When close friends hurt you

by slingingshot15 21 replies
Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

Maybe they said something about you.

How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
#mind warriors #close #friends #hurt
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  • Profile picture of the author TopKat22
    Only when I was very young. Now I cannot be hurt or offended by anyone because although I cannot control what others do, I can and do control what meaning I give to what they do and how I feel about what they do.

    As for people and even friends, dear friends, doing very unfriendly things to me, yes, that has happened. I was amazed and bewildered for a bit but not hurt.

    I believe we all only affect ourselves by our own thoughts and mostly feelings.

    And that we get what we put out. So, these people only hurt themselves by doing unto others as they would not want done to them.

    I, on the other hand, will only be harmed if I decide to harm myself by lowering my vibration to feel hurt or some other unwanted emotion.

    But that was 10 years ago. I haven't had any such thing happen the more I work on myself and improving my own vibration.
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  • Profile picture of the author slingingshot15
    Great advice man....thanks for sharing....
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  • Profile picture of the author Illuminart
    They can't be friends if they hurt you so much. Maybe one, maybe twice but not for the nth time. They are obviously FAKES and only trying to get a fool out of you if they continue to hurt you just like that.
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  • Profile picture of the author CanadaSEO
    There's a fine line between a CLOSE FRIEND and a TRUE FRIEND.
  • Profile picture of the author 3000
    I have this boss who I still work with till this day and I was basically back stabbed by him.

    When I first came onto his team he was all buddy buddy with me telling jokes and what not. He would say stuff about the boss above him and I will jokingly say stuff about the big boss as well.

    Well to cut it short he was telling everything I said to the big and now the big boss and I aren't as close as we should be.

    Now I pick who I open up more closely then before. As for him I just use him as motivation to keep working on my IM business so that one day I can quit that job

    Originally Posted by slingingshot15 View Post

    Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

    Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

    Maybe they said something about you.

    How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
    • Profile picture of the author Micah Medina
      In life, I've found the the more you try to shield yourself off from painful situations and interactions, the worse things get. I've been hurt by a handful of people I thought were close to me -- usually more out of thoughtlessness than meanness. In situations like that you have to keep your chin up and keep the lines of communication open.

      Walking with your chin held high requires much more courage than curling into an emotional ball. And it's more rewarding.
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  • Profile picture of the author paulmthw2
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    • Profile picture of the author barbling
      Originally Posted by paulmthw2 View Post

      I believe no one can hurt us if don't allow them to.So we should be open to all responses and situations without the fear of getting hurt.It's hard and I'm still implementing it.
      Tc
      Been there/done that/crashed and burned and then arose like a Phoenix.

      Everything happens for a reason....and every pain and scar and knife-wound across your soul eventually heals and delivers to you strength you never would have discovered if you hadn't had gone thru the pain.

      I recently had my teeth kicked in bigtime by the one person I never ever ever in a million years thought would hurt me.

      It devastated me.

      Crushed me.

      Really really really ...well, actually, words don't exist that describe quite how much it killed me.

      I had two choices - give into the destruction (which would have been really stupid, because the person showed there was zero caring), or take that energy and rebuild/reinvent myself.

      I chose the second (and made money from it too!). Blogged about it at

      How To Brilliantly Turn Failure Into Money for 2012 – Pillar | Barbara Ling, Your Maverick Virtual Coach

      Everything is a hero's journey...what do you choose to do with it is how your life becomes defined.

      Hope that helps!
  • Profile picture of the author Rohm
    Originally Posted by slingingshot15 View Post

    Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

    Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

    Maybe they said something about you.

    How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!
    Be assertive, not aggressive.

    Assertiveness focus on the person's specifc behavior/action, not on the person character.

    Example: Assertive: When you say: "Don't be a retard," you are verbally cynical, and these comments demean me and my ideas. A better way is to ask: Is there a better way to do this? Please change how you respond to my comments.

    Assertiveness maintains the dignity of both people.

    Aggressive: You're a obnoxious jerk (attacking character, demeaning also the other person in the same way the other person was demeaned).

    Also, be ready to forgive is the person is willing to change.
  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    Small "hurts" should be ignored where possible.
    I had a major problem with an ex-friend when I moved into his house when he moved interstate. He eventually took me to court but I won. That was a major case of friendship being pushed past the normal boundaries.
    Sometimes friends hurt accidentally and you should address it so that it can be corrected.
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  • Profile picture of the author apolwar
    I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

    You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.
    • Profile picture of the author Shilpa
      Originally Posted by apolwar View Post

      I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

      You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.
      Yes U are right. But when someone close cheats you it hurts to core of the heart.
  • Profile picture of the author Nereah
    Forgive, learn from it and move on. Human beings will always let you down and majority will always want to gain at your expense. Simply learn to discern such traits in people early enough but should it happen., like I said earlier forgive, learn and move on!
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