dealing with negative influences

by The Copy Warriors

Posted: 12 years ago 5 replies

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

I was just wondering, what do other warriors think about dealing with friends, family members and acquaintances who influence you negatively with their own negative (verbalized) thought patterns?

Personally, I feel like the answer is pretty straightforward when it comes to people you only vaguely know: if someone in your extended social circle persistently complains, nags and brings negativity into their lives, then don't get close to that individual.

But the problem is harder when it comes to family and friends. With close friends, you sometimes have individuals you're just too socially (perhaps even financially) involved with on too many levels to just cut them out. With family members, not only is it not practical to just cut people out of your life, it's often immoral.

Of course, when close friends and family members have legitimate issues, you have to help them out. But what about those whose problems are primarily self-inflicted through negativity and other bad attitudes? How long can you keep trying in vain to help those who refuse to accept help, or acknowledge the real issues?

#dealing #influences #negative

Jarrod 12 years ago

To the first three paragraphs I kept thinking "be the change you want to see in the world", "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", and other such thoughts. It is hard when surrounded by negativity of those you can't not be close to. When they say something discouraging, step back for a moment and view your life like a book. The main character (you) will prevail in the end, though you know not how, and you are intrigued to see how he/she will respond. Ask "if I were writing this book, and I wanted to make a hero out of this character that rises above his problems rather than being beat down by them, how would I make him/her respond". Then you have your answer on how you should respond.

Just don't try to force your positiveness on those who are negative. Let them be, and be positive yourself without forcing it on them or getting frustrated with them for not being positive, as that will only make things worse.

Your last paragraph really hits home with me. The Bible teaches that we should care for those in need, but it also teaches "if a man will not work, neither shall he eat." So if someone is in a bad spot that they inflicted upon themselves (be it financial or otherwise) and they are unwilling to make changes, then you can do nothing for them. To think you can will only frustrate yourself, and possibly enable them (as has been the case with the situation close to home for me) thus doing them far more harm than good. Do not keep trying in vain to help those who refuse to accept it or acknowledge the real issues. Yet once they realize it and want to change, then like the father in the story of the prodigal son, be there with open loving arms to help.
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- paulrant 12 years ago
  
  Wow first post and I might get run off.
  
  Hi all and I have been told I am negative. It seems nuts but I agree with almost everything written here.
  
  Except the part of backing away from someone considered to be negative as long as they are not family. I guess one could ask why would family be only worth saving? If someone is an acquaintance there is some reason you are socially involved be it work related or other. Not sure i understand why this person in your life is not worth your help.
  I do not want to draw blood but so often people only assume they know why a person acts as they do. Most of the time others do not have a clue although they may think they do.
  If someone is negative there may be a very good reason they are and may need your help (a positive view) to start them on their salvation path. I can tell you it takes loads of time to affect change on anyone and if the reasons why this person is negative are still in that persons life it would take much longer. As with any social or personal problem it takes much work and patience to make positive change and maybe for whatever reason you are just what this person needs to help turn their attitude around.
  
  Everyone feels their troubles are more important than that of the next person and that in itself is a barrier to get past.
  
  I feel if your willing to go that extra step with family then maybe you could try doing the same with that person. Just think how good you will feel if you do make a positive difference in their life.
  
  When you have made the difference in their life you can help me if you have any sanity left. Only kidding but I am speaking from experience here from both sides. I have helped others who struggled and I also struggle with many bad choices I made and as many that I had no control over. Actually it is a non-fictional accounting of my ups and downs that I am working into a book. It does have religious undertones and I feel will be a real good read and also entertaining and maybe help another by letting them know they are not alone.
  
  I know misery loves company.
  
  Don't be hasty when deciding a course of action or inaction. You sound like a good person to just mention the possibility of helping. The world needs many more like you.
  
  Thanks
  
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SEOLIX 12 years ago

If it's family and close friends, I'd help them out no matter what, at the same time thinking how good "I" am when it comes to thinking and empowering myself; meaning not changing who I am. For others, yes too, but would think carefully - coz sometimes it can get contagious. Nevertheless, helping out someone in need is good karma. They are stuck negative coz the are unconscious or unaware.
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Jason X 12 years ago

Ok, this is something that every entrepreneur will experience with family, friends and everyone that is close to them really. The key here is that people do not understand. We entrepreneur's are a different breed. We have hopes and dreams and we seek for an easier lifestyle. we dont want to trade time for money.

Most people do not understand the way we think, and that is OK. Therefore most people have negative things to say becuase they do not understand.

My advise is that you have to see this for what it is, and if understand your family and friends do not think like you, they dont understand, so they talk negative.

Stay in your zone and complete the goals that you set out for. Dont get pushed back from people that dont understand, instead reach out to like minded people for inspiration, that do think like you!
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MaryKathan 12 years ago

I know there is a book called "Boundaries" that is supposed to talk about these type of issues. I have not read it yet, but I have heard a lot of good things about it.

Mary
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