When close friends hurt you

by 21 comments
Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

Maybe they said something about you.

How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
#personal development #close #friends #hurt
  • Profile picture of the author TopKat22
    Only when I was very young. Now I cannot be hurt or offended by anyone because although I cannot control what others do, I can and do control what meaning I give to what they do and how I feel about what they do.

    As for people and even friends, dear friends, doing very unfriendly things to me, yes, that has happened. I was amazed and bewildered for a bit but not hurt.

    I believe we all only affect ourselves by our own thoughts and mostly feelings.

    And that we get what we put out. So, these people only hurt themselves by doing unto others as they would not want done to them.

    I, on the other hand, will only be harmed if I decide to harm myself by lowering my vibration to feel hurt or some other unwanted emotion.

    But that was 10 years ago. I haven't had any such thing happen the more I work on myself and improving my own vibration.
  • Profile picture of the author slingingshot15
    Great advice man....thanks for sharing....
  • Profile picture of the author Illuminart
    They can't be friends if they hurt you so much. Maybe one, maybe twice but not for the nth time. They are obviously FAKES and only trying to get a fool out of you if they continue to hurt you just like that.
  • Profile picture of the author CanadaSEO
    There's a fine line between a CLOSE FRIEND and a TRUE FRIEND.
  • Profile picture of the author 3000
    I have this boss who I still work with till this day and I was basically back stabbed by him.

    When I first came onto his team he was all buddy buddy with me telling jokes and what not. He would say stuff about the boss above him and I will jokingly say stuff about the big boss as well.

    Well to cut it short he was telling everything I said to the big and now the big boss and I aren't as close as we should be.

    Now I pick who I open up more closely then before. As for him I just use him as motivation to keep working on my IM business so that one day I can quit that job

    Originally Posted by slingingshot15 View Post

    Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

    Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

    Maybe they said something about you.

    How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
    • Profile picture of the author Micah Medina
      In life, I've found the the more you try to shield yourself off from painful situations and interactions, the worse things get. I've been hurt by a handful of people I thought were close to me -- usually more out of thoughtlessness than meanness. In situations like that you have to keep your chin up and keep the lines of communication open.

      Walking with your chin held high requires much more courage than curling into an emotional ball. And it's more rewarding.
  • Profile picture of the author Rohm
    Originally Posted by slingingshot15 View Post

    Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

    Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

    Maybe they said something about you.

    How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
    Be assertive, not aggressive.

    Assertiveness focus on the person's specifc behavior/action, not on the person character.

    Example: Assertive: When you say: "Don't be a retard," you are verbally cynical, and these comments demean me and my ideas. A better way is to ask: Is there a better way to do this? Please change how you respond to my comments.

    Assertiveness maintains the dignity of both people.

    Aggressive: You're a obnoxious jerk (attacking character, demeaning also the other person in the same way the other person was demeaned).

    Also, be ready to forgive is the person is willing to change.
  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    Small "hurts" should be ignored where possible.
    I had a major problem with an ex-friend when I moved into his house when he moved interstate. He eventually took me to court but I won. That was a major case of friendship being pushed past the normal boundaries.
    Sometimes friends hurt accidentally and you should address it so that it can be corrected.
  • Profile picture of the author apolwar
    I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

    You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.
    • Profile picture of the author Shilpa
      Originally Posted by apolwar View Post

      I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

      You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.
      Yes U are right. But when someone close cheats you it hurts to core of the heart.
  • Profile picture of the author Nereah
    Forgive, learn from it and move on. Human beings will always let you down and majority will always want to gain at your expense. Simply learn to discern such traits in people early enough but should it happen., like I said earlier forgive, learn and move on!
  • Profile picture of the author Arthur Barn
    Yes, i already experienced it. I just forgive and forget about it. You see, we are not perfect. Everyone sometimes did mistake. It is just on how to deal with it.
  • Profile picture of the author paul_1
    You need to assess your circle of friends. You need to ask if are they able to bring out the best in you or they just bring you to the brink? If they hurt you that much, that is probably because that's how they are. You need to decide if it is better for you to get rid of them or stay with them. The people that you surround yourself makes up the total of you. In any case, the most important thing is yourself, stay positive all throughout.
  • Profile picture of the author theory expert
    When life owes you nothing, and, you learn to deal with that reality, you'll out manuevuer, outclass, and, outlast many who think backwards.

    What does this have to do with you?


    Think about it.

    Take responsibility for having someone in your life who you empowered to hurt you. Never let someone take your power!!!!!!!

    Can someone translate this so that the OP gets it?
  • Profile picture of the author webworm
    Yes but the feeling you got at this situation is the worst time of all life.
  • Profile picture of the author davidlibra
    Its really an un undefinable story for anyone how it feels when someone hurts you. But it becomes more miserable when your friend do something like this. What I have learnt in this world that don't ever do blind faith on anyone. Nature has its law the "Change is the law of nature" and that implies on everyone. Any one can change anytime.
  • Profile picture of the author MaryKathan
    Whether or not you stay friends .... the main thing I would make sure to do is forgiveness and release it - and that is for your own peace.
  • Profile picture of the author Jeff Burritt
    Yes. A surprise wound, especially from a friend, is very hurtful.

    A small cut may need just a self-administered BandAid, but a large deep cut needs trained emergency medical services.

    Just like a physical wound that requires medical attention, an emotional wound requires the right attention to help it heal.

    Go see a counselor or therapist who specializes in family/marriage/relationships. There's no sense pretending the wound isn't there, or that it will just go away with time.

    I am speaking from personal experience. Seek out professional help. It's worth it. The quality of your life may depend upon it.

    Blessings,

    Jeff

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