Opinions on New Self-Help System Sales Page Please!

Hey Terry,

I only had a couple of free minutes so I just read the top. Because in my opinion you have to catch my attention above the fold or you're doomed.

Your sales letter, sorry to say, doesn't cut it for me.

I'm sure your system is unique and brings elements that are not in other programs... but I feel like EVERY product EVER seems to say that in one way or another.

In addition, your opening questions are too vague. Everyone is worried about something and fed up with something. You need to be more specific and add some heat to REAL, SPECIFIC problems that people are facing.

For example, "Are you worried that your bad temper is going to destroy your relationship with your wife and kids?"

I'm hoping some expert copywriters can step in here and help you as well but those are my initial thoughts very quickly. I commend you for asking for input becuase you are going to get the feedback you need to make it awesome.

Final thought... I would look to hire a designer to make a nice unique, fresh design for you. This looks way too "traditional" and "internet marketey" and I think that might hurt conversions as well

I would definitely add some photos or video on that site. It kinda looks too empty so visitors would probably leave the page very soon.

The first thing I spotted was the domain name, perhaps its worth getting set up for 2013?

As the above post mentioned, one or two pictures/videos would break the page up. But I'd say its a very decent effort

It is a good effort, but what stands out is your reluctance to part with any of your content. You won't make sales holding the entire thing back, give away a step for your potential audience! If you product is good your sales and your content (which you just enticed them with by giving them a taste rather than leaving them in the dark) will reflect it. Try it out!

Hi,

I know one thing for sure ... It is better than my sales page..(I don't have one ... so

Congratulations for putting it out there.. there are a few key points that caught my eye in
the beginning .. the check marked questions I felt like answering ,... Yes, I am worried..etc
although this wasn't expanded much it was a decent start..

others probably have better constructive criticism but I would like to say that I thought it seemed
a little long but as we know that is not a bad thing in itself.. it's just that if you are getting somewhere quickly.. you can continue on longer.. I felt a little lost and couldn't focus on reading it.
With that, I wish you well.. keep at it. you're light years ahead of the masses and I love
mindset stuff so I'll be rooting for ya!

Congratulation you have done the hard part. If you add some picture or some graphic it should be better.

Congratulation you have done the hard part.