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Unread 7th June 2012, 01:11 AM   #1
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Default How to Stop Struggling and Finally Get Ahead

This letter has one theme, and one theme ONLY. It's time for more people to stop losing out for good... and start getting ahead.

And all it takes is tapping into the true power of the hidden "siren" that's always singing it's song in your head. Your greatest ally, even when it doesn't feel like it.

First, let's lay it out on the table...

I HAVE IT. I have it bad.

Have what? Easy...

THE FEAR OF WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK.

I got it. I'm even afraid to admit it. But I can't deny it. It's in there. Locked up in it's cage. Curled up in the corner. Always wailing. Always kicking and screaming...

...always gasping for breath.

Think about what happens at a red light. Who in their right mind pulls up next to each other? Who does that? Few, if any. I sure think it feels weird, right?

That's how bad this is. Epidemic.
"THEY MIGHT SEE YOU!"
Every now and then, I used to entertain this fear. I'd open up the cage door. Talk to him. Ask questions. Play psychologist. (Heck, I still do sometimes, by accident.)

Yet as soon as he sees the light, he screams in fear. And I had too much sympathy. I felt bad. I wanted to get to know it better.

I'd try to coax him, "Look, I'm just here to help you. I want to free you. I want to show you the error of your ways. Just let me in, so I can understand you..."

And everytime, without fail, I got the compelte opposite of what I wanted: As soon as I got too close, he chained me to the side of the cage, and... CLOSED THE DOOR!

(It didn't work. Again! No kidding.)

What a crock!

So then there were two in the cage.

I sat there for awhile. Squinting into the light. Wondering what it was "like" out there. It sure was bright. I thought, "Where is the key that will set me free?"

With little else to do, I talked to him. This scary creature. After all, I'd grown used to him. It was getting pretty comfortable and roomy in there, to boot.

Not for nothing, we quickly became good chums, the best of friends, allies even. He even promised to help me look for the key himself!
"Just be good little boy, don't do much, talk to me... I'll set you free."
What a good friend. Right!

You know what? It took me a long time to figure out, the ball and chain it put on my leg wasn't very heavy. Not at all.

Actually, I could break it easily. I didn't even need one of those ****ty small hammers. Pretending it wasn't there, worked just fine. So I just did just that.

I walked out. There was no key. Oh, don't get me wrong. He was upset. He was livid.
"You can't do that! It's bad out there! Really!"
And when that didn't work:
"Wait! What will they say? C'mon, look at you. What makes you think you can do it? Come back now. It's safe here! I'll show you the way... I'll protect you."
Turns out, it's not so bad out here. I can do almost anything I want.

What a bad liar!

Here's the thing: The little guy still screams back there. Trust me, he screams a lot more now, actually. Same volume, it just doesn't seem as loud anymore.

Weird. And you got to give the guy credit. Because as it turns out... he was right! He is my friend! In some sick, convoluted way...

He's my BEST friend.

More and more, I find him pointing me in the right direction. I got my own hunting dog. The invisible lighthouse, flailing just off the coast, guiding me to where I want to set my sail.

Turns out, without him, I would have no idea what I really wanted to do. Not a clue! It never fails. As soon as he starts yelling, I know I'm close.

Then, as soon as I cross into uncharted territory (either for good or bad) he shuts the hell up! As if to say...
"Oh. Ha? That wasn't so bad."
(Or, my favorite...)
"Just kidding, I guess? What? I was bored..."
Truly.

The point is, if there's something you really want to do, tell everyone who's close enough to you. Don't keep it to "close to your vest."

Thinking that way is his first line of defense...
"They won't 'get' you! What if they're think you're crazy! What if they try to discourage you! Better... to keep silent."
(The first nail in the coffin.)

Sure, a lot of other people won't "get" what you want to do. And they might have some less than encouraging things to say.

Enjoy it. I mean, really enjoy it. Love it. Everyone you see on a daily basis. Find a way to bring it up (after you talk about them!)

Keeping silent leads to... zero, zilch, nothing. No progress. None.

Decide! Share! Pursue!

Tell your friends. All of them. All. Not only does it help your focus, but you'll very quickly find out who your real friends are... who supports you... and who doesn't.

Plus, you might be pleasantly surprised at those who DO support you. Some who not only offer to help you, but some who actually have the ability... to do so!

(It's the most amazing thing.)

If you don't tell anyone what you're doing, because you're afraid they'll criticize you, then you've already lost, before you've even begun...

...because they're NOT going to be the only one.

It's never going to stop. Never!

(Not if you're doing.)

Naysayers be damned. People won't always respond well to you. No matter how hard you try. No matter how good or ambitious you are... or become.

It has more to do with them, what's going on inside their head, than with you. Their opinion. Their worldview.

Not your problem. That's their deal. When you go to sleep at night, you're left with yourself. So do what you want. Make no apologies.

Critics go away to piss in the corner. Annoy them with your positive outlook about your goals. It gives them something to do. Makes them happy.

After all, you do want to make other people happy, don't you? ;-]

All kidding aside, I hope you go for it.

Thanks,

Marc

Signature on hiatus. Going to absolutely crush it later though. Watch this space.

"This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed."
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Unread 12th June 2012, 03:18 AM   #2
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Default Re: How to Stop Struggling and Finally Get Ahead

It's never going to stop. Never!

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Unread 12th June 2012, 12:40 PM   #3
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Default Re: How to Stop Struggling and Finally Get Ahead

Am really just about to stop struggling and start getting ahead very soon..

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Last edited by stopper; 12th June 2012 at 12:41 PM. Reason: typo
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Unread 13th June 2012, 04:55 AM   #4
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Default Re: How to Stop Struggling and Finally Get Ahead

At first I thought you had a personality disorder, but then I really saw why you made the post and focused less on the 3rd person "I".

Great post!

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Unread 13th June 2012, 05:25 AM   #5
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Default Re: How to Stop Struggling and Finally Get Ahead

I don't know where I read this:

There are two personality types. One type of personality responds well to telling everybody what you're going to do because of the pressure it can cause. If you're that kind of personality--tell EVERYBODY!

Another type of personality doesn't respond well to telling everybody because for them, the act of telling them makes it feel like they've already done it. If you're that kind of personality--tell NOBODY!

How to tell which one you are: check your past. If you have a long history of responding to the pressure of telling people, you're type one If you have a long history of getting excited about a project, telling your friend and then not doing the project 'cause now it's 'boring', you're type two.

Both legit personalities, it just pays to know which one you are.

(I'm type 2; learned the hard way...)
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Unread 13th June 2012, 05:53 AM   #6
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Default Re: How to Stop Struggling and Finally Get Ahead

I totally agree you should be held by back by your critics, there seems to be direct relationship between the number of people who are criticizing you and the amount of success you are having.

I came across this anti Timothy Ferris post (who is admidtly someone I admire a lot) and the post was sooo long, I couldn't believe how much effort this person had put into decrying someone else. They could have produced their own book with the amount of attention they had given it.

People really can be their own worst enemy.

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