Leave Your Ego at Home For a Day, Friends and Family Will Thank You
This is taken from a post I wrote over at www.thetakeover.com - a site I'm using to promote my budding efforts to takeover the world. MUAHAHAHAHA! </evil laugh> Since the article revolves around matters of the mind, I figured it might be appropriate to share here too:
Conventional wisdom advises that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. I concur. An Ego, on the other hand, can be quite disposable at times. And when left unchecked, quite destructive.
Typically, the word ego and the context in which it’s used carries a negative connotation. On the contrary, a healthy ego can be useful for many things, like:
When we fail to properly regulate or control our ego, we are liable to become controlled by it. This can be demonstrated by a super-inflated sense of self worth, superiority complexes, narcissism, greed, and the ever-so-popular “I told you so” syndrome.
On the lighter side of things, egos are responsible for such fun Hip Hop classics as “Move Bitch, Get Out the Way!” and “Look at Me Now (I’m Gettin Paper)”. On the darker end of the spectrum, an ego whose rein has slipped beyond grasp is responsible for atrocities like:
A Personal Revelation
So I found myself on the Freeway one late Saturday night, cruising at the speed of limit. I was in the lane adjacent to the fast one, 2nd from the left. There was no particular rush to reach my destination, as told by the needle on the speedometer. It was about 1:30AM and, aside from the usual vagabonds, there weren’t many cars on the road.
A quick check in the rear view mirror confirms that my ‘six’ is clear of headlights. I have as much space to maneuver as I need, which I don’t, because at this point I’ve got one eye open, one hand on the wheel, and a perfect 45 degree lean. I’m on complete autopilot. For the most part, the only direction I need to move in is straight.
Unfortunately, things took a slight turn for the worse.
Now, just a moment ago there was nothing but dark road behind me, and a few cars up ahead. By the time I glanced up again to survey the rear view, there was a truck riding my bumper so close that I couldn’t even see its headlights. There must have been about > < this much space between our vehicles. Um. Wtf?
Immediately I sat up. I could feel a reaction brewing deep within me. It felt a lot like Rage.. Road RAGE… I WAS STARTING TO SEE RED LIKE CYCLOPS FROM THE X-MEN!!!! Just moments away from indiscriminately killing everyone with my laser beam eyes, I paused and asked myself a question that lead to an epiphany.
Self did not have an answer. In that moment my thirst for blood subsided and I realized that I had a choice. I could allow this growing, reasonless anger to dictate my next move or I could calmly remove myself from the situation and remain unaffected.
The first scenario would have me antagonizing the other driver by brake checking him and driving even slower. In response, driver likely would have rode my tail even more aggressively to [try to] intimidate me into yielding. The cycle would have repeated itself until he gave up and drove around me with a middle finger salute, or until I reluctantly moved out of his way, or until our egos and car fenders collided simultaneously.
‘Nationwide is on your siiiiiiide!’ I can hear the theme music now as we exchange insurance information.
Scenario 2 is a simple lane change. Instead of taking the other driver’s aggressive behavior personally and getting offended, I oblige him and slide to the right. I’m operating with the understanding that this is not a battle worth fighting. The cause is unjust and there are no spoils awaiting the victor.
So the other driver gets to feel like the big man on campus because someone moved out of his way. Meanwhile, I avoid wasting energy by getting worked up over nothing of consequence. Sounds like a win / win, and it only requires the surrender of ego to practicality.
Sometimes that’s easier said than done. Nevertheless, I managed to convince myself to move one lane over and watch the truck speed past. Much to my surprise, the world did not come to an end. Interesting.
I’ve come to understand that some of the opposition we face in life is of our own design. We invite conflict by focusing our energy in the wrong places. We pick our battles unwisely and, consequently, create problems for ourselves. Unnecessary problems that are quickly paired with scapegoats. This allows us to blame everyone but the pilot for the mid-flight turbulence we experience.
“Its never my fault!” says the ego. But the truth says that’s a lie.
While we may not be at fault for spilling all of the milk in our sometimes messy lives, we do have full responsibility for how we react. We can cry about it, blame the cow, get upset with the glass for knocking itself over, maybe even open the carton and dump some more liquid calcium on the table. Intentionally. You know, fight fire with fire! That’ll teach that damn milk. And the table too !!
OR…
We can realize there’s no grand Skull and Crossbone conspiracy working to ruin our day, and simply clean up the mess without giving it a second thought.
Now apply that philosophy to every mess you encounter in your life, and watch what happens. You might be surprised to find that avoiding aggravation is as simple as changing lanes. It doesn’t matter how it started. You have the power to end it by withdrawing your attention from it.
Freeing yourself from of a fragile and domineering ego is quite a liberating experience. You no longer have the need to control your environment and those within it. No more resisting your circumstances. Maneuvering around obstacles and obstructive people becomes effortless. Life flows like water.
Try it out for a day, see how it makes you feel!
Conventional wisdom advises that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. I concur. An Ego, on the other hand, can be quite disposable at times. And when left unchecked, quite destructive.
EgoWell, that seems like a pretty harmless definition, doesn’t it? I’m sure most people would agree that having a strong sense of self is a good thing. It helps us to identify our role within the relationships we maintain, and within society as a whole. It keeps us rooted in our own personal values and beliefs, and less susceptible to external influence.
[ee-goh, eg-oh]
noun
pluralegos
1. The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought
Typically, the word ego and the context in which it’s used carries a negative connotation. On the contrary, a healthy ego can be useful for many things, like:
- Conveying self-confidence
- Establishing and enforcing personal boundaries
- Excelling in the competitive arena, be it sports or contests of the mind
- Continuously striving to perform at our highest potential, staying committed to the pursuit of excellence
When we fail to properly regulate or control our ego, we are liable to become controlled by it. This can be demonstrated by a super-inflated sense of self worth, superiority complexes, narcissism, greed, and the ever-so-popular “I told you so” syndrome.
On the lighter side of things, egos are responsible for such fun Hip Hop classics as “Move Bitch, Get Out the Way!” and “Look at Me Now (I’m Gettin Paper)”. On the darker end of the spectrum, an ego whose rein has slipped beyond grasp is responsible for atrocities like:
- Slavery
- Racism
- The war in Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam and pretty much every war ever fought
- Eugenics
- Mind control experiments
- Presidential kill lists
A Personal Revelation
So I found myself on the Freeway one late Saturday night, cruising at the speed of limit. I was in the lane adjacent to the fast one, 2nd from the left. There was no particular rush to reach my destination, as told by the needle on the speedometer. It was about 1:30AM and, aside from the usual vagabonds, there weren’t many cars on the road.
A quick check in the rear view mirror confirms that my ‘six’ is clear of headlights. I have as much space to maneuver as I need, which I don’t, because at this point I’ve got one eye open, one hand on the wheel, and a perfect 45 degree lean. I’m on complete autopilot. For the most part, the only direction I need to move in is straight.
Unfortunately, things took a slight turn for the worse.
Now, just a moment ago there was nothing but dark road behind me, and a few cars up ahead. By the time I glanced up again to survey the rear view, there was a truck riding my bumper so close that I couldn’t even see its headlights. There must have been about > < this much space between our vehicles. Um. Wtf?
Immediately I sat up. I could feel a reaction brewing deep within me. It felt a lot like Rage.. Road RAGE… I WAS STARTING TO SEE RED LIKE CYCLOPS FROM THE X-MEN!!!! Just moments away from indiscriminately killing everyone with my laser beam eyes, I paused and asked myself a question that lead to an epiphany.
Self, why are you so mad?
Self did not have an answer. In that moment my thirst for blood subsided and I realized that I had a choice. I could allow this growing, reasonless anger to dictate my next move or I could calmly remove myself from the situation and remain unaffected.
The first scenario would have me antagonizing the other driver by brake checking him and driving even slower. In response, driver likely would have rode my tail even more aggressively to [try to] intimidate me into yielding. The cycle would have repeated itself until he gave up and drove around me with a middle finger salute, or until I reluctantly moved out of his way, or until our egos and car fenders collided simultaneously.
‘Nationwide is on your siiiiiiide!’ I can hear the theme music now as we exchange insurance information.
Scenario 2 is a simple lane change. Instead of taking the other driver’s aggressive behavior personally and getting offended, I oblige him and slide to the right. I’m operating with the understanding that this is not a battle worth fighting. The cause is unjust and there are no spoils awaiting the victor.
So the other driver gets to feel like the big man on campus because someone moved out of his way. Meanwhile, I avoid wasting energy by getting worked up over nothing of consequence. Sounds like a win / win, and it only requires the surrender of ego to practicality.
Sometimes that’s easier said than done. Nevertheless, I managed to convince myself to move one lane over and watch the truck speed past. Much to my surprise, the world did not come to an end. Interesting.
I’ve come to understand that some of the opposition we face in life is of our own design. We invite conflict by focusing our energy in the wrong places. We pick our battles unwisely and, consequently, create problems for ourselves. Unnecessary problems that are quickly paired with scapegoats. This allows us to blame everyone but the pilot for the mid-flight turbulence we experience.
“Its never my fault!” says the ego. But the truth says that’s a lie.
While we may not be at fault for spilling all of the milk in our sometimes messy lives, we do have full responsibility for how we react. We can cry about it, blame the cow, get upset with the glass for knocking itself over, maybe even open the carton and dump some more liquid calcium on the table. Intentionally. You know, fight fire with fire! That’ll teach that damn milk. And the table too !!
OR…
We can realize there’s no grand Skull and Crossbone conspiracy working to ruin our day, and simply clean up the mess without giving it a second thought.
Now apply that philosophy to every mess you encounter in your life, and watch what happens. You might be surprised to find that avoiding aggravation is as simple as changing lanes. It doesn’t matter how it started. You have the power to end it by withdrawing your attention from it.
Freeing yourself from of a fragile and domineering ego is quite a liberating experience. You no longer have the need to control your environment and those within it. No more resisting your circumstances. Maneuvering around obstacles and obstructive people becomes effortless. Life flows like water.
Try it out for a day, see how it makes you feel!
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Odahh -
Thanks
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