this so that the OP gets it?
  • Profile picture of the author webworm
    webworm
    Yes but the feeling you got at this situation is the worst time of all life.
  • Profile picture of the author davidlibra
    davidlibra
    Its really an un undefinable story for anyone how it feels when someone hurts you. But it becomes more miserable when your friend do something like this. What I have learnt in this world that don't ever do blind faith on anyone. Nature has its law the "Change is the law of nature" and that implies on everyone. Any one can change anytime.
  • Profile picture of the author MaryKathan
    MaryKathan
    Whether or not you stay friends .... the main thing I would make sure to do is forgiveness and release it - and that is for your own peace.

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