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Unread 10th December 2011, 09:00 PM   #1
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Default Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

I have been in the IM industry for more than 3 years.

Most people in my wife's family and in my family knew about
my "dreams" of "making money for sitting at home".

They never really payed much attention to it for the
biggest part of my IM career, that is until just a bit
over a year ago.

I finally got things going in the right direction as far as
CPA marketing and Offline marketing and I started
seeing great success.

Success that enabled me to make more money then
almost every friend and family member me an my wife
have. For a while it was okay, I guess because our
families didn't really notice any changes as we
were still working at a job and not really buying
anything to show for as we were saving.

Well, every thing is not so peachy now. We have
both been completely working from home for like
6 months. She was the last to quit her job 6 months.
When she quit, is when hell started.

Her family just gave off this obvious jealousy after
she quit her job because we didnt need it any more.
So now, both my family and her family seem more and more
distant. Whenever we are around her family, they are always
staring at her up and down, barely hold conversations,
never talk to me, etc.

The only time her family ever really calls is to ask to
borrow money. Same with my family.



Is this something you guys had to go through?

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Unread 10th December 2011, 09:29 PM   #2
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

You can get your family together by buying them nice Christmas presents this year

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Unread 11th December 2011, 09:15 AM   #3
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Yeah I agree with the presents thing. Giving gifts can help dissolve feelings of emnity.

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Unread 11th December 2011, 07:53 PM   #4
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

I think they are Jealous and Envious

Christmas is the best time to fix this problem.
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Unread 11th December 2011, 10:56 PM   #5
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

My suggestion is to ASK them directly what the h*** is going on with them. I know it might sound rude, but I like the direct approach. Presents won't solve the problem permanently if there is still cloud between you and your family. Tell them about your business and how it works. Even they might not understand, they still know that you're taking it SERIOUSLY. And you're a grownup!

Hope it help

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Unread 12th December 2011, 05:43 AM   #6
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Go read Atlas Shrugged and find out why people who need to borrow $$ are resentful of those who have it...especially if they are older than the lender.

Tough spot you're in...they probably don't understand IM, think you're making $$ for doing nothing, putting in no effort etc. I find it distasteful that the people who need to borrow the $$ are so resentful of those who have it, though...you'd think they would be appreciative.

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Unread 12th December 2011, 10:35 AM   #7
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

I have to disagree with the PPs that giving your family and friends gifts will be a viable solution. They might speak with you more, but not for the right reasons!

If they aren't aware, maybe you can share with them that making money online isn't easy and is actually quite a lot of work. Working for yourself is more difficult than working for someone else - you take the risks (and also gain the rewards), and probably work outside usual business hours.

Hopefully, once they realize that you are working hard and haven't just lucked into success, they will get over their jealousy. If not, then perhaps they weren't really great friends to begin with.
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Unread 12th December 2011, 10:39 AM   #8
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

That is disturbing.

Why would they be jealous? I'm always happy for the success of my family members and loved ones.

Instead of giving them a gift - why not teach them how to work from home as well? =) Might soothe out the jealousy.

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Unread 12th December 2011, 01:51 PM   #9
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Buy someone's love is never a good thing because it is not sincere. Being direct is sometimes a good thing but not always because if you have a personality that thinks they are right, they will never concede that they were wrong and then they won't talk to you at all. You really need to look at your family member's personalities and approach them according to their personalities. This way, you can come from their point of view and bring them around to your point of view. Hope this helps.

Great book on personality is Positive Personality Profiles by Robert Rohm.
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Unread 12th December 2011, 03:36 PM   #10
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Duy Nguyen View Post
My suggestion is to ASK them directly what the h*** is going on with them. I know it might sound rude, but I like the direct approach. Presents won't solve the problem permanently if there is still cloud between you and your family. Tell them about your business and how it works. Even they might not understand, they still know that you're taking it SERIOUSLY. And you're a grownup!

Hope it help
That is sound advice! Face them head on and address it directly, especially your family members. And don't lend them money.

Congratulations on making it Areevez - both you and your wife have made a great accomplishment. Be proud of yourselves and find new friends if the old ones weren't genuine.

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Unread 14th December 2011, 03:00 PM   #11
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Don't worry Arron. You should be proud of what you achieved. May be 1 in 1k or even 10k will have the ability for the out-of-the-box thinking which you do.
Keep rocking and be the most concerned abt your wife and kids who are going to be with you till your last breath
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Unread 15th December 2011, 08:39 PM   #12
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

I think that sounds like something great to go through. Half joking of course, but at least your successful and i think most people dont realise the work that gets put into these kinds of things. They sort of think of it as 'getting lucky' like how people resent those that win the lottery.
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Unread 16th December 2011, 01:30 PM   #13
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Be proud man you have achieved a lot! Dont let anyone take that away from you
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Unread 25th December 2011, 09:05 PM   #14
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Look, I am not as experienced as you are. But I'm trying to be, I am taking action now.
By now, very few people knows about this, hey! I live in south america, third world minds here. I had to tell my mom about this (I'm 21, i live with my parents) and my mother was like "hope they don't steal you anything" STEAL? well.. this is how it is here.
I decided not to tell almost anyone about this because of the exact same thing you mentioned, jelousy. I don't understand how people kind of hate you for that, for deciding to live better?
I guess it's human nature? I really don't get it
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Unread 25th December 2011, 11:36 PM   #15
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Thanks a lot for everyones input! I took a bit from everyones outlook on the situation. Merry Christmas to all btw!

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Unread 26th December 2011, 01:04 AM   #16
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Quote:
Originally Posted by aeronat View Post
Look, I am not as experienced as you are. But I'm trying to be, I am taking action now.
By now, very few people knows about this, hey! I live in south america, third world minds here. I had to tell my mom about this (I'm 21, i live with my parents) and my mother was like "hope they don't steal you anything" STEAL? well.. this is how it is here.
I decided not to tell almost anyone about this because of the exact same thing you mentioned, jelousy. I don't understand how people kind of hate you for that, for deciding to live better?
I guess it's human nature? I really don't get it
I started making money online from freebie sites when I was 12. Of course none of my friends had any idea how I was getting so much money and they would tell their parents that I was doing something "illegal" on the internet lol.
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Unread 26th December 2011, 04:04 PM   #17
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Nothing beats a good dialogue... The more you talk to them, the more they understand... Just strike a good conversation and show that you care...

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Unread 26th December 2011, 06:59 PM   #18
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

One sister of mine will be ecstatic, but I don't know the results of my younger big sister and her man. I got a 1 K dollar job just now, so we'll see what she says. I hope she doesn't flip a cream pie over my face, so to speak.
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Unread 26th December 2011, 07:24 PM   #19
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Yep, when you talk about this to people who don't anything about this htey think this is all scams and going no where ... try to have a good talk with them.
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Unread 26th December 2011, 07:33 PM   #20
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

actually it's not a good situation... I don't like that kinda situation because I've been through something similar to that, but not this bad.. The best tthing I did was to discuss with them about the solution , why they're like that, and that's ALl.. If they're really a part of a family members, then they'll be just fine in the future with both of you.

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Unread 26th December 2011, 10:08 PM   #21
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

I really don't agree with the gift things. I used to give gifts to my friends and families who used to downgrade me. They change for awhile and for a good reason and that's for the sake of gifts. Just try to work on your own and prove to them that you are working for your future and not theirs.

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Unread 27th December 2011, 12:11 AM   #22
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MYDCOM View Post
You can get your family together by buying them nice Christmas presents this year
Im not so sure that'll solve the problem. By buying them nice CHristmas gifts, it could send them the message that your trying to buy their respect and approval. You could wait for your family members to mature or you could just discuss it with them. Speak to them about the issues. It'll make aware of what theyre doing.
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Unread 27th December 2011, 01:28 AM   #23
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

It makes a lot of sense to face them head on, also share with them IM business. Teach them how to fish, of course those who are interested will realize it is not a quick fix. Luckily for them they will have someone close to hold their hand through the IM journey, but that is only if they are willing. BUT do not buy them gifts to fix the problem it will not, some ungrateful members may even belittle what you give. Since your financial position has changed they could be expecting more expensive gifts because you have more money anyway. However, if you feel in your heart that you want to give because it is Christmas, then do it from your heart. However,it it will help you more, if you can make it very clear that you are not happy with their reaction to your progress as family. You expect that from outsiders but not from family. This is because am sure you want the best for them and would certainly be willing to teach them how to do it, if they are willing to work hard. Best wishes, it must be tough though. Despite all, am glad you are to think through this with some money in your pocket than without, am happy for you and your success!

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Unread 27th December 2011, 02:51 AM   #24
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Default Re: Friends and Family JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of your success?

I understand where your coming from and it is not easy. I don't believe the gift thing is the route to go though for the long term.

I don't know about explaining it to them either, some people just do not get that relentless inner ambition to rise above what everyone else considers the norm of shuffling off to a job.

I agree with Duy Nguyen when it comes to the direct approach, I have had to use it myself.

I had a certain inlaw bring to my husband's attention that I was wasting my money on investing in IM tools and such. Of course that person had no clue what an IM tools is, they just knew I spent money and thought it was on useless scams.

My husband stood behind me 100% and rightly so as he has witnessed the results. It did cause a rift though that can still be felt.

There is simply not enough time to worry about other people's insecurities when you are trying so hard to build a sustainable way of life. Life is too short.



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