Paralyzed by Fear of Failure? Or Fear of SUCCESS?

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This is sort of a rough sketch of what I've been deliberating over the past few days or so... caffeine's still kicking in so bear with me, but I just had to put this out there.

One of the core reasons many have not yet succeeded - fear of failure. Nobody likes to talk about it, or think about it - after all, the more you define yourself by successes (or failures), the closer to the heart it is. (And for many, that's VERY close.) Hell, even writing this thread I went off on a bunnytrail until I caught myself. Apparently I don't like talking about it either, but I feel like I should - perhaps because I feel that acknowledging it would help someone else as well as myself.

Take action, pick one system and stick to it until you can make it work, so long as you keep pushing you'll see success. Perfect logic, most people here already have that in the back of their minds somewhere, at least theoretically. In actuality however, well...

Shinyobjekt Syndrom, anyone? I'm not going to insult anyone's intelligence and say that anyone ACTUALLY believes that just because they hit the Buy Now button and read the material that money will magically materialize in their Paypal account, buttttttttttttttt let's face it, more often than not, people make either a couple attempts at the material they bought before they give up, or they let it sit on their harddrive altogether.

While I admit, there are sellers who omit "the good stuff" or who simply can't teach, the inability to act goes deeper than that... unconsciously afraid of, what if it doesn't work? What does that mean, what does that say about your character? Is it lack of intelligence, inability to make any sort of positive difference?

Conversely... what if you're afraid of actually SUCCEEDING?

Fear of success. If you've never made money before, or only miniscule amounts, what would happen if you suddenly succeeded? If you earned even an extra $1000 a month, life as you know it would change. What if that were a $1000 a DAY? Life would never be the same again... and while, that success is a Good Thing, it also means quite another:

Life's changes, for better or worse, require a step outside your comfort zone.

Sticking with the status quo, life stays the same... getting comfortable even in sucky situations. If you want it to change, you have to initiate it, and if you're resistent to making that change, it's up to you to find out why.

Which brings me to another important point: your failures do not define you, neither do your successes. It's what you do in the face of both, what you take from it and how you better yourself, that makes you who you are - not the number of successes or failures. You fail miserably, you have a choice to stay on the ground and ruminate OR learn from it and act differently. You succeed, you have the choice to stop right there or keep pushing yourself to do even better.

So do one thing today that's not in your comfort zone... you might fail, you might succeed. In either case, what will you do with the result?
#failure #fear #paralyzed #success
  • Profile picture of the author ryanman
    I have observed that usually just doing one or two things which are outside your comfort zone isn't enough. You have to do it regularly and all the time.

    The main issue is people try to consciously do things when the real block is in their sub-conscious mind. And in the battle between the conscious and the sub-conscious mind, the sub-conscious always wins.

    That's why so many people make lists, plan things out and even take action yet eventually they go back to their old habit patterns. The only way to truly go forward is to attack your sub-conscious belief system and that is not easy to do.
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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    Very true, and thanks for bringing that up.

    Fear is felt unconsciously... on the outside a task may simply appear boring or useless, or you simply "don't feel like" doing anything, but more often than not something deeper is going on... apathy = the mask of fatigue in effort to block emotional overload.

    They say it takes about 21 days to create a new habit, or to break an old one. Trying to do too much at once puts undue stress on the mind, however, and you end up fighting it tooth and nail.

    Concentration on a particular change, however... what you focus on, expands.
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    • Profile picture of the author ryanman
      Originally Posted by Emily Meeks View Post

      They say it takes about 21 days to create a new habit, or to break an old one.
      This isn't usually true for everyone, but common research tells us so therefore we try to believe that it must be true. Sometimes it can take you years to develop a new habit. Again, this boils down to how quick your sub-conscious is to replace the old habit with a new one. And that varies from person to person.

      However, here is something which would help a lot of people on this forum. This method is in several parts and describes how you can consciously communicate with your sub-conscious and get the desired results -

      Manifesting Experiment 1 : The 'Manifesting Box' Method - How to get what you want effortlessly... - Inward Quest
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      • Profile picture of the author coachkat
        Fear of Success...similar to fear of failure because...

        If you get the success you desire...you fear you will turn around and lose it, which equates to failure..or better yet, fear of loss.

        Either way, it's a scarcity mentality which gets to be worked on daily by identifying your self-talk patterns and categorizing them into "scarcity talk" or "abundant talk."

        Then, writing down or recording when you identify these patterns and re-wording the "scarcity talk" into "abundant talk."

        It's really about re-programming your brain neuro-pathways, and I agree...NOT an easy thing to do.
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  • Profile picture of the author SanjeevM
    Originally Posted by Emily Meeks View Post

    Conversely... what if you're afraid of actually SUCCEEDING?

    Fear of success. If you've never made money before, or only miniscule amounts, what would happen if you suddenly succeeded?
    Emily, thanks for the great post!

    It's true that many people have a hidden fear of success because they fear change. Often, they avoid changing things by making all kinds of excuses.

    If they were to succeed - money-wise or in other ways - many of those excuses would no longer be valid. And they would be forced to change...which is why they would rather not succeed!

    Cheers,
    Sanjeev
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